Phantom Girl
by bibliosophia
Summary: "Phantom Lord's famous for not getting along with Fairy Tail. I actually fretted deciding which one I wanted to join. After all, their reputation is nearly as nuts as Fairy Tail's!" Lucy helps a Dragon Slayer defeat some slavers, and in exchange he invites her to join his guild! ...no, not that Dragon Slayer. No, not that guild.
1. The Iron Dragonslayer

Corder Cleeve, Assistant Stationmaster of Edelweiss Town, found himself faced with an impossible dilemma: should he get an early night, knowing he had to start work at an unholy hour the next morning, or should he go down to the bar with his friends? He paced, he dithered, he weighed the pros and cons of each and even asked his mother and still he couldn't justify going drinking. Finally, in desperation, he flipped a coin.

Here, it landed heads. Corder whooped, went to the bar and got utterly and incomprehensibly sloshed.

The next morning he found himself in someone else's bed, bombs detonating behind his eyes and his tongue like sandpaper. With great effort he toppled himself onto the floor and crawled across the room to a writing desk. On pink rose-patterned notepaper he scrawled _TRAIN BOSS. CAN'T WORK BECAUSE DYING. YRS C. C. XOXO. _

The window was cracked open just a little; he poked the letter through the gap and watched it waft to the street below. That done, Corder slid gently back onto the floor and closed his eyes. He thought his pants might be on the roof.

It had been a good night, he decided.

Outside, a helpful passerby picked up the letter, painstakingly deciphered the chickenscratch handwriting and bore it to the home of Stationmaster Aberell. The Stationmaster immediately recognised his subordinate's script, which was not actually that much better when he was sober, and snarled between his teeth. He dressed in a hurry, straightened his tie and stationmaster's hat, kissed his wife and three children (lined up in height order to wish him goodbye) and marched down to the station in high dudgeon. This was not the first time that Assistant Stationmaster Cleeve had done this, though had he not been the local area manager's nephew it would have been the last. He was a workshy layabout slacker brat, just as Stationmaster Aberell muttered to himself as he inspected the tracks that morning, and he certainly wouldn't have noticed that one of the joints in the railroad track was coming apart. Stationmaster Aberell did. There was a very small chance that this could damage one of the trains, so Stationmaster Aberell got straight onto the station's radio, shouted at the department of maintenance until they agreed to send someone over that same day, and then went to tell the waiting customers that the trains that day were all cancelled. Of course, nobody was happy to hear that, but Stationmaster Aberell didn't care. In his opinion, the customers were only an unwelcome distraction from the smooth running of the railway network.

"Is the train seriously cancelled?" a blonde girl asked plaintively. "I really need to get to Hargeon!"

"Walk," Aberell suggested.

The blonde pouted and leant over, hands on her knees, blouse gaping open. There was no chance that those were real, Aberell decided. "Isn't there anything you can do?"

Aberell informed her coolly that he was married and, moreover, had higher standards than that. The blonde piece of skirt could only fume and stomp away.

She boarded the train to Hargeon on the morning of the next day, twenty-four hours later than she might have done. It probably wasn't enough of a difference to matter.

Lucy was sprawled across two train seats, reading the new issue of Sorceror Weekly, when the train drew into the last stop before Hargeon and a squad of Rune Knights came aboard Lucy sat bolt upright with a squeak, trying to remember if she'd done anything illegal in the last month. Everyone else in the carriage had the same reaction.

The Rune Knights didn't descend on anyone with binding spells and handcuffs, though. They sat down, crossed their legs and waited. Maybe they really only needed to get the train. Like normal people. One of them whistled idly as the train pulled out of the station.

"Whistling is prohibited!" the sergeant barked.

Lucy peeked at the Rune Knight next to her. He looked back. Lucy looked quickly back down at her magazine, and then slid her gaze slowly back to inspect him out of the corner of her eye. The young man behind the imposing uniform went bright pink.

"I'm sorry," Lucy murmured, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "Is there something wrong? I didn't think the Knights usually travelled by public train."

"Uh," the young Knight said. He glanced at his commanding officer and then decided to risk it. "There's a problem in Hargeon and it was just quicker to get the train than wait for the transport office to get organised."

"Oh no! Is it serious?" Lucy asked, and fluttered her eyelashes.

The Rune Knight glanced at his commanding officer again and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Haven't you seen the papers? A hundred girls have been kidnapped by a gang of slave traders!"

"Oh, no!"" Lucy said. "What happened?" She turned her head to look deeply into his eyes, put her hands down on the seat and leant forward. The neck of her top gaped open.

The Rune Knight immediately told her everything.

"Yesterday a mage went into Hargeon claiming to be the Fairy Tail mage Salamander-"

"Oh, I've heard of him!" Lucy interrupted.

"I said claiming to be," the Knight reminded her. "Anyway he got a swarm of girls eating out of his hand and invited them to a party aboard the ship he just happened to have in port, and then they sailed away-"

"-and didn't come back?" Lucy guessed.

"Exactly," he said. "The thing is, before they unmoored, a different mage arrived at the harbour saying he was also a mage of Fairy Tail and boarded the ship. He didn't get off before it left, though."

"So he was one of the slave traders?" Lucy guessed.

"No," the Rune Knight said, "because Fairy Tail's already been asked about it, and they said that he matched the description of the mage _actually_ called Salamander."

"So..." Lucy tried to work it out on her fingers and then said, "So he found out they were impersonating him? Why hasn't he stopped them already?" In Weekly Sorceror's rankings of Which Fairy Tail Mage Caused The Most Damage This Month? the Salamander was never out of the top three. He was hardly ever out of the top one. "Did he sink the whole boat?"

"We asked Fairy Tail about that too," the Rune Knight said, "and they think he probably got travelsick."

"Travelsick?"

"Travelsick," the Rune Knight confirmed, with a weary sigh. "One of them said that hopefully they'd thrown him overboard, but then he realised he wasn't wearing any clothes and left in a hurry."

Lucy laughed.

"It's not a joke," the Rune Knight said reproachfully.

"I'm sorry," Lucy lied, and shifted so that her thigh pressed against his. "They must be a lot of trouble when you actually have to deal with them... but if you get travelsick that badly, why would you get onto a boat?"

"I don't know," the Rune Knight said, shaking his head. "They're all mad – this whole thing is going to be a lot of trouble, though, because it's a naval operation, so we need to get the Caelum fleet on board and they're always uncooperative unless their own necks are on the line." He sighed. "We probably won't get out there for another six hours, at-"

"Sharing classified information is prohibited!"

The Knight broke off mid-sentence. Lucy ducked down into her seat. The commanding officer's stare seared into them for a few agonising seconds, but finally he moved on.

"Would you, uh, like a drink?" the Knight whispered. "Uh, with me, specifically? Later?"

Lucy cast a quick look out of the window. They were drawing into Hargeon station.

"Absolutely!" she murmured back, doing her best to look enthusiastic. The train slowed. "You can tell me all about how you took on those awful slavers!"

The Rune Knight went red again, and the train stopped.

"Squad! Disembark!" their commanding officer barked. It seemed like he was trying to make up for the lack of official transportation with increased volume. Lucy's Rune Knight scrambled up in double quick time and the whole squad followed after their commanding officer like a line of ducklings as he left the train. "Take care of yourself, now," Lucy's Rune Knight muttered to her as they left.

"I will!" Lucy chirped, and she was indeed very careful the whole time that she was running down to the harbour and hiring a motorboat. If they were slave traders, then they must be heading to Bosco, right? And if she defeated them and rescued the Fairy Tail mage, then they were bound to let her join, right? This was seriously the perfect opportunity!

The SE-plug boat cost a lot of money to hire. Lucy batted her eyelashes, leant forward over the counter, and said "How much is it really?"

The woman behind the counter looked at her funny.

"Oh fine," Lucy said, and paid up. Ten minutes later, she was flying over the sea, white spray breaking on either side of her bow. It was a tiny boat, barely big enough for Lucy to sit in, but that made it easier to run, right? It was still draining much more of her reserves than she had anticipated, though. She was starting to worry that it would wear her out completely and that she would be found months later as a bleached skeleton in a drifting boat, when she saw the smoke plume of another ship on the horizon.

She grit her teeth and forced the boat to go faster. The other ship on the horizon grew larger and larger, and then larger, and then quite a bit too large, looming over her like a solid wall. "Where's the brake on this thing?" Lucy wailed, hands skittering over the controls, but it was too late for that. In desperation she grabbed the wheel and dragged it all the way around to the left. The boat hit the ship side-on rather than powering into it head-first. The jolt still nearly threw Lucy over the side of the ship. She clutched at the wheel and hung on until the boat stopped rocking. Had anyone heard that? She craned her head up. Nobody was leaning over the rail looking down at her. Lucy grabbed the mooring tether, pressed it against the side of the ship and activated the magic to hold it in place, and then reached for her keys.

"Open! Gate of the Bull, Taurus!"

She regretted this decision about half a second after she made it, when she found herself jammed up against the wheel by Taurus's bulk. Taurus appreciated this a lot more than Lucy did, and he was just as happy to throw her up to the deck of the ship.

"It would be an honour to handle Miss Lucy's _perfect body_!"

"I know," Lucy agreed, exasperated, "but can we get on with it? I'm in sort of a hurry-"

She scrambled up onto the control panel, and Taurus grabbed her around the waist and threw her into the air. She barely had time to regret it before the deck came up to meet her.

"Ow!"

"Miss Lucy?" Taurus shouted from down below. She dragged herself to the rail and waved down at him.

"I'm all right! Thanks, Taurus!"

Taurus gave an appreciative moo which, after a moment, Lucy realised was because the rail was pushing her breasts up. She sighed, closed his gate and turned away.

"Wow," she said under her breath. It looked more like a cruise ship than a slaver, with a second deck raised over the first by high columns and wide glass windows. There were still tables set out on the deck. The cutlery rattled as the engines vibrated through the floor.

From where she stood she could see a massive door in the middle of the upper decks, but it was ablaze with lights and she could hear accordion music drifting through the windows, so there was no way she would try getting through there. Lucy crept down the deck to the stern, ducking under the portholes. Everything back there stank of smoke and was coated with a thick layer of soot. Lucy made a disgusted face and stuck out her tongue.

Almost invisible under the soot was a back door. Lucy tugged on it until it squeaked open and revealed a narrow staircase going down into the dark. She took a cautious step forward, feeling along the walls as she went. Her fingers brushed a light switch. She flicked it on. The electric lights buzzed, flickered and failed. Lucy blew out a sigh.

She followed the narrow corridors down into the bowels of the ship, tracing the walls with her fingers and listening for voices. It wasn't a voice that first warned her, though, it was that in the next corridor there was a light on. She paused at the edge of the circle of light, wiggled her toes in anticipation and peeked around the corner. A slaver was standing guard outside a locked room and smoking a cigarette. He was a big man, with a stitched-up scar running right across his face under his eyes and black hair that stuck straight up.

Lucy reached for her keys carefully, so they didn't jangle, and stepped out into the hallway. The slaver looked up. His eyes widened. He charged her.

"Open, Gate of the Crab!" Lucy shouted. "Cancer!"

Cancer's first swipe chopped the slaver's cigarette in half. The man stumbled, there was a blur of shining steel, and the slaver crumpled to the ground. His newly-bald head gleamed in the electric lights. Cancer stood over him, scissors poised.

Lucy wasn't sure how exactly Cancer incapacitated people by cutting their hair, but she wasn't going to argue with it. Instead she whooped and gave him a high five. "Good job, Cancer!"

Cancer murmured some polite thanks.

Lucy retrieved the guard's key, unlocked the door and pulled it open with a flourish. She was greeted by a confused babble of voices. "Who are you?" "Did you come to save us?" "What happened?"

Lucy pressed one hand to her cheek, modestly waved off all the praise and said "Oh, it was nothing, you don't have to thank me."

"Where are the sailors?" one of the girls asked.

"You don't need to thank me," Lucy repeated, more loudly, eyes narrowed into slits.

There was a long pause. "Thank you?" one of the girls said eventually. "Um. Did you come to help us?"

"Absolutely!" Lucy chirped. The girls were flooding out into the corridor, casting fearful looks around. "Do you have a Fairy Tail mage in there, with you, by any chance?"

"More like Faily Tail," one of the girls snapped. "He's done nothing but lie there and moan since he got thrown in here. He's completely useless!"

"That's not completely true," another one said hesitantly. "I was sitting on him. He's quite comfortable. For being a person and not a chair."

Lucy peered into the dark. Someone was lying on the floor, mouth open, wheezing. The real Salamander! Lucy was... actually not that impressed.

"Maybe we should try to take him up? He might come to in the fresh air," one of the girls suggested.

"Good idea! One of you carry him," Lucy said. "I'll lead the way!"

She scampered back up the steps with the kidnapped girls hurrying along behind her, two of them lugging the pink-haired Fairy Tail mage between them. Hee hee, this was working perfectly! Now she only needed to get all the girls into her boat – her boat – her tiny, tiny boat...

There was no way they'd all fit into her boat!

Lucy stopped dead at the top of the stairs, wailed and clutched at her face. The girls piled up behind her. A chorus rose up: "Why'd we stop?" "What happened?" "Is it a pirate?"

Lucy pressed both hands over her face while she thought about it. What should she do? Could she take out the other pirates and turn the ship back to Hargeon? How hard could that be? They were only pirates, after all...

While she was thinking it over, someone leapt over the ship's railing, stamped over to the front doors – the deck shuddered under their boots - threw the doors wide open and roared "SALAMANDER!"

The accordion music stopped dead with a squeal. Lucy goggled.

"What the hell was that?" one of the girls said. Behind her, Lucy heard a choked sound. She glanced behind. The Fairy Tail mage was struggling up the steps towards her, shoving through the crowd. His face was green and his strangely-sharp teeth were clenched with the effort, but he was still moving.

There was another crash from the front of the ship. Lucy started forward.

"Be careful!" one of the girls shouted. "He uses Charm magic!"

Lucy gave her a quick thumbs-up and raced down the deck. The massive front doors weren't just open, they were broken, thrown back so violently their glass panels smashed against the walls.

Inside, in what looked like a pleasant sitting room, dozens of slavers were crowded back against the walls. Two had been poking with their knives at a blue cat in a birdcage, but now they were just gaping openmouthed. Another slaver was lying in the wreckage of a lovely little coffee table. Lucy shrank back against the wall, clutching at the doorframe, but none of them spotted her. All their attention was fixed on the young man standing in the middle of the room, arms folded, massive steel-capped boots planted firmly on the planks. "Don't get in my way, trash," he growled. He sounded like he'd been gargling with iron filings. "Which one of you is Salamander?"

All the slavers looked towards the sofa opposite the door. The blue-haired man sitting on it brushed wood dust from his cloak and rose to his feet.

"I'm Salamander," he said. "What's your business with me? I don't take any pleasure in defeating loudmouths like-"

The intruder strode across the room, grabbed him by the front of his cloak, hauled him close and sniffed his head.

"What?" said Lucy.

"What?" said the fake Salamander.

"What?" said most of the slavers.

The intruder threw the fake Salamander back. "You don't smell like a dragonslayer," he growled. "You're lying, trash. That's irritating."

The fake Salamander raised one hand. His rings glittered. "What do I smell like, then?"

There was a long silence. "Uh," said the intruder. "...wha..." He took a stumbling step back. One of the slavers laughed.

"It's Charm, you idiot!" Lucy screamed. "He's using a spell!"

The intruder whipped around to look at her and Lucy caught a glimpse of a faceful of metal before he snarled and drew his fist back, and then his arm, his arm turned into an iron girder and he sent the fake Salamander flying. The fake Salamander crashed straight through the wall, and then through another wall, and then through the hull. Sea water gushed in through the hole. The whole ship listed to one side. Lucy shrieked. The pirate with the accordion started to play 'Orpheus in the Underworld'.

"Hey!" Lucy looked around. The Fairy Tail mage was right behind her, clinging to the doorframe as the ship pitched and yawed underfoot. The blue cat in the birdcage meowed something that sounded like 'Natsu!' but that would have been impossible because cats couldn't talk. The metal mage turned, and laughed.

"Gihihi! You're the Fairy trash, then?"

"I'm Na – _uurrrrgk_ - Fairy Tail's Flame Dragon Slayer," the pink-haired mage rasped. He was ghastly white and hanging onto the doorframe to stay upright. Still, the stare he levelled on the metal mage was full of bloodlust. "Who the hell are you?" There was water washing across the floor. The slavers were panicking. Half of them had already fled through the other door, and from the yelling and crashing outside it sounded like they'd run into the girls they'd kidnapped.

"Can you both see that?" Lucy demandd, pointing at the water flooding in through the hole in the ship. They both ignored her. The metal mage approximated a mocking bow.

"Phantom Lord's Iron Dragon, Gajeel, at your service!"

Lucy'd heard of him! He was Phantom Lord's top mage, and he'd been ranked Weekly Sorceror's Worst Possible Boyfriend for the last four years running! That was a record. Manderley the Murdering Axemage had only made it three years.

"I don't care," Natsu rasped, and staggered forward. "I won't – I won't allow insults to Fairy-" Then he fell over. There was a long pause.

"Um, the boat is sinking," Lucy said, and was ignored. The stern was tipping up as the bow flooded. The blue cat's birdcage had rolled into the wall. It wailed "Natsu!" again. The tables on the deck were piling up against the front rail. The doorway was filling up with water. Lucy scrambled further into the room to get away from it, shrieking, and then wailed louder when she realised that she'd just trapped herself.

Gajeel picked Salamander up by one ankle and swung him in the air.

"This is boring - is this eriously the best you Fairies have got?"

Salamander snarled and tried to swipe at him. The electric lights flickered and died as something under the floors short-circuited. The cat's birdcage toppled over and slid down the sloping floor towards the icy water.

"Happy!" Salamander shouted, clearly delusional with seasickness.

"Wha?" Gajeel said. "What happened to the lights?"

"The boat's sinking!" Lucy screamed. "It's sinking! It's filling up with water, can you not see that? The boat! Is! Sinking!"

"Why don't you fix it, then, instead of just standing there?" Gajeel barked. He dropped Salamander and forged towards the door, shoving Lucy aside as he went. "I'm going to wreck the rest of these bastards."

Salamander was crawling towards the birdcage. Lucy clutched at her hair and shrieked. The water was almost knee deep! The whole room was tipped sideways and the sea was still gushing in! She couldn't even summon Aquarius today! "Why couldn't this have happened yesterday?" Lucy wailed. How was she possibly supposed to fix this? How would anyone fix this? How would the slavers fix this?

Lucy whirled around, searching for a maintenance kit. Purple light flared outside the windows. A trail of fire set the fake Salamander down back on the deck, soaking wet, his spiky hair plastered flat against his skull. He strode forward back into the room, purple fire seething around his hands, and then his eyes bulged out in slow motion as one of the girls brained him with a chair.

Lucy raced across the room, slipping and sliding and scrambling over Salamander, who was lying on the floor hanging onto the birdcage for dear life. The other door led to a narrow corridor. Lucy looked back and forth frantically. To the left, uphill, there were steps going down. To the right, where the water was pooling, there was a dead end – and, completely submerged and barely visible under the surface, a purple box fixed to the wall.

Lucy splashed into the water, squealing at the cold, and grabbed at the box. The lid popped open. The water was past Lucy's waist and getting steadily deeper. Lucy pawed hurriedly through the contents – healing items, binding charms, something spiky and labelled "The Chastiser" that Lucy squeaked at and threw away into the water – and finally pulled out a set of brass knuckles with a snowflake embossed on one end.

Would those work? She was a holder-type mage, so she could tell that it was a magic item. But was it what she thought it was?

She hauled herself up. She was standing more on the wall than on the floor now, but she grasped the doorframe, kicked like a mule and hauled herself up. The couch the fake Salamander had been sitting on had slid down into the water, but the end still stuck up above the surface. The real Salamander had either managed to get out onto the deck, or slid down into the water and-

Lucy scrambled onto the end of the couch, closed her hand into a fist around the brass knuckles, and dived at the water, screaming. "Lucy Puuuuuunch!"

The magic activated as her knuckles hit the water. Her knees hit ice. The ripples washed out across the room, and the water froze solid in its wake. Lucy scrambled to her feet, whooped and punched the air. "Yes! I did it!"

Then the ship tipped up the other way as the ice buoyed it up. Lucy tumbled over and rolled across the floor. "Ow!" She righted herself, rubbing her scraped knees and elbows, and then scampered over the ice – there was no sign of a pink-haired wizard with a birdcage frozen inside it – and out onto the deck.

To her eternal relief, the girls had just mopped up the last of the slavers. Salamander was flopped down in the bow. He was obviously exhausted from the effort of saving the cat, but at least while he was curled up there looking like a candidate for euthanasia he wasn't trying to challenge Gajeel to a deathmatch all over the ship, so Lucy couldn't bring herself to care. Gajeel had made a heap of unconscious slavers to lounge on as if he were a king of the dead pirates. The fake Salamander had pride of place at the bottom of the pile.

"You missed all the fun," he greeted her.

"Oh, no! I missed the fighting!" Lucy said, and pretended to be sad. "The boat isn't sinking any more, by the way."

Gajeel grunted and settled back on his throne of battered pirates.

"You can thank me, if you want to," Lucy prompted.

"I don't want to," Gajeel growled. "Are you going to get the boat back to Hargeon or not?"

Lucy bristled. "I'm not your own personal transportation service!"

Gajeel turned his head slowly to look at her. His eyes were narrowed. "What was that, girlie?"

"I said I'm not your personal transportation service!" Lucy snapped. "Get the ship back to Hargeon yourself!"

"Um," one of the girls said. "Are we going back to Hargeon? At all?"

Gajeel and Lucy both glared at her.

"I'm just saying, getting back to Hargeon is the only way either of you are getting paid."

"Um," Lucy said, and looked around. The ship was still canted over, and one whole side – Lucy didn't know if it was port or starboard – was a block of ice. "..._Can_ we get back to Hargeon?" Were they going to have to wait until the navy showed up to get them?

"It's a boat, isn't it?" Gajeel growled. "Why's it matter if it gets wet?"

"Do you have no idea how ships work?" Lucy said, and then gave up completely on trying to explain to him how ships worked and turned back to the girls. "Do any of you know how ships work?"

"My father captains a steamship," one of the girls said. "I've sailed with him a few times. I could maybe do something?"

"I'm a naval cadet," another one chimed in.

"I have a Master's in engineering!" said one wearing a pink cloud of ruffles. "It's a standard triple-expansion reciprocating engine, right?"

"I have no idea!" Lucy said. Regardless, the girls hurried downstairs, chatting animatedly about... ship... things? Lucy had no idea. "Good luck!"

"You with that piece of garbage?" Gajeel asked, jerking a thumb at Natsu.

"What?" Lucy said, aghast. "No way! Why would you think we were-"

"Which guild you with, then?"

"Oh. Ohhhh. Uh," Lucy said. "I'm not in a guild." Gajeel screwed up his face. "Yet!" Lucy added hurriedly. She wasn't going to tell him that she wanted to join Fairy Tail. Though, looking at the Fairy Tail mage currently passed out in the bow of the ship...

"What's your magic?"

"I'm a Celestial Spirit mage!" Lucy said, and jangled her keys on her belt.

Gajeel snorted. "A summoner? No wonder you're so useless. Have you ever actually been in a fight, or do you just stand there while your summons protect you?"

"That's not fair!" Lucy snapped. "I don't treat my spirits as shields. I fight beside them!"

"Gihihihi!"

"And what sort of laugh is that supposed to be?" Lucy bristled. "I told you, I don't-"

Lucy was interrupted when the engines churned into life. She ran to the stern of the ship.

"Hey! Come back!" Gajeel shouted. Lucy ignored him, and instead hung over the stern railing to stare down. The ship had two propellors. One was still completely submerged but the other stuck up above the surface of the water. Both were turning slowly. Lucy watched them until they were spinning fast enough that the one sticking up above the water threw spray into her face, and then ran back to the bow. "We're moving!"

There was a ragged cheer from the girls.

"Hey, maybe you're worth more than I thought you were," Gajeel drawled. "Now find me something to eat."

"I'm not your cook, either!" Lucy snapped.

The ship chugged very, very, very slowly back towards Hargeon. Lucy did the sums and worked out that at this rate, it would take three days to get back to shore, and then she wailed a lot.

Fortunately, though, it wasn't too long before the navy caught up with them. They weren't happy to find out that they wouldn't be getting any of the credit, but still hitched the fake Salamander's ship behind theirs before they turned back to Hargeon. The three girls who'd fixed the ship's engine talked about knots and blah blah nautical things blah which seemed to boil down to that they were going like a train. Plumes of white spray were thrown up before their bow, and the SE-plug boat bobbed behind them like a cork.

Hargeon appeared on the horizon in the evening. As soon as the fake Salamander's ship was cut loose and tied up beside the dock, the girls flooded down the gangplank with cries of relief. Gajeel stretched and climbed off his heap of unconscious slavers. The Rune Knights descended immediately with handcuffs and binding spells. Gajeel slouched over to Salamander, picked him up birdcage and all, and threw him onto the dock, then vaulted over the side and landed next to him. He kicked Salamander in the side. "Oi! Salamander! Get off the tiles, trash!"

Lucy scrambled down the gangplank after them as quickly as she could. Salamander had pushed himself up, and now he was leaning on the birdcage.

"Hey! He's not in any shape to fight-"

Salamander gripped the bars of the birdcage. The muscles in his back and arms tensed. He yanked the cage apart like paper. The blue cat sprouted wings and flew out of the wreckage.

"Uwah?!" Lucy said.

Salamander dropped the fragments of the cage and looked up. "...won't forgive you..."

"You won't forgive me?" Gajeel repeated, and laughed. "Big words, Salamander! Have you got anything to back them up?"

Salamander rose to his knees and rasped "I'll back them up with... my fists..." The blue cat hovered around his head.

Gajeel made to slam a boot down on Salamander's back, but the blue cat shrieked a warning, and Salamander caught his boot and shoved him away. Gajeel stumbled back, and then grinned. "You finally ready to get started?" He stepped back and waited.

Salamander climbed to his feet and straightened, slowly. His stare was fixed on Gajeel and his lips were skinned back from his teeth. "I told you, I won't forgive insults to Fairy Tail!" The air was getting warm. Heat was streaming off his body. An updraft of scorching air ruffled his hair.

"Fairy Tail's garbage," Gajeel said. "From the old man to the newest little piece of trash." He squared up, held out a beckoning hand and bared his teeth in something approximating a grin. "Are you going to teach me a lesson now?"

In answer, Salamander's fists burst into flame. Gajeel's skin rippled and turned into iron scales. "I'll end you in one punch, Salamander!" His voice had risen to a shout.

Lucy squeaked and stumbled back until she teetered on the end of the pier. Should she dive from the end of the dock? Should she find them a ruler?

"Stop that this instant!"

The voice cracked like a whip. Salamander froze. Gajeel looked over his shoulder.

"Erza!" said the cat.

Lucy looked, and did a double-take. At the end of the dock stood Erza Titania. One hand was on her hip. The other rested on the hilt of her sword. For a moment her gaze lingered on Lucy, with icy contempt, and then passed over her to Gajeel. Lucy shrank back. Gajeel folded his arms across his chest and met Erza's stare. "You want to fight too, Titania?" His mouth curved into a wolfish grin.

"I'm not interested in battling," she said bluntly. "I've come to retrieve one of our mages. Natsu, come here."

"Didn't you hear what he said about-" Salamander protested.

"I heard," Erza cut him off. "But his opinion isn't worth anything." She lifted her chin and impaled Salamander on her stare. Salamander quailed. "That was reckless, Natsu. I had to leave a mission and travel a long way to come and rescue you. You shouldn't try to fight on a form of transportation. If I hear you've done it again, I won't be so tolerant. Still..." She sighed. "I won't say anything for now."

"I think you said a lot already," Lucy mumbled.

Erza extended a hand. "Come here, now."

"...aye!" Salamander chirped, and hurried to her side.

"Thank you for your help," Erza said. Her voice was so cold Lucy couldn't tell if she meant it. "Come on, Natsu. We don't want to miss the train." Salamander blanched, and wailed "Happy!" as Erza dragged him away. The blue cat flew along behind them.

Gajeel looked after them smugly. "Good to see that the trash know their place," he said, and strode away down the dock. There was some sort of official there, checking off the rescued girls on a list. As Gajeel stomped up to him, with Lucy close behind, he looked up at them wearily over his glasses and said "I suppose you both want some money?"

"Well of course I didn't do it for the money," Lucy cooed, flipping her hair. "I did it for the joy of helping my-"

"Good. I'll take all of it then," Gajeel cut in. "Show me to the money."

"What?" Lucy protested. "I wanted some too!"

"You barely did anything," Gajeel told her.

"I stopped the boat sinking!" Lucy said. "And I warned you about the Charm magic. If it wasn't for that you'd be pink and drooling in a cell on that ship right now!"

Gajeel gave it due consideration, then shook his head. "Nope. That's not right."

"Hey!"

"You want to be in a guild, don't you?"

"Where did that come from? But, yeah..." Lucy said, waiting for the trap.

"Phantom Lord's the strongest guild in the country. I'll put in a word for you."

"What?" Lucy said, completely blindsided.

"I'll get you into Phantom if you stop whinging about the money."

"...deal!" Lucy said. She hadn't been sure which of Phantom and Fairy Tail she really wanted to join, after all – they were just as strong as each other and Phantom was nearly as outrageous. Besides, Titania was _scary_. This was just as good. It wasn't exactly what she'd planned, but it was just as good.

"Good," Gajeel said, and gave her a wicked grin. "I won't guarantee that you'll survive, though. Weaklings _don't_."

For a moment, Lucy wondered if she'd made the right decision. She crushed the niggling doubt and followed Gajeel.


	2. Lucy's First Job

Lucy definitely regretted following Gajeel after she'd spent three hours screaming hysterically on the back of his motorbike. Either Gajeel had never heard of speed limits, helmets or consideration for other road users, or he thought her panicked shrieking was hilarious and wanted to make her do it louder. Probably the latter.

When they finally skidded to a halt in front of the Phantom branch in Oak Town – Lucy thought that had been the name on the signpost, though it had shot past very quickly – Lucy slid off into a heap on the ground. Gajeel locked his motorbike in place with a chain as thick around as Lucy's neck and then flipped her over with his boot. "Hey! You going to lie there all day?" He stomped away into the guild. Lucy wobbled after him.

Inside, the guild hall was a huge round building full of tables and benches and men drinking. A mezzanine ran across the middle, with a high arch under it that showed more tables and drunk men on the other side. Banners with the Phantom Lord insignia hung over the doors. She looked around for Gajeel and found that he'd already collared a bald dark-skinned man wearing a furry jacket and purple-lensed glasses.

"Hey, bozo! Sign the blonde princess up, would you?"

'Bozo' peered over Gajeel's shoulder at Lucy. "You brought back a souvenir?"

Gajeel just grunted. 'Bozo' sighed and produced a clipboard from, apparently, nowhere. He scrawled something on the top and asked Lucy "Name?"

"Lucy."

"_Full_ name," 'Bozo' clarified.

"Lucy Ashley?" That was her mother's name before she got married. Lucy could remember that easily enough.

"Age?"

"Seventeen."

"Blood ty-"

"What the hell is this?" Gajeel demanded, looming over Bozo and jabbing a finger at the top of the form where 'Bozo' had written 3rd Div. "Put her in First Division, not in with that trash!"

"What?" 'Bozo' said. "I can't sign people up to First Division as soon as they walk in. I'm only in charge of Third."

"Fill it in and I'll sign off on it, then," Gajeel snapped.

"I'm just a monkey with a pen to you, aren't I?" 'Bozo' said, with a sigh, but obligingly erased the 3rd Div and wrote 1st Div in its place. "Can we get on with it?"

Lucy didn't have an address to give him, but he took down a description of her magic and a list of her keys and her previous guild memberships (not any) and dozens of other details that Lucy didn't see ever being important. By the end, when 'Bozo' handed the form over for her to sign, a crowd of Phantom members had gathered.

"Who's that?"

"Is she new?"

"She's cute! Dibs on the first go!"

Lucy glanced around, laughed nervously and passed 'Bozo' back the enrolment form. He pulled out the stamp.

"Where do you want it?"

There was a chorus of catcalls and whoops from the audience. Lucy ducked her head and held out her arm so that he could stamp it on the back of her hand.

She shouldn't have looked away. Someone grabbed her arms and wrenched them behind her back. "Ow! Hey!" Lucy protested, and tried to stamp on his feet. The man dragged her backwards and off-balance. 'Bozo' rolled his eyes. Gajeel laughed. Another one grabbed her around the knees and lifted her feet from the ground to stop her kicking. Lucy shrieked. "Get off!" Her shoulders felt like they were going to be torn out of their sockets. They were yanking her shirt up to bare her midriff. Lucy struggled and yelled "Let go of me! Stop it!"

'Bozo' stamped the Phantom Lord mark squarely onto her stomach, so that the curl in the tail looped around her navel. The man holding Lucy's arms behind her back let go of her. The man holding her legs didn't. Lucy hit the floor shoulders first and with a yowl like a scalded cat.

"Ow!"

The other man finally let go of her legs. Lucy scrambled up and brushed herself off. They were eager to help, especially with brushing off her butt. Lucy backed away until she ran up into a table. There was a chorus of laughter.

"Oi! Back off, assholes!" a girl barked. "It's my turn to harass the fresh meat." Lucy spun around. A brown-skinned girl, with short dark hair under a purple jester hat and wearing the most appallingly battered outfit Lucy had ever seen, was sitting on the table behind her, next to a huge heap of scrap metal. "Be good boys and shove off, won't you?" She fixed them with an acidic glare. They shoved off.

"They're only Third Division," the girl informed Lucy, with contempt. "If you let them pull that crap they'll think they can get away with anything. I'm Sue. Who are you?" She looked Lucy up and down. "This is a guild, you know, not Page Three. Put some pants on, unless you think you'd appreciate those gorillas flipping your skirt up every ten minutes. Slut."

"What?" Lucy said, and dithered between outrage, confusion and shock for a moment before she settled on confusion. "What do you mean, divisions?" She looked around for a little help. Gajeel had gone to look at the request board.

Sue raised her eyebrows. "Did you not read the brochure? Typical. They never read the brochure."

"There is no brochure," 'Bozo' said, sitting down next to her. "Third Division is the subdivision based here. First Division is for the better mages. There's some at every branch. I'm Bozo, by the way." That was his real name? There was no way that could be his real name.

"The new kids aren't going to learn if you just tell them every-" Sue glanced over Lucy's shoulder and then said, "Red alert, red alert, crankypants incoming!"

Lucy looked around. Gajeel loomed over them.

"Hey, boss," Sue said. "Did you kick that other guy's ass for him?"

"The sea did," Gajeel said.

Bozo screwed up his face. "You chucked him in the sea?"

"No, idiot, he got seasick like a baby and as soon as he got off the ship the babysitter arrived," Gajeel growled. "Fucking trash. The whole thing was a waste of my time."

"He's supposed to be one of Fairy Tail's best, right?" Sue asked, and sighed. "God, they're pathetic. Kinda makes you want to put them out of their misery. Like a sick dog. What's that?" She pointed at the sheet of paper Gajeel was holding in one hand.

"A mission," Gajeel said, and handed the poster to Lucy. She read it out loud.

"Guard a magic shop overnight?" Sue raised an eyebrow, and then cranked the other one up to meet it. Lucy frowned at the poster. The reward was twenty thousand jewel. That was enough for a minor silver key. That sounded pretty good for a night of sitting in an empty shop.

"Why are you giving me this?"

"To get you out of my face quicker," Gajeel barked. "You have to do missions when you're in a guild, princess. You can't just sit on your ass all day."

Lucy's temper flared. "Fine! I'll take it!" She balled the poster up and shoved it into her bag. Why was he acting like she'd pestered him into letting her join? He was the one who invited her! Without another word she spun around and stormed out of the hall.

"Hey, boss," Sue said to Gajeel, once Lucy was out of the building, "is this the most convoluted murder plan in history or what?"

"She wanted to join Phantom that bad, she may as well find out what she's in for," Gajeel growled. "Don't interrupt me when I'm eating."

"You're not eating," Sue pointed out. Gajeel hauled the pile of scrap metal over to in front of him and picked out an iron gearwheel. Sue took the hint and left.

The first thing Lucy did was go to the shop and officially accept the mission from the shopkeeper. He seemed doubtful, but finally she convinced him that she could handle it. After that, she went to find a lettings agency. She needed somewhere to live, right?

The agent showed her around an upstairs flat on a street of blue-painted houses just beneath the guild hall. It had a cosy sitting-room, a little kitchen with a stove and a bathroom that was all shiny blue and white tiles and a deep square bath. The bedroom was almost too small for the massive bed and there wouldn't be much space to put her clothes away, but Lucy bounced on the bed and then decided that wouldn't matter. It was fully-furnished, too. The agent said the last tenant had left in a hurry.

"Uwaaaah!" Lucy said, sprawling back on the bed. "This is really nice... I think it's out of my budget, though..." She wilted a little at that, because this whole flat was the size of her childhood bedroom. "How much is it?"

"Forty-five thousand jewel a month," the agent said.

Lucy sat bolt upright. "What?"

"Forty-five thousand jewel a month," the agent repeated.

"Forty-five thousand jewel a month?!" Lucy goggled at him.

"Forty-five thousand jewel a month," the agent confirmed wearily.

Lucy sketched _45,000_ in the air with one finger. "That much?"

"Yes, that's the number forty-five thousand," the agent said.

Lucy thought about that, mouth still hanging open, and then a thought struck her. She quailed. "Is it haunted?"

"No. We have no reports of it being haunted," the agent said.

"What is it, then?"

The agent hesitated for a moment, and then said "Trouble with neighbours. You said you were a mage of Phantom Lord, yes?"

"Uh-huh," Lucy said, nodding.

"Then it shouldn't bother you," the agent said firmly.

"Uh-huh," Lucy said slowly. "But still... forty-five thousand?" Maybe there was something wrong with the taps.

"It's been empty for a while. The landlord is anxious to get someone in," the agent.

Lucy went to the window, peered out and thought about it. She didn't see any troublesome neighbours standing in the street with their pit bulls or anything like that. It was a little weird that all the houses around had protective glass covers over their flowerbeds, and racks of umbrellas on their porches, and that there were stepping-stones across the street, but maybe Oak Town just got a lot of rain.

"Can I try it for a month?" she asked.

"Absolutely!" the agent said, and just about fell over himself bringing her the documents to sign.

After he'd left Lucy dropped her bag on the couch in the sitting-room, set the alarm clock, fell down on the bed and slept for a few hours. The alarm woke her at six. She yawned, ran a brush through her hair and set out for the shop. As soon as she arrived the shopkeeper handed her the key, told her where the bathroom was and shot out. Lucy wasn't sure what he was doing, but it must be urgent.

She wandered around the shop for while, looking at the things on the shelves. There were shelves and glass cases running down each wall, two long blocks of shelving and two counters at the far end. The owner must get a lot of business, having a branch of Phantom Lord in town. Lucy stooped and peeked under the blocks of shelving. Not enough to bother dusting, though.

The celestial keys were kept in a glass case against one wall. Lucy pressed her nose against the glass and wiped away the condensation of her breath. Crater the cup, Dorado the goldfish, Serpens the snake - eww – and Ursa Minor, the lesser bear – so cute! She would definitely try to get hold of that Ursa Minor if she could.

Lucy poked around the rest of the items for a while. There were bead-sized explosive lacrima, magically-charged wax for sealing letters, all sorts of grades and designs of Gale-Force Reading Glasses (TM), a case full of magical swords, magical cards, Colour-S compacts... nothing that Lucy was interested in, though. She already had her own Gale-Force Reading Glasses (TM) and a Colour-S compact back at her new flat. She slouched up to the counters, fell into one of the chairs, flicked off all the lights except for the lamp over her chair and pulled out a book.

Aaaaaaaah. Lucy would happily take one of these missions every week.

It was an hour and fifteen chapters later when Lucy heard a rustle. She glanced over the top of her book and said "What?" out loud. There was someone standing outside, leaning over the keyhole. Lucy sat up and put the book down. The lock clicked open and in sauntered a girl with blunt-cut orange hair and holes in her jeans. The Phantom symbol was stamped squarely over her breastbone.

"Who are you?" Lucy asked, confused. "I already took this mission. What are you doing here?"

The girl didn't answer, only glanced back to make sure that she had company. Two boys followed her taller one, who had spiky green hair and was wearing a long dark coat, swept a dismissive gaze over the merchandise and snorted. The shorter one, who was wearing a high-collared pale blue shirt with the Phantom symbol on the chest, kept his eyes on the floor.

"Hey, I'm serious!" Lucy said. "Get out, or-"

The taller boy threw a spear of purple light directly at her head. Lucy screamed and dived flat. The spear flashed over her head and drove itself a foot into the wall. Lucy scrabbled for her keys, her heart pounding in her throat. What were they doing? She was in their own guild! Her keys felt massive and heavy in her hand. She could barely lift it with both hands. The keys were as big as she was. Lucy thought, what's happened? Why are my keys so huge? and then realised that she was the one who'd shrunk. The counters loomed over her like the walls of a chasm.

"Devin, can you dig her out?" the girl asked. Lucy looked up, eyes huge and wide with panic. There was a tall silhouette coming down the aisle towards her. She could barely see. The only light was the lamp she'd had on to read by, and she was well outside the small glow it cast. In the dark, she scuttled across to the other counter and dived behind it. She couldn't see him, but she saw his shadow block out the light and heard his footsteps stop between the two counters. Lucy's heart was pounding so hard he must be able to hear it. There was a jangle as he scooped her keys off the floor. "Hey, Calla! Catch!" Lucy heard her keys thud into someone's palm.

"She's got a lot of gold keys," the girl observed. "They're the good ones, right?"

"Didn't do her much good, am I right?" the smaller boy asked.

"Shut up, Hyllis," Calla said.

Lucy fumbled with one of her boots.

"Hey, when you find her, you should make her strip off and dance," the smaller boy suggested.

"Shut up, Hyllis," the other two said simultaneously.

The boot came off. Lucy grabbed it with both hands and flung it away from her. It hit the other counter with a crash. Devin spun towards the noise, firing off a dozen needlelike bolts of light from each hand. Lucy shrieked but it was lost in the sound of splintering wood.

"Did you get her?" the girl asked.

"I don't know, I'm looking," Devin said. He crouched down and started rooting through the mess of broken cabinets. Lucy slid out from her hiding place while his back was turned and looked around wildly. Calla was at the far end, watching Devin. Hyllis was squatting down in the central aisle investigating the bottom shelves. Lucy hesitated. She didn't know if it was safe to run. She thought she could see Devin straightening up – Lucy bolted, racing away from the counter across the open expanse and throwing herself underneath the closest rack of shelving. She sprawled on the floor in the dust, waiting for one of them to shout out.

Devin swore and threw something across the room. Lucy flinched and tried to make herself smaller. "The bitch tricked me!"

"There's a familiar refrain," Calla snorted.

Devin turned. He was coming back towards her! Lucy scrambled on hands and knees to the edge of the shelving and hauled herself up onto the bottom shelf. She whisked her legs out of sight just as Devin crouched and threw two bolts of purple light under the shelving. There was a boom as they hit the far wall. Wood cracked. Lucy covered her mouth with both hands to stifle a shriek and closed her eyes. Spots danced behind her eyelids. She wanted to scream and flail. Devin swore. Calla laughed.

"Oh, screw you," Devin snapped.

Was he going to come down the side and find her? Could she move again? How long could she keep scuttling around before they caught her? She couldn't hide forever. She couldn't get out of the shop, either, she couldn't reach the doorhandles. She'd lost her keys. She had her whip, but what good could that do? It was hopeless. She was completely trapped. She was trapped like a rat, like a caged animal, like a ...

...like a holder-type mage in a magic store? Armed like a holder-type mage in a magic store.

Wasn't she armed? Weren't there weapons all around her? There had to be something she could use. She uncurled, reached out with both trembling hands and pulled the nearest thing towards her, into the dim glow of the streetlamps through the front window. It was a Colour-S compact.

Lucy nearly screamed with frustration. There was nothing she could do with this!

Glass shattered. Lucy ducked back down instantly, as if it had been thrown at her.

"Silver keys are still worth something, right?" Calla asked.

"Yeah," Devin said. "Don't get picky. just because they won't fetch so much as the bimbo's gold ones."

They were going to sell her keys?

Bimbo?

Hot anger flooded through her. Were these really Phantom Lord mages? Her own guildmates? She hissed between her teeth. She wouldn't let them sell her Celestial Spirits! Lucy uncoiled and turned her face back to the Colour-S compact. There had to be something she could do with it. She hauled the compact open and changed the colour of her clothes and hair to dark grey so only the paler outlines of her limbs showed up against the shadows. It would be better camouflage. It would help.

She tried to clear her mind of the panic and think. Calla had just smashed the cabinet where the gate keys were kept. That meant she was near the front of the shop, on the opposite side. Devin was stomping up and down the central aisle, kicking things off the shelves. "Hyllis, are you even looking for her?" Where was Hyllis, anyway? Was he still in the centre aisle?

"I'm looking!" Hyllis protested, barely ten feet away from her. Lucy jolted like she'd been He was at the end of her aisle, barely ten feet away. He hadn't been talking and she'd completely lost track of him!

She needed to find a weapon. What had she seen earlier, when she was looking around? Explosive lacrima? She didn't really want to blow up the shop, but they were only small. They had been on the far side, where Calla was.

Lucy unclasped her whip from her belt and tied it into a tight knot. When she peeked out again, Hyllis was grumbling under his breath and rooting through a bottom shelf less than six feet away. Lucy waited. She couldn't move unless he was looking away. It's just like playing statues, she told herself. If they see you moving then you lose the game.

Hyllis shoved a pile of canned whirlwinds to the floor with an irritated grunt. "This stuff's crap! It's just normal junk, nobody'd pay enough for-"

"Shut up, Hyllis," Devin ordered.

Calla snorted. "What are you, stupid? There's valuable stuff in here, you just aren't finding it." Lucy tried to work out exactly where she was by the sound of her voice. By the cabinets, at the front of the shop? Hyllis straightened up until he could see them both and said heatedly, "I'm looking just as hard as either of you two! If I'm not finding anything-"

Lucy had to move, but she was imagining a hand descending from above, snatching her up and crushing her like an insect as soon as she left her hiding place. This was stupid, she was only scaring herself. She took a deep breath, held it, and then slid off the edge of the shelf and dived back under the shelving.

Hyllis didn't stop talking. He hadn't seen her.

"Oh, shut up," Devin groaned.

"Hyllis, if you don't shut your mouth and get back to work I'm not letting you help out any more," Calla snapped. Hyllis subsided into resentful silence. "Devin, have you found the trash yet? I'm not having her getting away and calling the Rune Knights."

"I'm looking," Devin snapped, and punctuated it by kicking a box of Light Pens which cascaded onto the floor. Lucy inched up to the edge of the shelving, weighed her whip in her hand and flung it away. It skipped and skidded along the floor and thudded against one of the support posts at the far end. Devin whipped about and flung a glowing bolt towards the sound. The light washed out Lucy's vision. She burst out of cover and raced blindly across the open floor towards the other set of shelving. Her heart hammered and the floor seemed like a vast plain opening up all around her, but Devin's own footfalls covered the sound of hers. Lucy slid into the cover of the other shelf like she was sliding into home base and lay still, breathing hard.

Devin swore. Lucy scrambled further under the shelf.

"I missed her again!"

Calla blew out an exasperated breath and turned around. Lucy lay still and watched her boot tap on the floor. "Hyllis, cancel the spell. You're just making her harder to find."

"I can't, I dunno where she is."

Devin snorted.

"Useless," Calla said. "Devin, take my bag. We'll swap."

"What?"

"You're obviously terrible at this. I'll find her."

"Push off, papermage, I can do it," Devin snapped. "I'm going to find her, and then I'm going to tread on her until her insides spew out of her mouth!"

Lucy pulled a disgusted face. Calla turned back to the cabinets without a word. Lucy would have guessed that she was rolling her eyes, though.

Which shelf had those little explosive lacrima been on? She inched down until she thought she was in the right place and slid out quickly while Calla wasn't looking and hauled herself onto a bottom shelf. Nobody saw her. Lucy took a quick look around the shelf and nearly groaned. She'd picked the wrong spot! She was on the shelf with the magical cards. They'd be the same size as she was now! She couldn't use-

Lucy took a deep breath, slit a packet open with her thumbnail and pulled out the top two cards. She shifted to illuminate them in the glow from the street, keeping a wary eye on Calla and ready to freeze if she turned suddenly. Two Light Flashes. Ugh, she was so unlucky!

Lucy crushed that thought. Fine. She could use these.

Calla was inspecting the swords. "How am I supposed to carry these?" she asked. Devin grunted. Lucy crouched as near to the edge of the shelf as she dared, tucked one card under her arm and slowly, carefully slid the other one closer to Calla. She didn't make a sound. Calla turned around anyway.

"Do you think-" She saw Lucy. "Shit! She's right there!" Suddenly there was a sheaf of paper in her hand, and it was unfurling into – Lucy didn't wait to find out. She turned her face away and activated the card. The light flashed red through her eyelids, searing afterimages onto her retina. Calla cried out, the paper falling from her hands. Devin barked out a curse. Lucy moved fast. She raced down the aisle, giving Calla a ringing slap on the calf as she shot past. Calla swore and came after her, stumbling, half-blind. At the top of the aisle, just as one of Calla's boots thudded to thr ground barely inches away from her, Lucy whirled and knocked a stack of cans into the aisle. They fell and clattered and rebounded off each other with a noise like thunder.

Devin spun towards the noise and fired without looking.

Lucy had already thrown herself back under the shelves. One of the bolts hit Calla in the shoulder. The other went straight through her midsection.

Devin screamed. "Calla! No!"

Calla stumbled, eyes wide with surprise, and then crumpled. Devin caught her as she fell and they both went sprawling on the floor. Keys scattered from Calla's open bag. Lucy dived out from under the shelving and grabbed the closest one.

"I am one who opens the path to the celestial sphere! Heed my call and pass through the Gate!" This had to be the fastest she'd ever spoken the incantation; she stumbled over the words but she could still feel the channel opening as the celestial world drew on her magic. "Open! Gate of the Serpent!"

Golden light burst from nowhere and coalesced into a long slender snake. Serpens hissed, drew up its coils and raised its head, ready to strike.

"Can we make a contract later?" Lucy shouted, and pointed at Devin. "Stop him!"

Serpens obeyed instantly. Devin twisted away and threw his arms out wide, trying to shield Calla with his own body. Serpens's jaws closed on his throat. Devin jerked and fell backwards, away from Calla. She was ice-white, and not moving. Devin was still struggling, but only weakly. Serpens let him go and writhed around to face Lucy. At the far end of the shop, Hyllis let out a panicked squawk. He was using his magic. Serpens was already shrinking until it was barely as thick as a pencil. Lucy scooped the snake spirit up, tossed it around her shoulders and ran back towards the door. She still had the second Light Flash card. It dragged along the floor behind her as she ran.

Hyllis was pressed flat up against the door, fumbling to find the handle without turning his back on the room. Lucy skidded to a stop just within the shelter of the shelves. Serpens uncoiled from around her shoulders. She thought it had worked out what she was going to do. Lucy closed her eyes and activated the card. The light flash seared the insides of her eyelids, and Hyllis staggered, hands going to his eyes. Serpens sank its teeth into his leg. Hyllis screamed and staggered, clutching at his leg, and fell. He hit the floor with a crash. The shrinking spells broke. Lucy straightened up, and then up again and further up until she could see over the tops of the shelves again.

"We did it!" Lucy squealed, and held out a palm for a high five. Serpens didn't oblige. After a few moments, Lucy remembered that snakes didn't have hands. So, instead, she retrieved her keys from Calla's bag and couldn't resist twirling them smugly around one finger as she stood over her fallen enemies. Then, because they were bleeding quite a lot, she called the emergency services.

A medic arrived within a few minutes, a squad of soldiers trailing after him. He looked at the three mages crumpled on the ground and groaned. "You could have mentioned there were so many of them..."

"I'm sorry," Lucy said, leant forward a little and glanced up at him through her eyelashes. He looked at her oddly.

"Have you got something in your eye?"

"...no," Lucy said, and let him get back to mending the hole in Calla's stomach with what looked like a staple gun. On closer inspection, it was a staple gun. The soldiers loitered, trying to look menacing. The healer tried to grill her on the effects of Serpens's venom. Lucy stared at him blankly, twiddled with her hair and said "I don't... really... know?"

The healer sighed. Lucy suspected that he wasn't impressed.

Once those three had all been stapled up, stuck with needles and carried out, the healer came back and sidled up to Lucy. "Hey," he said, with a wary glance towards the door. "You know that the Iron Dragon was on the roof, right?"

Lucy blinked, imagining a dragon with shiny metal scales perched atop the building, and then the image flickered and resolved into Gajeel. She yelped and clutched at the medic's shirt. "What's he doing there?"

"I don't know!" the medic protested.

"Is he still there? Did he leave?"

"Yeah, he left!"

"But what was he doing there?"

"I just said I don't know!"

Lucy let go of the medic and tumbled backwards onto the floor with a wail. What was going on? Gajeel wasn't the sort to let those three soften her up. Did he think it would be fun to watch her get her ass kicked? But then wouldn't he just do it himself? Lucy clutched at her hair and wailed "It doesn't make any sense!" He was crazy. Everyone was crazy.

"You're crazy!" the medic said, and left in a rush.

"Uwaaah," Lucy groaned, and sat up. Serpens coiled slowly across her lap. "What am I going to do?" she asked it. Serpens didn't have a reply. Lucy stroked its back carefully with the tips of her fingers while she thought. The snake spirit wasn't slimy, just cool and dry. She could get to like it. Him. He was six or seven feet long, she guessed, about as thick around as her upper arm, and mottled in red and brown and all shades of ochre.

"All right," she said. "Do you mind Mondays?"

When the shopkeeper came back in the morning, he wasn't pleased. Lucy didn't think that was fair. People had broken in and she'd stopped them; she'd done her job! She'd even cleaned up afterwards! (Even if it was mostly to hide the things she'd taken besides Serpens).

So... it wasn't that she'd meant to be threatening, she hadn't intended to intimidate; it was just that she was tired and he was shouting and all she did was beckon Serpens over. He wound up her leg and around her waist, and the shopkeeper blanched and backed away. It was so easy.

He still didn't pay her, but he stopped making a fuss about her taking Serpens, and it said J40,000 on the tag on his key, so in one sense she'd doubled her pay, hadn't she? On the other hand, Lucy thought as she gave up the last of her money for a breakfast roll on the way home, Serpens couldn't be exchanged for goods and/or services.

Friends were more important than money, though! If that wasn't true she'd never have left home to begin with.

She devoured the roll as she climbed the stairs to her flat, fell into bed and slept for nearly the rest of the day. When she woke up, with the late afternoon sun slanting across her ceiling, she stared up at the light for a long time before she finally groaned and hauled herself out of bed. She didn't want to go into the guild, but what else was she supposed to do?

When she pushed the big front doors open and stepped inside, a wary hand on her keys, heads turned. Glances flicked over her from head to toe. Lucy looked behind her to see if she was in the way of someone more impressive. She wasn't. A piercing whistle rang out. Lucy glanced around, without letting go of her keys. Sue was sitting cross-legged on one of the tables, a paper bag of doughnuts in her lap and two fingers in her mouth. She waved. "Hey! Page Three! Over here!"

Bozo was sitting at the same table as Sue, reading the paper, but when Sue called out he lowered it and glanced at Lucy over his glasses. Gajeel wasn't around. Lucy went over to them, mentally preparing her defense. They'd started it, she'd only been defending herself, she'd even called a healer for them -

"Good job!" Sue said, and saluted her with a doughnut. "I thought they'd do you for sure!"

"What?" Lucy said, astonished. "You knew they were going to jump me?"

"Well, yeah!" Sue said. "Once word got out a newbie'd taken a job like that..." She shrugged. "What else was going to happen?"

"Did Gajeel tell you I beat them?"

"No," Sue said. "We heard from Ryos." She indicated the dark-haired twelve-year-old sitting to her right. Lucy'd been wondering what he was doing there.

Ryos looked up with an expression of total panic and said "I didn't hear from Gajeel!"

There was a brief silence.

Sue sighed. "Don't look so scared, we won't tell him you're a terrible liar...Ryos, baby, I love you, but I seriously have no idea why Gajeel hasn't already murdered you. Is that your magic? Are you a dragonslayer slayer?"

Ryos thought about it, and then shook his head.

Sue popped the last chunk of doughnut into her mouth and added to Lucy, spraying crumbs everywhere, "It's cool you took down Calla and Devin, though! And Calla's brother, I dunno what he's called. We heard you put them in the hospital?"

"She did," Ryos confirmed. Sue clapped.

"What'll happen to them now?" Lucy asked. "I mean, they won't be in the hospital long."

"I guess they'll get demoted?" Sue licked sugar off her fingers. "Master Jose likes demoting people. Makes them work harder to get back up and scares the rest."

"That's it?" Lucy said, aghast.

"Yeah! What were you expecting?" Sue shot her a funny look. "Master Jose's not here to sort out your squabbles for you – if you've still got a problem with them, deal with it yourself!"

"It's most likely that they'll come after her themselves once they've recovered," Bozo pointed out. "Going down to a newbie in a three-on-one fight? If they let that stand they'll practically be laughed out of the guild."

"I know that! I wasn't going to completely spoon-feed her, I'm not having people thinking I'm soft," Sue said.

Lucy's head was spinning. "Are... are all guilds like this?"

"Oh, princess," Sue said, and laughed. Even Ryos was looking at Lucy as if she was an idiot. Bozo laid down his paper.

"You really are new to this, aren't you? All the guilds that're worth anything, yeah." He glanced at Sue. "Think she got dropped on her head as a baby?"

"Repeatedly bounced head-first off a wall sounds more like it," Sue said.

"I won't guarantee that you'll survive, though," Gajeel had said. "Weaklings don't." So this was what he meant?

Lucy stared around the guild hall. There were dozens of mages sat at the long tables. She didn't know which of them were dangerous, or which of them would try to take her out just for the sake of beating her. Any one of them could be an enemy.

There was no way she was good enough for this.


	3. Making Friends is Hard

"-I seriously don't see how I can keep her alive," Lucy said, frowning at Cancer in the mirror.

"Hmm," Cancer said. He was pretty much done cutting her hair. He had been pretty much done cutting her hair for half an hour now.

"But the only reason I want to keep her alive is because I like her!" Lucy said. "And don't you have to kill people sometimes? Otherwise nobody'll take you seriously!" She sighed and slid down further in her chair. "Killing people is hard... characters. I mean, killing characters is hard."

"...mmm," Cancer agreed, with a faint air of desperation. Cancer didn't know much about literature. He was good at cutting hair, arranging flowers and ice hockey. Unfortunately, they had long since exhausted all topics of conversation relating to hair, flowers or ice hockey.

Lucy twiddled a few strands of her hair around her fingers. She'd only had Cancer take a few inches off, anyway, so it didn't look any different. She missed the cute little pigtail on top of her head, but it would just have looked weird once she put her hat on. Lucy thought she already looked weird enough wearing dark pants and a short purple shirt that knotted under her breasts to bare her midriff and guild mark. She _felt_ weird. Her midriff was cute, but what about her legs? Her legs were two of her best features! She sighed heavily and leant forward to rest her elbows on the table.

"Mistress?" Cancer asked.

"I ought to get to the guild," Lucy said. Lately, sometimes she didn't dismiss her spirits until she absolutely couldn't keep them around, but today she didn't want to be left alone if she needed Cancer. He didn't mind, so Lucy said goodbye and closed his gate. Then she summoned Serpens, wound him around her waist and shoulders, put her hat on and then headed for the guild. Outside the doors, she paused for a moment. She set her mouth into a hard line, schooled her expression into cold confidence and stepped inside.

Right at that moment, something hit the wall over her head. Lucy yelped and dived backwards. Serpens hissed and tightened his coils around her waist. Everyone burst out laughing. Oh God, were they laughing at her? The thing that had smashed into the wall had hit it feet-first; it sprang off the wall, twisted nearly a hundred and eighty degrees to land on its feet and staggered. It was a giant leopard.

What?

Lucy raised a hand to Serpens's reassuring weight around her neck and lifted her gaze. The rest of Phantom Lord had gathered around the walls, to leave an open space for fighting in. In the chaos it took Lucy a moment to figure out what was going on. Two young men were fighting a witchy-looking girl with a staff and a monster. The monster looked like something stitched together out of other animals – a wolf's body, the wings and skinny legs of an eagle and a snake's lashing tail. The young man it was trying to maul was stripped to the waist to bare rough grey skin like a rhino's hide. The wolf-creature's claws skidded off the mage's skin with a noise like nails on a chalkboard, and when it screamed with frustration it sounded like a human in pain. The girl wasn't faring so well. The mage she was facing was small and skinny and half transformed into an ant. Antennae sprouted out of his shaggy brown hair and his eyes had distorted into vast glassy black orbs. His arms had developed another joint and hung nearly to the floor. Below the waist his entire body had transformed into an ant's. He looked like a bug centaur.

"Ew," Lucy said.

The witchy-looking girl was swinging her staff at the insect mage's six legs, but he was still driving her back. "Flauros!" she shouted. The leopard shook itself and tore across the hall towards her. The insect mage turned to meet it.

"I'll just throw it into the wall again!" he yelled. "As many times as it takes! In this form, I have the strength of an ant!"

"...Proportional strength of an ant, dude," his partner called. The insect mage ignored that. He reached out to grab hold of the leopard again as it flashed past him, but it was far too quick. Its tail whipped through his fingers and then quite suddenly it was on his back. The insect mage yelled and reached back. His fingers raked uselessly through the leopard's fur. He whirled about, trying to dislodge it. The leopard hissed, dug its claws in and hunkered down.

"Flauros! Just torch the sod!" the witch girl shouted.

"Bad idea," a green-haired boy with headphones called from the sidelines. The leopard opened its mouth wide, baring a pink tongue and massive fangs.

The insect mage had twisted his head back almost all the way around to see what the leopard was doing. He swore and barked "Insect Soul: Spider!" His body shimmered and shifted. His neck vanished as his head and torso fused together. His legs cracked and popped as they rearranged themselves. "Ew!" Lucy squeaked. The leopard tried to hang on, but as the insect mage's form distorted it was thrown off and sent skidding across the floor. The giant spider skittered away, and Phantom Lord mages scattered to right and left as it began to climb the wall.

Flauros raced to the bottom of the wall, reared up to put its front paws on the stone and roared up at it. The spider was already twenty feet above and climbing higher. The witch girl snarled between her teeth, hefted her staff and flung it like a spear.

The staff struck the insect-mage square in the back of the thorax. He convulsed and fell off the wall. Lucy winced, but the mage twisted as he fell and managed to land on his feet. He skittered across the hall towards the witch girl. She was between the spider and Flauros. She spun and raced back towards the leopard. The spider was hot on her heels, but the witch girl dropped to the ground and skidded across the floor to Flauros's feet. Flauros reared up and landed with both front paws on her back. His mouth yawned open. Lucy just had time to see the pilot light glowing deep in its throat before flames spewed out of its mouth.

The witch girl retrieved her staff and slung it casually across her shoulder. She turned to the armoured-skin mage and the wolf-monster. Smoke hung heavy in the air. The wolf monster was gnawing on the mage's neck, its snake tail lashing wildly as its teeth scraped over his skin without leaving a mark. The armoured-skin mage was trying to get up. The wolf-creature whacked him with a paw. He continued getting up. The wolf-creature headbutted him so hard it staggered. The armoured-skin mage was on his knees now. The wolf creature tackled him to the ground and then sprawled flat on top of him while the armoured-skin mage wheezed under its weight.

"Aww," Lucy said. "It's trying."

"Marchosias, out the way," the witch girl ordered. The wolf creature hauled itself off the armoured-skin mage and stomped aside. He sat up.

"Good defense, low offense?" the witch girl asked conversationally. "Your friend's down for the count, by the way."

The armoured-skin mage sighed, raised his hands and said "Okay, I give up."

"Phantom Lord does not accept your surrender," the witch girl drawled. "Flauros!"

Lucy turned her face away. She heard a shriek, and the roar and the crackle of flames, and saw her shadow thrown stark and black against the wall in the firelight. He must have been new. There was a round of desultory applause. Lucy looked around and spotted Sue – it wasn't hard, since she was one of the few people still sitting at a table. She was reading the paper. Lucy went to join her. As she sat down, Serpens rearranged his coils with a sandpapery rasp and subsided back into somnolence. Lucy stroked his head and asked, "What did they do?"

Sue glanced up. She had a biro behind her ear and her tongue was sticking out of the corner of her mouth. "What did who do?" On one of the paper's crumpled pages Lucy could just see part of a headline: -RY TAIL MAGE DESTROYS -

"The guys that girl was fighting?"

"Eh? No idea. Probably nothing. She's a bit touchy," Sue said. She noticed Lucy looking at the paper. "Do you want a look? I'm stuck on eight down anyway." She passed it over and Lucy refolded it until the article on Fairy Tail was on top.

FAIRY TAIL MAGE DESTROYS DUKE EVERLUE'S HOUSE, BOOK

On Tuesday afternoon Fairy Tail mage Natsu 'Salamander' Dragneel, age unknown, broke into the home of Duke Everlue, lord of Shirotsume Town, and destroyed one of the books in his library. This was allegedly the result of a request made to his guild rather than sheer impulse. Following the immolation of the volume, two guards and a maid in Duke Everlue's service attempted to prevent Dragneel from leaving, and in the subsequent commotion a large part of the house was destroyed. Neither the book nor the clients who placed the request have been identified. The damage has been estimated as in excess of J300,000,000.

Sources within His Majesty's Revenue Office say that preliminary analysis of the wreckage produced evidence of tax evasion and involvement in smuggling. Duke Everlue has stated that he will not be pressing charges and that the investigation may be halted.

The investigations are continuing.

Lucy nearly giggled. Honestly, that pink-haired kid?

Sue leant forward to read the article upside-down. "What do you think?"

"Idiots," Lucy said, and handed it back.

"Susannah!" someone called out. The witch girl was standing over them, with the green-haired boy who'd been yelling from the sidelines just behind her.

"Lee!" Sue greeted her, with a smile. Lee looked her up and down disdainfully.

"Ugh - considering you're a mirror mage, couldn't you take a look in one after you get dressed?"

"You're so catty in the mornings," Sue said, and laughed. "Your freckles look cute today!"

Lee bristled, and Sue quickly changed the subject before she could launch another missile. "You haven't met Lucy yet, have you? New girl." She jabbed her biro at Lucy. "Lucy Ashley, these are Lee Annur Maudley and Rossa Bilkowitz. They're both summoners as well, you might get on if you can overlook Lee Annur's personality."

"I'm not a summoner. It's requip magic," Rossa said.

Lucy looked them over warily. Lee Annur was a tall girl, a year or so older than Lucy herself, with long black hair and nearly-white skin that emphasised the smattering of freckles across her nose. Her smart black pinafore dress, shiny boots and purple blouse with long sleeves and neat little mother-of-pearl buttons at the cuffs made her look as if she had only wandered into the guild by accident, and didn't appreciate finding herself surrounded by all these scruffy thugs. Her lacquered violet nails tapped against the dark wood of the staff she carried.

Rossa was shorter and skinnier, with tousled green hair and a round face that made him look like a kid. Lucy could hear rock music thudding out of his headphones, but other than that there was nothing about him that really attracted attention. Even his dark pants and dull red shirt were the exact same outfit that Bozo and half the other guild members were wearing, minus the fur-trimmed jacket. Maybe he was going out of his way to look unobtrusive and let Lee Annur get all the attention. Or maybe it wasn't significant at all? Just about everybody in Phantom wore the same clothes. Lucy'd even asked Sue about it a few days earlier.

"Oh, they sell those in the guild shop," Sue'd said vaguely. "They're cheap, so most people buy them."

Lucy'd looked around the hall. All the men were wearing either Bozo's jacket outfit, or Hyllis's pale blue high-collared shirt, or a tight shirt with gems around the collar. "Doesn't it get boring?"

Sue looked around as if that hadn't really occurred to her before. "Wow, you ask weird questions. It's just to fit in. What's wrong with that?" She pushed her jester hat back a little off her forehead.

"Nothing," Lucy said, and paid a visit to the guild shop after she was done eating. They hadn't had any girls' clothes for sale, so she'd bought a green jester hat like Sue's instead. She wanted to fit in, didn't she?

While Lucy had been sizing the other two mages up, they'd been doing the same to her. Lee Annur examined Serpens, who was still mostly wound around Lucy, and asked, "Is that one of your summons, or just a pet?"

"Oh, he's one of my spirits!" Lucy said. "This is Serpens. I only got him about a week ago."

"Oh, stellar spirits," Lee Annur said. She sounded a little dismissive. "How many units have you got all together, then?"

"Seven. Four silver, three gold," Lucy said. Lee Annur's eyes went a little wide. Ha! Dismiss that!

"Three gold keys? You're joking, right?"

"Maybe they're silver keys she spray-painted," Sue said. In answer, Lucy held up her keyring and turned it so the gold keys reflected the sunlight.

"Impressive," Lee Annur said. Wait. Was that good or bad? Should Lucy not have mentioned her gold keys? Should she have kept that back so they wouldn't know everything she could call on? Sue was looking at her like she thought she was giving away too much information. Aaaah! "Where'd you get those?"

Lucy at least wasn't silly enough to say 'inherited' or 'bought him with my pocket money'. Instead she just grinned and said "From other people. How about you?" Lee Annur didn't have a keyring, only a staff of twisted black wood, with half a dozen charms that looked like they were made of bone hanging from a ring at the top. Lucy didn't know anything that was summoned through bone charms.

"I summon demons. I've got six units so far," Lee Annur said.

"Demons?!" Lucy squeaked. Sue laughed.

"Why does everyone always do that?" Lee Annur asked the ceiling.

"You love it. Don't lie," Rossa said, and added to Lucy, "Goetian demons, to be precise. Not the things Zeref made, or chthonians, because she isn't insane, and not the hybrid race, because they're not particularly useful... Demonology is an inexact science."

"How does it work?" Lucy asked.

Lee Annur grinned. "You think I tell everyone my secrets?" She flicked one of the bone charms with a fingertip. "Hey, Rossa and I were about to head out on a mission. Do you want to come?"

Lucy blinked. "Really?"

"No, stupid, I was asking for a joke. Yeah, really," Lee Annur said.

Lucy thought about it and twiddled with her keys. They might be planning to jump her, but-

"What are you planning?"

"You know the dark guild Eisenwald?" Lucy didn't, but she nodded anyway. "Well, we don't know what they're up to, and we don't especially care," Lee Annur said briskly, as Rossa produced a mission poster, "but there's been some sort of schism and the losers are making pests of themselves. A squad came into our territory between Araucaria Town and Myrsine Village about a week ago. A team from Fifteenth tried to stop them and got pummelled, naturally, but I expect we can do better." She jabbed the mission poster, which showed four indistinct silhouettes. "Four of them, standard one hundred thousand bounty for grunts, so about one hundred and thirty-three thousand for each of us. Are you in?"

Lucy knew she might end up regretting it, but they would need another person if they were going after a group of four, weren't they? She could always run for it if they turned on her.

"I'm in!" she said.

* * *

"They're using some sort of concealment spell, but that's exactly what we want them to do," Lee Annur had told them smugly outside, and slammed the foot of her staff against the ground. "I charge thee, Purson, by pact sworn and blood spilt; arise!" There was the flash of a magic circle opening, and a blast of smoke and hot, sulphur-smelling air that blew Lucy's hair around her face.

"You don't have to be all dramatic about it just because there's another summoner here," Rossa said, unimpressed. Lee Annur blew a raspberry at him.

When the smoke cleared, it revealed a hunched figure with the head of a lion and a coat of coarse yellow fur under its ragged tunic. When the demon roared, its mouth yawned open as if its jaw was unhinging and the noise reverberated through Lucy's bones. She quailed. "Purson specialises in finding things that are hidden," Lee Annur said. "Now all we have to do is follow him!"

They caught up with the Eisenwalders late in the afternoon, in a broad dry canyon of dusty yellow stone. Lee Annur had summoned a demon called Decarabia that looked like a massive bird made of steel and brass and taken to the sky on its back. She and Decarabia were wheeling overhead now, in a tight circle. Rossa and Lucy had been cruising slowly down the canyon on Rossa's SE-plug moped, but they stopped as soon as Lucy reported what Lee Annur was doing. They dismounted, propped the moped against the canyon wall and crept down to take a look.

The four criminal mages were sitting around a campfire. Lucy and Rossa peered out at them from the shelter of a rocky overhang. They were all men. One, with shaggy white hair and a massive sword slung across his back, was making emphatic hand gestures as he spoke and the others were watching him. Another had spiky purple hair and a goatee; he was poking at the fire with a stick while he listened. The third threw up his hands and sprawled back on the ground as Lucy watched him; he looked like the youngest, unless he was just shorter than the other three, and wore a tank top and khaki combat pants. The last man wore baggy clothes and a green scarf tied across his face, so that his eyes and forehead were the only skin exposed. There was a weapon like a mace head on a long chain wound around his waist.

"Should we wait to see what-" Lucy started, but Lee Annur swooped straight in, shouting.

"Marchosias, arise!"

There was another blast of smoke and Lucy couldn't see what was happening, but when it cleared Decarabia was fighting its way back into the sky and Lee Annur was on her feet with Marchosias standing in front of her.

The white-haired Eisenwalder was the first to react. He leapt to his feet, drawing his sword as he did. The blade was strangely orange, and it smoked. Rossa took off towards them at a sprint, and after a moment of hesitation Lucy followed, fumbling for her keys as she ran. "Open! Gate of the Bull!"

There was a flash of light as Taurus appeared. "Miss Lucy! Your body looks-"

He didn't get the chance to finish. Lucy saw a shadow pass overhead, and then Taurus snatched her up and yanked her out of the way just as one of Decarabia's wings sliced through the space where she had been standing. Lucy gasped, but it was drowned in the crash as Decarabia ploughed into the cliff face. The Eisenwalder in the tank top had been lying almost directly underneath; he shrieked and barely got out of the way before the massive bird demon collapsed to the ground. Hot sparks and cinders from the campfire went flying. Lee Annur cried out in surprise. "Decarabia! What the hell?"

"Lee Annur! Banish it!" Rossa shouted. Lee Annur couldn't, or didn't have time as Chain Hammer whirled his mace around his head and lashed out at her. Lee Annur ducked behind Decarabia's outspread wings, and the demon took the force of the blows. Metal plates cratered. Gears shrieked. Decarabia vanished back to the demonic realms in a puff of sulphurous smoke, leaving Lee Annur unshielded, but she was already summoning another demon.

"Flauros! Arise!"

The Eisenwalder in the tank top had a sword as well, but it had been trapped under Decarabia. He snatched it up and dived away as Flauros opened his mouth and blasted fire at him. The light left brilliant green afterimages in Lucy's eyes. Rossa had called up a golem made from the skeleton of a gorilla, or a forest troll, or any massive creature with arms that reached nearly to the ground. Lucy caught glimpses of the There was so much happening that Lucy could barely follow it. She didn't know what to do! What could she do?

"Taurus!" she screamed. "Take out the one with the white hair!" He'd been talking and they'd all been listening; he had to be the leader, right? Taurus dropped Lucy, hefted his axe and charged at the swordsmage. Halfway there, his axe jerked to one side and dragged him off his feet. Lucy was hurriedly uncoiling her whip, but she goggled. "Taurus! What's going on?" Decarabia's metal body, Taurus's steel axe – which of the Eisenwalders was a metal mage?

Then the Eisenwalder in the tank top swung a sword at her. It was a heavy, two-handed overhand blow. Lucy shrieked but managed to catch it on her whip, doubled up and held between her two fists. The sword bit leather threads from the edge of her whip, but the enhanced durability enchantments held.

Tank Top bore down, trying to saw through it. Lucy kicked him in the midsection. He staggered back, gasping. At least the metal mage couldn't be him, Lucy thought grimly, uncoiling her whip and cracking it across his shins. He staggered again. It wasn't the swordsmage, either, and the one with the chain hammer was busy with Lee Annur's demon Marchosias. That left – she risked a quick glance up and found that the last one was standing well back, gesturing as Taurus's axe slid over the ground.

"Taurus! It's the one with the goatee!" Lucy screamed over the noise and the clash of metal on bone. Taurus heard, but her moment of inattention cost her. Tank Top slashed at her ribcage and Lucy had to stumble back to avoid the blow. Taurus was struggling to recapture his own axe. "Just punch him!" Lucy yelled. Taurus obeyed. The Eisenwalder with the goatee raised his hands in front of his face in an attempt at defense, but it was futile. Taurus's fist slammed into him like a freight train, throwing him right off his feet and cartwheeling into the canyon wall. Lucy didn't get a chance to congratulate him before Taurus had snatched up his axe again and closed with the swordsmage. Every blow of the Eisenwalder's sword sparked small explosions that flashed like a strobe light in the corner of Lucy's vision, and smoke curled from the shaft of Taurus's axe every time he blocked, but Lucy couldn't help him. Tank Top was driving her back now; he'd got her on the defensive and she couldn't find a chance to attack between warding off his blows. Lee Annur and Rossa were both standing safely out of the way, with Flauros and an ostrich-skeleton golem standing defensively in front of them. It was good that they could field multiple summons at once, but not so much if one of them had to be tied up with protecting-

Then Rossa's troll golem grabbed Tank Top by the leg, swung him overhead and smashed him into the ground. He lay still. Lucy felt very ungrateful.

But only for a moment, because then she heard a whistle overhead and glanced up. The Eisenwalder with the chain hammer was swinging it straight down towards her head. Lucy scrabbled to one side and the hammer head slammed into the ground beside her. The rock cratered. Lucy was showered in dust. She couldn't keep up with this. When had that guy beaten Marchosias?

The Eisenwalder yanked the chain hammer back and spun it about his head so fast it was a blur, preparing for a strike that would shatter bone. Lucy swung her whip back. They both lashed out at the same moment. Lucy's whip tangled in the chain. Lucy was yanked off her feet and dragged across the canyon floor. The rocky ground scraped the skin on her knees and elbows and bare stomach raw. Lucy screamed and let go of the whip. The handle skittered across the ground away from her. Overhead, the solid iron head of the mace glittered as it sliced down towards her. Lucy shrieked again and threw up her hands.

The troll golem saved her. The chain wrapped around its arm and snapped taut. The golem grasped the chain in both hands and began to reel the Eisenwalder in. The Eisenwalder flickered and cut out like a bad connection on a communications lacrima. The chain hammer vanished. "What the hell?" Lucy gasped. It was a duplicate? Where was the real one? She cast a hunted look around. There was still one of them fighting Marchosias, and another one – oh no! - another one was taking a swing at her legs. Lucy shrieked and jumped in the air. The chain hammer whistled by under her feet.

"Miss Lucy!" Taurus dropped his defense and swung his axe wildly at the swordsmage so that the Eisenwalder had to lurch off-balance to parry it. Before the swordsmage could strike at him again Taurus spun about and raced to Lucy's side. When Chain Hammer lashed out again Taurus snatched the chain out of the air. The swordsmage had pursued him, though, and was swinging his sword directly at Taurus's unprotected back. Lucy shouted a warning and threw herself forward as if to put herself between Taurus and the swordsmage, but she needn't have bothered. The troll golem pivoted about and caught the slash on its forearm. The heat and the force of the explosion shivered through the golem's empty bones but didn't harm it.

"Ashley!" Rossa shouted. Lucy only realised after a moment that this was aimed at her, and a reprimand. "Do you mind not playing Enemy Musical Chairs in the middle of a fight?"

The troll golem turned its hands palm up, revealing razor-edged steel claws. The swordsmage took a step back.

Taurus rumbled out a laugh. He was still hanging onto the hammer's chain. Chain Hammer tried to tug it free of his grip, but Taurus was so much bigger and stronger that it was no use. Chain Hammer gripped the chain with both hands and leant back, bracing both feet solidly against the rock floor. Another duplicate, hazy and flickering, stepped out of his body. How many of them could he produce?

What could she do? Lucy fumbled for her keys. "Open! Gate of the Clock!"

Horologium appeared in a flash of light. The strain of summoning two spirits at the same time hit immediately. There was no way she could keep this up for long! There was no point trying this on any of the Chain Hammers when she didn't know which one was the original, but if the troll golem could help - Lucy pointed at the Swordsmage and shouted, "Catch him!"

Horologium moved, sweeping smoothly around the troll golem, and at that exact moment Tank Top stumbled dizzily into the Swordsmage from behind, shoving him away. Tank Top was sucked into Horologium's inner compartment with a pop. Lucy wailed. The Swordsmage fell forwards, into Rossa's golem and the blade of his own sword. The explosion knocked him back off his feet. The golem shook it off. Lucy's wail changed instantly into a whoop of glee. Tank Top was hammering on Horologium's glass panel. He didn't have the space to swing his sword. "Ass! …he says," Horologium reported.

Lucy spun away from that and saw Flauros. Its mouth was open to breathe out fire. It was aiming straight at Horologium! What was Lee Annur doing? Lucy squawked and grabbed for her keys. "Gate of the Clock! Close!"

Horologium vanished. Tank Top dropped back to the ground, scrambled up to his feet. Flauros breathed out a jet of fire. Tank Top jumped. He jumped high, twenty feet or more, easily clearing the fireblast and sailing over Flauros as Lucy gaped up at him. He landed behind Rossa, and brought his sword down hard. Blood sprayed. Rossa fell forwards. His bone golems crumpled to the ground. Lee Annur keened like a demon herself. "Marchosias! Kill him!"

Marchosias shot across the canyon and hit the Eisenwalders in the chest like a cannonball. He was knocked backwards; Marchosias buried its teeth in his neck, shook him like a rag doll and threw him away across the canyon. Lee Annur pelted over to Rossa and dropped to her knees by his side. Flauros was close behind her, ready to leap to her defense. Lucy and Taurus were alone, against the swordsmage, Chain Hammer and his new duplicate.

Taurus reached out with one hand, grabbed Lucy by the wrist and pulled her behind him.

"Flauros!" Lee Annur shouted. "Hose everything!"

Lucy screamed. "Gate of the Bull! Close!" Taurus didn't let the gate close. Lucy hit the ground as Flauros' mouth yawned open impossibly wide. "Taurus! I'll be fine! Go!" She scrambled behind a boulder for cover. Taurus dissolved into starlight. Flauros exhaled the inferno. Lucy pressed herself flat against the rocky floor and screwed her eyes shut. Furnace heat rolled over her, stinging sweat from her palms and forehead. Firelight blazed red through her eyelids. She couldn't breathe. The air burned in her throat. It seemed like an eternity before the demon let up and Lucy could gasp in superheated, smoky air that felt like a drink of cool water. She forced her streaming eyes open. She couldn't make out any of the Eisenwalders. Were they gone? A shadow loomed over her. Lucy couldn't recognise it with her vision blurred by tears, but -

"What the hell were you thinking?" Lee Annur screamed, and kicked her viciously hard in the stomach. Lucy doubled over, wheezing. "Flauros could easily have got him through your stupid clock thing!"

"What?" Lucy protested. Light dawned. Hot fury welled up in her throat. "You mean you were trying to fry Horologium?!"

"They're immortal! Are you completely stupid? That wouldn't have killed it!" Lee Annur brought her staff down across Lucy's back, slamming her into the ground with a choked cry. "Rossa saved your worthless ass and you let him get jumped on!" Lee Annur was screaming at the top of her lungs, so loudly the words must have torn at the lining of her throat. "You don't deserve to be in first division! You don't even deserve to be in this guild!" Lee Annur's face was flushed a hectic red across her cheekbones. She was almost incandescent with rage. Lucy shrank back. "I'm sorry-"

"You're sorry?" Lee Annur repeated incredulously. "I don't care if you're sorry!" She hit Lucy again, spun on her heel and stormed back to Rossa. Lucy uncurled slowly from her protective huddle.

"Get over here," Lee Annur barked, without looking back at her.

Lucy obeyed without daring to say a word. Lee Annur had hauled Rossa to his feet and slung his arm across her shoulders. His head hung down. His headphones were shattered and blood was seeping into his hair. Lucy didn't think he was conscious. Lee Annur gestured sharply for Lucy to get on the moped and then leant Rossa carefully against her back. He shifted, and tried to lift his head. "Annie?" His voice was thin. "My head hurts."

Lee Annur stooped over him, one hand on his shoulder, and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Her voice went soft. "It's all right. Just hang on to this idiot and I'll look after you."

"Stars," Rossa whispered. "Annie, look at the stars, they're... like little birds, on fire..."

"Oh God," Lee Annur said, and straightened up. "If you let him fall I'll kill you," she told Lucy, deadly quiet. "I swear it, I will kill you. And I'll get away with it, because I'll say it was the Eisenwalders. Understood?"

Lucy swallowed. "U-understood..."

Lee Annur snapped her fingers at Marchosias, who padded to her side. She swung up onto his back. If there had been space to take Rossa on Marchosias's back as well, Lucy was sure that Lee Annur would have done that and left her behind.

"Stay close!" Lee Annur ordered, kicked her heels into Marchosias's sides and took off. What followed were some of the worst twenty minutes of Lucy's life. Her palms were sweating so hard she could barely hang onto the handlebars. The moped lurched into every corner, so that Rossa slid about helplessly behind her back, and it sapped off any trace of energy she had left through the SE-plug wristband. When they finally arrived in a small village that Lee Annur said was called Valerian Hill, Lucy was in nearly as bad a state as Rossa.

"Move your ass!" Lee Annur snapped. She hauled Rossa off the back of the moped and half-carried him into a longhouse. Lucy let the moped fall to the ground and tottered after them. It was a Phantom Lord subdivision hall – they had the ubiquitous benches and tables and men drinking, and a flag hung up over the bar. Conversation ground to a halt as they burst in.

"Hey! Who's first division?" Lee Annur raked her gaze over the men. "None of you? Ugh. One of you get me a healer."

The men hesitated.

"Did I stutter?" Lee Annur demanded. "A healer! Now!" Her voice cracked like a whip. Lucy flinched. The subdivisioners looked as if they wanted to kick her ass instead, and only weren't because they didn't rely on their guildmates to have their back. Instead they did as they were told.

The local healer, a short woman with wine-red hair and wearing a smart white tunic, arrived quickly. She directed Lee Annur and Rossa upstairs to a small attic apartment - "This is the division commander's, but he's on a mission at the moment, so who cares?" Lucy followed them, mostly to avoid staying downstairs. Being caught between a crowd of irritated subdivisioners and Lee Annur alight with rage was uncomfortable to say the least.

The healer inspected the wound in Rossa's head – he'd passed out again – and said "There's not much skull damage. The concussion I can fix, but you'll need to keep an eye on him for a couple of hours. The rest just needs stapling back together."

She proceeded to do just that. Lee Annur sat at the foot of the bed. The healer tried to make her get off, but this proved impossible. Lucy stood with her back against the door and quailed under Lee Annur's baleful glare.

Halfway through, Rossa opened his eyes and said "Lee Annur, did you set some little birds on fire? I have this strange feeling that you set some little birds on fire."

"No," Lee Annur said. "Do you want me to? I will if it'll make you feel better!"

"Oh God. No," Rossa said, and shut his eyes firmly. Lee Annur took this as a good sign.

The moment that the healer was done, she packed up, ordered Rossa to stay on the bed for a few more hours, and got the hell out of the Phantom Lord building. Lee Annur flopped down on the bed next to Rossa and said, "So, anyway, we're going to kick seven different kinds of hell out of those pieces of shit. But first we kind of need a better plan."

"You? Plan?" Rossa said. "Who are you and what have you done with my partner?" Lee Annur thumped him on the arm and turned to Lucy. Her voice hardened.

"Are you going to be some use this time? Seriously, I have no idea how you got those keys, but you've clearly got no idea how to use them."

Lucy nodded meekly.

"What happened?" Rossa asked.

"The one who got you? She had him trapped in a clock thing and then let him out because she was worried that Flauros might damage her clock." Lee Annur's voice dripped with scorn.

"Ow," Rossa said, and pulled a face. "Ashley, come on, they're immortal. I'd tear into you harder but I'm guessing Lee Annur did that for both of us." Lucy ducked her head. Rossa switched his attention back to Lee Annur. "So, what do you think?"

"I still don't want to rely on Ashley any more than we have to," Lee Annur said, as if Lucy wasn't even in the room. "Your golems were shaping up well against the one with the explodosword. Flauros and Marchosias did okay."

"What about the other ones?"

"Agares isn't much use unless they run, and Haagenti isn't much use ever except as a meat shield. I don't know if Decarabia'll be functional again by the time we-"

This conversation was making Lucy feel awful. She slipped out of the room and closed the door behind her. She went into the kitchen, sat down and rested her head on the table. She sat like that for a long while. Finally she reached for her keys.

"Open. Gate of the Southern Cross. ...Hi, Grandpa Crux. Would you be able to find something out for me about-" What was it Rossa'd called them? "Goetian demons?"

Grandpa Crux waited a moment for her to explain, but Lucy didn't really want to go into the details. "I can do my best," he said eventually.

"That's great, Grandpa! Agares and Haagenti. What do they do?"

Crux closed its eyes and started scanning. Lucy made herself a cup of tea. It took longer for Grandpa Crux to dig up the information than it did when he was searching for something about the stellar spirit world, nearly fifteen minutes. Finally he opened his eyes again.

"Ah-hmmmm. It seems that Haagenti is a demon of the presidential rank-" Lucy had no idea what that meant. "- and takes the form of either a bull or a man, and he has the power to transform wine into water and vice versa, and so make the drunk sober and the sober drunk. This is a presence effect, however, and targets anyone within fifty or sixty feet. Agares is a type of demon of the ducal rank which generally manifests as a crocodile. They have the ability to make those who stand still run and those who run stand still."

"What?" Lucy scratched at the back of her head. "Demons have really weird magic."

Grandpa Crux had fallen asleep, though. Lucy thought, and then smiled uncertainly and closed Grandpa Crux's gate. She went back to the bedroom, slipped in and closed the door quietly behind her. Lee Annur broke off midsentence and looked up, scowling.

"I had an idea," Lucy said.


	4. Making Friends is Sometimes Not Worth It

"I can't believe you snooped on my demons," Lee Annur grumbled. "Wha – who even does that?"

Rossa caught at her shoulder, stumbled, and papped her on the mouth. "Shush, shush-"

Lee Annur shook him off. "That's just rude," she said. "And I don't like following her plan anyway. You have dumb plans."

"Wait," Lucy said. "I dunno what's going on. Which of us are you talking to now?"

Rossa laughed. Lee Annur glared at him. Rossa laughed harder. "You know what, what... the thing you should do? You should have a mud fight!"

"No," Lee Annur said loftily, and then tripped and had to hang on to Rossa to stay up.

"No!" Lucy protested, more loudly. "What kind of vurp - perf – prevard thinks about that anyway?" She aimed a smack at Rossa, missed, and fell down. "Ow!"

Lee Annur laughed. Rossa helped Lucy up. Ahead of them, Purson padded silently down the road. Its head swung back and forth. Its nostrils flared.

"We should have brought a picnic," Rossa said. "With sandwiches and salad and rolls and hors d'ouevrerere. Ererere. ...I forgot how you stop saying that word."

"Oh God, don't talk about food," Lee Annur groaned.

The three of them were currently stumbling across a field of gorse and heather. They were also all _completely_ hammered. This was a vital element of Plan B. (Plan C, according to Rossa, involved more alcohol, and icecream.)

Purson stopped. It lifted its head, turned to face a little copse of scrubby trees, and growled low in its throat.

"Purson? What is it, boy? What is it? Is Little Timmy in the well again?" Lee Annur asked him. "Well, Little Timmy can go ahead and drown. I'm sick of that kid's dramatics."

Rossa let out a loud snort of laughter, and in answer someone emerged from between the trees. The Swordsmage stared at the three of them, turned, and yelled back into the trees.

"Oh my God! They found us!" Lucy said. "We're in – we're in all the – Rossa, I forgot what we're in."

"Deep shit," Rossa said.

"Wait, I got this," Lee Annur said. She was leaning on her staff to keep her balance. "Arise! Haagenti!"

Sobriety hit them like an ice-water tsunami. Lucy blinked. Lee Annur recovered fastest.

"Forward!" she shouted, and Haagenti charged at the copse of trees. Lucy could see the moment the Eisenwalders were within range of Haagenti's magic; the Swordsmage staggered, and clutched his sword in both hands rather than just one as if it had grown heavier. The blurred arc of Chain Hammer's mace faltered and he had to duck to avoid his own weapon whacking him in the head.

Rossa spread out both hands, palms down. Deep green magical circles opened up under each hand as he called up his two bone golems. The troll golem closed with the Swordsmage, and the ostrich golem lunged for Tank Top as he stumbled out of the trees. His arms and shoulders were swathed in bandages. The ostrich danced around him, its tiny skull darting in to nip at his arms and legs; it did little damage, but with his injuries it was quicker than he was and every time he spun to face it the golem was already behind him.

Lucy gripped Cancer's key tight. "Open! Gate of the Crab!" Cancer appeared, scissors at the ready. "Cancer! Get the one with the chain mace!"

Cancer blurred, and almost instantly the chain of the meteor hammer was in a dozen pieces and the mace head went flying. Chain Hammer spawned a duplicate, though, and then while Cancer was slicing up the second one's weapon he spawned another and another and another until Cancer could barely avoid the whirling balls of iron.

Lucy unclasped her whip from her belt and dived headlong into the fray. Chain Hammer – any of them - favoured vicious overhead blows and swinging their maces in a wide circle around their heads; there was no way Cancer could get close enough for his usual tactic. Lucy struck low. Her whip cracked against the backs of one of the Chain Hammers' legs. He jolted, his knees gave way and he fell. Another one stepped over him and turned to her. His chain mace was a silvery blur. Lucy swung her whip back, ready to strike, and then she was dragged off her feet and thrown face-first into the ground.

Lucy's first thought was that her whip had tangled in one of the chain maces. She let go of the handle and tried to scramble to her feet again. She couldn't; she could only claw helplessly at the ground and dig grooves in the soil with her heels. She was pinned to the dirt by the buckle of her own belt and the keyring that hung on it.

What was going on? Lee Annur was supposed to have taken the metal mage out quickly with Marchosias! Lucy threw her head back and caught a glimpse of Lee Annur. She was standing back with Rossa, guarded by Flauros and smiling wickedly as she watched Lucy struggle. Hot anger twisted in Lucy's belly. She yanked at her belt buckle. It was big and solid, meant to look tough, and she couldn't get it - Lucy screamed and threw herself aside.

The chain mace smashed into the ground behind her, barely a hand's width from her back; it threw up a shower of dirt and the clean green smell of crushed heather. Lucy rolled back over the mace head, trapping it under her body. Chain Hammer tried to jerk it free. Lucy gritted her teeth as the spikes dug into her ribcage and yanked frantically at her belt.

There was a peal of sudden and unexpected laughter from Chain Hammer. "I can't get it out! She's too heavy!"

What?

"Bitch, how much do you _eat_?" Goatee shouted, and dissolved into tipsy giggles.

_What?_

Her belt buckle came free. Lucy snatched up her whip, catapulted back to her feet, and stamped her boot down on the chain of the mace. She was going to kill both of them for that! She swung her whip back and lashed out at Goatee. The Eisenwalder spun away, raising both arms to cover his head, and pulled one of the Chain Hammers into the way by his own chain. The Chain Hammer yelled as his chain tightened around his arms, and again when Lucy's whip cracked against his back once, twice, three times, and went down in a heap. The other Chain Hammers disintegrated.

"Idiot!" the Swordsmage roared. "That was the original!"

"Sorry! They're really hard to keep track of!" Goatee called back, and grinned. He was still wearing the same stupid grin when Cancer took him down, and he fell forward into the heather, minus his goatee and, in fact, all the hair on his head.

Lucy snatched up her keys again. "Great job, Cancer! Close, Gate of the Crab!" Cancer vanished. Lucy flipped the keyring expertly in her hand. "Open, Gate of the Bull!"

Taurus appeared, swinging his axe above his head and bellowing. "Miss Lucy! Nice jugs!" The shout rang out across the vast emptiness of the moor. There was sudden total silence, save for the wind in the heather.

"I don't ask him to say that!" Lucy yelled. "Perverted cow!" She shook her fist at Taurus.

"See, that's why I banned my summons from talking. That exact crap," Lee Annur said to Rossa. Her voice was thick with were never going to take her seriously at this rate! Lucy balled her hands into fists. They'd laugh, they'd say she was useless, she couldn't handle her own spirits. They'd think she was weak, an easy target, an easy victim... why was everything going so _badly?_

Then Tank Top jumped. He shot up into the air as if he was fired from a rocket, leaving the ostrich golem far below. Lee Annur grinned and swung her staff around. "Marchosias, begone! Decarabia, arise!"

Lucy hadn't considered that Lee Annur would summon Decarabia. Wasn't he still injured? He was – but not so badly injured that he couldn't plough straight into Tank Top and knock him out of the sky. They both hit the ground with a crash and skidded, coming to rest at the end of a deep furrow in the earth. Lucy winced. Lee Annur laughed.

"Decarabia, begone! Marchosias, arise!"

The Swordsmage was the only one left now. When he saw his guildmates lying unconscious on the ground, he tried to run, but before he had gone more than a few paces the ostrich golem blocked his path. The Swordsmage swore, swung, and caught it right in the neck. The explosion shattered the ostrich golem's thin vertebrae. Its head went flying.

"Oh, balls," Rossa said.

"Ashley! Are you going to do something?" Lee Annur yelled.

"Taurus!" Lucy shouted. "Grab him!"

Taurus dropped his axe and caught the Swordsmage by both arms so that he couldn't swing his sword. The Eisenwalder spat curses and kicked. Taurus didn't even seem to notice. He lifted his head.

"Miss Lucy?"

Lucy knew exactly what was about to happen. She knew she should reach for her keys and dismiss him.

"Flauros!" Lee Annur shouted. "Blast them!" Taurus looked up in surprise, and then the flames roared over him. Lucy turned away and covered her eyes, though she was too far away to feel the heat.

Taurus burst into starlight and returned to the stellar spirit world. The Swordsmage fell into the heather. His clothes were still smouldering. His skin was black and charred. Smoke curled out of his mouth. Lucy fell backwards, and then just sat there.

"Hi, douchebag!" Rossa greeted him, and then stooped and pressed one hand against the Swordsmage's right arm. The Swordsmage screamed. His back arched and he hit out with his left arm, but Rossa had already stepped back. The arm Rossa had touched lay limply on the ground.

"Turned some of his bones into dust," Rossa said, matter-of-factly. "Just a little extra _fuck you_. If anyone asks that was a vital part of taking them down, all right?" Lee Annur laughed. Rossa went to examine his ostrich. "That's half a dozen vertebrae smashed. You summoners, you've got it easy."

"Serves you right for having a creepy skeleton fetish!" Lee Annur chirped.

"Which is so much worse than having a creepy demon fetish?" Rossa picked up the skull and inspected it for damage. "That's a thousand jewel just for the shipping. Would you be a darling and do something highly illegal so I can turn you in?"

"Babe, it's illegal just to look this good," Lee Annur drawled, mimicking some pop idol.

Lucy sat and stared at the space where Taurus had been, and saw a grassy meadow two years before. Hadn't he sworn that he would always protect her (and her breasts)? Had she really just let him be... Lucy's head spun. She could barely breathe. Her mother would so ashamed if she knew! Lucy clutched at her hair. It wasn't her fault. She couldn't have known what – no, that was just making excuses! She'd known exactly what Lee Annur was planning!

"Hey, Ashley," Rossa said. "Problem?"

Lucy looked up. Lee Annur was watching her, and she was scowling. Lucy lowered her hands. "Sorry," she said, and smiled, the smile she'd mastered years ago for when people told her how fortunate she was to be the daughter of her family. "I'm just a bit tired."

Somewhere in his Requip armoury, Rossa had a coil of rope. He tied up the Eisenwalders. Lucy tried to help, but ended up just tying herself to one of them and then Rossa took the rope away from her. Lee Annur raced back to Valerian Hill Town on Marchosias's back and returned an hour later with a squad of six Rune Knights, who tossed the Eisenwalders unceremoniously in the back of their van. The payment was arranged. Lucy couldn't follow how. The Rune Knights left with the Eisenwalders, and Lucy, Lee Annur and Rossa set out back to Valerian Hill Town. It did have a train station, but trains only came every few hours, and by the time they got back to Oak Town, it was well past sunset. All the streetlamps were lit. The three of them walked out of the train station together. "I'm heading home. I guess I'll see you guys later?" Lucy said.

"Sure. Sleep tight," Rossa said. Lee Annur raised a hand in a lazy farewell, and they both turned uphill towards the guildhall. Lucy stood and watched them go, her smile plastered onto her face, until they were out of sight, and then she sat down hard on the pavement and burst into wracking sobs. Tears streamed down her face. The streetlamps blurred into smears of orange light. Lucy fumbled for her keys and felt through them blindly until she found -

"Open! Gate of the Giant Crab!"

Cancer materialised. Then he just stood there silently, watching her. Was he wary of her? Lucy craned her head back to look up at him. "I screwed up," she said, and hiccuped. At once Cancer crouched down beside her and pulled her into a hug. Lucy clutched at his shirt and sniffled "I'm the worst stellar spirit mage ever," into his shoulders.

"That's an exaggeration, =ebi," Cancer said.

"Tell Taurus I'm sorry," Lucy ordered, scrubbing her arm across her eyes. "I'm really sorry, and I'll never do it again, and, and-" Her voice cracked. "It wasn't fair, I'm sorry, I'll-"

"You screwed up," Cancer said. "Everyone does. Even Mistress Layla did, -ebi." Lucy didn't think her mother had ever got it this wrong, though. "Taurus'll be fine soon."

"I know, but that doesn't make it okay!" Lucy made a helpless gesture. "I shouldn't have listened to her. I don't know why I – I don't know why I even wanted to join a guild!" Gajeel had only invited her for a joke anyway. She knew that. "I'm not... cold enough for this. I don't want to be!" Her voice had risen to a shriek. Cancer patted her ineffectually on the shoulder. Lucy sagged back down. "I should just go home. I can't stay-"

At that Cancer interrupted her sharply. "You weren't happy there before, -ebi. It wouldn't be any different now."

"What else am I supposed to do?" Lucy sniffed and leant against Cancer's side.

"Leave and find another guild?" Cancer sounded doubtful, though.

"Do you think it'd be different?" Sue said all the guilds were the same, and really, why would any of them be any different? Everyone wanted to be the best. "I miss when we were just wandering around." Wasn't being in a guild supposed to be better? Everyone who wasn't in a guild wanted to be. There was no way you could be a proper full-fledged mage if you weren't. There were probably hundreds of people who would love to be where she was. They would probably be much better at it.

Lucy pulled off her hat and wiped her eyes with it. "Can you tell Taurus I'm sorry?"

"He already knows, but sure," Cancer said. "One thing - Aquarius isn't happy."

Lucy blanched. Apologising was never good enough for Aquarius. "I'll... um... never summon her again, then," she said. Cancer agreed that this was the best solution.

What should she do now? Avoid Lee Annur and Rossa forever? "I'd better get back to the guild," Lucy said. "I think I need to talk to someone." That wasn't going to be any fun. And she looked like a mess, her hair was sticking up all over the place. She tried to smooth it into shape with her fingers. Cancer looked actually physically pained by this, so she let him take over and sat there mutely while he ran a comb through her hair, settled her hat at the cutest possible angle (he used a protractor), stepped back and inspected his handiwork.

"Looks good, -ebi."

"Right," Lucy said. "Thank you?"

"Any time, mistress," Cancer said. Lucy managed a watery smile before she reached for her keys again and closed his Gate. Cancer stooped to press a kiss to her forehead and vanished into starlight.

Lucy's smile faded. She straightened her hat and trudged, head down, towards the guild hall. It was actually busier at this time of night; all the lights were blazing and she could hear laughter and raucous conversation from the other end of the street. When she stepped inside, the noise and brilliance were overwhelming and she stood helplessly for a moment in the doorway, not sure what to do.

"Ashley!" Sue hollered. "Over here!" She was sitting cross-legged on a table and waving with a pint in her hand. Ryos got quickly out of the way of the falling foam. Lee Annur and Rossa were at the same table. Lucy couldn't see Gajeel anywhere, though. That was good. She went over to them.

"Thought you were heading home?" Sue greeted her, but before Lucy had time to mumble an excuse she added, "Also, Ryos is spying on you for Gajeel! Just a friendly warning!" Ryos went bright red.

"What?" Lucy squawked. "Why?"

"Don't take it personally, he's spying on the rest of us for the jerkbag as well," Sue said. "Maybe Gajeel's got a bet on or something?" Actually, Lucy knew exactly what it was about. He was waiting for her to fail hilariously. Couldn't he just get on with it and pulverise her himself?

She shot Ryos a venomous look. He scooted rapidly to the other end of the table.

"Ashley, that's mean!" Sue barked. "Ryos, baby, honey pie, get over here, I love you even if you are a sneaking little minion."

"Sue, he's eleven. _Not okay_," Rossa said. "Ryos, come and sit with us where you will be safe from molestation."

"Ryos, don't listen to him, he's a creepy skeleton fetishist and he wants to remove your bones and eat them. Now come here so I can dress you in an adorable frog costume."

Ryos looked between Sue and Rossa, and then sat stock-still and quietly regretted all his life choices.

"Sometimes I feel bad for that kid," Lee Annur said, gazing into the dregs of her lager. There was a moment of silence. She looked up sharply. "Wait. Crap. Did I just say that out loud?"

"A little," Rossa said.

"Uh," Lucy said. "Could I talk to you for a minute? Somewhere quieter?"

"Fine," Lee Annur said, drained her glass and stood. She picked up her staff. "Lead the way."

They went outside and leant against the wall. Lucy took a deep breath and plunged in. "I don't think we'd better work together any more."

"What?" Lee Annur pulled a face. "Why? I mean, sure, you're new, and you're crap, but everybody's new and crap at some point."

"I... uh... I think we just have different approaches to summoning?" Lucy hedged.

"Yeah, you're kind of squeamish," Lee Annur agreed. "But you're improving! I mean, you're making an effort."

"It's not that," Lucy said. "I'm just... I'm not really happy with how you expect me to-" Lee Annur's expression darkened. Lucy's voice dwindled to a whimper. "- treat my spirits?"

Lee Annur stared at her. "Are you serious? Are you actually saying you'd rather a partner of yours got hurt than some of your property got damaged?"

"They're not my property!" Lucy protested. "They're my spirits!"

"Exactly! Your spirits! It's a possessive!" Lee Annur's voice rose to a shout. "Oh my God, do I have to explain grammar to you as well?"

Lucy took a step back, hands raised defensively.

"I – it's not like I _want_ anyone else to get hurt-"

"It's not like it kills them!" Lee Annur snapped. "Hell, Marchosias's grown legs back before! Are stellar spirits just complete fragile swooning pansies or something?"

"No, I know they would heal, I just-" Lucy started. Lee Annur interrupted.

"You just what? Like, you're standing there and thinking _well_ I could let one of my actual _human_ guildmates get maimed or briefly inconvenience one of my summons, huh, well, obvious choice there? It is an obvious choice! How are you getting this _wrong_?"

"That's not what I said!" Lucy protested. There was a lump in her throat and her eyes were stinging with tears again.

"You are saying that! Those are like the exact words you're saying! Are you not listening to yourself?" Lee Annur made an exasperated gesture and rolled her eyes.

"Can you let me talk?" Lucy demanded. "I'm not saying I would prioritise my spirits over someone I was working with! I just don't see why we can't try to find a way where nobody gets hurt!"

"Right, well, if we lived in a perfect fairyland that would be an option, but we don't and it's not," Lee Annur bit out. " How naïve are you? 'I'm not happy with how you expect me to treat my spirits' – well screw you then! Can you imagine if I started caring more about my demons than about Rossa?" She made an expansive gesture possibly signifying the magnitude of the black hole their partnership would collapse into and then added "That's not even worth considering. That's not even a hypothetical situation because in no universe would I do that and screw me if I did!"

"It's not the same," Lucy snarled, hot tears spilling from her eyes. "I don't have a partner! I work by myself!"

"You'd better stick to working by yourself, then," Lee Annur snapped. She spun on her heel and stormed off.

"Wait!" Lucy shouted. Lee Annur disappeared back inside. Lucy scrubbed her hands across her face and sat down, her back against the wall. Was Lee Annur right? Lucy didn't want anyone she was working with to get hurt. She just didn't want her spirits to be hurt either! Was that not good enough? Did she need to be harder, or colder, or stronger? Lucy drew her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and let her head hang down. It couldn't get worse.

"Hey, princess! What's your problem?" Lucy raised her head. Gajeel was standing over her.

"Um," Lucy said. Gajeel grinned and made a fist. Tendons stood out on his forearms. The leather of his gloves creaked.

"Want me to punch it out for you?"

"... I don't need anything punched out of me!" Lucy yelped, and fled.


	5. The Shadow Over Cypress Town

"Sue, are you reading the paper?" Lucy asked. Sue, who hadn't actually opened it, handed it over. Lucy held the paper up as a protective barrier against Lee Annur's glare.

"Hey, there's an article about Fairy Tail in here!"

"Read it out," Bozo said. "They're always good for a laugh."

Lucy obliged.

_FAIRY TAIL UNLEASHES HAVOC AT REGULAR MEETING_

_A plot by the dark guild Eisenwald to assassinate the guild masters of Fiore's District Three has been foiled by a team of mages from Fairy Tail. Eisenwald had located a Zeref-made flute named 'Lullaby' designed to murder anyone who heard it and intended to play this to the guild masters at their regular meeting. The Fairy Tail squad, comprising Erza Titania, ice mage Grey Fullbuster and fire mage Natsu Dragneel, learned of the plot by chance and pursued the Eisenwalders to Oshibana Train Station, where they were trapped in a whirlwind while prominent Eisenwald criminal Erigor 'the Reaper' continued to the site of the regular meeting._

_The Fairy Tail squad demanded assistance from a captured Eisenwald member identified as 'Kage', who told them that they would be able to escape the whirlwind by going under it. The Fairy Tail team thus attempted to dig through the floor, causing an estimated J200,000 worth of damage. 'Kage' reminded them that as a large public building the Oshibana train station was connected to the city's main sewers; he states that he would not have done so had he realised that they would drag him through the sewers as well. The Fairy Tail squad, plus 'Kage', pursued Erigor in an SE-plug automobile, while Natsu Dragneel flew on ahead and was able to delay Erigor to the extent that Erigor, Dragneel and the remainder of the Fairy Tail squad arrived at the masters' meeting near-simultaneously. Master Makarov of Fairy Tail attempted to convince Erigor not to go through with his plan, to his considerable amusement. However, the captured Eisenwald mage 'Kage', whom the Fairy Tail squad had inexplicably brought with them, then seized the flute using shadow magic and broke it._

_In the subsequent chaos 'Kage' was severely wounded and the building housing the regular meeting was demolished, though Erigor was defeated in the process. He has been taken into custody by the Rune Knights. Oshibana Train Station remains inaccessible, though a detachment of military spellbreakers is now endeavoring to dispel the enchantment._

_Master Makarov has requested that the Eisenwalder 'Kage' be paroled under Fairy Tail's supervision when he is released from hospital. It is yet unknown whether the Council will approve this._

Lucy refolded the paper. In hindsight, she was actually relieved she hadn't joined Fairy Tail – with the amount of damage they caused, it would be really hard not to be hurt by a guildmate even if they weren't trying to attack you. Besides, their master was obviously crazy! Were they so hard up for members that he'd try to recruit Eisenwalders?

"Do you think they'll grant the parole?"

"If they do, it'll only be to give the trash a rope and hope they hang themselves," Bozo said. There was a murmur of assent.

One thing Lucy had noticed since joining the guild was that while 'trash' was everybody's favourite word and could in theory be applied to anything, 'the trash' without further qualifiers always meant Fairy Tail. "Why don't we like Fairy Tail? In particular?" Lucy asked. Off their incredulous stares, she added hurriedly, "I know they're weak trash, I saw their Dragonslayer get completely knocked out from seasickness. But what do we have against them in particular?"

"Master Jose and the trash's master don't get on," Bozo said shortly. "They fought at the yearly national meeting six years ago and haven't been to the same meeting since."

So... Master Jose'd lost? Lucy hadn't met Master Jose yet, but considering the mingled terror and reverence that the rest of the guild held for him, it was hard to imagine that he could lose. Everyone was silent and looking down at the table.

"Master Jose would annihilate him in a rematch, though," Lucy said eventually. "We're stronger than them, though, right?"

"We've definitely got a lot more people," Rossa said.

"Subdivision filth," Sue said dismissively. "But our elites are better than theirs."

"Who do they have?" Lucy asked. "I've met Erza Titania. She seems terrify- tough."

"Titania's strong, yeah," Sue conceded. "And Luxus, Makarov's grandson, is pretty powerful, and he's the only one with the right attitude. But that's two against five."

"Of their other top-ranked mages-" Bozo ticked them off in his fingers. "Gildarts hasn't been seen in so long he's probably dead, Mirajane's been nonfunctional for years, and Mystogan doesn't show up to fights – Luxus's challenged him half a dozen times and he just isn't interested. So, likely irrelevant. We can match them, easily."

"Mystogan's just playing hard to get," Sue said.

"No he isn't," Bozo said shortly.

"Is too!" Sue countered, and looked around the table. "Show of hands - Luxus and Mystogan, secret love affair?"

There was a rousing chorus of agreement. Bozo rolled his eyes.

"It explains a lot, actually," Lee Annur drawled. "If my boyfriend wore leopard print with purple trousers, I would go into hiding as well."

"What boyfriend?" Rossa asked her.

Lucy giggled. It was a mistake. Lee Annur impaled her with her stare.

"I... am going to go look at the board," Lucy said, and retreated. There was a mission on the 3rd Division side of the board to look after a litter of three-headed puppies, which sounded like fun, but if she took 3rd Division jobs people would start to think she was weak, so Lucy sighed and turned to the 1st Division side of the board instead.

There was a mission there to defeat a stellar spirit mage.

"Oooh," Lucy said, and leant closer. A stellar spirit mage had been terrorising a small country town a few hours south of them, and they were offering three hundred thousand jewel as a reward. That was good enough by itself, but... if she defeated another stellar spirit mage, a bad one, then wouldn't she get the other mage's keys? She needed to get stronger, didn't she?

Lucy tore the poster off the board, noted the name of the town – Cypress – and stuffed it into her pocket. It'd be hard, but it'd be worth it!

Cypress wasn't a big town; it didn't have a train station of its own and the ticketseller had never even heard of it. Lucy had to consult a map of eastern Fiore to discover that she would need to get a train to Box Town and walk the rest of the way, and then she groaned.

The train took her south and east, into the mountains. Lucy watched out the window as the terrain rose and snowcapped peaks gathered around them; they rattled past herds of grazing sheep, steep slopes dotted with edelweiss, and clattered over rickety bridges across clear glacial rivers and deep crevasses that made her shiver with vertigo and cling to her seat. Lucy took notes – she might want to write a scene set in the mountains one day, after all. Everything was grist for a good writer's mill!

In Box Town she found someone travelling further into the mountains who said he could drop her off a mile from Cypress. Lucy pouted. "Are you sure that's the closest you can get me?" She smiled. "Nice mister?"

He dropped her off a mile from Cypress. Lucy grumbled, shouldered her bag and walked. The town she eventually reached was long and narrow, really only a main street with a tangle of minor roads behind it, stretched along the floor of a valley. On either side forested slopes rose sharply to the sky. At the far end of the town Lucy could just pick out a lake. The mountains and sky mirrored in its still water created an unsettling illusion of a pit yawning open over nothingness.

Lucy accosted a waiter clearing tables outside a small cafe. "Hi! Sorry to interrupt! I'm Lucy Ashley. Do you know where I can find-" Lucy consulted the back of the mission poster. "- Leviva Nulsho?"

"No," he said.

"...Right," Lucy said. That wasn't the answer she had been expecting. There couldn't be more people living in this town than there were on her father's estate, could there? And everybody there knew absolutely everybody else! "Thanks anyway!" She went to ask someone else.

Nobody had heard of Leviva Nulsho. Nobody had heard of any Nulshos at all. It was a small town, they said; everybody knew everybody, everyone would know if anyone had placed a request with a guild, and nobody had. Ever.

A small, dark suspicion began to gnaw at Lucy. Could this be a trap? Could one of her guildmates have set this up to get her? No, that was ridiculous – nobody had any reason to lay such an elaborate trap for her. Could she have accidentally stumbled into a trap set for someone else?

Lucy retreated back to the cafe to think about it, and ordered herself a cream cake and a jug of water while she was there. What? She thought better with cake.

"Why not try our fish sauce?" the waitress asked, and indicated a bowl of thick amber liquid standing on the counter by a pot of toast fingers. To be polite, Lucy dunked a toast finger in the sauce and licked it off. Then she gagged, retched, and raced outside into the street to throw up. The waitress followed her with a glass of water, and stood there watching Lucy cough and wipe her mouth. She looked as if Lucy had slapped her.

"It's a local specialty," she said woefully. "We've been exporting it for nearly three hundred years."

Had the bowl on the counter been there all three hundred of those years, then? Lucy said inwardly. Out loud she said "It's delicious! It's only a coincidence that I was sick right then!" The waitress didn't believe her.

Lucy sat at her table with her cream cake and thought about it. No matter how much she thought about it, though, or twisted the problem about like a mental puzzle cube, she couldn't get it to make sense. Absently, she dropped her ice knuckleduster into her glass of water and pushed it away from her, across the table. She'd been trying to master activating magic items from a distance for a few weeks, though at the rate she was going she didn't think she would ever be good enough to open a gate without touching the key.

She closed her eyes and focused, creating an image in her mind of the knuckleduster's magical reservoir waiting to be filled with power. She pushed power at it, and opened her eyes. Nothing had happened. Lucy closed her eyes tight, bared her teeth, and screwed up her face, because that was what people did in books when they were concentrating very hard, and tried to force her magic into the knuckleduster. The glass fell over. Water spilled across the table. Lucy squeaked. The waitress was there with a towel so quickly that Lucy nearly suspected she'd been watching her. Lucy held her hands up off the table and apologised furiously while the waitress mopped up and retreated back behind the counter.

Ugh. Lucy leant on her elbows and sighed. That obviously just wasn't ever going to work. She thought about Cypress Town instead. If this was a trap, who was it for? Wasn't it designed for a stellar spirit mage? And she knew she was the only one of those working out of the Oak Town branch. Wouldn't anyone posting any fake mission have to clear it with Bozo first? He definitely hadn't told her it was meant for anyone else when she'd officially taken it. Why would he, though?

Now Lucy had a headache. She slumped down on the table and fiddled with her spoon. It must be a fake of some kind. Everyone was so certain that nobody'd called a guild in...

A quiet voice at the back of Lucy's mind said, _look at their eyes_. She sat up and turned to look. The waitress was serving another customer but watching Lucy. White showed all around her irises. The customer turned, shot Lucy a furtive glance over his shoulder and then turned back sharply as soon as he realised she'd spotted him. They were all terrified.

What the hell was going on?

A tall man in a suit, probably the manager, brought a receipt to her table. Lucy was instantly on alert. "I paid at the counter," she said.

The manager only shushed her, indicated the receipt, and walked away. Lucy looked at it. There, written down the side in thick dark ink, was a note. _Mage_, it said. _If you want to know what's going on, meet me by the trees in the park tonight._

Lucy glanced up. The manager was over by the counter, trying to look busy by moving clean glasses around on a tray. Lucy folded the note and slipped it into her pocket.

The town park was in the middle of town, on the left of the main street as you looked towards the lake. It had a swingset and climbing frame, a pair of benches, a raised round lily pond and, at the back, a grove of trees that backed onto the forest. At midnight ('night' always meant 'midnight', didn't it?) Lucy was waiting in the grove.

She was idly twiddling her hair around her fingers when she heard a twig snap under somebody else's step. She spun around.

It wasn't the man from the cafe. It wasn't even a man. It was a woman.

"...hi?" Lucy said, bemused.

She was young – there were probably only a few years between her and Lucy, though she looked older because she was dressed as if she were about to sit for a portrait. She wore an ochre-coloured gown, with a stole around her shoulders to keep off the night chill. Her mint green hair was swept into an effortlessly-elegant updo. She looked like a star from an old movie. Lucy, in her ripped midriff-baring shirt and shabby pants, felt instantly completely upstaged and resentful. She scowled.

The movie star smiled. "Good evening, Miss Ashley. I hope you didn't have a difficult journey here. Did you come far?"

"Uh... no? I got the train from Oak Town," Lucy said.

"Oh, Oak Town? I understand the branch of your guild there occupies the keep of what was the old castle. It must be remarkable, to be quartered in a building with such a long history."

"Um," Lucy said. "Yes?" She hoped this woman, whoever she was, would get off the subject of historical buildings soon.

"I'm very sorry that you were brought into this mess," the woman said. "I can assure you that I would have much rather the situation were different, and of course I understand that this is in no way your fault, but, regrettably, you still have to die."

Wait.

What?

Lucy backed away fast. Was this because she hadn't liked the fish sauce? "Who are you?" The woman turned to follow her and there, right there, only half-hidden by her stole, was her ring of keys. How had Lucy been so blind? She reached for her own keys.

"Oh, tch," the woman said. "I didn't introduce myself, did I? My name is Eiry Eilac. I own this town."

Lucy didn't need to hear anything else. "Open! Gate of the Giant Crab!" She'd been holding off on summoning Taurus. Cancer appeared in a shower of starlight, his scissors at the ready. He glanced around. "It's another fight, then, -ebi?"

Lucy pointed at Eiry. "Cancer! Cut this short!" Cancer almost blurred. His scissors slashed towards Eiry Eilac's head. She didn't reach for her keys, though. She raised her hand, palm turned towards Cancer, and said "Thief of Heart." Cancer stopped. Eiry smiled. Cancer turned, slowly. A magic circle glowed on his chest right above his heart.

"...Cancer?" Lucy said, puzzled, and then shrieked and dived out of the way as his scissors sliced the air above her head. "_Cancer_!" Why was he attacking her? "Cancer! Stop it!" Cancer snapped his scissors shut and spun them in his hands until he was gripping them like daggers. What was going on? Was this mind-control magic?

"Gate of the Crab! Close!" she shouted, and slashed the key through the air. Nothing happened. "Gate of the Crab, _close_!"

"Gates must be closed through agreement of the summoner and the summoned," Eiry said. She was standing back, and watching.

Lucy had to get out of there! She dodged a slice from Cancer that would have torn open her belly, fell and tried to scrabble back on her hands and knees. Cancer stood over her. Lucy rolled over and slammed her boot with all the force she could muster into the side of his knee. Cancer went sprawling. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Lucy gasped. She couldn't defeat the two of them just with her whip, and if she tried to summon another spirit then they would just be turned against her!

Unless...

Lucy scrambled to her feet and ran for the lily pond. She hadn't summoned Aquarius since... since the mission with Lee Annur and Rossa, but she knew Aquarius had been itching to mete out justice. She half-fell down by the water's edge – the concrete tore layers of skin from her knees but it was such a distant pain it could have been happening to someone else – and shoved Aquarius's key into the pond. She could hear Cancer's footsteps behind her. How close was he? She could almost feel the quick, surgical strike into the nape of her neck.

"Open! Gate of the Waterbearer!"

The water exploded upwards, and thards of starlight mirrored in the flying droplets coalesced into an extremely angry mermaid. Lucy's breath was still sawing in her throat, but seeing Aquarius's face distorted into animal fury stung new energy out of her. She scrabbled to her feet again and sprinted for the swingset.

"Stop running away!" Aquarius howled. "Get back here and take your fucking punishment!" Lucy didn't stop. She was only a few feet away from one of the swingset's support posts when Aquarius unleashed the Wave of the Waterbearer. The impact of the water swept Lucy off her feet and slammed her into the post, knocking all the air out of her lungs in a bubbling shriek. Everything went black. Pond water and silt rushed into her mouth. She clung tight to the post as the current tried to tear her free and finally, just when her lungs were bursting and she didn't think she could hold on a second longer, the water dropped away.

Lucy gasped in oxygen, unwound one arm carefully from her support post, wiped silt from her eyes and looked around. The pond was overflowing. The lilies were gone. The whole park had become a lake, knee-deep in water. Though the swingset's concrete foundations had held, a few of the smaller trees had been ripped up by the roots, and Lucy knew that would have left deep dark pits behind them that she would never see before she fell into them. Aquarius had left of her own accord. Where was Cancer? Was he all right? She'd done it again, she'd let one of them get hurt...

She peeled the other hand off the support post, with difficulty. Her knuckles were numb and white from the cold water. She tried to take a step and fell down in the mud.

Lucy gritted her teeth and staggered towards the grove, one arm outstretched to keep her balance. The other was fumbling in her pants pocket. It was unbearably slow going, fighting against the mud and the lake with every step, but she couldn't possibly have moved faster. Water sloshed over the tops of her boots. As Lucy reached the treeline and leant dizzily against a fallen trunk, a figure rose up from the mud.

It wasn't Cancer. It was Eiry. The whites of her eyes showed starkly against the mud. Her elegant updo fell bedraggled around her shoulders, her shawl was gone and the deep sophisticated ochre of her dress was invisible under a thick coating of filth. Lucy wheezed out an awful, sobbing laugh and hoisted herself onto the fallen trunk.

"Open," Eiry rasped. "Gate of the-"

"L-lucy punch," Lucy rebutted, and fell off the treetrunk. Her right fist hit the water first. The surface froze instantly. An inch-thick skin of ice rippled out across the surface of the lake. Ice rimed the drifting leaves, crawled up the treetrunks, and froze a prison around Eiry Eilac's waist and arms. She let out a startled, stifled squeak. Lucy struggled to her feet The ice creaked under her weight. Lucy remembered skating lessons in winter on the lake at home - spread your weight out on thin ice – and dropped to her hands and knees. That was why, when Eiry shouted "Caelum! Fire!" the blast that seared afterimages into Lucy's retinas and scorched the air passed far above her head.

Lucy found she could move faster after all.

Somebody had set her up, and Lucy knew exactly who that somebody was. She stormed – well, squelched – back to the cafe. She wanted to get the hell out of there, back to the station in Box Town and all the way back to her own flat. What she needed was to find out what was going on. She couldn't go back without completing the job. She knew what would happen then. She'd seen it herself. It had happened a couple of weeks ago to another First Division girl.

Lucy had been out in the yard at the back of the guild hall when it happened, sparring with Sue, or more accurately, Sue had been using her as a punchbag. Lucy was bent over, wheezing, her hands on her knees. Sue was looking towards the guildhall, with a frown. "You hear that?"

"I don't hear anything," Lucy said, straightening up.

"Yeah, exactly," Sue said, and headed for the guildhall.

"Wait!" Lucy protested.

"I'll beat you up again in a minute, come on," Sue ordered. Lucy trailed after her. Inside, it was so quiet Lucy felt like she was stepping into a funeral. Sue went to the archway in the mezzanine and peered through. Lucy followed her, feeling queasy with apprehension; it was unnatural, the way that the rest of the rowdy, raucous Phantom Lord mages were sitting silently with their eyes fixed on the tabletops.

"Shit," Sue said, and pulled back sharply. She leant against the wall with her arms folded tight across her chest, her head down and her eyes shut. Lucy peeked around the archway. Gajeel and Bozo were standing in the middle of the guild hall, facing a girl Lucy vaguely knew; didn't she specialise in binding spells or something like that? She had loose shoulder-length green hair, and wore capri pants and a short cloak that covered up her left arm.

"You can't do this!" she protested. "It was only one mission!"

"One catastrophic failure," Bozo corrected her shortly. "You embarrassed the guild. We're not about to let you do it again."

"You got beaten by trash," Gajeel drawled. "That makes you trash as well. You know why Phantom Lord's the strongest guild in the country? Because we don't take weaklings."

"It was one mission!" the girl flared up. "I can still work!" She sounded close to tears. "Demote me, whatever, just don't make me leave-"

Gajeel grabbed her by the back of her neck and ripped her cloak off. The girl shrieked and raised both arms to protect herself. Except... Lucy blinked, and then flinched back. The girl didn't have both arms; the left ended halfway down her upper arm. The stump was wrapped in bandages. Gajeel shook her like a doll. "Oi, girlie, where was your mark again? I don't see it!" He flung her bodily towards the door. She hit the ground twenty feet away with a cry of pain. "Get out!"

"Nothing personal, Seryn," Bozo called after her. "You know the rules."

"The rules are that we've got no room for trash that can't keep their own arms on," Gajeel barked, and laughed. "Gihihihi!"

Lucy shuddered and forced the memory down. She didn't much like being in a guild, but it would be much worse to be forced out.

The front door of the café was locked, so Lucy kicked in one of the panes of glass in the door and scrambled through it. The manager lived upstairs. Lucy kicked his door in, too. It opened into a narrow hallway. The manager was standing at the other end. He was wearing a nightgown and a bedcap with a bobble on the end. His wife was hiding behind him, gripping his arm.

"Oh, crap," he said.

"I want to know what's going on," Lucy said. "Who's Eiry Eilac and what's she doing? Tell me! Right now!"

"What?" the wife said. The cafe manager clutched at her for support. She shook him off, snapped "If this is about her then I'm not having anything to do with it! You want all of us to end up like the Nulshos?" and vanished into the back of the flat. A door slammed. The cafe manager wilted.

"Oh, so you do know what happened to them!" Lucy said. "What was it?"

"Not really! They were here a few days ago, and then by the next morning they'd disappeared!"

Just because one of them asked a guild to get rid of her? "Who's Eiry? And why's she insane?"

"Her father used to be the mayor here," the cafe manager said, very quickly. "We threw him out fifteen years ago. He – there was a dark guild here that was extorting people, protection money and stuff, and when we got some legal guild mages in to sort them out they found out he was working with them and we ran both of them out of town. She came back again about a year or so ago and took over."

"What happened to the old mayor, then?"

"I don't know! Someone told me she fed him to a demon, but..." He made a helpless gesture. "I don't know!"

"What's she doing?" Lucy demanded. "What does she want?"

"Uh, I don't – some people said she's trying to get revenge for her father, and some people said she's trying to finish off what he started, but – it's not as if she talks about it! I don't know anything!"

"If you say that again I'm going to feed you to my snake," Lucy snapped. "You know enough to find her and tip her off about where I'll be! What is it that you're not telling me?"

"I - I know she's supposed to be somewhere else tonight," he stuttered, "because she was worried she wouldn't be able to get there on time, and she measured it on a map-"

"Where is it?"

"... the map, or the place?"

"The place!" Lucy shouted.

"Oh, God – okay, it's the cliff with the swing, in the woods, to the right of the lake, if you go down the side road that the hairdresser's on and keep going you'll find it!" Lucy tried to map that out in her head and failed. She didn't even remember seeing a hairdresser's when she was walking around earluer. But he didn't have much of a reason to lie to her, did he? Of course he was just sending her back to where he thought Eiry would be, but wasn't that the point? "If you're sending me into another trap, then I'm going to survive that one too, and then I'm going to come back here and kill your whole family and make you watch," Lucy snapped. She was bluffing. Obviously, she was bluffing. The cafe manager shook his head convulsively. "I'm not lying, I swear!"

"Good," Lucy said. "Oh, and..." She indicated her sodden outfit. "I need some new clothes, too."

Five minutes later, Lucy was back in dry clothes – dark jeans, a grey tank top and a red and blue hooded sweatshirt - and hurrying down the street towards the meeting place. She hugged the walls and stuck to the shadows, scurrying rapidly from one patch of darkness to the next. Of course it was very unlikely that anyone she knew would see her dressed like this – or that they would care if they did – but this was no time to take chances. She kept one hand on her whip, too, ready to defend herself.

She found the hairdresser's, a small shop with the name Curl Up And Dye emblazoned across its front in brashly cheerful pink letters, and swung down into the side street. A few minutes later she was climbing into the mountains outside the town. Lucy had been afraid that she would lose her way in the forest, but to her surprise she found herself following a broad path through the trees. There was grass growing back over the earth that had been worn bare by passing feet, but it was still clear enough to follow even by the meagre starlight that penetrated the tree cover. The trees loomed over her from either side. At any moment Lucy expected to see a slim figure in ochre step out of the shadows. She shivered and moved quicker.

The path twisted and turned but finally led Lucy to an exceptionally broad ledge in a shallow rock face. There was someone already standing on the ledge. Lucy squeaked and dived behind a tree, her heart hammering. She pressed her back against the trunk and waited for what seemed like an eternity. Nothing happened. No cry, no polite greeting, no footsteps. Lucy peeked out around the curve of the trunk, holding her breath as if whoever was standing on the little plateau might hear it.

It wasn't Eiry. It was a short stout man, with a woolly hat pulled down low over his ears, hopping from foot to foot and blowing on his hands. He had a riding crop thrust through his belt. Lucy wasn't really worried about that; her bullwhip had a much longer reach and she could hit him before he could hit her. She looked around, searching for Eiry. On the near side of the plateau to the town, the rock face fell away steeply. A tyre hanging from a thick tree branch just over the edge suggested that this was a popular spot for Cypress Town's children, or had been. On the other side, the cliff face reared up again from a heap of huge broken boulders. Lucy couldn't see Eiry. She leaned out a little further. The short man blew on his fingers again, looked up, and spotted her instantly. Lucy blanched.

"Hey, you!" the short man yelled. "Lassie in the red jumper, I see you hiding there! You Eiry Eilac?"

"...Yes," Lucy said. She stepped out from behind the tree. "Hello?" She took a few cautious steps beyond the treeline.

"You've kept me waiting," he informed her. "Shan't lie, I was thinking about having a go on the swing to pass the time." He let out a booming laugh.

"I'm very sorry," Lucy said. "Please excuse me." She straightened her back and tried to sound as much like Eiry as she could.

"Never mind, my duck, these things happen," he said. "Do you fancy getting down to business, then? It's a long way out of these hills of yours and I'd rather be away by sun-up." He pulled out a big heavy book, bound in brown leather and with a faded green ribbon to mark its place. They were trading? What were they trading for?

"I'd like to see inside it, if you please," Lucy said. Actually, this guy had never met Eiry, so why was she bothering to imitate her? Well, it would look weird now if she just stopped. The man held the book up and flipped through the pages – tiny text and big pictures, mostly of circles. Lucy's polite smile wavered. What was that about? Why did Eiry want a book about circles?

The short man snapped the book closed with a thump. "One Nekrotheokeimenon, accurate and intact," he said. "Well?"

A nekkle – a nakker – a what?

Seriously, a what?

The silence stretched out. The trader's cheery smile started to fade. Lucy needed to think of something to say.

She couldn't think of anything to say!

Lucy exploded. She threw her hands in the air and screamed "What the hell is a negaturkeymon?" Birds flew cawing from the trees. The trader stared at her blankly.

"It's something that doesn't concern you, Lucy Ashley."

Lucy whipped around with a cry of shock. Eiry Eilac glided out of the forest. She'd changed – her hair now fell in loose curls around her shoulders and she wore a long white gown that made her look like a ghost. One hand daintily lifted her skirt clear of the dirt. The other held her keys. Lucy yanked her whip from her belt. Eiry raised a key. "Open, Gate of the Great Bear. Ursa Major!"

There was a blast of smoke and a burst of supernova light. The light coalesced into a massive, massive bear. It towered above Eiry, who clasped her hands and gave Lucy a beatific smile like a painted saint, and when it roared it bared razorblade teeth and when it slashed its claws through the air it nearly left sparks in their wake.

Lucy changed her plan. She spun ninety degrees and lashed her whip at the swing instead. The end wrapped about the hanging rope and a quick jerk of the whip brought the tyre swinging inwards over the plateau. Lucy raced across the grass to meet it. Ursa Major's claws slashed through the air behind her as she threw herself off the edge of the cliff, but Lucy was already sailing shrieking through the air. At the apex of the swing's arc she let go and was flung into the trees. She hit the ground with a cry. The thick red sweater cushioned the impact a little, but not enough. She sprawled out on the ground, head spinning.

She didn't have time for this! Ursa Major could be on her any second! Lucy scrambled up and ran to hide among the trees.

"Now what in the buggeration was that?" the trader asked.

"A minor problem," Eiry said. "Please don't let it concern you. It's Mr Kreuze, yes? I do apologise for my late arrival."

Mr Kreuze grunted dismissively. "These things happen. Never mind it. Pretty little problem, though ... might take it off your hands for you, if I run into her again."

"If you like," Eiry said.

Lucy risked a look up. Ursa Major wasn't chasing her. She was standing on the edge of the plateau, scanning the trees. Lucy huddled against the trunk of a spreading oak, in the shadow of its branches. Her heart was hammering so loudly the bear must be able to hear her. She looked up again and saw her whip, lying in the grass in full view of Eiry and Mr Kreuze on the plateau. Lucy groaned and covered her face with her hands. She couldn't do anything without her whip! She would have to wait until they were done trading whatever they were trading for before she could go get it back.

She straightened up, slowly and carefully, so that she could see better.

Mr Kreuze rubbed his hands together. "Now, I've been waiting a while, my kitten, and it's chilly up here. You fancy getting down to business?"

"Ursa Major, the rock," Eiry ordered. Ursa Major lumbered across to the heap of boulders on the other side, reared up to rest her front paws on the largest, and pushed. The boulder scraped slowly out of the way, revealing behind it a low-ceilinged cave. A dozen people were crowded inside, from an old couple with white dandelion-clock hair down to a huddle of little kids. They were all in chains. Was this the Nulsho family?

Mr Kreuze looked them over, and then grinned. "Some pretty fine specimens in there. And might be I could get something for the old ones on the catfood market-" He let out another booming laugh. The people in the cave flinched back. So did Lucy – he was a slave trader? Ugh! Even Eiry made a disgusted face, but as soon as Mr Kreuze turned back she was all pleasant smiles again.

"Well, you've held up your end of the bargain, my . Here's your book-" He tossed it to her. Eiry snatched it out of the air and flicked through the pages. "I'm hoping you know what it is?" He chuckled.

"I'm reasonably well-informed," Eiry said, clasping the book tight to her chest. "Thank you, Mr Kreuze."

"Pleasure doing business with you, my duck," Mr Kreuze said. "Now, I can't say as I know what you're planning to do with that, sweetheart, and can't say as I much care either, but mind holding off until me and my goods are well away from here? All the way in Bosco'd be just dandy." He was looking at the chained people in the cave.

"It won't be a problem," Eiry assured him. "Ursa Major? Kill him."

Lucy recoiled sharply against the tree, both hands going to her mouth.

"What?" Mr Kreuze whirled around. "You treacherous bitch!" he spat, and brought both hands together. "Acid Bubbles!" Shiny purple bubbles poured from his cupped hands. Ursa Major charged. The acid bubbles burst against her thick fur and chewed suppurating pits into her flesh, but she ploughed on through the damage. Lucy could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Mr Kreuze drew the riding crop from his belt, but it was already too late. Ursa Major knocked him to the ground with one blow from a forepaw. Mr Kreuze's scream cut off abruptly as her jaws closed on his head. Oh God. Oh, God. Lucy scrabbled backwards, whimpering. She felt dizzy. It was an effort just to breathe. Even if he was a slave trader, that was –

One of the women in the cave was keening softly. A few of the bubbles had been blown towards Eiry by a night breeze. She stepped gracefully aside to let them float past. Ursa Major staggered and fell. Lucy felt the earth shake as the stellar spirit's bulk crashed to the floor.

"Thank you, Ursa Major," Eiry said. Ursa Major only snarled in response. Eiry gave a little shrug, as if to say 'Suit yourself,' and dismissed her. She turned to the edge of the plateau. "Did you appreciate that, Lucy Ashley?" Lucy stopped breathing. Her blood ran cold. Eiry raised a key. "Open, Gate of the Hunting Hounds! Canes Venatici!" A flash of light resolved into a pair of slim long-legged hunting dogs.

There wasn't going to be time to retrieve her whip. Lucy whirled away and broke into a run, hearing howls behind as she did. The hounds were gaining on her.


	6. The Shadow Over Cypress Town, Part II

Lucy had half-hoped that when she reached the town there would be lights, people, something she could use, but it was well past midnight and the whole town was fast asleep. Even if they knew she was out there, why would anyone look? She tore across the broad open main street and down a side road, trying to find somewhere to hide. There was nowhere, and a bark from her right side sent her racing down an alley to her left instead. She knew the hounds were close behind her – she could hear their paws on the paving stones – but she didn't dare look back. If she stopped for a moment they'd rip her to pieces. Lucy's breath came hard and her lungs burned. The streets and alleys were blurring together. She felt like she'd been running in circles for hours, and -

Lucy slipped on the cobbles and went sprawling on the ground. Her breath was sobbing in her throat. She couldn't possibly run any more. She didn't have a choice! She reached for her keys. "Open, Gate of the Bull! Taurus!"

Taurus materialised, brandishing his axe and roaring out his battle cry. "Miss Lucy's body is the best!" Lucy's breath caught in her throat. She had been afraid that he would still be hurt or burned, but there wasn't a scratch on him, so despite the situation she found herself smiling ear to ear.

"Thief of Heart," said Eiry.

Lucy's breath caught in her throat. Taurus broke off mid-sentence. The light died out of his eyes. Lucy stumbled back, just realising how well she'd been played. The hounds hadn't really been chasing her; they had just herded her around in a circle, right back to Eiry. This was their town. She'd never really stood a chance.

"Taurus," she said weakly. He swung his axe at her. Lucy screamed and threw herself aside. "Taurus, stop it! Gate of the Bull, close!" Nothing happened. She tried to scrabble up and away but Taurus grabbed her by the calf and hauled her towards him. She was going to be killed by one of her own spirits! Was this her punishment for letting Taurus get hurt? Was this a nightmare?

"Taur-" His hand closed around her throat, cutting off her air, and he lifted her off the ground. It felt as if her head was going to come off. Lucy grabbed his wrist and kicked out at him. She might have been kicking a wall. Taurus stared at her with blank dead eyes. Hot panic flooded through her. There was a roaring in her ears like the sea and blackness was seeping in around the edges of her vision. She caught a glimpse of Eiry, smiling faintly as if she were amused, but then Eiry's smile fractured as the Canes Venatici attacked her.

Eiry hit the floor with a cry of shock, throwing her arms up over her head. Taurus instantly let go of Lucy. She fell to the ground and lay there, sucking down air. "Open, Gate of the Chisel! Caelum!" Eiry shouted, and a giant sword-like chisel appeared in her hands. She laid about herself with it. The blunt edge caught one of the dogs in the belly and flung it away, howling. The other snarled and skittered back out of range. Eiry dropped the chisel and extended one hand towards the Hounds. "Thief of Heart!" Glowing magical circles appeared over the dogs' narrow chests. "Close, Gate of the Hounds!" The dogs vanished. Eiry spun back to Lucy and Taurus. "Thief of Heart!"

Taurus stooped and grabbed Lucy by the upper arm. She should have closed Taurus's gate when she had the chance. She hadn't thought of it. She was such an idiot for not thinking of it! "Gate of the Bull, close," she rasped. "Taurus-"

"Gates are closed by mutual accord," Eiry reminded her. "They can't be closed one-sidedly." Taurus lifted Lucy off her feet. She dangled in midair in front of his blank face. It occurred to her, distantly, that she hadn't told him she was sorry. She didn't want to die, and – unless she was delirious with exhaustion – deep in his dull eyes she thought she could see a flicker of her own horror. She couldn't let this happen. If she let this happen she never deserved to be a stellar spirit mage to begin with.

"Gate of the Bull," she whispered. She saw the Gate in her head, a huge oaken door with a massive iron lock and bar, and slammed it shut. "Close!"

Taurus melted into starlight. For the tenth time that night, Lucy fell to the ground.

"What?" Eiry said.

"I did it?" Lucy croaked.

"...congratulations," Eiry said sourly. "Open, Gate of the Great Bear! Ursa Major!"

The bear spirit appeared. There was no mind control here; from the red glaring rage in Ursa Major's eyes, it would be only too happy to rip her to shreds.

"Look!" Lucy shouted, her throat painfully raw, and pointed. "An Ursa Minor!"

Ursa Major turned to look. Lucy dragged on the magic she had left, turned it into energy, and bolted.

How much would the wounds Ursa Major already had slow her down? Lucy threw a hunted look back over her shoulder as she skidded around a corner back onto the main street. Ursa Major was charging after her with the speed of a freight train, even though she was lurching from side to side and holding one of her hind paws off the ground. But as the celestial bear rounded the corner after Lucy, she lurched and staggered and had to nearly stop altogether. She wasn't very agile now at all.

Lucy ran for a narrow alley, with Ursa Major hot on her heels, and then at the last moment spun and shot off in the other direction. Ursa Major tried to turn, stumbled, staggered and crashed into a dustbin. Lucy heard the reverberating clang and the noise of the dustbin lid rolling across the paving stones. Ahead of her she saw the lake.

Lucy formulated a completely mad and desperate plan.

The last building before the docks was a big hall, with racks outside to dry fish on. The doors and all the windows were locked. Lucy snatched a crossbar from one of the drying racks and slammed the end into one of the windows. Glass shards rained down. Lucy threw the crossbar aside and clambered through the window. The slivers hanging on around the edges of the frame cut into her hands and shins, but Lucy barely noticed. She swept a quick glance around the hall and saw two massive fireplaces at either side of the hall and, piled up between them, stacks of massive earthenware pots as big as bathtubs, sacks of dried herbs and barrels stacked up on top of each other. Ursa Major crashed through the front door. Lucy screamed and dived behind the stacked barrels, and one blow of Ursa Major's massive front paws smashed them into pieces. Lucy shrieked and ducked flat, covering her head with both arms as wood fragments and dust showered down on her.

More importantly, though, this flung Cypress Town's local speciality fish sauce _everywhere_.

The stink was overwhelming. Lucy scrambled backwards, slipping in the thick amber liquid. Ursa Major let out a howl of pain and threw herself to the ground. The floorboards shook. Ursa Major rolled on the floor as if she was trying to smother a fire. More fish sauce seeped into her fur and the pink melted-looking pits that the acid bubbles had left on her. Ursa Major yowled, clambered to her feet and charged from the hall.

What was that about? Lucy stumbled away, slipped and fell on her face. Fish sauce spattered her arms and dripped into the cuts she'd got from the glass.

Oh. It had salt in.

_Ow._

"Ow, ow, ow," Lucy whimpered as she trudged doggedly towards the other exit. It opened into a narrow alley, next to a fire escape leading up to the first floor. She climbed the steps. Getting onto the roof from there was acutely difficult, and required several minutes of ungainly wriggling with her rear end sticking out over the edge, but finally she managed to hunker down against one of the chimney pots. It would be impossible to spot her from the ground. Below she could see Ursa Major by the white-capped wake that the bear left as it waded out into the water. The Canes Venatici, she thought, were circling the building and trying to pick up her trail again, but that was impossible when everything stank so badly of fish sauce. Wherever she was, Eiry closed their gates. Lucy saw the flashes of starlight as they returned to the stellar spirit world, and closed her eyes. Tears dripped down her face. The last of the energy she'd borrowed from her magical power was gone, and now her muscles just hurt more. She couldn't do that again. She barely had enough energy left to summon one spirit.

She rolled onto her back and mumbled "Open, Gate of the Southern Cross, Crux."

Grandpa Crux appeared and frowned down at her.

"Hi," Lucy rasped. Her throat still hurt. She dropped her voice to a whisper. "I need to know about a book. I don't know if it's got anything to do with stellar spirits, really, though- what's wrong?"

Grandpa Crux was looking around with his nose wrinkled. "Do you smell fish?" Lucy wilted.

"...can you just look for the book for me, please? It's really thick and old-looking, and I think it was called... um... the copacabana?"

Grandpa Crux looked blank.

"Or the negaturkeymon?" Lucy hazarded. "Can you look, please?"

Grandpa Crux shut his eyes.

He might not be able to find anything. But there was a good chance it had to do with stellar spirit magic, wasn't there? She had time. She could rest and make a plan. Eiry Eilac didn't seem to be much good in a physical fight. If she could catch her without her keys...

Was she crazy?! Didn't she remember how Ursa Major had slaughtered that slave trader? Didn't she remember Taurus trying to throttle her to death? What was she supposed to do, ambush Eiry in the bathroom? She wanted to go home, even if Phantom Lord would expel her for it. She wasn't cut out for this. She'd only been put into First Division as a joke! It was only because of luck that she was still even alive!

Lucy groaned and covered her face with her arms. She wished she had a partner. She would never have even imagined it before she'd joined Phantom Lord, but in the guild partnership was more like being married than like being friends, and when she remembered her first mission she could see why – if you had someone you worked well with, that you could trust to support you, wasn't it worth hanging onto them with all your strength? That sounded a lot better than being all by herself, stuck on a roof, covered with fish sauce.

Grandpa Crux's eyes popped open. "This is bad! This is very bad!"

Lucy propped herself up on one elbow. "What is it?"

"The Nekrotheokeimenon-"

"Yeah, that was it!"

"-is a text for summoning chthonians."

"...what?" Lucy said. "They exist?"

"They exist," Crux confirmed.

Lucy swallowed. "What are they?" She tried to remember what she knew about chthonians – urban legends, mostly, horror novels. Wasn't there a story that someone had tried to summon a chthonian to devour Zeref and Zeref had eaten the chthonian instead?

"They are entities which exist outside our reality, and which are trying to get in," Crux said. It sounded as if he was quoting from something. "It may be that they see our reality as a beacon of warmth and light and so crave it, without caring that it would be destroyed in the consuming. Or perhaps that is only a conceited dream, and our world and our existence is as alien and horrifying to them as theirs is to us, and so they pursue our annihilation. Or, more likely, their reasons are unfathomable to any intelligence born of this world. They exist, they want to get in and eat their fill of our reality, and this cannot be permitted; that is all we know, and all we need to know."

Lucy couldn't really believe what she was hearing. "How do you summon one?"

"By drawing a particular magical circle," Crux said.

"Do you have to wait for the stars to align or anything?" Lucy said, without much hope. Crux shook his head. The drawings in the book had looked pretty complicated. That would have to take a while, right? Like, a couple hours?

Lucy chewed anxiously on her lower lip and asked the question she didn't really want to know the answer to. "What happens if they do get in?"

"It depends on the nature of the entity summoned," Crux said. "Epidemics of contagious madness. Physical destruction on a cataclysmic scale. In some cases they seem to-" he hesitated a moment. "- consume the souls, or minds, of anyone in the vicinity when their gate is opened. It may be unintentional, a mere side-effect of their presence, but there's no way to communicate with such a being to ask." Eiry couldn't be planning to destroy the town, not when she wanted to rule it, and driving everybody mad wouldn't help her either. Lucy chewed on her lower lip and thought about it. Eiry's Thief of Heart magic obviously didn't work on humans. If it did, she would have just mind-controlled Lucy from the start. But would it work on humans after she'd had a monster eat their souls?

"So... I have to stop her," Lucy said, and swallowed.

* * *

A little while later, Lucy stared upwards, remembered Eiry's words – It must be remarkable, to be quartered in a building with such a long history – and groaned again. She had gone back to the cave in the forest, levered the rock away from the entrance, and found out where Eiry was hiding out from the Nulshos chained up in the cave. (She'd tried to unchain them. It turned out that she wasn't very good at picking locks.) As it turned out, though, she could have just asked anyone about the oldest house in the area and got the same result without ever having to see that slave trader's mangled body again.

The house was perched atop a rocky crag in the forest. Lucy would have been able to see the top of its tower from Cypress Town's main street if it hadn't been so overgrown. Barely a scrap of stone showed through the smothering ivy, except for the black pits of broken windows. According to the people in the cave, it had once belonged to the local earl, but after the family line had died out it had been taken over by the dark guild that had been chased out fifteen years earlier, and then left to rot. Lucy couldn't guess where Eiry would be. Where could she sneak in? Could she just clamber in through one of the broken windows? Was that too obvious? What if there were pitfall traps full of spikes on the other side? Lucy would definitely have put pitfall traps full of spikes on the other side of the windows if she was Eiry!

Her knuckles white on the ring of her keys, Lucy crept around the edge of the crag towards the back of the house. The back was always easier to break in by, right? But by the time she reached the kitchen, a big square building set off from the rest of the house which completely blocked her way, she hadn't found anything. The kitchen door was sealed with a rusted iron bar. The windows were too high up to scramble in by. Next to the back door, though, there was a place where the earth sloped up in a weirdly diagonal way.

Lucy chewed on her lower lip, puzzling over that, and then realised it was the coal hole. She scraped away the earth above it until she reached the lid. The padlock was rusted shut, but the wooden lid itself was old and rotten. It collapsed under her. Lucy hit the floor with a crash and a shriek, and then the padlock landed on her head. The open trapdoor let in a little dim moonlight, but ahead of her there was nothing but darkness. Lucy pushed herself to her feet and stood still, trying to distinguish something in the blackness. If she took another step, what would she find?

Something skittered across her foot. Lucy ran screaming and crashed into the cellar door. "Ow!"

She felt around it. It wasn't locked. It was only stuck, and the impact of Lucy slamming into it at full speed had jarred it loose. Lucy quickly pretended that was intentional. She hauled the door open, releasing a cloud of dust that made her cough and wheeze, and stumbled through. She passed through the kitchen, where dust swirled in the moonlight that slanted through the small high windows and carpeted the stone floor so thickly that her boots left prints in the dust, and followed a narrow spiral staircase at the far end up into a screened-off passageway. She trod on the edges of the steps, so that they wouldn't creak under her weight. She was beginning to feel almost optimistic. The nauseated feeling in her stomach was fading. Eiry might be a murderous lunatic with mind-control magic and a giant angry bear, but Lucy was an expert at sneaking around big fancy houses! A fly buzzed around her head and she swatted it away.

The screened-off passage opened into the great hall of the house. Lucy could see that it must have been an amazing place once. The fireplaces on each side were massive enough that Lucy could have stretched out in them, the windows were stained glass and three massive chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Above the screens passage there was a musicians' gallery and every wall was decorated with portraits painted on wooden panels. But the windows were broken, the chandeliers were rusted and the eyes of the portraits had been carved out, leaving only dark pits behind. Lucy shuddered, slipped through the screen door and hurried through the hall, trying not to feel those black hole eyes boring into her as she did. She slipped through the double doors leading out of the hall, saw the book and stopped dead with a gasp. She scanned the room quickly. This was the manor's entrance hall. Two curved sweeping staircases led up to an upper gallery directly above her head. At the foot of one of the staircases there was a small dusty table. The book was on the table.

Lucy edged forward, staring upwards, until she was sure she couldn't see anyone on the gallery above, and then made a dash for the book. She scooped it up off the table and clutched it close to her chest. There! Now she just had to get out of the house, and -

Lucy turned around and saw Eiry, standing at the top of the stairs. She yelped and backed away, clutching the book tight in one hand and the keys she barely had the strength to use in the other.

Eiry laughed. "Do you really think that's the real one?"

"...what?" Lucy said faintly.

Eiry began to descend the steps, one hand trailing lightly on the railing. She was holding the book Lucy glanced down at the copy in her arms. How-

"That would be the stellar spirit Andromeda," Eiry explained. "They take the form of whatever is guaranteed to lure the target. It's derived from the traditional figure of the princess who served as bait for a sea monster so that the hero could kill it... or of the princess who served as bait for the hero so that a sea monster could eat him. The stories differ." She reached the bottom of the stairs. "But that's quite enough of things you ought to know already. I could have continued combing the town for you, after you escaped Ursa Major, but I thought it would be quicker to have you come to me."

"Did you tell the people in the cave to send me here?" Lucy demanded.

"Yes," Eiry said. "And they did, you see? Because they already know which of us will win."

"Right," Lucy said, and threw Andromeda at her. It hit Eiry square in the forehead. Lucy was close behind. As Eiry tumbled back onto the steps with a startled cry, Lucy yanked the real book from her arms.

"Open! Gate of the Clock, Horologium!"

Horologium materialised. Lucy whacked Eiry across the face with the spine of the book and flung it over her shoulder. "Horologium! Catch!" The book was sucked into his internal cavity with a pop. "Gate of the Clock! Close!"

"That was qui-" Horologium said, and vanished. Lucy scrambled away up the steps, panting for breath.

Eiry scrabbled to her feet, choking back a snarl. Her elegant updo had unravelled and her white dress was covered in dust and grit from the floor. Then she just covered her mouth with one hand and laughed.

"What?" Lucy demanded.

"I completed the circle half an hour ago," Eiry said. "I would have cast it by now, if I hadn't been concerned that you would appear halfway through!"

Lucy stared at her, mouth hanging open. Eiry smiled. Lucy swore, and ran. She flew up the stairs, hearing the Canes Venatici howl behind her as she did, and down a gallery where the moon threw squares of light on the floor through the shattered windows.

"Open," she gasped, "Gate of the Serpent! Serpens!" Serpens materialised. Lucy threw him her keys and yelled "Get them out of here!" He caught the ring in his mouth and dived for one of the holes in the wooden panelling. The keyring jammed on the edges for a moment but Serpens twisted, there was a rattling sound and he was gone. The end of his tail whisked into the hole. One of the hounds snaps its jaws closed on empty air. The other one tackled Lucy to the ground.

Lucy hit the floor and skidded, tearing skin from her knees and palms. For a moment the dog's weight was heavy on her back, and then Eiry grabbed her by the hair and hauled her up. Lucy screamed.

Eiry dragged her back down the gallery and into a room lit with dozens of candles. Lucy screwed up her eyes against the light. "The chapel," Eiry said. She was breathing heavily. "It's a little crass, but that wasn't my intention. It's simply the easiest to light."

Lucy cracked her eyes open and squinted around. The glow of the candles overhead gleamed on stained glass windows but showed the cracks in the wall plaster and the moth-eaten holes in the carpets. The altar on the dais at the far end had been covered over with a sheet, and the old pews had been pushed to the sides of the room to leave space for the summoning seal.

Lucy stared at the circle. She couldn't make any sense of it. It was just a tangle of lines and circles and curving trails of dots, and the dull reddish-brown stuff it was painted in-

"Is that blood?" Lucy demanded, and tried to scramble further away from it.

"Yes. Naturally." Eiry sighed as if the theatrics were rather wearing on her.

"Whose?" Lucy tried to push herself up to her knees.

"You're very talkative," Eiry said, and whacked her in the stomach with Caelum. Lucy doubled up, wheezing. "Where are your keys?"

"I won't tell you," Lucy gasped. Where was Serpens? She'd meant for him to go back to the stellar spirit world! "I know what you're doing! You're trying to summon a chthonian and-"

"Hardly," Eiry cut in. "'Chthonian' means 'of or relating to the underworld'. The correct term is 'outer gods'."

"Don't act like that's important!" Lucy flared up. "You're planning to feed everyone's souls to a demon so you can control them with magic! That's insane!"

"I'll concede it's a little drastic, but I object to _insane_," Eiry said. "If I were trying to build an enormous sugarcube castle so that I could control people with magic, that would be insane." She hefted Caelum with both hands, and then brought it down hard across Lucy's back. Lucy doubled over and covered her head with her arms. "Where. Are. Your. Keys?" She punctuated each word with a blow from the flat edge of the chisel.

"I wouldn't tell you if I knew!" Lucy shouted. Her mouth tasted like metal. She thought she'd bitten into her tongue. "This is about your dad, isn't it? He got run out of town so you're avenging him?"

"Shut up!" Eiry barked.

"That's the least of my concerns. I don't have the slightest interest in-" Her face clouded over. "He was an unpleasant man. Always so vulgar, and resentful and controlling-" She broke off and swung Caelum up to rest against her shoulder. "He was a failure. I don't mean to be."

"You're trying to prove that you're better than him?" Lucy rasped. "Controlling – you're still letting him control you when he's dead! You-"

Eiry hit her again. Lucy doubled up with a cry of pain.

"You talk too much," Eiry said. "Fine. I'll find your keys later." She turned to the circle.

"Stop it!" Lucy screamed. There was the rattle of metal falling. Eiry looked over her shoulder with a frown.

"What was that?" Lucy'd recognised it. It was the sound of her keys falling.

Ice water trickled down her spine. Couldn't Serpens just have gone back to the stellar spirit world? What was he doing? It was only when Eiry went to investigate that Lucy realised Serpens was giving her a distraction.

Eiry scanned the room and went out onto the gallery. Lucy dragged herself slowly – agonisingly slowly, glacier slowly – across the floor to the summoning circle. She thought she could hear Eiry coming back. She pressed two fingers to the blood dripping from her mouth and drew on one extra line, and then she clambered back to her feet and staggered away from the circle. She had nearly reached the door when Eiry reopened it. She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, full points for tenacity," she said, and then swung Caelum straight into Lucy's solar plexus with both hands. Lucy was knocked right off her feet into the wall. She slid down the wall into a heap.

Eiry watched her for a moment to see if she would move again. She didn't.

"Close, Gate of the Chisel," Eiry said. Caelum shimmered and disappeared. Eiry turned to the circle with grim determination on her face, and then paused. She glanced back.

"What did you say?"

"-changed the circle," Lucy said, and let out a ragged laugh.

Eiry spun to look at her. The blood drained from her face. "You're lying."

"'m not!" Lucy levered herself up on one elbow. Eiry... actually looked scared. "Uh," Lucy said. "So what happens if the summoning goes wrong?"

That was probably something Lucy should have wondered about earlier.

Eiry's mouth set into a hard line. "Do you realise how much I've put into this place? I can't quit now," she said.

"That's not true! You can stop!" Lucy protested. "You can just not do this! Eiry!"

Eiry ignored her and stepped into the circle. "You wouldn't have had the time."

"Please, don't!" Lucy screamed. The lines on the floor began to glow.

For a moment it seemed that nothing was happening, and then Lucy became aware of a high persistant whine between her ears, a plucked wire reverberating inside her skull. A foul oily stench trickled down the back of her throat. "What is this?" she rasped. Was this the presence of an Outer God? Did it mean she'd failed?

Of course it did. There was never any alternative. She'd failed, again, and everyone would suffer because she wasn't good enough. She'd never been good enough, she'd never been more than a joke in Phantom Lord, she'd never been good for anything except to be a pretty doll her father could trade off for a business contract – Lucy choked on misery and clutched at her head. What was this despair? It was hard to think, as if she were drunk. The floor shifted under her feet. The world turned around her.

Eiry screamed, and reached for her keys. "Open! Gate of the Lure, Andromeda!" The ball of light that appeared in response wriggled and transformed into... Eiry herself?

"No," Lucy gasped. She was trying to get the monster to take Andromeda instead of herself!

"... no fair," Eiry-Andromeda protested weakly, and then screamed and crumpled to the floor. Her back arched like her spine was snapping inside her. Lucy struggled to her hands and knees and crawled towards the circle. "You can't do that!" She lurched and fell into Andromeda. She clutched at the stellar spirit's shoulders. Andromeda convulsed under her hands. Lucy felt... it wasn't feeling, it wasn't anything she could see or hear or smell, but she knew its attention was on them. On Andromeda. She screamed. "No! You can't!" There was a pressure in her head like a vise closing on it. She could hear Eiry screaming but she didn't know if it was Eiry or Andromeda.

"No," Lucy wailed again, but it was hopeless, she was yelling into a storm, there was nothing she could do to save Andromeda, there was nothing she could do to save herself, and Lucy collapsed under the weight of the insane misery that was lacerating deep wounds into her soul... and exposing the steel at its core.

"NO! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!" Lucy dragged herself back to her knees. "I'm a mage of Phantom Lord's First Division! You have no idea what you're fucking with!" Andromeda was a deadweight slumped against her. Lucy couldn't see anything but the chapel and candlelight, but she knew what was there. Her eyes were only lying to her; she closed them tight and understood. The thing here, filling up the chapel like noxious smoke, sliding into her lungs with every breath, was barely a fragment of a vast whole like a stream running to an unfathomably deep ocean. On the other side of the gate lay an abyss.

Fine.

Lucy slammed the gate closed, and severed the connection. The glow of the circle died. A high piercing noise rang through her head, the sound of a nail on a chalkboard infinitely extended, as the remnant of the outer god convulsed. Lucy raked her hands through the air, fingers hooked into claws, and felt her magic snag on the monster's remains. It felt strangely familiar - almost like a stellar spirit, a thing that was made only of magic. She could feel it struggling to escape her grip. Lucy dragged it inside her own power. It was like swallowing poison; she could feel dull inhuman tendrils reaching into the core of her magic and the sour taste of oil rising in the back of her throat. She grit her teeth and buried the thing in her power, smothered it like quicksand and slowly, inexorably, like a cigarette stub under her boot heel, she ground it out of existence.

Lucy opened her eyes and breathed in clean untainted air. In her arms, Andromeda shuddered and dissolved into starlight. Lucy shut her eyes and, very slowly, fell over.

* * *

Lucy woke up, rolled over with a sleepy yawn, and saw Eiry. She was still lying in the circle, unmoving. Lucy clambered to her feet – ow, her spine, this was why people had invented mattresses – and crept over to her, ready to run if Eiry so much as breathed funny.

She was breathing, but her eyes were closed. Lucy poked her in the ribs. Eiry didn't react. Lucy opened Eiry's eyes. She lay there, staring at nothing, without blinking. Lucy closed Eiry's eyes again and took her keys from her belt. The Canes Venatici helped her find her keyring, in one of the dustiest most cobwebbed cracks in the walls. Lucy offered them their own key in exchange.

They decided she could keep it, and went back to the stellar spirit world. Lucy scrubbed a hand across her eyes, because the dust was making them water.

After a moment's hesitation, she pulled down one of the moth-eaten curtains and settled it over Eiry's body and under her head. Then she left. She walked back into town and, for lack of any better idea, back to the cafe.

"I'm sorry, we're not open yet," said the young man putting out the tables. Lucy walked straight past him and let herself in. "Hello!" she greeted the cafe manager, with a happy wave. He dropped an entire tray of glasses. "I'm not dead!"

Lucy dropped the cheer. "Eiry's not going to be a problem any more. That'll be three hundred thousand jewel, please."

The manager goggled at her. "I don't have that kind of money!"

Lucy was not remotely in the mood for a long argument, so she decided to take a page out of Gajeel's book instead. She hooked a chair with her foot, dragged it over, sat down and put her feet up on a table. The manager opened his mouth to protest. Lucy folded her arms and fixed him with a cold glare. "Find me someone who does."

The cafe manager obeyed. When he came back, he brought a gaggle of people with tousled hair and crumpled suits. The foremost of them was a tall grey-haired man with a thin desiccated face. He looked like a mummy animated with dark magic. Lucy had seen a lot of accountants, though, and that was normal for them. Lucy continued clicking Eiry's keys onto her own keyring and murmuring to herself. "...Caelum, Auriga, Ursa Minor – that explains that – Musca, Ursa Major-" She broke off and looked up.

"You the people with my money?"

"She's got Eiry's keys," one of them whispered, and the rest of the formed a frightened little huddle.

The accountant sat opposite her. "Good morn-"

"Cut out the small talk," Lucy growled.

"Very well." He steepled his fingers. "As I understand it, you came here in response to a request placed by Mrs Leviva Nulsho. Sadly, Mrs Nulsho and her family are missing and presumed dead. You cannot expect to be paid for a job when the requester is deceased."

"The Nulshos are in a cave next to the cliff with the tire swing," Lucy said. She thought about asking for some metal to eat but then remembered she couldn't actually do that.

"Alive?"

"Last I checked," Lucy drawled. "Ya dried-up bastard. Gihihihi!" ...that just sounded ridiculous. How did Gajeel laugh like that without sounding ridiculous? Was it just that he was seven feet tall and carrying a ton of metal around in his face? Because if so Lucy thought that was cheating.

Lucy dropped the Gajeel act and said flatly, "I don't care who placed the request. I wouldn't care if they were dead. I won't leave until I get paid, and if you thought Eiry was bad you have _no idea_ how nasty Phantom Lord mages can get."

"I see," the accountant said slowly. "Still, she isn't likely to have that much money to hand-"

"She should have thought of that before she posted the reward, then," Lucy said. "It's not my problem."

"Would you accept payment in instalments?"

Instead of answering, Lucy drummed her fingers impatiently on Ursa Major's key. The accountant wilted. "...I'll have the money collected and brought here."

"Plus an extra five hundred jewel," Lucy added. "I need a new hat."

* * *

Lucy dropped her ice knuckleduster into a tall glass of water and set it at the opposite end of the table. Little waves slopped over the rim of the glass with the rocking motion of the train. Lucy settled back into her seat. Her back was resting against a bag containing exactly three hundred thousand five hundred jewel. She'd tipped off the soldiers in Box Town about Eiry; Lucy didn't know if she'd end up in a hospital or a mental institution, but so long as she didn't starve to death lying on the floor in the chapel Lucy thought she'd done her bit. Serpens was coiled around her, basking in her body heat. Lucy stroked his head gently. She was thinking about partnership and about how jealous she'd been, and she'd decided that she'd been wrong. Lucy'd never worked alone even one day since she'd left home. Her spirits were always with her, and they'd never let her down. Weren't they her real partners? Everyone else in Phantom Lord was just people who happened to be in her same guild, and Lucy wouldn't let her spirits get hurt to help them. And if anyone had a problem with that, then Taurus could axe them in the face.

She focused her attention on the ice knuckleduster and slowly fed power into its magical reservoir. Slow, slow, careful, don't just bludgeon it with power – There was an audible creak, and the water froze solid.

Lucy tipped her head back against the window of the train, closed her eyes and – for the first time in a long time – she smiled.


	7. Highly Illegal

Rain trickled down the back of Lucy's neck. She was standing in the yard at the back of the guildhall, facing off with another first-divisioner. He was a tall young man, maybe a couple of years older than her, with a red crewcut and cutoff jeans, and he thought having young blonde ladies with excellent figures around made Phantom look like a joke. 'Young blonde ladies with excellent figures' was not the phrase he'd used. Well, Lucy couldn't allow people to disrespect her like that, could she?

The rest of Oak Town branch was standing around the walls, watching. Gajeel cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled "Get on with it!"

Lucy spun her keys in her hand. "Open, Gate of the Chisel! Caelum! Sword Form!" Caelum's hilt dropped into her outstretched palm. The red-haired mage stamped one of his bare feet against the ground. "Material Absorption: Concrete!" His body bulged and distorted. His skin turned rough and grey.

"Oh man, this is going to be tragic," Sue said, and broke out the popcorn.

Lucy sliced a key through the air with her free hand. "Open, Gate of the Bull! Taurus!"

Taurus appeared, bellowing. "Miss Lucy's figure is the best!"

"I know! Can you believe this jerk doesn't agree?" Lucy said, and pointed. "Taurus, cut him down to size!"

Taurus charged. The absorption mage raised both hands, index fingers extended like guns. "Elemental Darts!" Shards of concrete blasted from his fingertips. Taurus deflected them with his axe and the shards buried themselves an inch deep in the wall of the guildhall instead.

Taurus swung his axe at the absorption mage's head. The absorption mage grabbed the blade of the axe as Taurus brought it whistling down and tried to yank it out of his hands. It bit shards from his hands.

"Concrete can't beat iron!" Lucy shouted at him.

"This is the Iron Dragon's branch!" he yelled back. "You think we don't have enough iron around?" He let go of the axe and fired off a volley of concrete shards that Lucy dived flat to avoid.

The absorption mage raced for the other end of the yard, where there was an iron girder propped up against the wall. Lucy wailed dramatically and clutched at her face. The absorption mage grabbed the iron girder. "Element Absorption: Iron!" The upper layers of his concrete skin exploded into powder and were replaced by smooth metal. He laughed and clenched his hands into fists. "Want to try that axe now, cow man?"

Lucy laughed, too, and let the moment of surprise stretch out a little longer before she said "Andromeda, change target! Sue!" There was some loud swearing and a fine spray of popcorn shrapnel from Sue's direction, and then the iron girder turned into a slice of strawberry cake. The iron mage staggered as his metal skin turned into fluffy icing rapidly dissolving in the rain. Strawberries studded his face like Gajeel's piercings.

"Is it just me who wants to eat that guy's head right now?" Sue said.

"Yeah, it's just you," said Bozo.

Lucy waded in with the flat edge of Caelum's blade. With every blow whipped cream splattered the floor of the yard and soon Caelum was stained red with strawberry juice. Lucy knocked the cake mage's knees out from under him and put her boot between his shoulderblades as he sprawled face-down on the floor. She leant on Caelum.

"Which of us is the joke, again?"

The cake mage just groaned.

Well, Lucy considered that an overwhelming victory. "Woo!" She high-fived Taurus. "Andromeda, leave target!" Andromeda returned to what Lucy thought was her default form, a brown-skinned little girl with long dark hair, a white dress and chains wound around her arms and upper body. Lucy offered her a high-five as well. Andromeda looked at Lucy, and then down at the chains pinning her arms to her chest. Lucy gave her a hug instead.

"Great job, both of you!" She dismissed Andromeda and Caelum, and swaggered back to Gajeel and Sue. "I set that up half an hour ago," she bragged.

"Huh," Gajeel growled. "Can't you win a fight without half an hour to plan it, princess?"

"Well, I didn't expect you to appreciate anything more complicated than 'see guy, hit guy'," Lucy said with a pout. Gajeel swung a casual punch at her; it sailed through the air a foot above her head.

"Hey," Lucy said, mildly annoyed. She hadn't bothered to duck.

"Run your mouth off again and I'll hit you properly next time," Gajeel growled.

"Okay, okay," Lucy said, and stepped back with her hands raised. "Sheesh..." That was when she realised there was a woman she didn't recognise standing on Gajeel's other side. She had blue hair curled into a perfect circle at the ends, she wore a long navy coat trimmed with fur and she was the only person in the yard who'd thought to bring an umbrella with her. Lucy tipped her head on one side. "Who's this?" With that smart coat and that coolly blank expression she looked like she ought to be in charge of something. A visiting subdivision head or something?

"Juvia, this's some blonde princess," Gajeel drawled. "There's no food out here, I'm going inside." He kicked the back door open and went in out of the rain.

Lucy blanched. "...Juvia of the _Deep_?" She was one of the Element Four! She was the strongest female mage in Phantom Lord!

"Good morning," Juvia said. "Juvia is very pleased to meet you." She was looking at Lucy oddly. Lucy frantically tried to figure out what she was doing wrong.

"Good morning!" she said, her voice much higher than usual. "I'm Lucy Ashley! It's nice to meet you too!"

"Is work going well?" Juvia inquired.

"Aye!" Lucy chirped. Wait, what? Why did she say _aye_? Was her brain melting out of her ears? "Well, it's been lovely talking to you, I really hope we can do it again sometime-"

"Juvia is about to go on a mission that Lucy can help with, actually," Juvia said. "Juvia would be very happy if Lucy joined her."

"Oh," Lucy said. "Uh. That's not... I don't think..."

An hour later she was sitting in a train carriage bound for Brownian Town with Juvia of the Deep.

How had _that_ happened?! She had so much she needed to do! Well not so much to do considering that the job in Cypress Town had paid her bills for the next few months, but she'd wanted to write a few more chapters and another letter to her mother now that she could send her good news without lying, and she wanted to work on making friends with Ursa Major some more – it was a complicated process, which mostly consisted of throwing Ursa Minor at the Great Bear and then hiding while Ursa Major yelled at her to back off or die or, the last few days, that she was too skinny and needed to eat some damn food. (Lucy kind of wanted to summon Ursa Major and Aquarius together and watch them fight about whether she was too fat or too skinny.)

She pulled a book from her bag and lifted it up to cover her face. What could she do? It wasn't like she even wanted to be on this mission. It wasn't like she even knew what the mission-

"Juvia is reading that book, too!"

"Really?" Lucy said, astonished, and looked at the front of the book to make sure it hadn't changed. Juvia of the Deep was into romance novels?

"Yes!" Juvia nodded, and added "Juvia thinks Mr Darcy is very nice."

Lucy raised an eyebrow. "Oooh, you like them bossy and aloof, do you?" Juvia went pink. Lucy giggled. "But wasn't he awful to Wickham?"

Juvia's face darkened. "Juvia thinks Mr Wickham is up to nothing good. Juvia does not trust him."

"What? I think he seems like fun," Lucy said.

"Juvia thinks he is planning something," Juvia said. "Juvia thinks he is planning to shame Elizabeth's family so that she and Mr Darcy can never be together!" She shook her head violently. "Unforgivable! Unforgivable!" The rain battered at the windows as if in answer.

"If he didn't want Elizabeth and Darcy to get together, couldn't he just let Darcy keep talking?" Lucy murmured, but not loudly enough that Juvia could hear her. Obviously when it came to romance the Element Four mage had a highly overactive imagination. Lucy smiled a little and changed the subject. "So what's this mission about?"

Juvia snapped back to all-business so fast it gave Lucy whiplash. "Three Blue Pegasus mages are attempting to complete a mission within Phantom Lord's territory, and a duo from Subdivision Fourteen who wish to be promoted to First Division have been assigned to stop them. Juvia will be observing."

Lucy scrunched up her face. "So this is, like, an exam?" Wasn't attacking members of another guild illegal? Juvia must have a really good plan to deal with that. "So what am I doing here?"

"Attacking members of another guild is highly illegal. It's very important that somebody make sure no blame can settle on Phantom Lord, should something go wrong."

"And you'll be... busy?"

"Juvia will be observing," Juvia said primly.

Lucy _observed_ that Juvia was getting a better deal there.

When they arrived at Brownian Town, Lucy wandered out of the station to look around while Juvia waited inside for the mages from Subdivision Fourteen. Gulls shrieked overhead and a sea wind made the awnings of the shops flap. The streets were narrow and the buildings on either side were taller than the ones in Oak Town, so that they cut out everything except a strip of dull grey cloud.

Lucy bought herself an umbrella in a corner shop, because the rainclouds overhead didn't look as if they were going anywhere. She lingered over a cute blue Heart Kreuz model but finally sighed and plumped for a plain dark green one. Outside, a hill with a railing overlooked the sea and the roofs of the town. Lucy opened her umbrella and leant on the railing.

She realised very suddenly that someone was standing behind her. She whirled around. There were two men standing behind her, and one had a knife at her throat.

The two of them and the railing at her back cut off any escape. Lucy glanced between them. They were both curly-haired and wearing tank tops. "No funny business, baby, just hand over your purse," one of them drawled.

Lucy stepped forward and through them. They flickered out.

"Show yourself!" she yelled. "Guys wearing vests in this weather, was that supposed to fool me?"

"Tch," someone said. Lucy looked around quickly, but didn't see

"Don't whine, she got you," said someone else. Two mages emerged from behind an illusionary veil – it looked as if they'd stepped out of thin air – and stood glowering at her. "Who're you, then?" The shorter one had a Phantom Lord guild mark on his forearm. Lucy's own stamp was covered up; thanks to the rain, she was wearing the only actual sweatshirt she owned. She looked appallingly unstylish, but then nobody else looked any better so Lucy had almost given up caring.

"I'm a mage of Phantom Lord's First Division," Lucy snapped, "which means I ask the questions! Are you the guys from Fourteen?" She folded her arms and glared at them. They bristled.

"So what if we are?" the taller of the two countered. He had spiky dark-blue hair that added a few more inches to his height, and a heavy gold chain around his neck apparently to make his standard Phantom uniform of dark red shirt, dark pants and fur-trimmed jacket more unique. The other pushed his shaggy charcoal-grey hair out of his eyes, stuck his hands in his pockets and bounced on the balls of his feet. He nearly vibrated with nervous energy.

"Do you want to fight?" he demanded. He spoke so quickly it took Lucy a second to work out what he'd said. "There's two of us and one of you. You want to go for it?"

Lucy couldn't back down from a pair of subdivision mages! She reached for her keys.

"Drip, drip, drop," Juvia murmured. Lucy yanked her hand back from her keys and pretended she was never reaching for them in the first place.

"Juvia was expecting to meet you inside the station," Juvia said to the subdivisioners.

"Yeah, well, we were waiting out here and we saw her wandering around so we... figured we'd... we were only having a joke," the tall one said. He'd started out all aggressive and then his voice petered out under Juvia's stare. "Who is she, anyway?"

"This is Lucy Ashley," Juvia said. She didn't elaborate on what Lucy was doing there.

Lucy folded her arms again. "So who are you?"

"I'm Byrrick," the tall one said.

"Osmurand. Osmurand Sais. I'm a water mage," the shorter one said. "I like water cannons." He bounced up and down on the balls of his feet again and shot Juvia a sidelong look. Byrrick must be the illusionist, then.

Juvia looked them over, looked around – there was nobody out, of course, because who would want to be out in this rain? - and without any preamble began to brief the three of them.

"Two days ago, three Blue Pegasus mages arrived in this town. They haven't departed by train, by ship or through the city gates, according to the informants Master Jose maintains in this town. Nor has anything been reported which would suggest that they have completed their mission. It is not known what that mission is, but they seem to have been following reports of fraudulent vegetables."

"Fraudulent vegetables?" Byrrick repeated in disbelief. "God, that's boring. They couldn't be doing something interesting, like stealing magical artifacts?"

"What do you mean, fraudulent vegetables?" Lucy said.

"A person is selling vegetables which subsequently disappear," Juvia said.

Byrrick was right. That was boring.

Seriously, fraudulent vegetables.

"Your priorities should be to find the Blue Pegasus mages and discover what they're trying to do," Juvia reminded them all coolly. "You may need to complete their mission after you incapacitate them."

Lucy scrunched up her face. So they were chasing some sort of creation-magic mage? Byrrick was thinking hard, too.

"Where's the market in this craphole?" he said.

Brownian Town's market was in a covered gallery. Overhead, the rain beat down on acres of glass supported by massive iron beams. Below, Lucy shook her umbrella off and furled it. There were stalls selling fruit and vegetables, butchers' stalls, and dozens of fishmongers. There were even traders from foreign countries hawking carved ivory from Iceberg and intricately-woven rugs from Desierto. There were a lot of soldiers around, too. Everywhere Lucy looked she saw blue and yellow stripes. The subdivisioners were glowering, but Lucy wasn't sure if that was because they were still annoyed about the fraudulent vegetables or because like most Phantom mages their faces had just got stuck like that after a while.

She tried to make conversation. "This is gloomy, isn't it?" If she were them, she would take it as a bad omen. "It was raining like this in Oak Town this morning, too."

The two subdivisioners looked at her like she was stupid. "Yeah, it was raining in Oak Town this morning," Byrrick said. "You do know it's Juvia behind it, right?"

"What?" Lucy blinked at him.

"Juvia makes it rain everywhere she goes. Everyone knows that." Nobody'd told Lucy that. Whenever Sue or Bozo was talking about Juvia of the Deep, they tended to look over their shoulder for Gajeel, look at Ryos, and then carefully refrain from saying anything uncomplimentary. Why would Juvia want to do that? It didn't seem friendly.

"I like it," Osmurand said. "Ammo, yeah?" He elbowed through the crowd to a greengrocer's stall and leant over it. "Are these vegetables legit?" he demanded.

"...what?" said the stallkeeper.

Osmurand jabbed a finger at a tub of cauliflowers. "Are these like fraudulent vegetables? Are they real, is what?"

"...just what the hell are you accusing me of?" the stallkeeper demanded. "They're cauliflowers!"

Byrrick stomped up behind Osmurand and whacked him across the back of the head. "We're Phantom Lord mages, so don't bother yelling for the soldiers," he told the stallkeeper. "What do you know about a gang of Blue Pegasus guys hanging around here?"

The stallkeeper looked very much about to call the soldiers. Lucy hurriedly slunk away. If they wanted to get in trouble they were welcome, but she didn't want to join them. The soldiers standing around looked keyed-up enough that they might even try to arrest the pair of them.

Lucy sidled up to the one who looked most bored. He was leaning against a wall and idly scratching the back of his neck through his coif. "Hey," she greeted him, faking ignorance, "why are there so many of you around today?" He frowned at her. Lucy twiddled a strand of hair around her fingers. "I only got here yesterday, I'm just visiting my gran. I didn't hear anything about this being, like, a high crime area-"

"It's not!" the soldier corrected her. "Brownian's a good place. There's some _out-of-towner_ around, causing trouble." He scowled and looked the crowd over as if he might be able to pick the troublemaker out by his barbarian horned helmet.

"No!" Lucy said, and dropped her voice to a sultry murmur. "What's going on?"

The soldier stopped glowering and just frowned at her. "You don't sound well. Do you need a drink?"

"...no, I'm good, thanks," Lucy said. Why did her feminine wiles never work? Maybe he was gay. Maybe _all_ of them were gay. "So what's going on?"

"We've heard they're a highly dangerous mage," the soldier told her. "There's a few people prowling around today who'll recognise them, though. It'll probably turn into a fight. You'd be best off running home to your grandma." He looked around. Lucy could see him mentally totting up the number of people there and the number of exits and rehearsing the evacuation plan in his head. Then he swore.

"What is it?" Lucy asked, and became abruptly aware that the noise had changed, gone from the omnipresent rapidfire babble of haggling and gossip to focused on the centre of the market. The other two had done something stupid, hadn't they? She scrambled onto the next stall over's tall pile of Desiertan rugs, ignoring the merchant's complaints, and straightened up to see over the crowd. A space had cleared and the crowd was hurriedly scrambling away from it. The soldier was already gone. Lucy jumped down and shoved a path through the throng towards the circle of empty space.

What she saw when she emerged into it was a shopkeeper hanging onto a redheaded youth, a trio of young women and the soldiers fanning out to surround them.

The young man shook off the shopkeeper, looked between the soldiers and the young women (the Blue Pegasus mages?) and said "Aw, hell, this ain't going to be much fun."

"Finally!" the leader of the young women barked. She had round pink cheeks and brown hair in braids, and she wore a blue-and-pink tunic with laced sandals. She kept a flute in a sheath on her belt like a sword, and her teeth were bared. "Do you know how long we've been chasing you, Vanderwood?" _Definitely_ the Blue Pegasus mages. And this was the guy they'd been hunting for? Why? He didn't look like much. Ginger hair, big blue eyes, freckles, good-looking in a farmboy sort of way. Lucy looked at the Blue Pegasus mages. One of the other two had deep brown skin, cornrowed hair and vast sky-blue eyes; she wore a star-patterned kimono jacket with a miniskirt and balanced nervously on one foot with the fingers of her other hand pressed to her mouth. The other was anonymous in a long dark hooded robe and unadorned tragedy mask. She stood silently with her hands clasped behind her back.

"It wasn't never my intention to be causing you ladies any inconvenience," Vanderwood said.

"Good job with that, turnip boy," their leader growled. She was looking around. "So where is-"

"Water Cannon!"

Lucy yelped. The Blue Pegasi's leader leapt backwards out of the way of the blast of water, which sent a pair of soldiers flying. The crowd scattered, shrieking. The rest of the soldiers fell back. Lucy couldn't blame them. None of them would be mages; any mage who wanted to join the military would go for the Rune Knights, who paid a lot better.

"Who the hell are you?" the leader demanded.

"We're Phantom Lord," Byrrick sneered, "and you're in our territory here. Who the hell do you think you are?" Had he seriously just... he'd seriously just announced that they were Phantom mages in front of two dozen soldiers! Lucy groaned. What was he thinking? Didn't he realise how illegal this was?! Osmurand hadn't even covered up his Phantom stamp!

"You have no idea who you're screwing with, do you?" their leader demanded. "We're the Muses of Blue Pegasus, asshole! Euterpe, Urania and Melpomene!"

Oooh! Lucy'd read a review of one of their gigs in Weekly Sorceror! Euterpe of the Flute, Urania of the Heavens – that must be the one in the star-patterned kimono – and Melpomene the bass guitarist! That last one wasn't especially helpful as nicknames went.

"Never heard of you," Byrrick said.

"Is that supposed to be scary?" Osmurand asked. "Are we supposed to be scared?"

"What the hell is that, a flute?" Byrrick said, gesturing to the instrument hanging from Euterpe's belt. "Music magic's shit, it's only good for support."

Euterpe bristled.

"More like Eu_derp_e," Osmurand said. "Hahaha. Because her name sounds like derp."

"Yeah, Os, I got that," Byrrick said.

"...oh screw this, let's just kick their asses," Euterpe said. Urania stretched out her arms, crossed at the wrists.

"Meteor Pursuit!" Darts of yellow light burst from her hands and shot after Osmurand. Osmurand called up a shield of water, and when the glowing darts hit it it exploded into steam that billowed through the market, obscuring everything. Lucy fumbled for her keys and whispered urgently "Open, Gate of the Bull! Taurus!"

"Miss Lucy! Your body looks-" Taurus's bellow reverberated off the walls. "...where are you?"

"Taurus! Don't say anything!" Lucy yelled.

Green light sliced through the fog, Taurus yelled, and there was a crash that sounded very much like Taurus landing on a market stall and splintering it into dust. The steam cleared just long enough for Lucy to see Taurus hauling himself up out of the wreckage of a florist's stall with a garland of flowers looped over one of his horns, and Melpomene charging up green energy around her hands, before Byrrick shouted "Veil of Illusion!" and everything was drowned out by grey fog. "What are you doing?" Lucy wailed. He didn't have to cast it on her, too!

"Won't help!" Urania sang out. "Meteor Pursuit!"

Yellow flashed in the corners of Lucy's eyes. The impact flung her off her feet, knocked the air out of her lungs and left her wheezing on the floor twenty feet away. Homing magic? Euterpe blew a single high note which cut through the fog and sliced Byrrick's spell to pieces. The illusion collapsed. What was left of it looked like wandering threadbare grey bedsheets.

Byrrick swore, dropped to one knee and pressed one palm against the ground. "Black Wyvern Summon!" A magical seal blossomed around his hand and billowed smoke. A massive green monster rose out of the ground and turned solid. For a moment Lucy thought Byrrick had really summoned something, until the wyvern tried to move and its limbs lost all connection to its body. Its tail hung in the air three feet above its back and its huge feet with their disemboweling claws slid off to the right of its body. Urania let out a peal of delighted laughter, raced through the illusion and slammed her open hand into Byrrick's face. "Heaven Palm!" The impact hurled Byrrick off his feet. He hit the ground, rolled, and lay limp like a rag doll.

Euterpe was playing a song that made everything look shaky. Lucy could barely focus on her. Osmurand's water blasts were missing by miles. He cursed and started firing Water Cannons wildly in Euterpe's general direction. Market stalls splintered under the assault. "Heaven's Shield!" Urania shouted. A golden seal bloomed in front of her just in time to catch one of the water blasts. Euterpe ducked behind it with her.

Whatever spell Euterpe had cast, it had affected Taurus as well. When he swung his axe at Melpomene it sailed harmlessly over her head. She stepped in close as Taurus swung his axe back to strike again and hit him in the gut with a fistful of green energy. The blast threw Melpomene back and flung Taurus, all two hundred and fifty pounds of Taurus, into the air and into one of the iron girders holding up the ceiling. "Gate of the Bull! Close!" Lucy shouted before he could hit the ground. Melpomene half-turned and swiped one hand casually through the air, releasing an arc of green energy that slammed into Osmurand right under the ribs. He crashed through a stall and didn't get up again.

"Thanks, Mel!" Urania called, and dispelled her shield.

That left Lucy, all alone, against the three of them. "Gate of the Chisel, open!" Caelum dropped into her hands. Lucy spun to gain momentum and flung it upwards. Caelum smashed through the ceiling. Glass shards fell like rain. Lucy ran for cover and dived under a market stall just in time to hear a dozen sharp fragments thud into the wood above her head. Through a crack in the stall front, she saw Melpomene throw up a crackling green shield that consumed all the glass falling towards the Muses.

Euterpe straightened up and looked around. "Where'd she go?"

"Oh!" Urania said, and pointed. Lucy tensed, but she wasn't pointing towards Lucy. "Frank ran away!"

"What?" Euterpe wheeled around. "Dammit!" She slammed her fist against her other palm. "It's my fault. I should have-"

"There was no helping it. They attacked us." The quiet voice issued from the darkness behind Melpomene's mask.

"Well-" Euterpe threw her hands up in frustration. "Let's go, quick. Someone outside might have seen which way he went." They left.

Lucy wriggled out from behind the stall, stood and looked around. Rain was coming through the holes in the ceiling, and her brand-new umbrella was lying on the floor. She had landed on it when Urania's Meteor Pursuit had thrown her off her feet, and two of the ribs had snapped. Also lying on the floor were Byrrick and Osmurand, who had been incredibly lucky not to have been shredded by the falling glass unless Melpomene had shielded them as well. The soldiers were mostly fallen in a heap near the closest exit. Lucy lifted her head and scanned the market. Juvia was standing well back, observing. She was almost perfectly hidden behind a rack of scarves, that is unless you noticed the big pink umbrella sticking up above it. Juvia stepped out from behind the rack and walked purposefully towards Lucy, her heels click-clacking on the floor. Lucy ground her teeth together and turned to face her, fists clenched, ready for an argument.

"Will your cow man make a full recovery?" Juvia asked.

Lucy stuttered, caught off her guard. "Y-yes? Taurus is really strong, he wouldn't be badly hurt just from that!"

"Juvia is pleased." Juvia looked around at the wreckage and said, "Juvia thinks this could have gone better." She looked at Lucy.

"Um," Lucy said. "Yes?" Juvia was still looking at her. Was this some sort of test? There wasn't anything they could have done except attack them, and even though that Vanderwood guy had got away that was better than having him captured by the Muses. "They should have targeted the support mage first, and they definitely shouldn't have said they were in Phantom Lord?" Lucy guessed. Juvia nodded. Lucy breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Of course, Lucy could have advised them not to identify themselves as Phantom mages the first time that they did it," Juvia added.

"What?" Lucy protested. "I'm not obligated to save them from their mistakes!"

"Lucy is correct that she has no obligation to them," Juvia said, "but she is responsible for the success of the mission. Juvia is required to not intervene except in the direst circumstances. Lucy is expected to help."

Lucy bit back an angry response and ducked her head. "...fine. I'm sorry." Rain dripped off the end of her nose.

"Juvia does not mean to be rude," Juvia said. "Juvia thinks Lucy did well in the fight."

Lucy _hmf_ed, stalked over to the gutter and scooped up a stray turnip.

"Open, Gate of the Hunting Hounds! Canes Venatici!"

Misha and Boo (well, she'd had to name them something, right?) appeared in a flash and a burst of smoke. Misha barked in wild excitement and tried to climb up Lucy. Boo sat down and tried to pretend he didn't know Misha.

"Hey! Hey, calm down-" Lucy petted Misha's head. She immediately fell on the ground and rolled over to have her belly rubbed. Lucy obliged. Misha's tail wagged so hard it nearly fell off.

"What are you doing?" Juvia asked. Lucy ignored her and showed Boo the turnip instead.

"Could you find the guy who conjured this up?"

Misha scrambled up, sniffed the turnip, shot off, collided with a fishmonger's stall and fell over. Boo sniffed the turnip and headed with grim determination for the exit. Lucy followed Boo. Juvia followed Lucy to the exit, but Lucy didn't look back. The hounds led her through a maze of narrow streets. Boo trotted a little way ahead, and Misha alternated between tearing off far into the distance and racing back to Lucy's side. Lucy stopped briefly to buy another umbrella, not that it would help much considering her clothes were already soaked, her hair was plastered to her skull and her boots squelched with every step. The streets the hounds led her through grew narrower and the high buildings on either side seemed to lean over her. Finally they stopped outside a narrow, battered, run-down building. Rain sputtered from a blocked gutter. Several of the windows were broken and boarded up; one set of boards was painted with the slogan FETTER LANE LODGING HOUSE REASONABLE RATES.

Lucy thought that 'reasonable rates' would have to mean that they'd pay people to stay there.

"Are you sure?" she asked Misha and Boo. Misha yipped with excitement. Boo sat by the front door and waited for her. Lucy groaned, and kicked the front door open. She wasn't about to touch it with her hands. It opened into a narrow hallway stained with cigarette smoke. Even the light from the bare electric bulb seemed to have a brown tinge to it. Boo slid past her and trotted inside and up a flight of twisting rickety stairs. Lucy followed him with a grimace. An old woman stuck her head around a door at the far end of the hallway and hollered "You don't live here!"

"Just visiting!" Lucy yelled. Misha galloped after her.

"And no pets!" the woman roared.

"They're not pets," Lucy called back, and kept going. On the third floor Boo stopped outside a particular door. Misha joined him and barked wildly, apparently to get Lucy's attention in case she hadn't noticed it.

"What was that?" someone said, and Vanderwood opened the door. The sleeves of his checked shirt were rolled up. That revealed a Blue Pegasus guild stamp on his left forearm. That explained...

Lucy was actually not sure what that explained. Frank followed her gaze and instinctively covered the mark with his other hand.

"...anyway," Lucy said. "Hi! Can I come in?" She was gripping her keys tightly behind her back. 'Highly dangerous mage', the soldier had said, even if he did look like a total doofball. What'd he done, kill someone and feed them to his pigs?

"I'm thinking I remember you being with those Phantom Lords, ma'am," Frank said.

"Yup! I'm Lucy Ashley. Do you want to make a deal?"

"A deal?" Frank repeated, puzzled. "What sort of a deal?"

Lucy ignored that. "May I come in?"

Frank glanced around and then stepped back to let Lucy in. Lucy slid inside and scanned the room. It was a small room, holding only a double bed with rumpled sheets, a small window looking out onto a brick wall, and a door to a bathroom or a cupboard, which was left ajar. There was hardly enough space to swing Caelum or her whip, if she tried to summon Taurus his horns might crash through the ceiling, and it was Cancer's day off. Behind her back, she closed her fingers tight around Serpens' key. Frank stayed standing, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, and after a moment Lucy realised it was because she hadn't sat down.

"You're trying to get out of Fiore, right?" she asked. "We can help with that."

"Begging your pardon, ma'am," Frank said, "but I don't see as how you can, when the Muses have got people watching every way out of this place, and I can't see as why you would, either."

"We're not doing it just to help you out," Lucy said. "The Muses came into our territory, so we'd be trying to stop them whatever they were doing. And anyway, it's not like it's a problem for us if a Blue Pegasus mage wants to cause trouble and flee the country." Her grin was bright and conspiratorial. "You don't get to be the number-one guild without sabotaging the competition a little!"

"That's mighty kind of you, ma'am," Frank said, proving that even farmboys could master irony. "But I don't see as how you'd be planning to do such a thing."

"The ferry port," Lucy said. She was glad she'd flicked through some leaflets in the train station. As well as the commercial docks, Brownian Town had a ferry port that ran a service to the town of Vaish in Seven every morning. "We'll sneak in overnight, you stow away in a lifeboat or something and then when the ferry leaves you're home free... well, not home, maybe, but definitely free."

"There's four guards who watch the security checkpoint overnight, and Euterpe'll have paid them off to tell her they see so much as a peep of us," Frank said. "And if we caused any sort of a ruckus they would just stop the ferries running." _We_, Lucy noted. So he was at least thinking about agreeing. "Can't hardly swim out to it neither. The water's powerful cold and full of diresharks."

Lucy laughed. "We've got an illusionist, remember? We'll sneak through!"

Frank's forehead creased up. He chewed on his lower lip. "Well, I'd sure like to trust you, miss, but-"

"But what?" Lucy said. "What else are you going to do? Wait to be dragged back to Blue Pegasus like a naughty child?"

He looked down, and then around the room, and sighed. "All right then." A moment of hesitation. "Count me in."

"Great!" Lucy chirped. "Two a.m., tonight, outside the port terminal. See you there!"

Of course, it was going to be a trap.


	8. Highly Illegal II

"So he's trying to flee the country, and the Muses are trying to drag him back," Lucy finished.

"What's he done, then?" Osmurand said. "I mean if he's got to get out of Fiore it's probably bad. What's he done?"

"Statistically," Juvia said, "it's almost certain that he's killed someone."

Lucy blanched.

"Possibly by accident," Juvia added. "But the consequences are much the same. In that case, Mr Vanderwood has a great deal to lose if he's caught."

"Frank Vanderwood," Byrrick said aloud. "Don't remember ever hearing of the asshole."

"Unpleasant circumstances can be dealt with quietly," Juvia murmured.

The four of them were sitting in a shabby little bar a few streets away from the market. (Lucy had put a napkin down on the bench before she sat on it.) Juvia and Lucy were on one side of the table, and the subdivisioners on the other. That hadn't been deliberate; it made it look like a drawing up of battle lines, and it was making the subdivisioners confrontational.

More confrontational than usual.

Byrrick folded his arms and tipped his chair back. "So we're going to help the little asshole get out of the country?"

"No," Lucy said. She felt a twinge of guilt, because he did seem so harmless, but then she hardened her heart and reminded herself that whoever he'd killed had probably thought so, too. "There might be a bounty on him." And where there was a bounty you needed to collect it. Lucy hadn't completely worked out the complicated formulae that seemed to govern status in the guild, but the money you earned was a pretty big part. "So we'll take him out quietly. The Muses must have someone watching the docks for them, otherwise he would have tried to get a ship out already. If we make sure that they get their tip-off late, then by the time they arrive we'll have already taken Vanderwood down and set up an ambush for them."

"That's an awful plan," Byrrick said. "Who's supposed to go stop the snitch?"

"Don't insult my plan before you know everything about it!" Lucy said. "Fine, you can do it."

"That's splitting up. I don't like splitting up. We shouldn't split up," said Osmurand.

"Yeah, maybe we'd have done better last time if _someone_ hadn't run off to chat up soldiers," Byrrick said.

"I wasn't chatting up soldiers!" Lucy flared up.

"Why? Were they not interested?"

"That's not the point!" Lucy snapped. "You'd be back before the difficult bit, anyway."

Byrrick rolled his eyes. "Look. The smart thing to do is to let the Muses deal with Vanderwood for us and then stop them on their way out. Conservation of energy, right? They'll be tired and we won't."

"If they've already captured Frank they don't need to hang around to fight us," Lucy countered. "We'd have to chase them, catch them and beat them. All they'd have to do is run away, in the dark, through a town they've been in for two days already."

"It'd be easier than that," Byrrick said.

"Yeah! It's a port, right? We can drop a fishing net on them," Osmurand said. "And make a pun, like 'you're all washed up'. Yeah!"

"...that's not really a pun," Lucy said.

"Os, shut up," Byrrick said. "Why don't we get this Vanderwood guy to help out? If he's so tough we may as well get some use out of him."

"Because we can't guarantee that he won't just run off!" Lucy said. "Are you just arguing with me for the sake of arguing now?"

"Are you in charge of this mission?" Byrrick demanded. "Do you have any actual reason to be here? Why are you the one who decides what we're doing?"

"Because nobody else's thought of something!" Lucy snapped. "If you want to come up with a plan, that'd be great, but until then, shut up!"

Juvia quietly sipped her tea and watched them. Lucy was inclined to call that creepy, but since Juvia had paid for Lucy's lemonade and sandwich she decided it would be ungrateful.

Byrrick threw his hands up and slumped back. "Fine. We'll do your stupid plan, and then when it fails, we'll-" 'we' here clearly meaning just him - "come up with something better."

"Yeah!" Osmurand said cheerfully. Lucy scowled at him, but said "Good," because at least they were finally listening.

Juvia laid down her teaspoon with a faint clink and cleared her throat. Lucy glanced up warily. Byrrick froze with his chair tipped back on two legs.

"Juvia is glad the matter is decided," she said. "Juvia is hopeful that this attempt will succeed. She should not have to remind you that Phantom Lord will not tolerate failure, or any actions which cause embarrassment to the guild. Losing twice to the same opponents is unforgivable." She picked her teacup up again and took another sip. Byrrick, Osmurand and Lucy looked at each other, and then down at the table. There was a brief uncomfortable silence. Lucy seethed silently. How dare Juvia lump her in with the subdivisioners? How dare they drag her down? She didn't even want to be on this mission! She set her glass down with care, not letting it thump on the table, and stood up. "Let's go scout out the port, then."

The four of them slouched – well, three of them slouched and Juvia walked straight-backed with her heels click-clacking on the pavement – out of the bar. Byrrick and Osmurand stomped on ahead. Lucy and Juvia brought up the rear, Lucy looking away from Juvia with her lower lip sticking out just a little bit.

"Juvia thinks Lucy has a good plan," Juvia said. "Juvia believes it will work."

"...oh. Thank you," Lucy said.

Incidentally," Juvia added, "Lucy may consider the subdivisioners wholly expendable, if sacrifices must be made for the mission to succeed."

"What?" Lucy frowned at her.

"Juvia does not believe they are suitable candidates for promotion."

"Aww," Lucy said, with mock dismay. "Why? Did they not take their criticism?"

Juvia pursed her mouth into a prim line. Lucy surprised herself by giggling.

"Juvia supposes they may redeem themselves, if they are careful. Juvia hopes Lucy will be careful, too," Juvia said. "She has decided she would not like telling Gajeel that his lady friend was arrested."

"...what? Gajeel's... what?" Lucy said, and then, because that didn't sound incredulous enough, "What? No! No way! _Not ever_!"

Juvia drew back and blinked like a rabbit in the headlights of a transcontinental articulated lorry. "Juvia is mistaken?"

"Juvia is very mistaken!" Lucy said. "Lucy has standards, and those standards_ explicitly exclude_ anyone with facial piercings, anyone who thinks shampoo is a type of stirfry, anyone who picks metal out of their teeth in public and especially anyone who does all three of those things at the same time!"

Juvia of the Deep pressed her hands to her mouth and wibbled. "...Juvia is very sorry..."

Lucy relented. Well, at least somebody'd noticed she was female and attractive and obviously prime girlfriend material. "It's okay, I just... really not even slightly? Where'd you even get that idea from?" She sighed. "Maybe nobody mentioned this to you before, but when it comes to romance you have kind of an overactive imagination."

Juvia poked the tips of her index fingers together. "Juvia has been told this... still, Juvia is sure that Gajeel is fond of Lucy, because when he went to hit her, he missed on purpose."

"What? That's how you know Gajeel likes you? He doesn't actually punch you in the head?" Lucy pulled a face. "Why is he allowed to associate with actual functioning humans? Shouldn't there be some sort of quarantine for situations like this?"

"Juvia supposes it might not be romantic," Juvia conceded. "Gajeel does usually prefer girls who are smaller and less argumentative." Lucy stopped dead and stared at her. Juvia's eyes went huge and round. She dropped her umbrella. "That is not what Juvia meant! Juvia meant smaller in height, and, um, circumference-"

"Circumference," Lucy repeated.

Juvia flailed in anguish. "Juvia did not mean the circumference of Lucy's waist! Juvia meant that Lucy has a different circumference which is not very small at all!"

"Oh, no," Lucy said, and covered her face with her hands. "Are you sure you're a water mage and not an earth mage?" The hole Juvia was digging herself just kept getting deeper. At this point, it was possible that Juvia was trying to dig out an escape tunnel from the conversation.

"Juvia is very sorry," Juvia said, pathetically, from behind her hands.

"So I'm not 'not small'?" Lucy asked. Juvia shook her head meekly. "And I'm not argumentative, either," Lucy added. She'd never been argumentative in her life. Juvia shook her head again.

"Good," Lucy said, and sighed. Could they just get to the ambush already?

* * *

It had to be past two in the morning by now, right?

Lucy was sitting on a bench at the ferry terminal. The sky was black with clouds. Rain battered on her umbrella and water was seeping into her clothes and boots. She crossed her legs and grumbled. How was any plan supposed to work in this rain? Any author knew that this sort of rain was for death scenes and tragic failures! … or for forcing the heroine to stay over at her love interest's house. Lucy didn't have a love interest. It couldn't be a good omen.

Ahead of her was the wharf where the ferry was tied up. The lights strung along its bow gleamed like distant stars through the haze of rain. Behind her rose a wall, and behind that was the rest of the port island, comprising a mess of prefabricated huts for waiting room, cafe and staff offices, and the carpark with its leaking corrugated-iron roof, all floodlit with harsh eyesearing white the rain couldn't soften.

Lucy would have much rather been lurking in the waiting room, out of Juvia's constant rain, but firstly from there she wouldn't be able to see the bridge out to the island, and secondly, she was going to need the slowly-melting cardboard boxes heaped up to her left. They'd once held tea, ground coffee, or tins of condensed milk and corned beef for the ferry's onboard cafe, and clearly the port workers had been halfway through unloading them when the rain set in and they'd decided to bunk off instead. (Lucy couldn't blame them.) Frank would need to walk past those to reach her and the ferry, and Serpens was lurking among them ready to strike as soon as Lucy had him distracted.

She glanced towards the bridge again and saw movement in her peripheral vision. She squinted. There! Right there, a dim figure was sauntering towards her, and the bridge's lights gleamed faintly on carrot-coloured hair.

Lucy breathed out a sigh of relief that turned to fog in the cold night air. Everything was going according to plan, then. Vanderwood would have walked through the ferry terminal at the far end of the bridge concealed by an illusion of Byrrick's, and in five minutes or so Byrrick should pop out of hiding and announce that whoever was on the Muses' payroll should run and fetch them. It wasn't subtle, but Lucy had an idea for when they showed up expecting a straight fight, and step one would be sniping Euterpe from a long way away with Caelum.

She stood up, as Vanderwood ambled past the boxes where Serpens was waiting, and then stepped forward and set her keys on the ground. A length of black thread was tied around the keyring and wound around the fingers of her other hand. Lucy only wanted to _look_ unthreatening, not _be_ unthreatening. "Good morning!" She touched her fingertips to her mouth. "...it is morning, right?"

"I suppose-" Vanderwood broke off, turned to look behind him and said sourly, "Well, can't say as I'm surprised. Shame all these ladies got to be so ruthless."

"What?" Lucy looked past him. The Muses were running down the bridge towards them. Lucy shrieked. How did that happen? What were those two playing at? She retrieved her keys and backed away.

"Vanderwood, you dumb sack of crap!" Euterpe shouted at him as soon as she reached the end of the wharf. "What do you think you're doing? She's from a dark guild!" Lucy covered her mouth with both hands. There was a girl involved? And then she felt really stupid for not working it out earlier. A double bed in the lodging house, with both pillows dinted from being slept on. Euterpe made a frustrated gesture. "We're not talking someone you can take home to your mama and the mini Vanderwoods here!"

"She doesn't love you," Urania agreed.

"Both of you, _shut up_, you've never even met her," Frank snarled, with instant white-hot fury. Urania blanched.

"Frank," Melpomene said softly, "don't do this to your little sisters."

Frank's scowl faded.

"Oh, man," someone drawled. "Babe, you hear a communications lacrima going off? Because I so called this."

Lucy looked up. A tall brown-skinned girl was sitting on the wall above them. She wore a battered school uniform of blue blazer and red pleated skirt with steel-capped boots. An elaborate white tattoo that stood out sharply against her brown skin stretched right across her face over the bridge of her nose and swirled into the corners of her eyes. Her hair was a cloud of curls that even the constant rain couldn't deflate, and there was something razor-sharp about the grin she turned on Frank. _Delinquent_, Lucy thought, and then oh, she just bet this girl was going to be the 'highly dangerous' one.

Frank smiled up at the girl. She swung off the wall and dropped onto the wharf. "What was that about all the ladies being so ruthless, babe?"

"Weren't meaning anything personal by it," Frank said. "I know you ain't much of a lady."

The girl laughed, and spun to face the Muses. "Pleased to meet you! Jalemah Sharouf Dameides, S-ranker of Dark Unicorn! … up until about a week ago, which I blame on you, babe," she added in an undertone. "You ladies gonna back off or am I gonna cut you up?"

Euterpe drew her flute. Green energy gathered around Melpomene's fingertips.

"Enough!" Frank flung out a hand. "Carrot Missile!" The concrete floor of the wharf ruptured, spitting a barrage of oversized carrots towards the Muses with lightning speed.

"Moon Jump!" Urania gasped, and bounded into the air out of the way. Melpomene threw up a blazing green shield, but it wasn't quick enough to stop the missile that caught Euterpe under the ribcage and threw her off her feet.

Jalemah grinned, and swept one hand flat across the air in front of her. "Razor Arc!" A near-invisible crescent scythed through the air toward the Muses. Melpomene kept her shield burning, and the razor arc went straight through it. Melpomene gasped and stumbled back. There was blood seeping through her robes.

Lucy reached for her keys. "Open, Gate of the Bull! Taurus!" She pointed at the wall. "Toss me up there!" Taurus grabbed her around the waist and threw her up over the top of the wall. Lucy hit the tarmac hard, taking layers of skin off her palms, and scrambled back to her feet. "Close! Gate of the Bull!" Taurus vanished seconds before another Razor Arc sliced an inch-deep canyon into the concrete wall. Lucy wasn't worried about Serpens, he had the sense to coil up and keep out of trouble until he had a chance to strike, but Taurus was just too big a target to miss.

Lucy darted away from the noise and fighting and flashes of green energy, and nearly ran straight into Byrrick. She grabbed at him. "What were you thinking? We agreed to wait five minutes!"

"They had illusion detectors or some crap like that!" Byrrick snarled. "Shouldn't you have thought of that?"

Could that be true? Frank wouldn't have walked over the bridge so calmly if things had already gone wrong, would he? "Where's Osmurand?" A wide-range water cannon could knock them all into the sea -

"He spotted that cow with the tats off of the rain or something and she cut him up. He's not going to be any use, unless you need someone to bleed all over them."

Lucy bit her lip.

"Well?" Byrrick prompted. "Any more stupid ideas?"

"Shut up, I'm thinking," Lucy snapped.

"Hard work, is it?" Byrrick said. Lucy ignored that.

"Are you only good at stock illusions, or can you make something up on the spot?"

"Yeah, bitch, I can be creative," Byrrick snapped.

"Good! I'm going to break in, find a radio and tell the ferry to, uh, drive away before those two can hijack it. When you get an opportunity, mask those two and make up an illusion of them running into those buildings somewhere to draw the Muses off. " She glanced at the buildings. "I'll be back soon and then we'll take those two out while the Muses are still looking for them. Just _don't_ send the illusion running straight after me, got it?"

"...Yep," Byrrick agreed.

"Good," Lucy said, jumped up and ran for the carpark. It was only surrounded by a low wall, and she vaulted it easily. The carpark was empty and silent except for a vast puddle in the centre from the leaking roof and the buzzing of the lights. What were the Muses doing? She'd specifically told Byrrick not to send them after her; didn't that mean he was guaranteed to? Maybe he'd been telling the truth about the illusion detectors. Maybe -

The Muses burst in.

At least she could always rely on her guildmates to try and stab her in the back.

Euterpe saw Lucy and swore. "Her again? Urania!"

Lucy glanced to her left. There were cables for the electric lights running around the edges of the walls to the ceiling. Urania thrust her hands out in front of her, arms crossed at the wrist. "Meteor Pursuit!"

"Open, Gate of the Chisel!" Lucy screamed. "Caelum!" She snatched the chisel from the air and dived out of the way just in time. The meteor missiles cratered the wall where she had been standing. Lucy rolled and slashed upwards, slicing through the cable. All the lights went out.

"Oh no! Where'd she go?" Urania gasped. "Oh, wait. Meteor Pur-"

Lucy yanked the cable down from the ceiling, cracked it like her whip, and lashed it straight into the puddle the Muses were standing in. There was a crack, and a flash of light. Lucy hacked through the other end of the cable to cut off the current and looked up. The Muses were lying in the puddle, stunned and smoking.

That ought to keep them for a minute! Lucy thanked Caelum – she wasn't sure that Caelum was sentient enough to appreciate it, but just in case – and closed its gate. She didn't want to be caught without any protection, but with the two fights she'd already been in that day her magic was running low. She raced back past the dazed Muses and out of the carpark. If she was lucky Serpens would have had a chance to bite either Frank or Jalemah, if they let their guards down once the Muses were drawn off. If they were really lucky, that one would have been Jalemah. Even if it wasn't, though, Byrrick was bound to have got himself trashed by now, and once both the subdivisioners were out, wouldn't Juvia be obliged to step in? It was about time she made herself useful, and -

Lucy skidded to a stop there, because everything was on fire. Flames raged across the concrete as if it had been drenched in oil. The staff offices were blazing. What had happened? Where was Byrrick?

Wait. Lucy could see the flames and hear the crackling and even smell the smoke, but she couldn't feel the heat. This was something of Byrrick's. She backed away. Where was-

"Storm of Blades!" Jalemah shouted, and the illusion exploded into a glittering tornado. Lucy threw herself flat. The whirlwind raged above her. Byrrick howled. Lucy covered her head with her arms until the storm died down, then gingerly lifted her head. Byrrick was crumpled on the ground, bleeding from dozens of small gashes. Jalemah was standing over him. She kicked him in the ribs – he didn't stir – and then turned to look at Lucy.

Lucy scrambled to her feet and backed away.

"Was that your snake?" Jalemah asked. "It bit my boyfriend." She smiled, but there was no mirth behind it. "So I cut it into little pieces."

Lucy gasped and lifted both hands to her mouth. Serpens? She'd been so distracted, she hadn't felt his gate close! Her hands clenched into fists.

"Juvia cannot be harmed by any form of blade magic." Lucy whipped around. Juvia was walking towards them. Her mouth was set into a thin line. "Drip, drip, drop... Yes. Juvia will be her opponent."

"No, I'll do it," Lucy said. Juvia frowned.

"I'm a mage of Phantom Lord's First Division!" Lucy shouted. "I can do it!"

"There's no need to argue, ladies," Jalemah said. "I can kill you both."

Lucy slashed her keys through the air. "Open, Gate of the Bull! Taurus!" Taurus appeared, bellowing. "_Rampage_!" Taurus leapt into the air, spun his axe overhead and brought it crashing down with both hands. The earth shook. The ground shattered, spitting gravel and concrete shrapnel into the air, and a fissure opened heading straight for Jalemah. She dived out of the way. Taurus was close behind with his axe, though, and brought it down towards her as she sprawled on the ground. Jalemah rolled aside, firing off a Razor Arc as she did. She didn't aim it at Taurus, though. She aimed it at Lucy.

Lucy shrieked. Taurus lurched, slammed his axe into the ground and caught the Razor Arc on the blade, but that still bought Jalemah enough time to scramble out of range.

"I heard about your trick with the glass!" she shouted to Lucy. "Want to see my version?" She raised both hands, palms down. "Razor Rain!" Lucy looked up. Above her, the air glittered with hundreds of little shards of magic, only visible by the floodlights reflecting off their viciously sharp edges. And then they fell.

Lucy threw her arms over her head and ran to get out of the spell's range, screaming. The rain sliced right through her sweater, opening tiny gashes on her arms and back. "Taurus! Axe Aldebaran!" Taurus swung his axe high in the air and spun it. The hail of knives wrapped around the twin blades with a sound like a swarm of angry bees. Taurus let out a wordless bellow and slammed the axe into the ground. The spell broke free, headed straight for Jalemah.

Jalemah closed her eyes and turned her face away. "Scale Armour!" Her skin rippled and turned to fine overlapping metal scales a moment before the storm hit her. The force of it shoved her back until her boots were against the wall overlooking the sea and the wind tore at her hair, but the shards of magic only skidded off her skin and didn't hurt her.

Taurus stumbled, off-balance. Jalemah turned her head towards him and opened her eyes. She brought both hands together. A flurry of Razor Arcs flashed towards Taurus. Lucy shrieked. "No!" Taurus jerked backwards, blood spurting from his torso. His axe fell from his hands. It, and Taurus, vanished into starlight before it could hit the ground. Lucy reached for her keys.

"Did you think you could hurt me with my own magic, trash?" Jalemah yelled, and swept one arm across in front of her, back and forth. Lucy shrieked and threw herself aside. The Razor Arcs bit slices out of the concrete behind her. Lucy dived for cover behind a big wooden crate and crouched there, catching her breath.

The next volley of Razor Arcs disintegrated the crate. Lucy felt it jar against her back before it shattered into pieces. Dust and splinters rained down on her. Lucy screamed, leapt to her feet and ran blindly only a split second ahead of another burst that would have sliced her into ribbons.

"Stop moving!" Jalemah yelled.

"No!" Lucy yelled back. "What sort of order is that?"

"Then I'll make you!" Jalemah threw out both her hands, fingers spread wide. "Field of Blades!" Suddenly the air all around Lucy glittered with tangled strands of razor wire. Lucy skidded to a stop just in time. The wires hung barely inches away from her body.

The field only started about a foot above the ground, though! Lucy dropped flat, and then realised she'd trapped herself. She couldn't wriggle away flat on her stomach, and she couldn't run without being cut to pieces. Jalemah smiled, and extended one hand out to her side. She was going to shred Lucy with her Razor Arcs while Lucy lay there, unable to move.

Lucy screamed, leapt to her feet, and charged. Jalemah's magic tore at her clothes and lacerated her skin. She screamed louder. "Open, Gate of the Chisel, Caelum! Cannon Form!" Caelum fell into her hands, changing shape in her grip even as the razor magic sliced into its shell. "Charge!" Blood was dripping into Lucy's eyes, but she could see Jalemah open-mouthed in shock and lifting her hands to defend herself.

Even in Cannon Form, Caelum was still a heavy blunt instrument. Lucy bludgeoned Jalemah across the face with it and tackled her over the sea wall. They both hit the water. Lucy shrieked at the cold and choked as seawater spilled into her mouth. Jalemah flailed and kicked. Lucy shoved Caelum's barrel into her chest.

"_Fire_!" It came out as bubbles, but Caelum understood. The blast of green light illuminated the dark water for what seemed like miles and threw Lucy and Jalemah apart. Glowing green cracks rippled out from Caelum's barrel. "Flight Form," Lucy tried to say, seawater rushing into her mouth, but it was too late; Caelum was too badly damaged and Lucy didn't have the power left to maintain it. Caelum's outer shell fractured, and it disappeared back to the stellar spirit world.

Lucy drifted.

Juvia grasped her around the middle and hauled her out of the water. Lucy landed hard on her back on the ground, spat out seawater and wheezed for air.

"Is Lucy all right?" Lucy opened her eyes and saw Juvia's anxious face hovering over her.

"I don't think so," she rasped, and propped herself up on one elbow. "Ow!" All the hurt caught up with her at once. "Owwww!"

"Juvia was going to help when Lucy was trapped by the Field of Blades," Juvia said. "Juvia was not expecting Lucy to charge her... Lucy is very blonde. Juvia does not think many people would expect her to charge them." Lucy was too tired to even try to figure out if there was a catty insult lurking in there. "Juvia thinks Lucy was very brave to do that, when the sea around Brownian Town is so full of diresharks." Oh God, the diresharks? Lucy had completely forgotten about the diresharks!

She turned her head slowly, wincing. Jalemah was lying face-down in a spreading puddle of seawater. Lucy smiled. "I did it! I – ow... ow, ow, ow..."

"Lucy should take this," Juvia said, producing a small bottle from her hat. She scanned the label - "One teaspoon for the relief of minor injuries increasing up to a tablespoon for- Juvia thinks Lucy should just drink the whole bottle." She pressed it into Lucy's hand and twisted the cork out, then went to see to Byrrick. Lucy drained the bottle. It had a grainy texture and tasted of fish sauce. "Ugh!" Lucy stuck out her tongue and made a face.

After a minute, though, warmth began to spread through her bones again and the sting of her wounds dulled. Lucy climbed to her feet and went to get her umbrella. It had been sliced into pieces. She sighed and went back to find the others.

Juvia was a blur of purposeful activity. She had just finished with Byrrick and Osmurand - they were both back on their feet, though unsteadily – and sealed Frank and Jalemah in a floated sphere of water. The two of them floated, eyes closed, deathly pale in the light diffused through the water.

"They can breathe in there, right?" Lucy asked.

"Of course. Juvia has oxygenated the water," Juvia said. "Juvia believes we should leave this place immediately. Please follow her." She turned and click-clacked away over the bridge. Byrrick grumbled but slouched after her. Lucy trailed along in the rear, squelching miserably with every step. Her clothes were bloodstained, slashed and drenched in seawater, and all that salt was going to ruin her hair and chap her lips. She scowled.

"Got your ass kicked too, did you?" Byrrick said sourly.

"No, actually!" Lucy snapped. "I beat the one who took you down!"

"Like hell you did," Byrrick said.

"Do you want me to prove it?" Lucy demanded, and reached for her whip.

"Lucy, Juvia would rather you not attack them," Juvia called back. Lucy dropped her hand from her keys with a sigh of frustration.

"Haha, you got _told_," said Osmurand. Lucy stomped on ahead. Dealing with other Phantom Lord members could be completely exhausting sometimes.

The four of them, plus bubble, slid through the ferry terminal cloaked under one of Byrrick's illusions, and then Juvia gave out their orders. "Lucy will accompany Juvia on a minor errand. Byrrick and Osmurand will take these two to the military outpost and then meet Lucy and Juvia in Short Street, near the station." Lucy frowned. Juvia passed control over the bubble to Osmurand – a layer of water sheeted off the outside as she did – and the four of them split up.

"If they're handing them in, though, won't they be given the bounty on her? What if they just run off with it?"

"If they ran away with our money they would regret it," Juvia said, "and Juvia thinks that they know this."

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"We are going to find a doctor," Juvia said.

"Oh," Lucy said. "I like that plan."

* * *

The doctor Juvia half-bribed half-intimidated into seeing them before opening hours cast a few quick charms to replenish the blood Lucy'd lost, spread a thick paste that smelled of thyme on all her cuts and wrapped her in bandages until she looked as if she should be chasing an archaeologist through a pyramid. There were bandages wound around her head, across the bridge of her nose, around her neck, her ribs, swathing her arms from shoulder to palm and her legs from thigh to ankle. "That'll do!" he said, and then booted them back out the door.

Stepping back out into the rain was having a bucket of water poured over her head. Lucy stifled a hiss. The painkiller potion was wearing off, though she could still taste fish sauce in the back of her mouth.

Juvia set off briskly for the train station. Lucy trudged after her, with one arm over her head in a futile effort to hold off the rain. She was starting to feel troubled. She was a romantic, wasn't she? She'd read dozens of books about love affairs between a mage from a legal guild and a gorgeous-but-troubled dark mage. It was the most classic model of star-crossed lovers that there was, and yet her first instinct had been to finish the mission and throw both of them in jail?

Of course, in the books the dark mage wasn't actively trying to chop her into little pieces. She was just being sensible, right? If it had been one of Phantom's own mages, somebody would have sold them out and they'd have been in prison for a week by now. Obviously Blue Pegasus had just wanted to drag their mage back and smack some sense into him. Fairy Tail seemed to love recruiting dark mages, so they would probably have invited Jalemah to join. Lucy was pretty sure that six months ago, she would have helped the pair of them get away.

Maybe it was just that she was smarter now that she was four months before, but Lucy was starting to wonder if Phantom Lord had turned her into... well, someone not very nice.

She shook her head firmly, spraying water droplets, and looked ahead. "There they are!"

Byrrick and Osmurand were loitering against a wall. Byrrick was holding a newspaper over his head. Osmurand didn't seem to mind the rain.

"Good morning," Juvia greeted them. "Wre you successful?"

"Yeah, we can just about manage handing someone in, ta," Byrrick growled, tucking the newspaper under one arm and sticking his hands in his pockets. Obviously, they'd worked out that they'd failed the test.

"Juvia is pleased," Juvia said, and extended one hand. "Water Lock!" There was a startled squawk from Byrrick, abruptly cut off. Lucy whipped around. Byrrick and Osmurand were trapped in a massive floating bubble of water. Byrrick had dropped the satchel of money. Juvia turned her hand palm-up and beckoned, and it floated towards her.

"You acted recklessly and pettily. Juvia does not believe you would have completed this mission successfully," Juvia informed the subdivisioners, and plucked the satchel from the water. "You may no longer consider yourselves mages of Phantom Lord." She turned and walked away. Lucy goggled, and then ran to catch up with her.

"What was that?"

"They demonstrated themselves undeserving of promotion," Juvia said. "And it is necessary that somebody take the blame for the attacks on the Blue Pegasus mages. Had they not identified themselves as Phantom mages, they would have been sent back to their subdivision, but as it is... It is necessary for the First Division to understand when a situation requires delicacy, Juvia thinks."

That couldn't be a very popular opinion, because if it was Lee Annur would never have been promoted. Lucy ducked her head. "So they'll get arrested?"

"Yes," Juvia said. "Master Jose will deny all knowledge of the mission and declare that they acted of their own free will. Typically this would cause a loss of face, for a guild master to admit less than perfect control of their mages, but Blue Pegasus will be well aware they we are lying. They will simply be unable to prove it."

Lucy fiddled with her hair, trying to wring the water out of it. The potion was wearing off, and the cold was seeping back into her bones. "... is that right?"

"It's correct. This is the usual procedure that Phantom Lord employs in these circumstances."

"No, I mean is it right?"

Juvia stopped and looked at Lucy strangely. "'Right' is whatever Master Jose orders," Juvia said. "And what Master Jose orders is whatever is best for Phantom Lord. The guild is not the same thing as the people in it. It's a weakness in other guilds that they are unwilling to purge their weaker members."

"Okay," Lucy said, raising her hands defensively. It made her nervous when people started talking about kicking out the weaklings.

"This was the idea all along, right? An illusionist and a water mage – if you had to step in then Jose could just say they'd made an illusion of you or something. That's why you were the one 'observing'?"

"This was one of the reasons," Juvia agreed.

Lucy didn't see how Juvia had been planning to explain Lucy away, though. She'd been right in the middle of it the whole time. She'd been just as visible as the subdivisioners were. Honestly, it just seemed careless -

Light dawned.

"You were going to get me arrested!"

"No, Juvia wasn't!" Juvia protested, but too quickly and without a trace of surprise, which was as good as a confirmation.

"You were! You were going to let me get arrested with the subdivisioners if you decided I wasn't good enough!"

"Lucy was good enough!" Juvia said. "Lucy did very-"

"Why would you _do_ that?" Lucy said. "I only just met you! Do you vet all of Gajeel's girlfriends or something?"

"Juvia worries about Gajeel," Juvia said defensively. "He seems lonely. Juvia worries that people take advantage of him."

Gajeel? Lonely? Seriously? "Maybe Gajeel would be less lonely if he were less of an _asshole_!" Lucy snapped.

"Juvia is sorry," Juvia said weakly.

"You dragged me off on this mission fighting people and getting rained on and butting heads with subdivision trash just so you could get me arrested at the end of it!" You could always rely on your guildmates to try and stab you in the back.

"Juvia is sorry," Juvia said again.

"I'm so sick of this! I'm sick of this whole guild! I'm sick of the fighting and the posturing and-" Lucy was soaked through from head to toe, her hair was plastered to her skull and her twenty-four hour waterproof mascara had given up all pretence of being waterproof. "-and I am sick of all this bloody rain!"

Juvia flinched back as if Lucy'd slapped her. "J-juvia doesn't do it on purpose," she stuttered. "She, she doesn't know how to make it stop-"

Lucy had already turned away. "Open, Gate of the Charioteer! Auriga!" A flash of supernova light resolved into an ornate two-wheeled chariot. Auriga's torso grew out of the front like a figurehead on a ship. The reins in his hands were linked to the end of the yoke that extended in front of the chariot.

Auriga flicked the reins as Lucy scrambled aboard. "Where would you like to go today, ma'am?"

"Away from here," Lucy bit out, and Auriga rattled away. Lucy leant her arms on the side of the chariot and rested her head on her arms. The chariot bounced over the cobbles. Lucy let out a long, heartfelt groan.

"Mistress?" Auriga asked, slowing down.

"It's okay," Lucy said. The subdivisioners were thuggish swaggering trash, just like three-quarters of the guild already was; they weren't any great loss. And Jalemah ought to be in prison, and maybe getting a caution would teach Vanderwood to have more sense. But...

The image of Juvia's concerned face rose up in front of her. Ditching the subdivisioners, trashing the Muses and turning the other two in to the authorities – maybe Lucy hadn't been nice there, but it had all been the smart thing to do, so if Phantom Lord had made her less kind then wasn't that a good thing? She'd chosen this path, she had to walk it now.

Still, Lucy had the horrible feeling that she really had just been a total and absolute bitch to someone who hadn't deserved any of it.

"Oh, God," Lucy said. "Auriga, turn around."

Juvia had been walking briskly towards the train station. When Auriga skidded to a stop beside her, one wheel splashed through a puddle and flung up a spray of muddy water over Juvia's coat and face. Juvia stopped. She wiped the water from her face and turned a cold, furious stare on Lucy. She opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry," Lucy said. Juvia's mouth stayed open. "I shouldn't have said that, I was just in a bad mood and I guess I took it out on you even though you didn't really do anything wrong. But I thought we were getting on, and you, you're the nicest person I've met since I joined Phantom, maybe the only nice person so-" Juvia stared at her. Lucy's mouth ran on blindly. "-so if you could forgive me then I'd rather get soaked in the rain with you than stay dry with someone else, so, uh... can we be friends?" Lucy had to stop there to breathe. Juvia said nothing. Her eyes had gone huge. "Please?"

"...yes. Juvia would like that very much," Juvia said.

Lucy whooped and leant out over the edge of the chariot to throw her arms around Juvia's neck. "Yes! Thank you!"

Ow. Actually, that really hurt. She shifted her grip and lifted her head from Juvia's shoulder, and saw golden light through her eyelids. Lucy opened her eyes and tipped back her head.

"Oh!" she said. "It's stopped raining!"

"Huh?" Juvia said, and lifted her face to the sky. Sunlight glowed on her skin. Right when Lucy'd decided she didn't mind it so much, as well! What were the chances of that? "The rain has stopped?" Juvia said blankly. She stared. "These are... clear skies?"

Lucy looked up. The rainclouds were dissolving into thin grey wisps, tinted violently gold along their edges by the rising sun. "It's pretty, isn't it?" Juvia was looking upwards with stunned, wet eyes. "Hey! What's wrong? Don't cry!" Lucy said, and fell back to her proven, time-tested, 100% infallible method for making everything better. "I don't know about you, but I just earned fifty thousand jewel and I badly need a new outfit – want to go shopping?"

"Shopping?" Juvia repeated, going pink and flustered. "Juvia isn't sure how to shop recreationally. Juvia has never really-"

"There's an art to it," Lucy agreed smugly. "Luckily, I'm an expert!" She offered Juvia a hand up into the chariot. Juvia looked at the bandages wound around Lucy's arm and said "Juvia is not sure that-"

Lucy gave Juvia her biggest, brightest grin. "Please?" The corners of Juvia's mouth twitched, and then she smiled too, so widely that her eyes crinkled shut.

"Yes! Juvia would like to come!"

Lucy whooped and pulled her aboard. "Auriga!" she shouted, one arm around Juvia and the other pointed skywards. "Take us to the shops!"


	9. That Pink-Haired Kid

Lucy and Juvia couldn't share all their missions, because the jobs Juvia took tended to involve severe physical danger or being at the bottom of the sea. But when they could, it was a lot of fun! That day they were escorting Andelies Kabain, a rich businesswoman's daughter, back to her private boarding school for the start of term and making sure she didn't escape on the way. Lucy did sort of feel sorry for Andelies, though. Lucy felt sorry for Andelies right up to when they were getting on the train, when Andelies smashed Lucy in the face with her duffel bag, dropped it and ran. Lucy reeled back. Juvia spun and fired off a Water Lock which trapped three horrified commuters. Andelies Kabain was lost in the crowd.

"I wasn't expecting her to hit me," Lucy complained, rubbing her nose. "Am I still pretty?"

"Juvia thinks Lucy is very pretty," Juvia said. "However, Juvia also thinks maybe we should not have let her escape?"

Lucy held up her keyring, and giggled. "We didn't!"

"...Juvia doesn't understand," said Juvia.

"I'll show you!" Lucy scrambled back to her feet. Ahead of her, Andelies raced out of the station and swung sharply to the right. Lucy's stellar spirit Musca was close behind her, and as Musca's vision was added to hers Lucy saw a dozen blurred tiny images of the girl in her distinctive red school blazer tearing down the street. Andelies glanced back to check for pursuers as she turned a corner, a pale flash in a cloud of dark curly hair, but she didn't spot the fly buzzing close behind her.

"Come on!" Lucy took off after Andelies, head down, shoving through the crowd. Juvia followed with much less difficulty – all the briefcases, furled umbrellas and elbows that jostled her knocked off sprays of water but didn't slow her down. Outside the station, Lucy pointed down the street. "She went that way! Come on, but don't let her see us!"

"But how does Lucy know that?"

Lucy grinned. "I've got a Musca key! She's trailing Andelies now. If she's serious, she's got a plan, right? Someone who'll help her hide out. And if we let her try her plan then we'll find out what it is!"

"Oh!" Juvia clapped her hands. "How clever!"

"I know!" Lucy agreed, delighted. She grabbed Juvia's hand, and the two of them hurried down the street after Andelies. Lucy scanned for landmarks. There was the patisserie with chocolate cream puffs in the window, and the Heart Kreuz outlet store – ahead, Andelies raced up the steps to a narrow house and banged on the front door. It was opened by a footman in a dark suit. Andelies stomped past without looking at him, and the door slammed shut before Musca could flit inside. The little stellar spirit perched above the lintel and waited for Lucy and Juvia.

When Lucy clattered up the steps and rapped on the door, Musca buzzing down to perch on her shoulder, the same footman opened the door. Lucy shoved past him and barked "Where's Andelies?"

"Excuse me!" an old woman protested. "This is private property! Hallihan, call the military at once!"

"We're Phantom Lord mages. It wouldn't do you any good," Lucy informed her, and glanced around. It was only a small house, and plain, with faded green wallpaper and bare wooden stairs, but the old woman's clothes were all of fine materials and well-tailored, and Gajeel would have had trouble lifting the jewelry that dripped from her arms and neck. Plus, the footmen. It looked like this place had been rented for this exact purpose.

"We're looking for Andelies Kabain," Juvia said. "You know where she is. If you do not cooperate with us, you will regret it."

"... I've never heard of her," the old woman said.

"She's in here," Lucy said, and stomped through into the sitting room. The old woman followed her.

"No, she isn't!"

"Yes, she is!" Lucy rebutted. "We saw her come in here!" She scanned the room, pointed, and said "Look, she's under there!" Andelies, clearly visible under the sofa, scowled and showed Lucy her middle finger. Lucy pulled down her eyelid at her and stuck out her tongue.

"...No, she isn't," the old woman said.

Lucy gave up on arguing and went to drag Andelies out instead. She reached under the sofa. Andelies skittered back against the wall.

"Come out of there! You're acting like you're five!"

"You're acting like you're five!" Andelies rebutted, and yanked on Lucy's hair.

"Ow!" Lucy swiped at her. "Quit it! I have a big poisonous snake and I'm not afraid to use him!"

"Juvia does not mean to say that Lucy is not being helpful," Juvia said, "but would Lucy please step out of the way?" Lucy hurriedly wriggled back. "Water Lock!" The expanding bubble of water bounced the sofa off the ceiling. Andelies floated in the middle, spitting out nearly inaudible curses.

"Actually, this is working well. Let's stick with this," Lucy said. Juvia agreed. They turned to go.

"This is kidnapping!" The old woman shouted after them. "That's my granddaughter! You can't abduct her from my own house! I'll call the military!"

"This mission was given to us by her legal guardian," Juvia said. "You have no grounds for complaint."

Lucy turned around on the steps, pulled down her eyelid and stuck out her tongue. "Nyaaah!"

Much later, once they'd rolled Andelies into the front hall of the Cardinal Neville Zentopian School for Girls – of course Juvia could have levitated the bubble, but that took effort and plus Lucy thought it was funny – scribbled a note to Mrs Kabain about the grandmother and collected the money that had been entrusted to the headmistress, they took the train back to Oak Town. Lucy knew a little coffee shop that opened late and did the absolute best cheesecake in Fiore.

They took a table outside. Juvia tipped her head back to the clear starry sky and smiled. "Juvia thinks that she should ask the chef for the recipe."

"You should," Lucy said. "You absolutely definitely should." Juvia loved to make delicious food. Lucy loved to eat delicious food. Theirs was the perfect friendship.

"How is Lucy's novel?" Juvia asked.

"About half done!" Lucy chirped. Well, chapter eighteen out of the forty she had planned, close enough. "You'll still be the first one to read it, don't worry!"

"Juvia is glad. She wants to know who Iris will end up with," Juvia said, and popped a forkful of cheesecake into her mouth. Lucy was a little worried about that, really, because Juvia was convinced that the guy Lucy'd meant to be the love interest was secretly the villain and now Lucy kind of wanted to write that. Everyone liked bad boys, right?

"You wouldn't have to wonder if you hadn't read chapter one when I wasn't looking," Lucy pointed out.

"Lucy didn't tell Juvia she couldn't read it!" Juvia protested, through the cheesecake, and swallowed. "Juvia is wondering-" She toyed with her fork in a way that failed to be casual. "- how long has Lucy had her Musca key?"

"I got her from that mission in Cypress Town," Lucy said. "It's taken ages to find a way to use her, though! I guess because I'm not ruling a small town with an iron fist."

"Lucy does know that Musca keys are illegal, yes?"

"Yeah... because of privacy rights, isn't it? I was going to ignore that," Lucy said. "That's okay, right?" She wasn't going to use Musca to peek at people in the bath, so she didn't think it should be a problem.

"Of course, Juvia doesn't mind," Juvia said. "But who else knows that you have it?"

"Only Sue," Lucy said, frowning.

"Oh!" Juvia brightened up. "There's no need to worry, then! Sue is trustworthy."

"Maybe I shouldn't keep her with my other keys, just in case," Lucy said. "Could you make me another pocket in my other boot?" Juvia had sewn a hidden pocket into Lucy's right boot for her, where she could keep one of her keys in case she lost her keyring. At the moment she was hiding Serpens, for a capture mission against a civilian.

"Juvia would be happy to!" Juvia exclaimed, clapping her hands, genuinely delighted at the prospect of needlework. Lucy smiled.

"Hey!" someone shouted. "Lucy Heartfilia!"

"Huh?" Lucy looked around. It was that kid. The pink-haired one. Fairy Tail's Dragon Slayer. "What does he want?" she said aloud, and then realised that he'd said her name. Her real name.

* * *

Mirajane had been cleaning glasses when a shout made her look up. Master Makarov had been standing in one of the windows on the upper floor, peering out at the street with one clenched fist resting against the glass. He had been doing that for a while, and Mirajane hadn't liked to disturb him. But now he leapt down, scampered down the steps and across to the bar and clambered up onto it.

"Master?" Mirajane asked. "What is it?"

Makarov didn't answer. He sat cross-legged, laid his staff across his lap, closed his eyes firmly and let his head fall forward. A sudden thought struck Mirajane. She looked sharply towards the front doors, just as they slammed back. The window panes rattled. Erza strode into the guild hall, with Gray, Natsu and Happy trailing behind her. All alive, and all (reasonably) uninjured, and wasn't that the best they could have hoped for? Mirajane clapped her hands together with delight. "Welcome home! How was the island? Did you have fun?"

"... it really wasn't that kind of trip," Gray said.

"Master!" Erza greeted Makarov. He started and pretended to wake up. "Mrfgh- oh, it's you lot?" He brandished his staff at Gray and Natsu. "You damn kids! How dare you go on an S-Rank quest without permission? Gray, weren't you supposed to be bringing Natsu home?"

"That's true!" Elfman thumped his fist against the bar. "Gray, why didn't you keep your promise like a man would?" Cana took a long draught of her beer.

"I did agree to bring Natsu back," Gray said. "But when I saw what was going down on the island, I had to stay and help out. Punish me however you want." He folded his arms across his chest and waited, stony-faced and shoulders squared.

"...Bad Gray!" Makarov barked, and whapped Gray upside the head. Gray squawked.

"Natsu, bad!" Another thwap, and a howl from the Dragon Slayer. "Happy, _terrible_!" Thwap!

"Why am I terrible?" Happy lamented.

"Now," Makarov ordered, "All of you go and stand in a corner for an hour!" He pointed imperiously at one of the room's corners. "Go!"

"What? Master!" Gray and Erza said together, though for completely different reasons.

"Gramps, that's way too much!" Natsu protested. "We were ready to face _that_, but a whole hour!?"

"They took an S-rank job without permission!" Erza said. "They could have been killed... or worse, embarrassed the guild."

"Erza's priorities are scary," Happy told Natsu's scarf.

Erza thumped one armoured fist into her palm with a crash of metal on metal. "I can't approve of this - you're being far too lenient, Master!"

"Didn't you say it should be the master who decided the consequences?" Gray asked her. Erza indicated for him to shut his face.

Makarov thought about it and duly amended the punishment. "Stand in the corner for _two_ hours!"

Natsu, Gray and Happy groaned. Erza nodded with grim satisfaction.

Fairy Tail's newest recruit, distinguished by his spiky ponytail and the iron parolee's manacle around his wrist, leant over to Mickey Chickentiger and whispered, "This is a sick joke, right?"

"No, I really think he'll make them do it," Mickey muttered back, before grabbing her magical bird Pii out of the air and burying her face in its feathers. "Don't look, Kageyama!"

"You are _shitting_ me," Kageyama said.

"No, seriously, he's gonna do it," Mickey said, distraught. "Master, don't! You're being cruel!"

"A serious infraction demands a serious punishment!" Makarov snapped. "This hurts me more than it hurts you, you damn brats!"

"No, it doesn't!" Natsu said.

"A man takes responsibility for his actions!" Elfman lectured the three of them. Cana took a swig of her beer. "Accept your punishment, like men!"

Cana took another swig, gazed into the bottom of her now-empty tankard and said, "Elfman, quit talking about men all the time. I think I might be drinking too much..." The rest of Fairy Tail stared at her in horror and alarm.

"Men say what they mean!" Elfman retorted. Cana sighed and went to get another keg.

"We completed the job, though," Gray protested. "Doesn't that count for something?"

"Stop arguing and accept the master's punishment!" Erza roared. She grabbed him by the back of his neck (it would have been by the collar of his jacket, but he had discarded that somewhere between the door and the bar) and hauled him to the corner. "And stay there until you're permitted to leave!"

Meanwhile, though, Natsu had spotted a poster lying on the bartop. He snatched it up. "Hey! What's this about?"

"We've been asked to kidnap a mage from Phantom Lord," Mirajane told him, and sighed. "Obviously, it's very complicat-" Then Erza returned.

"Natsu! Put that down!" She yanked the poster out of his hand, grabbed him by the vest and then literally punted him into a corner. There was a wail that ended in a crash. "And stay there!" Erza shouted, before she turned to Happy. The blue cat fluttered obediently into a corner. Erza looked the poster over. "What's this?" She examined the portrait for a moment – a slim, fair-haired girl with a sad expression - and then glanced up at Makarov. "So one of Jose Porla's mages is a runaway?"

Makarov was dwelling, obviously, on a father who wanted his daughter back, but he just _hrrrm_ed. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it. You three can tell Phantom Lord to watch out."

"Us three?"

"Elfman and me were waiting for you to get back!" Mirajane explained cheerfully. "It says she's at Oak Town, which is where the Iron Dragon and Juvia Lockser are based. They might not even be there, but, well-" Erza wasn't familiar with Juvia Lockser, beyond that she was a formidable water mage, but Iron Dragon Gajeel was famously quick to attack. "We thought of asking Luxus to come with us, but... even if he had agreed, that would have meant Luxus coming with us."

Erza couldn't argue with that. Visiting a Phantom Lord branch would be trouble enough. Taking a cranky attention-seeking lightning mage along would only make it worse. "Luxus was here? Why didn't you order him to retrieve Natsu?"

"Master did," Mirajane said. It took Erza a moment to understand, but then she just sighed deeply. They both looked at Makarov.

"Kids," Makarov said, and shrugged. "He'll learn."

"Master was a tearaway when he was that young, wasn't he?" Mirajane said brightly. Makarov nodded, but Erza barked "Master would _never_ have refused an order from Master Purehito!"

"Erza! That's enough!" Makarov cut in sharply.

Erza breathed out hard and said, "I apologise, Master, I spoke out of turn. Punish me any way you like."

"Eh? Isn't sending you to deal with Jose's brats enough for you?"

Erza folded the poster up and slipped it into her breastplate. Obviously, they had to refuse the job, but the owner of the Heartfilia Konzern wasn't likely to give up on it there, and if they didn't warn Jose Porla that someone wanted to abduct one of his mages then he would probably take that as a declaration of war. Jose Porla could take burnt toast as a declaration of war.

"We'll leave early tomorrow morning," she decided. "Is that acceptable?"

It was acceptable. The plan was set.

Sadly, however, they had failed to account for Natsu Dragneel.

* * *

Lucy leapt to her feet, reaching for her keys. Her chair toppled over.

"What is it?" Juvia asked, aghast.

"Hey!" The Fairy Tail mage pointed at her. "Why'd you run away? Your dad asked us to bring you home. You're Lucy Heartfilia, right?"

Her father... why would her father send Fairy Tail to get her? Why would he want her back? Lucy couldn't speak. Her mouth was dry as sand.

"Natsu! This is a really bad idea!" the blue cat mewed.

"Nah, Happy! She's that iron bastard's girlfriend, right? So if I capture her, he'll have to come and fight me properly!" The Fairy Tail mage grinned as if that was a brilliant idea. Lucy was still speechless, but now for more reasons.

Juvia pushed back her chair and stood up. "You are mistaken. This is Lucy Ashley, not Lucy Heartfilia," she said coldly. "It is a simple misunderstanding." She stretched out one hand. "But one you will regret! Water Slicer!"

"Fire Dragon's Roar!" Fire burst from the Fairy's mouth. Lucy leapt back. The fire blast enveloped the water blades and boiled them to steam in an instant. Lucy felt the heat roll over her.

The Fairy slammed his knuckles together. "Fire Dragon's Iron Fist!" His hands burst into flame.

"He's a Dragon Slayer," Lucy warned Juvia. "Like-"

"Juvia has fought better Dragon Slayers," Juvia said. "Water Slicer!" The attack sailed past the Dragon Slayer, ten feet to his left.

"Hey! What are you doing?" he yelled. "I'm over here!" He bounced up and down and pointed at himself with both flaming hands.

"You missed?" Lucy said, aghast. Juvia hadn't missed. She had been aiming for the fire hydrant. The top was sliced off. A geyser of water erupted into the sky, drenching the Fairy and Juvia and Lucy and everything within a radius of twenty feet. The Fairy's hands were extinguished.

Lucy clutched at Juvia's arm. "Juvia. Juvia, listen," she said, and took a deep shuddering breath. "He's right. I am Lucy Heartfilia."

Juvia gasped. Both hands went to her mouth. "Oh no! Has Juvia been getting Lucy's name wrong this whole time?" Absently, she turned back to the Fairy mage and brought both her hands together. "Double Wave!" Giant crests of water slammed into the Fairy mage from both sides. The flying cat shot up and out of range. The Fairy was spun around and dropped to the paving stones as the waves fell. "Juvia is so sorry!"

"No, I was using a false name! I didn't want anyone to know who I am," Lucy said. "Juvia, what am I going to do?"

"No matter what Lucy's name is, Juvia will not allow anyone to abduct her!" Juvia extended one hand, palm towards the Fairy. "Water Lock!" The blue cat shot out of the way as the bubble sealed shut. The Fairy mage yelled bubbles. "He will not be able to burn his way out of that," Juvia said confidently. "We should take him back to the guild hall. Master Jose will-"

"Juvia," said Lucy.

"-know what should be done with him, and-"

"Juvia!" Lucy said, and pointed. Juvia turned and looked. Steam was pouring from the sides of the Water Lock. The mage inside was barely visible. "He's boiling it off?" Juvia gasped.

Lucy backed away. What were a Dragon Slayer's weaknesses? Gajeel didn't have any! What was she supposed to-" _Oh!_ Travelsickness! Lucy reached for her keys. "Open, Gate of the Charioteer! Auriga!"

Auriga materialised in a burst of light. Lucy pointed at the Dragon Slayer in his rapidly-vanishing bubble and shouted "Grab him!"

Auriga wheeled about just as the last vestiges of the Water Lock dissolved into steam. The Dragon Slayer dropped to the ground. He saw Auriga bearing down on him and lifted both hands to his mouth. "Fire Dragon's-" Auriga's outstretched arm caught him square below the ribcage. "-_hggk_!"

"Auriga! Get out of here!" Lucy screamed. "Get as far as you can before time runs out!"

Auriga swung the green-faced Dragon Slayer across the pole of the chariot, ducked his head down and accelerated. A distant "Yes, mistress!" floated back on the wind.

"Natsu!" the cat wailed. It sprouted wings and took off after them.

Lucy watched them disappear into the distance, and then wailed herself. "We should have captured him!" She clutched at her hair. "How long is is going to take for him to get back to Magnolia and report back? Auriga could get him sixty miles away before time runs out... but what if he goes south? That would nearly take him back to Magnolia! I should have told Auriga to go north. I should have asked him to try and put him on the ferry at Brownian Town or-"

"Lucy, please don't worry!" Juvia said. "You said to go as far away as possible. East of us is mountainous, so Auriga would not be able to travel so quickly. So he will probably go directly west where the ground is flatter, so they will still end up a long way from Magnolia Town. And it will only take us ten minutes to go back to the guild hall and see Master Jose. Anyway, Auriga does not have the Fairy mage's passport, so he would never be able to put him on a ferry to begin with."

"Yeah... yeah, you're right," Lucy said, and struggled to slow her breathing.

"Lucy," Juvia said, and took her by the arms. "What is happening? Why did you enrol under a false name?"

"My father owns the Heartfilia Konzern," Lucy said.

Juvia blinked. "Juvia is sorry. She thinks she misheard Lucy."

"No, Juvia didn't," Lucy said. "I ran away a year ago. I didn't want to use my real name when I joined up because then everyone would know who my father is. But now-" She struggled to put it into words. The first few months after she had left home, she had been paranoid, avoiding train stations because her father owned most of them and scrutinising the papers to make sure her face wasn't pictured. But nothing had happened, and eventually she had relaxed. It was as if he was pretending she had never left, or that she had never existed. "Why now? Why is he trying to get me back now?" Lucy scrubbed her hands across her face. "Why would he send another guild to kidnap me!? What sort of father does that?"

"Lucy's father is not a good man," Juvia said. "We're fortunate that Master Jose is here this week. We should tell him what's happened." Lucy nodded. Juvia grasped her hand and the two of them hurried towards the guild hall. Lucy looked back anxiously over her shoulder as they went. She could almost laugh. She'd faced S-ranked dark mages and chthonians, and now she was scared because her father wanted her brought home?

Juvia stormed straight through the hall, up to the mezzanine and high up into the castle tower, towing Lucy behind her. At a massive set of oak doors, Lucy hesitated, but Juvia pushed them open and walked straight in. "Master!"

Lucy followed her, looking around. This was an audience chamber, decorated in green and grey and furnished with bookcases of massive leatherbound books and tables of expensive artifacts. At the far end of the hall was a stone dais, and on that was a massive chair – a throne, really – where Master Jose sat. Bozo was standing in front of the dais, holding a sheaf of papers to his chest, but he stepped back out of Juvia's way as the Element Four mage marched to stand before Master Jose's throne.

"Is something bothering you, Juvia?" Master Jose asked.

Juvia's hands clenched into fists. "Fairy Tail have tried to kidnap Lucy!" Master Jose sat up straighter.

"What? One of my mages?" His expression darkened. "Makarov's disgusting brats tried to lay a hand on one of my mages? Was this with his permission?"

"It must have been! Nobody would be foolish enough to disobey their master on a matter of this gravity," Juvia said.

The shadows grew darker. Deep cold curled around Lucy's spine. "How dare they?" Master Jose hissed. "They will regret that they were ever born for this!" The magical pressure in the room had grown chokingly thick. "Do we need to make it painfully clear which of us is the superior?"

"Yes, Master! We should stamp them out like insects!" Juvia cried. "Fairy Tail_ cannot be allowed to live_!"

Lucy blinked at Juvia who, while still Lucy's best friend forever and ever, had clearly completely lost her mind, and then at Bozo, who shrugged and raised his hand.

"Master, I completely agree with everything you just said, but... why Ashley? She's not that important, is she?"

"Ow," Lucy said.

Master Jose raked his stare over Lucy. "Is it this young lady?" Lucy felt like a naughty child, called to stand in front of her father's desk. "Why target her?"

Lucy explained haltingly, while Juvia put her hands on her hips and stood over her like a bodyguard. "My real name is Heartfilia, not Ashley. I ran away from home a year ago, and now my father's hired Fairy Tail to bring me back."

Master Jose's eyes narrowed. "Would that be the Heartfilias of the-"

"The Heartfilia Konzern? Yes," Juvia said. "It is her father's company."

Master Jose considered that. He looked from Lucy, to Juvia, to Bozo (who was looking completely dumbfounded) and said "Juvia, would you and Charles summon the rest of the Element Four and the First Division?" Charles? Who? Oh, right, Bozo had an actual name.

Juvia hesitated, looking at Lucy.

"I assure you, Miss Heartfilia is entirely safe in my care," Master Jose said.

"Of course, master," Juvia said, and turned to go. Bozo went with her.

The other mages of the Element Four and the rest of the First Division?! Lucy knew it wasn't really for her sake – it was for the guild's pride – but it was still reassuring to know what sort of forces were being gathered in her defense.

Master Jose steepled his fingers. "So you ran away, and your father is trying to retrieve you?" Lucy nodded. Master Jose nodded too, slowly. "His methods may be drastic, but surely it's not odd that he would wish to have you home?" Lucy's mouth turned down at the corners. "It can be so tragic, when rifts spring up between family members. Have you considered meeting with him, making a reconciliation?" Master Jose spread his hands wide. "As your guild master, I only have your best interests in mind."

Lucy shook her head. "If he was interested in reconciliation, wouldn't he have come to see me, or written me a letter, instead of hiring Fairy trash to drag me back by force?"

"Are you quite sure?" Master Jose asked. "A family is a great support, even when they're not so wealthy as the Heartfilias, and I don't think any First Division mage needs to be advised to take full use of their resources."

"It's already... not something that can be made up," Lucy said. "He's never been like a real father. I don't ever want to see him again, and I won't ever use his money-"

"Miss Heartfilia-"

Lucy lowered her voice, calmed her breathing and said "Miss Ashley, Master, if you don't mind." It was just weird, being called Miss Heartfilia again after a whole year.

Master Jose sat back. "Well, I can see that your mind is made up, and I know better than to try and change my First Division mages' minds." Lucy smiled a little. "That's unfortunate..." Lucy ducked her head, embarrassed. He stood up. "This trouble with Fairy Tail will be difficult to resolve." Master Jose walked past Lucy, towards the door. She heard him step behind her.

Everything went black.


	10. The Amazing Disappearing Lucy

"Can I just say thanks for getting me out of that?" Bozo asked Juvia, as they clattered down the stairs. "The master may be a great mage, but he doesn't really understand administration. I was worried I'd be there until tomorrow morning."

"Bozo is welcome," Juvia said shortly. She wanted to know what the master and Lucy were talking about! She and Bozo reached the hall at one end of the mezzanine where the guild's inter-branch communications lacrima was housed.

"You do it. They're not going to listen to me," Bozo said.

"Bozo is too unkind to himself," Juvia said reflexively, even though it was completely true. She stepped closer to the lacrima. "Calling Ivy Town, Subdivision Twenty-Seven!"

* * *

"Monsieur Sol!" A First Division girl unlatched the gate to Sol's garden and stepped inside. "You've had a message from Juvia of the Deep at Oak Town!" She looked around. The garden was lit by lamps on wrought iron posts. The walls were covered with such thick blankets of white clematis they looked like tethered clouds. The whole garden was a riot of flowers and colour and overwhelmingly thick intermingled scents. She took another step, gravel crunching under her boots. "Juvia says-" The earth ruptured under her feet. "_Yeek_!"

Sol burst out of the ground in a spray of gravel and wound tight around her. "_Non, non, non_, mademoiselle, I condemn your actions with three _non_s! Were you not warned never to enter my garden?"

"I'm sorry!" she yelped. "There's a message from-"

"_Non, non, non_! That is entirely incorrect!"

"Uh, crap – _je suis très désolé_!"

The coils tightened around her, squeezing the air out of her lungs.

"You are not _un homme_, are you, mademoiselle?"

The girl wheezed. "_Je suis très désolée_!" Her eyes rolled back in her head.

"_Oui, oui, oui_!" Sol let go of her. She fell forward into the gravel, gasping. "How kind of you to bring me a message! _Qu'est-ce qui se passe_?"

"Juvia called," she rasped. "The master wants you at Oak Town right now! Fairy Tail's pulled some stupid crap, and we're going to destroy them!"

* * *

Some way outside Amaryllis Town, Totomaru drew his katana and held it by his side, ready for a quick upwards slash. The bandits fell back.

"Are you all too craven to fight me?" Totomaru taunted them. "Against unarmed civilians, old women and small children, you'll attack without hesitation, but you're too afraid to face one of Phantom Lord's Element oh fuck it my lacrima crystal's buzzing." He sheathed his katana and rummaged through his clothes. He said more bad words. "Where's it gone?!" The crystal had rolled around the back of his jacket. He wriggled out of one sleeve and twisted to reach it. "There!"

The bandits stared. Totomaru held up one finger to them and activated the lacrima. "It's Totomaru. What do you want? … On whose authority? Juvia's? Fine. When? Now? Why? … fucking _finally_! I'll be there by morning!" He deactivated the lacrima crystal, dropped it back into his jacket, turned and walked away.

"Hey!" one of the bandits yelled after him. "Where do you think you're going?"

Totomaru turned, drawing his katana from its sheath. "White Fire!" He slashed the sword through the air. An arc of eyesearing white flame erupted in its wake. The blast picked the bandits up and flung them back like rag dolls, tore leaves and small branches from the trees, and ruffled up Totomaru's hair.

Totomaru fixed his hair, sheathed his sword again and headed back to Amaryllis Town.

"Man, you had to ask," another bandit groaned to the first, and passed out.

* * *

In Rue Town's famous opera hall, the soprano lay on the stage with her red silk robe pooled around her. The violinists struck up a mournful melody. Slowly, the soprano rose to her knees, clasped her hands to her chest and launched into the famous aria, _Mi fa male la gamba_.

For some people, the aria was drowned out by a deep voice booming "Oh, how sorrowful! Where does this grief come from? Is this the tragedy of a strong woman brought low?" Many of those people had paid five thousand jewel apiece for their seats. They were not impressed.

The door at the back of the private box opened. "Aria? Sir?" A skinny First Division mage slipped into the box. Slowly and silently, Aria turned his head to look at him. "We've received a call from Juvia Lockser." Aria stood up. "She's requested that you go to the Oak Town branch as quickly as possible. Master Jose is planning a strike against Fairy Tail." Aria crossed quickly to the back of the box and held out both hands over the mage, palms turned towards him.

"Airspace: Metsu!" Golden light flared up around the mage. He shrieked in agony and fell to the floor as his magic was torn out of him. Aria went back to the front of the box.

The soprano had stopped singing. The violinists had frozen. Every face was turned towards Aria's box.

"From the beginning, please," Aria called down, and settled back into his seat.

* * *

Juvia stepped away from the lacrima and exhaled.

"Aria's at the opera? Guess we should expect him in about a week, then," Bozo said. Juvia pursed her lips, because it would be unprofessional of her to comment on a fellow mage of the Element Four.

"Juvia will find Lucy. Please notify Gajeel of the situation, if you see him."

"Will do," Bozo said. Juvia went back upstairs. When she got to Master Jose's audience chamber, he was just coming out. He shut the door firmly behind him.

"Is there a problem, Juvia?"

"Where is Lucy?"

"I dismissed her twenty minutes ago," Master Jose said. "Have you not seen her? Oh, dear. She wouldn't have tried to go home, would she? She seemed _terribly_ overwrought..."

Lucy wouldn't have left the guild. Lucy wasn't stupid, Juvia thought. Lucy also wasn't anywhere upstairs, or in the beer hall, or in the library, or the kitchen, or the bathrooms, or the small dormitory where two subdivisioners were currently unconscious in a haze of alcohol fumes.

Rain began to patter on the roof of the beer hall. Juvia walked quietly from the bottom of the steps to the table where Sue and Bozo were sitting.

"Juvia cannot find Lucy," Juvia said. "Have you seen Lucy?"

"Not since you both came in like an hour ago," Sue said, and looked up. She blanched. "H-hey... what's with that face?"

Juvia didn't answer. She turned and raced out of the hall into the street. Lucy could not have tried to go home! Why would Lucy have left Juvia? But Lucy was not in the guild hall, and there was nowhere else she could have gone, and if she had gone out then Fairy Tail could have-

Juvia ran straight into Gajeel with a splash.

"Hey! Lockser! Look where you're going!" He swiped water off his face with a disgusted noise.

"Juvia cannot find Lucy!" Juvia cried.

"So?" Gajeel said. "You're not keeping her on a leash, are you? I know you're clingy, but that's going too far."

"Fairy Tail has kidnapped her!"

"What?" Gajeel screwed his face up. "Is that something that happened, or something you imagined?"

"Fairy Tail's Dragon Slayer tried to kidnap her! We defeated him, but now I don't know where Lucy is!"

"What? That trash!" Gajeel clenched his fists. "You think another one's grabbed her? Are you sure?"

Juvia wavered. "Juvia is not certain. But Lucy is not in the guild, and if she tried to get home-"

"-then she might have got there, right? Don't freak out when you don't even know she's in trouble! Where's she live, anyway?"

Lucy's flat was two doors away from Juvia's house. Juvia pushed one finger into the lock, reshaped her water until it matched Lucy's door key, and twisted. The door opened.

"Handy," Gajeel said.

"Lucy? Lucy!" Juvia shouted, hurrying up the stairs. Lucy didn't answer.

"Oi, princess!" Gajeel yelled.

"She wouldn't answer you if she didn't answer me," Juvia said.

"Maybe she didn't hear you," Gajeel said, and imitated Juvia's high nervous voice. "Lucy, Lucy!"

Juvia ignored that. "Lucy cannot have been here since we were attacked. Look!" Lucy's whip and ice knuckleduster had been tossed casually onto the kitchen table. "If she had come here, she would have retrieved any weapons she had!"

Gajeel sniffed the air. "She ain't been here in a while. The place stinks of her, but nothing recent."

"Why does Gajeel keep repeating what Juvia tells him?" Juvia said.

"Why are you the only one who gets to investigate? I can detect shit too!"

Juvia's house was empty as well. The conclusion was obvious: Lucy had tried to go home to her flat, or to Juvia's house, and been ambushed by Fairy Tail on the way. Juvia wailed. The rain hammered on the roof.

"Calm down!" Gajeel barked. "We're going to kick the shit out of them for this anyway. You can rescue Lucy at the same time – not that it's worth the effort if she managed to get her ass handed to her by the Fairy Butts, but if that's what you want I can't be bothered to stop you," he added quickly. "Let's head back to the guild!"

When they returned, Master Jose had left for the headquarters. Juvia and Gajeel marched straight up to the communications lacrima to shout over each other at him.

"We need to rescue Lucy!" Juvia said.

"We need to punish the bastards!" Gajeel barked. "And I guess save the blonde princess. If there's time."

"They could have already sent Lucy back to her father!" Juvia cried. "He could have locked her in his attic! He could lock her in his attic and feed her rats until she goes mad!" She buried her face in her hands. Out of sight, Master Jose rolled his eyes.

"Wait, is that why they want her?" Gajeel asked. "Her dad's paid them off?"

"...Why did Gajeel think they wanted her?" Juvia asked.

"Well-" Gajeel cupped his hands about a foot in front of his chest.

"No," Juvia said.

"Gajeel. Juvia," Master Jose said. "Obviously, it was foolish of Lucy to allow herself to be captured, but there's no reason to believe she's in any danger. Don't do anything rash. In fact, don't do anything unless I tell you to."

"Master!" Gajeel and Juvia said simultaneously.

"This is an order," Master Jose said. His eyelids drooped down, giving his face a sinister cast. "Makarov will be punished for daring to insult me this way, and his pathetic excuse for a guild will be crushed beneath our superior strength. The preparations to mobilise the Headquarters are already underway. Which is why I don't want either of you charging into their guild hall now demanding Miss Heartfilia back! Is that clear?"

"Yes, Master," Gajeel said.

Master Jose turned his attention to Juvia. "Is that clear, Juvia?"

"Yes, Master," Juvia said grudgingly.

"Good. Please call the rest of the First Division and order them to Magnolia," Master Jose said, and deactivated his communications lacrima. Why had Master Jose not told Juvia to do that when he sent her to call the rest of the Element Four? Juvia supposed it could have been simply an excuse to send her away, if Master Jose had wanted to speak to Lucy in private. She stalked out onto the mezzanine and banged her hands down on the railing. "Juvia wants to act _now_!"

"Calm down! Master's planning, isn't he? She'll be back before the shops close," Gajeel growled. Juvia leant against the railing of the mezzanine, her lower lip sticking out. "Juvia is worried! Juvia doesn't know where Lucy is or if she is hurt or-"

"Ugh, I'm not going to deal with all this feelings crap," Gajeel grumbled, and stomped past her down the stairs.

The front doors swung open wide. "Excuse me!" a woman called. "We have a message for Master Jose from Master Makarov!"

Gajeel stopped. Juvia lifted her head. Three Fairy Tail mages were standing in the doorway. Titania Erza, instantly recognisable, red hair soaking wet and plastered flat to her skull from Juvia's rain; Mirajane, the pinup girl, less recognisable when fully dressed; and her younger brother, 'Beast Arm' Elfman. Gajeel grinned and started down the steps, clenching his fists so that the leather of his gloves creaked. This ought to be fun -

Then Juvia stormed straight past him. "_Where is Lucy Heartfilia_?"

Mirajane took a step back. "What do you mean?"

"We have no interest in where Lucy Heartfilia is," Erza said, stepping forward past Mirajane. "You're Juvia of the Deep, yes? We received a request to retrieve her, but-"

"We know that," Gajeel sneered. "Considering your weakass Dragon Slayer already tried to jump her and got his ass kicked for it."

Mirajane went white. "..._Natsu_," Erza snarled, with murder in her eyes.

"What did you do with him?!" Mirajane demanded.

"Said he got his ass kicked, didn't I?"

"This is enough talking!" Juvia screamed. "Water Slicer!"

"Mira, run!" Erza shouted and leapt forward, requipping into a skimpy green armour that resembled seaweed as she did. She slashed away two of the water arcs. The others hit square across her torso. One of the shoulder plates fractured. "She's overloading the armour?" Erza gasped. "Mira! _Run_!"

Mirajane whirled and fled out of the door. "Bozo, Sue! Don't let her get away!" Gajeel barked. He raced down the steps and swung an iron-fisted punch at Elfman, who caught it in both hands, one human and one with scales like a lizard's.

"Not bad, for scum," Gajeel sneered.

"A man is still a man even if he's scum!" Elfman retorted.

"Gihihi!" Gajeel said. He transformed one leg into an iron bar and slammed a vicious kick into Elfman's solar plexus that sent him flying backwards, air wheezing from his lungs. "Don't flatter yourself. Trash's just trash!"

Juvia brought both her hands together. "Water Blast!" Even through the armour's nullifying field, the jet of high-pressure water swept Erza off her feet, spun her over and around and slammed her into the wall. The plaster cracked and the bricks cratered under the impact. Her sword was torn from her hand. One of the greaves cracked.

Erza staggered to her feet, dizzy and dripping wet. The armour couldn't take another hit like that. Juvia stretched out both hands and screamed "Water Cyclone!" A magical seal formed in front of her and blasted out a torrent of raging water. Erza requipped a pair of cutlasses, and as the maelstrom hit she sliced through it in a blur of gleaming metal. The cyclone collapsed. Erza leapt through the falling water and slashed both cutlasses downwards straight through Juvia's chest. Juvia didn't bother to dodge. All the attack achieved with bringing Erza into close range.

"Water Jigsaw!" Juvia's body transformed into a whirling mass of blades. Erza was flung aside into a table, which broke under the impact. The subdivisioners who had been sitting there scrambled up and ran. The sea-green armour shattered.

Erza had requipped into a new set of armour before the pieces could even hit the ground. This one was white and pale blue, with gold trim and a skirt made from four leaves of fabric. A spear with two points solidified in her hands. She spun the spear over her head, electricity crackling as it built up between its twin points, and brought it down hard. "Lightning Strike!"

The electric bolt tore through Juvia and threw her down, but her agonised cry rose higher and became a scream of fury. "Juvia doesn't care what you do! Juvia doesn't care about pain! Juvia will not forgive anyone who tries to take Lucy away from her!"

"Is she a berserker?" Erza rasped.

Juvia slammed both palms against the floor. "Sierra!" The water that made up her body boiled. Erza switched armour again, to a white leather leotard with orange pauldrons and a pair of one-handed swords, and gripped the hilts tight. Juvia lunged at Erza.

Erza brought her swords up, aimed squarely at Juvia's chest, and Juvia hurled herself onto them. There was a sick wet squelching sound as she forced her body further onto the blades, until the hilts were buried in her chest. Erza stumbled back. Juvia brought her fist up, surrounded with pressurised water, and nailed Erza with a solid left hook. It was like being blasted with a fire-hose at point-blank range. Erza went flying, skidded along the floor, and crashed into the wall.

"Erza!" Elfman yelled.

"Pay attention!" Gajeel shouted, and landed a solid punch to Elfman's gut that doubled him over. Gajeel brought both iron-scaled fists down on the back of the other mage's neck, and he crumpled to the floor. Gajeel planted a boot square on Elfman's head.

"Should I finish this trash off?" he asked the guild as a whole.

"Finish him off!" they roared. Gajeel swung one arm up and transformed it into an iron bar. Erza staggered to her feet, and as Gajeel brought his arm down for a killing blow she threw herself between him and Elfman. The impact of the iron bar across her back knocked her down and left her sprawling over Elfman. Her armour disintegrated, leaving her in a plain white blouse and blue skirt.

Gajeel put the boot in a couple of times, in an experimental way, but neither of the Fairy Tail mages moved. They weren't getting up again in a hurry.

"Trash," he said. "Master Jose'll want them taken to the headquarters."

* * *

Mira raced through the streets, breath sawing in her throat. Nothing was familiar. She didn't recognise anything she saw. She'd badly lost her way. She needed to get out of Oak Town and back to Magnolia, tell Master what had happened-

Mira's feet stopped moving. The rest of her tumbled forward onto the ground. "Ow!" Mira tried to scramble back to her feet and couldn't. Her legs were paralysed. "Let me go!" Mira shouted, staring around wildly for her attacker. "Where are you?"

"Over here! Hello!" A green-haired boy with headphones around his neck ambled into her line of sight. "So, what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like-"

Mira flicked her fingers at his face. "Sleep!" The Phantom mage's eyes rolled up in his head and he fell backwards.

Behind Mira, a girl gasped "Rossa!" There was another one?! Mira twisted to look around. A heavy staff slammed into the back of her head. Lights burst behind her eyes. She slumped forward. Lee Annur hurried to Rossa's side.

"Hey! Lee! You got her!" Sue called, as she and Bozo hurried up. "What's wrong with Rossa?"

"That bitch knocked him out," Lee Annur said. She pulled Rossa's arm over her shoulder and stood up, pulling him with her. His head lolled against her shoulder. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Well, he's survived moped crashes, burning buildings and being eaten by a kraken, but yeah, falling over in the street, that's_ lethal_," Bozo said.

"Maybe in the future you should wrap him up entirely in cotton wool and keep him in a box," Sue suggested.

Lee Annur made a rude gesture at both of them and added "Agares, begone," to the crocodile-demon, which vanished in a puff of brimstone.

"Thanks for that," Sue said, looking down at Mirajane. "No, seriously, thanks, zero sarcasm. Guess what Gajeel did? Told us to chase after her and then started brawling in the doorway."

Lee Annur rolled her eyes. "Typical – what's she done, anyway?"

Bozo and Sue both looked at her oddly. "You haven't heard?"

"Heard what?" Lee Annur said. "We saw Fairy Tail's chief slut running for it and Rossa figured we should stop her."

"...typical," Sue said.

* * *

Lucy woke up face-down on the floor with her wrists tied behind her back. For a moment, she lay still, puzzled by the cold stone under her cheek. She lifted her head up, mumbled a dozy "Huh... hey, is anyone-" and then reality caught up with her.

She'd been captured by Fairy Tail!

Lucy sat up and stared around. Her heart was pounding. She was in a tiny stone cell. Her keys weren't on her belt. She kicked out against the floor and couldn't feel Serpens' key in her boot.

The room was completely bare and empty, nothing she could use as a weapon. She couldn't see any sign of where she was or how long she'd been lying there unconscious. There was a tiny barred window in the steel door, though. Lucy got to her feet with difficulty and went to peer through the window. Master Jose looked back at her.

Lucy gasped and threw herself backwards. She landed on her bound wrists with a cry of pain. Master Jose pushed the door open.

"Master?! What's going on?" Lucy scrambled to her feet. Was he here to help her?

He was smiling like he wasn't here to help her.

"Objecting to the conditions, are we?" Jose smirked down at her. "True, this filthy cell is hardly fitting accomodation for a young lady of your status, but you are currently a prisoner so I hope you'll be understanding."

It took Lucy a second to understand that. "You – you're - you can't imprison me! I'm in your guild!"

Master Jose chuckled. Lucy backed away from him. "I'm afraid that's exactly why I can imprison you. We have accommodation prepared for an honoured guest, rather than for a prisoner-"

"What's that supposed to mean?" A millipede ran over her foot. Lucy kicked it off and stamped on it.

"If you show a little more cooperation than you have, I'll transfer you to the luxury suite," Jose promised. Lucy could guess that the luxury suite would still have locks on the doors and bars on the windows. A prison in a palace with mile after mile of gardens and a regiment of fawning maids was still a prison. She exploded.

"I'm not going back! I'm not going back to that house!"

"Oh, my," Jose said. "What a troublesome young lady." He was smirking.

"Let me go, right now!" Lucy barked. "I'm a mage of your guild! Doesn't that mean anything to you?" Hot tears stung her eyes. "I would have been better off if Fairy Tail caught me!"

"Now, now," Jose chided her. "Throwing a tantrum won't achieve anything."

Lucy swallowed back an angry retort, because he was right. She lifted her head and looked around the cell. No way out except the door Jose was standing in. Behind him, she could see sky and distant mountains. It sparked off a faint memory. Something Sue had said, about the prisons at the headquarters...

"I can get out of here," she said, though there was a tremor in her voice.

Jose laughed. "You have heard of our Sky Cells, yes?" Lucy nodded. That was what Sue had called them. Jose turned and gestured out to the vast expanse of sky. The wind ruffled his cloak. Lucy took a step forward. "You are a hundred feet above the ground." Lucy took another step forward. "Even if you were able to get through the door, you would still have to-" Lucy tackled him through the door and off the ledge. They fell, screaming.


	11. Trouble

Lucy screamed. The wind whipped through her hair. The ground was rushing up to meet them. The little wings on Jose's cape burst open, ten or twenty times the size they had been, and beat wildly. It wasn't enough to arrest them in freefall, but they were well below terminal velocity when they hit the ground.

The impact knocked all the air out of both of them, but Jose had landed first and Lucy on top of him. She struggled gasping to her feet, booted him square in the crotch and ran. Behind her, Jose curled up into a wheezing, injured ball.

Good, Lucy thought, and ran faster.

* * *

The Oak Town guildhall was a hive of activity. The three Fairy Tail mages were being taken to the headquarters, Elfman and Erza Scarlet still unconscious and Mirajane bound and gagged. A number of First Division mages were going with them, Lee Annur among them with Rossa slung across her demon Marchosias's back. Bozo was using the communications lacrima to put out an all-divisions bulletin, calling all First Division mages to Magnolia and putting the subdivisions on standby. The rest of the First Division were getting ready for a fight.

Since Bozo was using the communications lacrima, Juvia, Gajeel and Totomaru, just arrived from Amaryllis, were taking their orders from a thought projection of Master Jose's in his office. The master's hat was askew and his cape rumpled. He had obviously been working hard to mobilise the headquarters; Juvia was grateful.

"So we're attacking the guild hall directly?" Totomaru asked, drumming his fingers on the hilt of his katana.

"Yes! That must be where she's- that must be where those_ terrible_ people are keeping her," Master Jose said. "You three will lead a surprise attack on their glorified bar. The headquarters will arrive shortly afterwards, and then the remainder of the First Division can sweep the city for survivors. Every last Fairy mage will be stamped out. Makarov cannot be allowed to get his hands on the Heartfilia fortune!"

"And Lucy, Master. We don't want him to have his hands on Lucy either," Juvia reminded him.

"Oh. Yes. Of course not," Jose agreed. Juvia wasn't so naïve as to think that Master Jose really cared about Lucy – he was interested in avenging an insult to his guild and keeping a potential resource out of Master Makarov's hands – but there was a murderous glitter in his eyes that Juvia was happy to have turned against Lucy's enemies.

"Is there word on when Sol and Aria will arrive?" she asked.

"Aria'll show up just in time to jump someone from behind and take all the credit for eliminating them," Totomaru guessed. "Sol's a creepy bastard, who needs him?"

"What the hell do you know about it?" Gajeel growled. "Aria's a lot creepier than Sol is."

"Juvia would like it if everyone could concentrate on the matter at hand," Juvia said.

"When was the last time Aria burst out of the ground and looped himself around someone like a boa constrictor? Does Sol still pull that crap about his monocle telling him things?" Totomaru asked Gajeel. "Why does he do that? Everyone knows he just read it in the paper."

"This is _not helping_ to find Lucy!" Juvia screamed. Totomaru and Gajeel both blinked at her in startled horror. Totomaru mimed zipping shut his mouth.

"Gentlemen, Juvia," Master Jose said, "Aria and Monsieur Sol plan to travel directly to Magnolia. I am sure they will _rendez-vous_ with you promptly upon your arrival. Are you all quite ready?"

"Juvia is ready to fight, master!"

"Looking forward to it," Gajeel growled, with a grin that bared all his sharp teeth.

"We should have trashed those Fairy shits years ago," Totomaru said.

"Good," Jose said, and signed off.

The three mages headed for the door. Totomaru swung it open wide, disturbing the still air, and held it open for Juvia.

"Gajeel?" Juvia asked.

"In a minute," Gajeel growled. Totomaru shrugged, and the two of them headed downstairs. Gajeel had caught a familiar scent. Perfume and hair stuff, herbs and flowery smells he was too manly to be able to identify and a sharp metallic tang underneath it. Ashley? Well, no shit. She'd been in there the night before, hadn't she? And the way she drenched herself in perfume it was phenomenal that Gajeel could smell anything else.

Still, it smelt fresher than that. He followed it to one of the bookcases and scowled over the fancy-looking leather-bound volumes on display. A book of children's stories, a couple of history books, atlases, Diseases of the Cow Vol. IV – He picked Diseases of the Cow off the shelf and rifled through it. Inside a cutout compartment he found the princess's keys. Gajeel held them up by the keyring for a long moment, staring at them.

"Stupid bitch forgot her keys," he said finally. He clipped them onto his belt, under his tunic so Juvia wouldn't see them, and left.

* * *

When Lucy pushed the front door of the guildhall open, twenty minutes later, the rest of First Division was already gone. A few mages from Subdivision Three looked up. "Weren't you supposed to be kidnapped?" one of them said, astonished. "I heard Fairy Tail had run off with Gajeel's woman."

"I'm not Gajeel's woman," Lucy snapped. They blinked at her. Lucy backpedaled. "...so, obviously, they've kidnapped whoever is? Where's everyone gone?"

"Magnolia," one of them said, as if it should be obvious. "Or the headquarters, but the headquarters is going to Magnolia too."

Lucy would have just missed them, then. She'd taken the long way back to Oak Town, because the main route would have been the first place Master Jose would have looked for her. Either way, Juvia was going to Magnolia, and therefore so was Lucy.

She stopped off at home briefly to get her whip and knuckleduster, and then headed for the train station.

* * *

As Loke passed her, Cana looked up from the tarot reading she was doing for Bisca, and Romeo asked "Where are you going?" He was leaning on the table, watching with interest. Cana had already agreed that he could have the next go.

"Brunch with... uh... Carmen? It's probably Carmen. It's _definitely_ brunch."

"Feeling better, then?" Cana asked, and got a patented Loke sparkling grin and a wink for her concern.

"How could I be ill with so many beautiful girls around?" He breezed out of the hall with a wave. Cana turned back to the tarot.

"Okay, third card stands for the future-" She flipped it over. "Four of Wands! That's good. It stands for celebration, jumping around like an excited little kid, letting go of limitations..." She glanced pointedly towards Alzack. Bisca was looking at the card, and completely missed it. Cana took another swig of her beer and reached for the fourth card. "This one stands for-"

The front doors crashed open and Loke was flung through them. He hit the bar, rolled over it and fell limply to the floor on the other side. "I didn't know Loke could fly!" Laki Olietta said in astonishment.

Cana swung to face the door. The morning sunlight streaming through it silhouetted a massive hulking man with violently spiky hair. He laughed. "Gihihi!" A slim young woman in a tall hat slipped past him.

"Please permit Juvia to make introductions. We are Phantom Lord."

Cana threw the table aside, scattering her tarot deck, snatched up Romeo and dived out of Bisca's way. Bisca requipped her rifle, raised it to her shoulder in one smooth motion, and fired.

"Form Mirror!" someone yelled. A wall of shimmering mirrors materialised in front of the Phantom mages. The first burst of attacks – Bisca and Alzack's rounds, Max Alors' sand blast, and Macao's purple bullets – were swallowed up in the mirrors.

"Get down!" Cana shouted, and threw herself down on top of Romeo, shielding him with her body, a moment before the mirror wall spat their attacks back out. Macao's bullets shattered the woodwork above the bar. One of Alzack's Spark Shot bullets hit Bisca. She shrieked and crumpled to the floor.

"Bisca!" Alzack shouted, and ran to her side, just as Laki Olietta pressed both her hands to the ground. "Wood-Make: Dam of Shy Love!"

The wooden arsenal that erupted from the ground hit several of the Phantom Lord mages, flinging them right off their feet. It hit Alzack, too. Cana scrambled to her feet and towards the back of the room, dragging Romeo with her. Where was their master? Hadn't he been upstairs? Wakaba Mine tried to cast Smoke Crush, but he was sent flying backwards and his pipe knocked from his mouth when Chico=C=Hammitt's limp body was thrown into him. The slender woman in the tall hat was a blur of scything water, and her voice was raised in a scream of fury. "Where is Lucy? Tell me what you've done with Lucy!"

Who the _hell_ was Lucy?

A Phantom Lord mage with rough stony skin loomed over Cana, both hands spread wide. "Elemental Dar-"

Cana flung a card into his face. "Sleep!" He toppled backwards. Cana raced for the back of the room, dragging Romeo behind her, and shoved him at Macao. "Get him out of here!" Romeo ducked behind his dad. Cana reached for her pack of cards. The hall was too small and crowded with Fairy Tail mages for any of her wide-ranging spells. Cana gritted her teeth. She would take them out with individual sleep spells, if she had to!

"Cana!" Makarov shouted. Cana's head snapped up. Makarov hurtled down the stairs, tossing Cana something small and round as he did. "Get them out of here!"

Retreat from their own guild hall? Cana goggled, but swiftly regained her composure. A good mage of Fairy Tail would do whatever Makarov said, and being a good mage of Fairy Tail was the work of Cana's whole life.

"Retreat! Everybody out!" she yelled. "Split up and meet at the safehouse!"

"What?" Gray barked. "No way!"

"Gray, out!" Makarov roared, and plunged into the fray.

Gray hissed between his teeth but scooped up Chico and headed for the back door. The rest of Fairy Tail followed after him, spilling out onto the lake shore in a shambles and scattering. Cana threw a quick look back at her guild hall, almost choking on her fury, and ran. Master Makarov would be right behind them. Right?

Back in the guild hall, the Phantom mages tried to chase after them. Makarov took on his Titan form, broke a rafter from the ceiling and swung it like a club. It sent the rank-and-file flying but swept harmlessly through Juvia's midsection. Totomaru somersaulted over it. Gajeel tried to grab the beam in both hands as it swung towards him, but was flung back into the wall instead. It cratered under the impact. Juvia charged in as Makarov turned away from her. "Water Slicer!" The arcs tore Makarov's orange shirt to pieces and knocked his striped hat off, but that was all.

Gajeel clambered out of the wreckage, staggered, and made to attack again. Makarov dropped the rafter, turned and smacked Gajeel silly. The Iron Dragon Slayer fell squarely on his ass with a startled "Kyah!" Totomaru blanched and backed away. Juvia brought both her hands together. "Double Wave!" Twin waves burst through the floor and crashed against Makarov. He took a step back.

"What the hell do you brats think you're doing, pulling a surprise attack like this?" he rumbled. "Tell Jose to come and fight me fair and square, if he wants to fight! Where are the kids I sent to you?"

Gajeel got back to his feet and said "Locked up," with a breathless effort at his usual chuckle. Makarov's eyebrows drew sharply together and he scooped up the rafter again.

"You attacked people paying you a peaceful visit?"

"Don't pretend you're the victim here, old man," Totomaru drawled. He was circling around behind Makarov, his sword drawn. Juvia's voice rose to a scream.

"You took Lucy! What have you done with Lucy?"

"Lucy Heartfilia? We've done nothing with her. My kids would have told you we refused the mission," Makarov growled.

"Lies!" Juvia shouted. "You attacked us! Your Dragon Slayer attacked us and you _stole Lucy_!"

"_Natsu_?" Makarov stumbled back, aghast, and Aria materialised behind him.

"So-so-so-" Makarov whipped around. Aria's voice rose, rattled the rafters and shook dust from the ceiling. "Sorrowful!" He cast Metsu. Makarov's magic poured out of him as golden light that filled the hall with unbearable brightness. Juvia and Totomaru turned away, covering their eyes. Gajeel watched, and laughed. Fairy Tail's master toppled to the ground. Aria covered his blindfolded eyes with his hands and cried rivers.

"...See? I told you," Totomaru said. "We put in all the effort and Aria swoops in at the last moment to take the glory." He sheathed his sword, folded his arms and sulked spectacularly. Gajeel was blinking and rubbing his eyes.

Juvia turned aside and looked for Lucy. Fairy Tail's master's power hung heavy in the air and clouded her senses, but there was something a little strange about Lucy's magical aura, something like the sound of a plucked wire reverberating inside Juvia's skull, and that made it very easy to detect. "Lucy is not here," she said.

* * *

The Fairies huddled in the safe house, a warehouse packed with crates. Gray was pacing in his boxer shorts. The rest of his clothes were lying on the floor of the guild hall. "I can't believe we left Loke and the old man!"

"I thought he was going to follow us," Levy said miserably. She was sitting between Jet and Droy and staring at her shoes.

Kageyama leant over to Mickey Chickentiger and muttered something. "Oh!" Mickey said. "Kage says if the master hadn't stalled them we'd have lost a lot more people than that." Kageyama looked aghast.

"That's right. That's why he stayed," Cana said shortly. "If they managed to take down the old man, what were the rest of us supposed to do?"

"Fine," Gray said, and blew out an exasperated sigh. "But what about Loke?"

Cana had done a reading for Loke when she'd heard he was ill, nothing complicated, not anything she'd bothered to tell him about. The Five of Pentacles, the Nine of Swords... and Death. She'd decided he was moping about a bad breakup and blaming himself for it, and it wouldn't last much longer. Death usually only stood for change. That might be all it meant.

"Gray, we'll fix it," Cana said. She flipped her cards over. The Queen of Swords, obvious. The Tower – sudden crisis and revelation. The Lovers – really? _Erza_? The Five of Cups, for loss and pain, and the Chariot, for victory - Cana threw the cards aside. "It's useless! They're not telling me anything conclusive!" She scrubbed her hands across her face. "I think the master, Elfman and Mirajane are fine, just captured, but only because I keep getting the Eight of Swords – it signifies imprisonment – and Mira and Elfman have been turning up that one ever since Lisanna-"

"If you can bring up something for Mirajane and Elfman but not Erza," Levy said, going pale, "does that mean-"

"It might just mean there's something else overshadowing what's going on now! I'm sure the reading would make perfect sense to_ Erza_," Cana said.

"There's no way Erza would lose to Phantom mages. You don't know what you're talking about," Gray snapped, nearly simultaneously. Levy raised both hands and settled into miserable silence. "Cana, can't you-"

"Can't I do _what_?" Cana interrupted. "I've tried looking for the master and Erza, Mira and Elfman. I'm trying to think of a plan. You know I've never had any luck trying to find Mystogan and-" The lacrima in Gray's hand began to glow. He looked down at it in surprise. "...Gray, is that a communications lacrima?" Cana said.

"I don't know. I was checking if there was power stored in it," Gray said, and handed it over. It was the tiniest communications lacrima Cana had ever seen. Most likely it could only reach other communications lacrimae, not any person anywhere like the big one in the guild hall, and maybe only specific ones, like the magical equivalent of a tin can telephone.

"Hello?" she said to it hesitantly. "This is Cana of Fairy Tail." The glow brightened a little, but there was no answer. Cana looked at Gray, who shrugged. She tapped it with a fingernail. It went 'ting'. "Is this thing working?"

"It's working," someone confirmed in a low voice. Cana jumped.

"Right! Uh... We're at war with Phantom Lord. They just attacked our guild hall and captured our master."

"Understood."

The glow dimmed. Cana held the lacrima out, looked at it, looked at Gray and then said "That must have been Mystogan. He's so _weird_." The glow cut out entirely. "That wasn't exactly an offer to help, was it?"

"He might help. If he can find a way of helping that doesn't involve... being near people," Levy said. Cana thought about that, sighed and held the lacrima up again.

"Luxus."

The lacrima began to glow. A collective wince ran around the safehouse. Luxus's harsh voice echoed out of the lacrima. "What the hell do you want, old man?" He spoke to their master like that?

Cana bit her tongue and said "It's Cana. The master isn't here. Phantom Lord attacked our guild hall and captured him. They probably have Erza, Mira and Elfman as well." She shut her eyes. "We need your help."

There were a few long moments of silence, and then Luxus burst out laughing. "Serves the old geezer right!"

"Luxus!" Cana snapped.

"What? It doesn't have anything to do with me. Deal with it yourselves."

"Erza's missing! We can't-"

"Let them rescue themselves! Fairy Tail doesn't need weaklings who let themselves be kidnapped by scum from Phantom!"

"Luxus! Mira can't-"

"Tell Mira if she agrees to be my woman, I'll help her out," Luxus suggested, and laughed like a hyena. "And if the old man makes it out of this, tell him to retire! He's well past it, if Phantom Lord can get the drop on him!"

"Luxus!" Cana snarled.

"Hey! Is that any way to talk when you're asking for help?" She could hear him grinning. "You should-"

"GO FUCK YOURSELF, LUXUS!" Cana roared. "WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN THIS GUILD? NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE! NOBODY WANTS YOU TO BE MASTER!" Luxus started to say something. "NO, LUXUS! SHUT! THE FUCK! _UP_!" Cana cut out the connection and flung the lacrima away. It rolled across the floor.

Everyone stared at Cana. Their gazes turned slowly to the lacrima, as if it might explode into lightning at any moment. "I know, I know, I'm going to regret that," Cana said. "Any minute now I'll start regretting that." There was no point trying the Thunder God Tribe. The first question Freed would ask would be "What did Laxus say?", and the lacrima probably couldn't hold that many connections anyway.

Master captured, Erza captured, Laxus refusing to help, Mystogan... no idea, Elfman captured, Natsu gone on a mission – not that he was one of their real powerhouses, but he had a way of making everyone feel better – and then Loke and the heart of their guild, Mira...

"We'll save them ourselves, then," Cana said.

"Finally!" Gray said, and headed for the door.

"Gray!"

He turned around. "What? We need to save the master and the rest of them! You just said-"

"I know, but there could be the whole of Phantom and the Element Four between us and them!"

"So?" Gray demanded.

"So we need a plan first!" Cana snapped. "We can't just run in wildly and-" The floor shook. Cana looked down. "Did you feel that?" The floor shook again. Droy's hair stalk vibrated. "Gray, come on!" They raced outside. Gray created a set of ice steps leading to the roof and took them two at a time. Cana scrambled up behind him, but on the top step one of her high heels slipped and she nearly fell. Gray caught her wrist and hauled her safely onto the roof. They looked around. Magnolia Town stretched out before them, a sea of rooftops, the broad shimmering canal and the spires of the cathedral. The roof rattled under them. They turned around.

There was a castle wading towards them through the lake. An actual castle, dug out along with the bedrock and walking on spindly metal spiderlegs. It was massive, much bigger than their own guild hall, so big it blotted out the horizon, and every step raised a giant wave to crash against the lakeshore. The tremor in the earth reached them a moment later.

Gray stared, mouth open. Cana mentally totted up how many drinks she'd had and decided not enough. The castle hauled itself onto the shore. The rest of Fairy Tail spilled out of the safehouse and craned their necks to look up. The shadow of the castle fell over them as its legs straightened, rising until its foundations cleared the dome atop the Fairy Tail guild hall. It stepped forward, and shuffled. Gray cursed. Cana covered her mouth with her hands. The castle settled down on top of the guild hall.

It crumpled like paper. Metal shrieked as the steel support columns bent and joints ruptured. The windows shattered and spat plumes of dust and fragments as the roof caved in. Cana screamed.

* * *

As the headquarters settled, its knee joints shrieked and vented great clouds of steam from the hydraulic lines. The floor listed slightly to one side, tipped too far back the other way as the pilot squad overcompensated, and rebalanced. Juvia stumbled a little as she came aboard. Fairy Tail's guild master was floating in the water bubble that levitated behind her. His face was still an unpleasant shade of green. Gajeel clumped after them.

Master Jose stood on the staircase, his hands clasped tight behind his back. Sol bobbed and swayed at the foot of the steps.

"All the little trash ran for it, but we caught their master," Gajeel reported.

"Good, good," Master Jose said.

"Master, Lucy wasn't in the guild hall," Juvia told him. "Juvia is sure she would have detected her presence if she was!"

"Hmm?" Master Jose said, a little distracted, glancing away from Master Makarov's bubble. "Juvia, you seem very... concerned about Miss Heartfilia. Which is laudable, of course, but don't you think it might be impairing your judgement?"

"No," Juvia said. "Juvia does not think that."

"Well, in the interests of finding our _precious lost lamb_ faster," Master Jose said, smiling in a way that showed all his teeth, "Gajeel should take over looking for her."

"What?" Juvia and Gajeel said simultaneously.

"Gajeel, I want you to find her, wherever she's lur – been hidden. Tear this town apart if you have to," Master Jose ordered.

"Master!" Juvia protested. "Juvia doesn't-"

"That is an _order_, Juvia!"

Juvia huffed and pressed her lips into a thin line.

"I've got a better nose than you, rainy. I'll find her sooner than you ever could," Gajeel drawled. He made it sound like a taunt.

Master Jose ignored the displeasure radiating off Juvia like heat off a fire and crossed to Makarov's bubble. "Hello, Makarov... it's been a long time, hasn't it? Since that regular meeting six years ago. Haha – I'm afraid I made a fool of myself that time. Obviously the wine went to my head..." Makarov glared woozily at a point somewhere to the left of Jose's head. Jose leant closer and lowered his voice. "Your hall is in ruins, Makarov. Your worthless guild is_ finished_ and, wherever your 'children' have run to, _they_ _soon will be_." Makarov glowered at him with helpless loathing.

"Throw this trash in the cells," Master Jose ordered, with undisguised glee, and turned away.


	12. Fairies Are Maybe Not Very Smart

Erza Scarlet had woken to find herself imprisoned. Her arms were stretched out and manacled to the wall at the wrists, and there was a tight band locked around her head to suppress her magic. From the way her shouts had echoed, it must be a small cell, and because of the cold and darkness she decided she must be underground. It was far too dark to see anything. The air smelt of engine oil and stagnant water. The floor seemed to sway under her, which she put down to residual dizziness. Escape seemed impossible.

Erza meant to escape anyway.

She slammed her head back against the wall. Pain flashed right around her skull, and before long the wall began to crumble, but eventually – on the fourteenth blow – the antimagic band cracked. Erza shook her head violently, flinging the pieces to the floor. Its stranglehold on her magic broke. She summoned two massive swords from her massive sword collection and levitated them directly in front of her, where she believed the manacles around her wrists to be. She wasn't actually able to see them.

These blades were perfectly capable of cutting through iron and stone. If she accidentally severed one of her own hands, it was unlikely that she would even feel it, and it would be better to die or lose another body part than to fail in her duty to her guild.

Erza drew a deep breath, closed her eyes and drove the swords forward, into the wall and through her restraints. There was a high scream from the cell next door.

Erza opened her eyes. One of the sword blades was pressed close against the skin of her right wrist. She wiggled her fingers. Fortuitously, they were all still attached.

"Mira? Elfman?"

"Erza?" Mira called, breathless and startled, from next door. "A sword just came through the wall and nearly hit Elfman! ...oh, that was you."

Erza put on her Stealth Armour, a tight-fitting black outfit with split-toed boots, a scarf tied across her nose and mouth, and her red hair bound up in twintails. "I'm escaping!" she shouted loudly. "Stay where you are! I'll let you out in a moment!" She requipped a massive double-bladed axe, felt along the walls until her hand found the door of her cell and hacked through it. A pair of Phantom guards came running. Erza drove the base of the axe haft into the first one's throat, bludgeoned the other around the head with the flat of the blade and stepped over their weakly gasping bodies. The door to Mira and Elfman's cell was fastened with a heavy padlock. Erza sliced through it and kicked the door open.

"Are you all right?" The dim light from the torches in the hallway showed that Mira had been strung up with her wrists above her head and Elfman was manacled to the walls in the same way Erza had been. The sword she had driven through the wall had come out below Elfman's left arm, a handspan from his ribcage. Mira lifted her head, blinking. Her face was stained with tears.

"Mira! What happened?"

"They caught me," Mira said, and sniffled. "There wasn't anything I could do. I'm sorry, I'm so useless-"

Erza cut her off by hacking through her chains. The axe blade bit deep into the stone wall. Mira fell forwards. Erza caught her. "You're not useless. You're the heart of our guild. I won't tolerate you calling yourself useless!" She glared at Mirajane, who quailed.

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Good." Erza stood Mirajane up straight and went to release Elfman. There was another antimagic band locked around Elfman's head. "Hold still," Erza ordered, and hefted her axe.

"Wait, wait!" Mira interrupted. She reached around the back of his head and unclasped the band. "Are you all right, Elfman?" In answer, Elfman braced his back against the wall and pressed both arms forward. The chains snapped taut and creaked under the inexorable pressure. The bolts tore free from the wall. Mira hurried into his arms. "Elfman! Oh, Elfman, I'm sorry, I couldn't and after you tried so hard-"

"It's my fault," Elfman interrupted. "A man ought to be strong enough to protect his sister!"

Mira wiped away tears with the back of her hand. "But-"

"We should leave," Erza said, before the Strausses could spiral into utter misery and self-loathing, and marched back out into the corridor. "Come on!" Mira and Elfman followed her. The corridor was narrow and lined with doors to other cells and flickering magical lamps.

"Natsu!" Erza shouted. "If you're here, show yourself!" There was no answer.

"I think I would stay in prison," Mira said softly to Elfman.

Erza exploded. "Natsu! Come out here and accept your punishment!" The shout reverberated off the walls. Mira stood on tiptoe to look through the windows of the other cells. They were all empty.

"I don't think Natsu's down here. He must have escaped before being captured," Mira said.

"Natsu's a man! Men don't run!" Elfman disagreed, thumping one hand against his other palm.

"Happy's not a man, and Happy can carry Natsu," Mira pointed out. "Besides, if Natsu was here we wouldn't be able to miss him." She sighed. "He's so reckless! I suppose it can't be helped, since he's one of our mages."

Erza intended to solve the problem of Natsu's recklessness by removing his legs. She strode towards the stairs. "Let's go." Several Phantom mages tried to stop them on the way out. Erza didn't give any of them a chance to raise the alarm.

As they climbed through the cellar levels, the three of them became aware of the floor still listing under their feet, like the deck of a ship, and a distant dull regular thudding. Footsteps overhead? "It sounds like machinery," Mira said. "What sort of machinery would there be in a castle?"

They emerged onto the ground floor. Erza looked around, a sword held at the ready.

"Should we try to stay out of sight?" Mira asked. "There'll be more of them than us, and it won't help Fairy Tail if we get recaptured before we can warn them."

"We'll try to avoid being recaptured," Erza promised, though she thought they would have more luck fighting than trying to avoid it. The corridors were completely devoid of any places where the three of them could duck out of sight. Not that they were unadorned – the walls were divided at regular intervals by decorative plaster half-columns – but they were entirely bare of furniture. Darker areas showed on the walls where pictures had hung. Furniture removed in a hurry? Why?

"A window!" Mira said, and pointed. Erza hurried forward, swung it open, and stopped. She had expected to see the rocky landscape around Oak Town. Instead, far below, blurred through the rain, were the rooftops of Magnolia and the clean sheet of Lake Sciliora. They were level with the spire of Caldia Cathedral.

"What-" Erza leant out of the window. The ground was growing ever more distant. She looked to the side and saw the iron spiderlegs flex and lift the building higher. A walking castle? Erza scrambled out of the window, raced to the edge of the foundation and dropped to her knees at the edge to look over. Mira and Elfman followed her. Mira shrieked and pointed down. "Look!"

Erza looked. Immediately below them, she saw the corner of a building with a red roof and a golden dome, but only for a moment before the walking castle moved over it.

"_That's our guild hall_!" Mira wailed.

The walking castle settled down on top of their guild hall. The three of them felt the jarring through the bedrock, resistance catching and giving way as the roof caved in and the structural beams bent. Mira covered her ears against the noise of twisting metal and collapsing wreckage.

A memory rose up suddenly in Erza's mind – the first time she ever saw the guild hall, the place that became her anchor in a lonely and unfamiliar world, and Master Makarov - "Rob sent you here? I suppose this is where you're meant to be, then." She shut her eyes, crushed her horror and put on a cool mask. Mira had pressed her hands to her mouth. Her eyes were huge and glistening with tears. Erza's Stealth Armour dissolved, replaced by the Black Wing Armour. She reached out to Mira. "Come on." Her mouth set into a hard line. "We're going to find the rest of our guild."

* * *

The train crept into Magnolia station slowly and silently, as if it was trying not to be noticed. Lucy hopped out and yelled "Thank you!" to the driver. At the last station, Onibas, they'd already had word over the radio that Magnolia was under attack by a giant robot, and Lucy had had to ask really nicely with one hand on her whip before they had agreed to take her all the way.

The station was under guard by Phantom mages. Every way out was sealed with a gleaming magical barrier. A metal automaton hawk perched on one of the ceiling beams, scanning the platforms with a slow regular rotation of its head. There were two Phantom mages loitering in the nearest exit.

"Hi, Reilly, hey, Zel. How's the family?" Lucy asked, as she walked past them.

"The kids? They were alive the last time I saw them, I figure that's good enough," Zel said.

"Mother of the year, right there," Reilly drawled. "I thought I heard you got kidnapped?"

"No, Lucy _Heartfilia_ got kidnapped. I'm Lucy Ashley," Lucy explained, putting on an air of confidence. "I can see why you would get us mixed up, though. See you later!" She waved and set off down the street. The headquarters loomed over the town. Lucy headed straight towards it, sliding her fingers through her ice knuckleduster as she did. She passed through empty streets and over a bridge across a still canal. All the shops and houses were locked up, all the curtains drawn. It was like a ghost town. One cafe had its doors locked, lights off and blinds down, but there were still meals set out at the tables on the street. One was a big pepperoni pizza.

Nobody was around, right? Lucy grabbed a slice and took a bite. Above, a window slammed open.

"Hey! That's my pizza!"

Lucy craned her head back. A red-faced man was hanging out of the window.

"You can't chase us away from our table and then steal our food! I paid for that!" He shook his fist at her.

Lucy considered that, and then took another bite of the pizza.

"This is destruction of civilian property! I'll make a formal complaint to the Council about you!" Someone else inside was trying to drag him away from the window.

"It's just a pizza!" Lucy said. "It was getting cold anyway!"

"There's a Phantom mage here!" the red-faced man yelled. "Oi! Someone come deal with her!"

"Hey! What's with your survival instincts?" Lucy demanded. "What kind of idiot-"

"Don't yell at our civilians!" someone hollered at her. "Yell at your own civilians!"

Lucy whipped around. Two people were marching towards her down the street. Or, more accurately, one was marching and one was sauntering after her with his hands in his pockets. The first was a girl wearing a long tiger-striped dress cut up to one hip plus demon horns, boxing gloves and a live blue bird perched on the top of her head. The other was a guy with a rueful grin, half-closed eyes and a dark ponytail that looked like the top of a pineapple.

"...is that how it works?" Pineapple Head asked Tiger Stripes.

"Yes, that's exactly how it works," Tiger Stripes said. "We're mages of Fairy Tail! You'd better be ready to fight!" She pointed at Lucy, as if there was someone else around she might be challenging.

Pineapple Head took a few hasty steps backwards and wished Tiger Stripes good luck.

"What? Aren't you fighting?" she said.

Pineapple Head rubbed the back of his neck. "For some reason, my parole agreement is really specific about not attacking members of other legal guilds."

"I'm not going to tell anyone," Tiger Stripes said.

"I think someone would notice that my arm'd been blown off."

"Oh man they really would, there'd be blood and Kage bits everywhere," Tiger Stripes said. "That'd be nasty. Eurk." She pulled a face. "We're at war, though! See if there's an exception."

Parole? "Are you that Eisenwalder Makarov adopted like he was a stray puppy?" Lucy asked Pineapple Head. "Are you guys really that hard up for recruits?" She took a careful step back.

Pineapple Head dropped his gaze. Tiger Stripes' voice went flat. "Kage's a Fairy Tail mage."

Was that a sore spot? Angry enemies were easier to trick. Lucy touched her fingers to her lower lip, as if she were thinking. "Maybe Eisenwald trash is a step _up_, for-"

"_What did you call him_?!"

Lucy screamed and dived out of the way. Crap, she was fast! Lucy scrambled back to her feet and lashed out with her whip. The blue bird darted in front of Tiger Stripes and transformed into a hovering feathery shield. The whip cracked against the shield but didn't damage it. Tiger Stripes rolled under the bird shield, bounced back to her feet and charged.

Lucy ducked under her punch and hit her in the mouth. The ice knuckleduster worked well as a regular knuckleduster, too. Tiger Stripes staggered back. The bird swooped in from Lucy's other side and burst into flame. Lucy leapt back, and back again as Tiger Stripes swung at her.

"Are you even a mage?" Lucy demanded. "Do you just punch things with a bird? Is that it?"

"Of course I'm a mage!" Tiger Stripes yelled. "I'm in a mage guild and everything! I couldn't be magier!"

"Do some magic, then!" Lucy snatched up a jug of water from the cafe table and as the bird swooped at her head again, trailing sparks, she swung it at him. The neck went smoothly over the bird. The fire was extinguished with a hiss. Lucy flung the jug against the wall. It shattered. A shower of glass shards, water and a soggy bundle of feathers hit the pavement.

"Pii!" Tiger Stripes shouted.

Lucy took advantage of her distraction and ran away, back down the street towards the bridge. Tiger Stripes chased after her, and the red-faced man in the window cheered, but Lucy had a plan. At the edge of the canal, she spun and dropped to one knee as Tiger Stripes swung at her. Tiger Stripes stumbled. Lucy grabbed her around the waist and whirled her around into the canal. Tiger Stripes hit the water with a splash and a shriek. Lucy dropped down to ice the canal with her knuckleduster, but before she could Tiger Stripes burst back out of the water flailing. Lucy scrambled back.

"Mickey?" Pineapple Head called. He was standing well behind them, leafing through a little book. "Are you a guild member in good standing?"

"Yeah! I'm great at standing!" Tiger Stripes called back. "I can stand all day!"

"...uh-_huh_." Pineapple Head flicked through the pages. "Do I have your permission to, uh, 'engage in martial action against whatsoever enemies of'-" He looked up at Tiger Stripes' blank face. "- fight some people?"

"Sure!" She threw her hands out wide, scattering drops of water. "Knock yourself out!"

Crap. Lucy swung her whip back again, ready to lash out or block a spell, but when the attack came it was from the ground under her feet.

"Shadow Knuckle!" Lucy didn't even see it, but the blow sent her skidding across the paving stones. Her whip flew out of her hand. "Shadow Orochi Bind!" Pineapple Head lifted both hands, and snakes that seemed to be made entirely of darkness burst out of Lucy's own shadow and wound around her. She was pinned flat to the ground.

Tiger Stripes had hauled herself out of the canal by now. She squelched across to them. "Good job, Kage!" She dropped to her knees next to Lucy and raised both hands, fists together, to bludgeon her unconscious.

Lucy surrendered in a hurry.

There was a moment of silence. Tiger Stripes looked at Pineapple Head, baffled. "What does she mean, she surrenders?"

"It means the cessation of hostile activity in exchange for being captured rather than killed outright. Usually it's not a good idea... Uh, does the guild have a policy on prisoners of war?"

"I don't know! I never had anyone surrender before," Tiger Stripes said.

Oh, _no_. Lucy had surrendered to complete idiots.

Not that she was _genuinely_ surrendering, of course. It was just the simplest way not to have her head knocked in at that exact moment. As soon as she got a chance, she was going to be out of there.

"Well," Pineapple Head said doubtfully, "we could take her to Cana."

* * *

In the control room at the Phantom Lord headquarters, the radio hissed and buzzed. Snatches of irritable debate escaped between the static, until finally the signal cleared.

"-you that would do it," someone said smugly. "Okay! Three-thirty p.m., Magnolia station reporting in! You ready?"

The control squad mage who'd drawn the short straw of minding the radio bounced his pen absently off his clipboard and tipped his chair a little further back. "Shoot."

"No Fairies, no trouble."

"Great. Ta. Appreciated."

"There was one train came in about quarter-past," someone else added. "But nobody got off it except Lucy Ashley, and they cleared out pretty-"

"What?" Master Jose hissed, looming over the radio. The control squad mage squawked and fell backwards off his chair. The sounds of a minor scuffle came over the radio as everyone at the station suddenly fought to be further away from it.

"Erm," the loser said. "A train came in about a quarter of an hour ago down the line from Onibus. Lucy Ashley – she's Gajeel's girlfriend, right? - got off and headed into the town, and the train went on to Hargeon. We haven't seen any Fairies, or a speck of Lucy Heartfilia-" The radio exploded. The control squad mage was still on the floor. Everyone else ducked the flying bakelite shrapnel. Master Jose stalked out of the room, tombstone teeth bared.

"What was that about?" one mage asked, and was met with a resounding shrug. The control mage poked his head up over the table.

"Crap. I think that was the only radio," he said.

* * *

A floor below, Juvia was standing in front of the communications lacrima in the headquarters' main audience chamber. Sue stuck her head around the door. "Juvia? Sorry to interrupt. Have you seen a green-haired guy with headphones wandering around? Lee Annur's lost him."

"No," Juvia said. "But I am very sorry that Miss Annur has lost her friend."

"Yeah, he isn't around to keep an eye on her," Sue said. "And she's not around to keep an eye on her, which might be worse. That'll be trouble. For someone who isn't me." She hesitated for a moment, and said "Uh. Could you tell Master Jose something?"

Juvia glanced up. "What is it?"

"You know we put Mirajane, Elfman and the Titania in the cells? They're... not so much there any more."

Juvia whipped around. "You allowed them to _escape_?"

"Not me! I wasn't anywhere near it, I wasn't responsible for that!" Sue protested. "It was the trash we set guarding them!"

Juvia seethed. "I will tell the master," she said shortly. "You will leave."

"Got it," Sue said, and fled.

Inwardly, Juvia stamped and snarled and gnashed her teeth. Erza Scarlet had been allowed to escape? Juvia had been ordered to remain in the headquarters and dispatch intruders while one of Fairy Tail's strongest mages had been allowed to escape and form another obstacle between Juvia and Lucy? She wanted to go and look for Lucy! Why would the master not allow her to look for Lucy? Juvia turned back to the lacrima crystal."Headquarters Mark Two to Blackthorn Town, Subdivision Five! What's taking you so long?"

"We're coming as fast as we can!" the man on the other end snapped. "Bloody subdivision trash can't tie their own shoelaces, let alone-" On his end of the connection there was a sudden outbreak of shrieks and a loud explosion. "Bloody hell! See what I have to deal with here?" he said. "They're all complete-"

There was another shout. "_Matenrou_!"

"Oh, shi-!" the man said, and the connection cut out. Juvia banged her fists on the lacrima.

"Headquarters Mark Two to Blackthorn Town, Subdivision Five! Answer me!" There was no reply. Subdivision Five's lacrima had been destroyed.

Juvia wailed and stamped her feet. This was intolerable! How could she be expected to stay quietly in the headquarters? It was impossible! It was unforgivable to have tolerated it this long! She was going to go and find Lucy, and if Erza Scarlet tried to stop her then Juvia would slice her head from her shoulders! She spun and stormed towards the door. It slammed open. Master Jose stalked in. Juvia stopped. "Master?" He didn't answer. He just indicated for her to step aside. Juvia obeyed. "Master, I want to-"

Master Jose rapped the surface of the lacrima and activated loudspeaker mode. "Good afternoon, Fairy trash. We know that Lucy Heartfilia is with you. If you do not give her up, we will turn the Jupiter Cannon on your pathetic excuse for a city. You have four minutes."

"...Fire Jupiter?" Juvia repeated blankly. "Where?"

Master Jose rapped the lacrima again. "Audience Chamber to Munitions. Prepare to fire Jupiter. Select target at random."

"Master!" Juvia clutched at her hair. "That would hit civilians! It might hit_ Lucy_! What are you doing?"

"Are you questioning my orders, Juvia?"

"Juvia is not-" Juvia started reflexively, and hesitated. "Yes, Juvia is questioning your orders! This is far too reckless! It could hit Lucy, and the Magic Council will not overlook firing a cannon at civilians!"

Master Jose extended one arm out to his side. The shadows deepened in the corners of the room. The temperature dropped. Fear and nausea twisted in the pit of Juvia's stomach. She took a step back. "Master, Juvia does not think this is wise!"

"_Juvia_ this, _Juvia_ that," Master Jose said. "Really, Juvia, that's a very childish habit."

Juvia stumbled. "That- Ju- I-" She clenched her fists. "Master cannot fire the cannon!"

"I cannot?" Master Jose repeated. "How dare you tell me what I may and may not do? Have you forgotten that I am your guild master? Have you turned traitor as well?" Dim shapes began to emerge from the darkness.

"Juvia has done no such thing!" Juvia protested. "Juvia is a loyal mage of Phantom Lord, and so is _Lucy_!"

Master Jose paused for a moment. The shadows stilled. Master Jose's voice went sickly sweet and oily. "I do hate to have to tell you this, my dear, but Lucy Heartfilia is a spy. She has been working for Fairy Tail the whole time."

"...What," said Juvia.

"Lucy Heartfilia has been pretending to be a loyal Phantom mage," Jose spelt out, "while secretly reporting on our activities to Makarov."

"Juvia is aware of what a spy is," Juvia said. "Lucy cannot be a spy. If Lucy were a spy for Fairy Tail, why would they have tried to capture her?"

"Obviously it was a planned withdrawal," Master Jose said. "Saying that her father wants her to return home? What an obvious code."

"Why would they have staged an attack on Lucy rather than having her simply leave?"

"So that they could provoke us into attacking them, clearly," Master Jose said, and raised his hands as if he couldn't see how this could be any more obvious.

"If they had planned to lure us into attacking them, why were we able to take them and their master by surprise at their guild hall?"

"It was some diabolical scheme, I'm sure!" Juvia opened her mouth to object, because while Lucy could devise very good schemes – well, that was the point, Lucy could devise _very good_ schemes.

"Really, Juvia!" Master Jose cut her off. "I'm offended that you don't believe me. Am I not your guild master?"

"Juvia does not want to be disloyal! But Lucy cannot be a spy. She-" Juvia stopped, and then finally said "Lucy is Juvia's friend."

"Yee-ees," Master Jose said. "Really, it's quite _suspicious_ that she was so keen to befriend _you_, wasn't it?"

"But-" Juvia started, and stopped. Master Jose raised a hand. One of his rings glittered strangely. Juvia found her gaze fixed on it.

"If you think about it, you will find it makes perfect sense."

"Yes. It makes sense," Juvia echoed blankly. Master Jose smirked. She took a step back. "Please excuse me."

Master Jose dismissed her with a wave of his hand. Juvia left the room, walked quietly down the hallway out of earshot and screamed. She wailed hysterically and tore at her hair. Her hat tumbled to the floor. The foundations of the earth crumbled, a vast emptiness of space opened up around her, she imagined Lucy eating cake with other people and outside the rain began to boil. It felt like her heart was being torn in two! "I can't, I can't stand it!" she gasped, whipping her head around in agony. How could she have been such a fool?

LUCY COULD NOT BE FORGIVEN. JUVIA WOULD NOT FORGIVE.

Juvia clutched at her head and gasped for breath. The floor shook under her. It took a moment for Juvia to realise that this was the interior of the headquarters shifting around her as the Jupiter cannon moved into firing position. There would be only four minutes between the order and the blast. Two had already gone.

She broke into a run. The cannon could not be allowed to fire. Juvia did not want civilians to be harmed, and she would not allow Lucy to be destroyed by Jupiter. Juvia wanted to do that herself.

* * *

"Good afternoon, Fairy trash."

Lucy's head snapped up. Her breath choked in her throat. That was Jose's voice! She looked around frantically. Where was he?

"We know that Lucy Heartfilia is with you."

How did he know that? Was he watching her? Lucy spun around. The streets were empty.

"Who?" Mickey said.

"No idea," said Kage.

"If you do not give her up, we will turn the Jupiter Cannon on your pathetic excuse for a city. You have four minutes."

Kageyama and Mickey looked at each other, and then at Lucy's white face. "...so that's bad?" Mickey guessed. "What's the Jupiter Cannon?"

"It's a giant magical cannon," Lucy said.

"I think we'd worked that out," Kage said.

"It's a giant magical cannon! Doesn't that cover it?" Lucy snapped. What was she supposed to do? If she told them who she was, they would hand her straight back to Jose with a bow on. If she didn't, he was going to blow up a whole chunk of Magnolia!

In the distance, the Phantom headquarters began to rise up on its skinny legs and turn.

"They're bluffing, right?" Mickey said.

"Jose doesn't bluff," Lucy said.

Mickey and Kageyama looked at each other. "What do we do?" Mickey asked.

"We find cover," Kageyama said. "Right now."

"Okay. Let's go," Mickey said, and grabbed Lucy's wrist. Lucy hit her in the mouth and ran. Mickey staggered backwards. Lucy didn't get more than a few steps before her own shadow twisted, burst out of the ground and wrapped around her. She fell forwards. "Ow! Let me go!"

Mickey dragged her back to her feet. Lucy twisted and tried to kick out. Her shadow held her tight. Mickey tossed Lucy over her shoulder and broke into a run. Lucy was bounced up and down as Mickey and Kageyama tore through the streets, until they burst into a warehouse and Mickey dropped Lucy unceremoniously on the floor. "Cana! What do we do?"

"I don't-" The woman who was presumably Cana raked her hands through her long dark hair and stared at the headquarters with the blank, horrified eyes of someone realising there was nothing she could do. "Who's that?"

"Phantom girl," Mickey said. "She surrendered. She's pretty bad at surrendering though, don't get in punching range."

"One minute, thirty seconds." That came from a boy inexplicably wearing only his boxers. Lucy climbed to her feet. Her mouth opened. She didn't say anything. More Fairies were flooding into the warehouse. That wasn't a clever tactic – if they were lucky they wouldn't lose anyone, but if they were unlucky then all of them would be taken out with one hit. She was totally surrounded.

Cana grabbed Lucy by the front of her shirt. "Why did you attack us?"

"What?" Lucy said. "You attacked m- us!"

"Cana, don't let her punch you!" Mickey said. "She's really punchy!" Like that was an option when she was surrounded by Fairies?

"We didn't do anything to you!" Cana shouted at her.

"You did! Your Dra-"

"Where's Lucy?" Cana said. "That was what that water mage was yelling. That's what this is about!" Juvia! Juvia was looking for Lucy? What had Jose told her? That the Fairies had managed to kidnap her out of his office? Jose knew that wasn't true, though, so why was he looking for her with them? Was he just putting it on? Did he think she had defected to the Fairy trash after she escaped from him? Ugh! Juvia must be so worried about her, Lucy couldn't stand it!

"One minute," said the guy in his boxers.

Lucy swallowed. Juvia would help her, right? Except Juvia was so loyal to Phantom Lord, and Lucy had sort of knocked Master Jose out of a window and kicked him in the crotch...

"Fifty-five seconds," said the guy in his boxers. "Fifty. Forty-five."

Cana shook Lucy until her eyes rattled in her skull. "Who the hell is Lucy?"

Jose could blow up half of the city. She didn't have a choice! "I'm Lucy!" she said. "I'm Lucy Heartfilia. He's looking for me."

"You?" Cana looked Lucy up and down. "Be serious! Why?"

"I threw him out of a window," Lucy said. "I think he's mad about it."

Cana scrunched her face up. "What?"

"Twenty seconds!" The guy in his boxers hurried to the door. Cana turned away from Lucy and went after him. Lucy followed them, stumbling. The barrel of the cannon was fixed on Magnolia's cathedral, and a vast cloud of dark energy swirled around the end of it. Cana covered her mouth with her hands.

"Ten seconds," said the boy in his underwear. Lucy counted down in her head. Nine, eight, seven-

Revealing herself had been completely pointless. It was too late to do anything, even if there had been anything they could do.

- six, five, four -

Lucy turned away and covered her face with her hands.

- three, two, one.

Nothing happened. The cannon didn't fire. Lucy turned back and peeked between her fingers. Long seconds ticked away.

* * *

In Jupiter's Control Room, Juvia went to the control panel, stepping over the unconscious bodies of the cannon squad as she did. She hauled down on a lever. The collected magical power was released in a burst that shook the headquarters like an earthquake. Juvia turned and braced herself against the control panel as the room shook. She swiped one hand through the air. "Water Slicer!" Three arcs of razor-sharp high-pressure water cut the charging lacrima in to a dozen pieces that crashed to the floor.

That would suffice, Juvia decided. Now she would find Lucy.

* * *

The dark magic gathered around the end of the cannon's barrel shattered apart so violently it threw the headquarters back. Its spiderlegs scrabbled to keep it upright.

"They were bluffing?" Cana said.

Lucy stared. Something must have... Jose wasn't the sort to bluff, was he?

"He must have been," said the guy still wearing only his underwear.

Why dissipate the gathered magic so quickly and so forcefully? Didn't that just show everyone that he wasn't going to follow through on a threat? You couldn't expect to be respected if you did that! Lucy struggled to figure that out, and she almost thought the pieces were falling into place when she was distracted by an angry voice.

"Why isn't this door closed? This is supposed to be a safehouse, not a bar!"

Lucy turned around just as Erza Scarlet marched into the warehouse, with a massive and insanely muscular guy and a beautiful white-haired woman just behind her. Mirajane! Oh, wow, she was even prettier in real life! Then Erza glared at everyone and Lucy remembered that she was in big trouble.

"Erza!" said the boy in his underwear. "You're all right!"

"Of course I am," Erza said shortly. "Where's Natsu?"

The boy in his underwear pulled a face. "What do you want that idiot for?"

"So that he can be punished!" Erza swept her gaze across the room. "He's endangered our-" Her stare stopped on Lucy. Lucy quailed. "Why do we have Lucy Heartfilia?"

"...so she_ is_ the Lucy everyone's after?" Cana said. "How do you know?"

"She looks just like she did on the poster!" Mirajane said. "Except not as well-dressed."

"What?" Lucy said, then looked down at her baggy pants and the shirt that bared her midriff and had to concede that point.

"What poster?" said Cana and the guy in his underwear, simultaneously.

Erza explained, briefly. The job request, how they'd been sent to Oak Town to warn Jose, discovering that Natsu had already tried to kidnap Lucy, escaping the headquarters, the horrific things she was going to do to Natsu as soon as she found him. The boy in his underwear turned green.

"_What_?" Lucy said. "Do you seriously expect me to buy that one of your mages just independently decided to go kidnap a mage from another guild?" She made an exasperated gesture. "Without being ordered to? He just decided to _waltz_ on over to Oak Town and declare war on Phantom Lord _of his own accord_? Without your master's permission? Without anyone knowing about it?" Obviously they'd just thought their Dragon Slayer would be able to grab her without anyone noticing, which was beyond stupid because he'd attacked her in the middle of a public street, and... the Fairies were all staring at her blankly.

"That's Natsu for you," Mirajane said.

"Oh my God," said Lucy. They were all complete idiots.

"Enough," Erza said. "Where's Master?"

"He's been captured," Cana said.

Erza's eyes went wide. "What?"

"When they attacked the guild hall, the old man stayed back to give us time to retreat," said the guy in his underwear. "He didn't come after us. Loke was injured and we left him behind by mistake. We figure they've both been taken."

Erza raised her fists as if she was going to hit herself in the head. "I never imagined that could happen! I didn't look! Please, would you hit me?"

"Hey- hey, that's not-" said the guy in his underwear.

"Erza, calm down!" Mirajane said. "It's not your fault!" She turned to Lucy. "Please, would you tell us what your master's doing?" Mirajane was clearly terrible at interrogation.

"I don't know!" Lucy said. "He's not even my master any more! I don't-" She stopped dead. Her eyes crossed as she focused on the swordblade pressed to her throat.

"Then tell us everything you _do _know," Erza ordered.

Lucy obeyed. How she'd run away from home, joining Phantom Lord, how she and Juvia had been attacked, sending their Dragon Slayer away with Auriga – the guy in his underwear rolled his eyes – going back to Jose, being locked up, escaping - "Go over that part again, that was cool," said Mickey. - getting to Magnolia and finally being jumped by Mickey and Kageyama. When she finished there was a long moment of silence. The sword against her throat didn't move. Then-

"Oh, _no_!" Mirajane said. "How could he do such a horrible thing to one of his own mages? What an awful man!" There were tears glittering in her eyes. Erza sheathed her sword.

"Do you think he will actually fire the Jupiter Cannon?"

"Erza tried to fly up into the barrel before and block it with the Adamantine Armour, but the magic gathering around it was too much," Mirajane told everyone.

Lucy goggled. "That's insane!" Erza reached for her sword. "Um. I mean. I'd have thought so."

"We cannot allow that, and we need to rescue our master and Loke," Erza said flatly. "Gray, I'm going back to the headquarters to look for them. You're coming with me. Dress yourself first." She produced a bundle from her requip armoury and held it out to the guy in his underpants. He had been nodding grimly, but now he gaped at her.

"Why do you have some of my clothes?"

"Why would I not carry some of your clothes? You routinely expose yourself in public," Erza said. "Phantom is likely to search the city for us, correct?" She looked at Lucy, who nodded. She was a little puzzled, and suspicious, that they were acting as if they just _assumed_ she was trustworthy. "They have the advantage in quantity at the moment, but we have the advantage in quality. If we couldn't best them when they attacked us en masse and by surprise, once they're split up and in our home territory, they don't stand a chance." What? Phantom Lord was the strongest guild in Fiore! Why was Erza Scarlet acting as if they didn't stand a chance? Well, if she wanted to charge in blindly convinced that Fairy Tail was the best, then Lucy was going to let her. She folded her arms tightly across her chest and fumed silently.

"We are going to retrieve our master, our comrade, our town and our pride," Erza said brusquely. "Starting now. Let's go!"

"Oh! I can help, too!" Mira said.

"Elfman, stay with Mira. Don't let her get into trouble," Erza ordered.

"Oh," Mira said. The rest of Fairy Tail moved out. Lucy stood in the middle, watching her captors just... sort of... forget she was there. They weren't going to drag her off and hand her over to Jose? Seriously?

What was _wrong_ with them?

"Hey, Heartfilia! What are you going to do?" Lucy turned around. Mickey was right behind her. "I guess you could go and do all Phantom stuff now, but I wouldn't if I was you."

"Do you think pushing your guild master out of a window counts as a resignation?" Lucy said. She looked down at her guild mark. She wasn't really a Phantom mage any more. She was a mage with no guild. Wandering. Unaffiliated. What was she supposed to do? "I-" She hesitated. "I need to find Juvia. If I can tell her what's really happened – I'm sure she'll listen to me, but-"

"Oh, right!" Mickey said, and twisted around. "Kage! Hey, Kageyama!" He sauntered over. "You've got Lucy's whip and thing, right? She needs them back, she's gonna go find that friend of hers."

"What," said Kageyama.

Mickey repeated herself, but more loudly.

"I heard you the first time, I just," Kageyama said. "Okay. Fine. Rearming captured enemy, right now." He offered Lucy back her whip and knuckleduster. She reached out uncertainly and then snatched them from him.

"Great! Come on then!" Mickey said, and headed for the door. Behind her, Lucy and Kageyama looked at each other.

"Are they crazy?" Lucy said. "They are all crazy, right? It's not me?"

"They're all completely mad," Kageyama agreed. "I like it. Mickey, wait!" He followed after her. That left Lucy alone in the warehouse. She clasped her whip and knuckleduster to her belt, drew in a deep breath, and went to find Juvia.

* * *

A/N: With fervent apologies to **Frozen Silver Moonlight**. Seriously, fervent. I think she may have misunderstood when I told her Juvia wouldn't be worried for long.

If it is any consolation, I don't think Jose's going to get any douchier. We have hit peak douche. I don't even know how he could be douchier at this point.

Suggestions are welcome, though.


	13. Fight Scenes, Yelling

It was raining, a dull grey drizzle that seemed to have come out of nowhere, and Alzack and Bisca were hurrying through Magnolia together looking for enemies to fight. Together. It was almost like a date. Both of them realised this simultaneously.

Bisca went pink. Alzack ducked his head.

"Uh... that's a new gun, isn't it?"

Bisca looked down at her new pump-action shotgun. He'd noticed! "Ketterlock Model Seven. Twelve gauge, eight-point-five inch barrel, one-point-five inch lacrima, rust-resistant coating and Pretty in Pink finish. Plus it's a lot easier to field strip than the Model Six."

"It looks good on you," Alzack said. There was a moment of silence as they both tried to figure out what that meant.

"Um, thank you," said Bisca.

"Hullo!" someone called. They both looked ahead. A boy with a round face and tousled green hair was standing in the middle of the street. "Have you seen a goth girl with a staff anywhere around here?"

Was he a Phantom mage? They couldn't see a guild mark on him.

"No," Alzack said.

"Sorry," said Bisca.

"You're useless, then," the boy said, and sighed. He raised both hands, palms down, and two magical circles blossomed into a pair of bone golems. One looked like a Vulcan skeleton, and the other seemed human except for the bone spurs on its arms and the digitigrade feet.

Bisca lifted her shotgun to her shoulder and flicked off the safety catch. "Wide Shot!" The Phantom mage hopped out of the way. The lead shot rattled through the skeletons without damaging them. Bisca switched to her sniper rifle in a blur of green light. "Homing Shot!" It failed. The bone golems didn't have any life signs for the auto-aim to lock on to. Where had the Phantom mage gone? The humanoid skeleton charged her, covering the distance between them with long flying strides. The metallic claws screwed into the ends of its fingers gleamed.

"Bisca! Get down!"

Bisca threw herself flat on her back. The claws scythed over the top of her head. Alzack fired. "Tornado Shot!" The bullets spiralled around each other and spun into a whirlwind that swept the two bone golems off their feet. Bisca watched them tumble over and over down the street.

"Good job, Alzack!"

Behind her, Alzack made a strangled sound. Bisca turned. Behind him was the Phantom mage, one hand pressed against Alzack's back. Bisca raised her rifle. "Alzack, move!" He didn't.

"I use skeleton magic," the Phantom mage said cheerily. "Guess what this guy has?" Alzack was frozen – mouth open, feet apart, arms half-raised. His revolvers were still in his hands. His eyes were fixed on Bisca. She drew in a deep breath.

"Drop the gun, or I break his arm," the Phantom mage said. Bisca flicked the safety catch on and carefully set the rifle down on the ground. He hadn't realised she was an exquip user, then, but she still couldn't fire from here without hitting-

There was a crack. Alzack cried out. His left forearm twisted at the wrong angle.

"Alzack!"

"Oops," said the Phantom mage. "Oh well. He's got two."

Alzack was white and gasping, but his other arm lifted up until his revolver was levelled at Bisca.

"What do you think?" the Phantom mage asked Alzack, and released whatever grip he had on Alzack's jaw. "Shoot her, or not shoot her?"

"Bisca, run!" Alzack rasped. She had an easy way out; there was an alley between her and the bone golems and she could easily race down it before they reached her, get to a safe distance, take the Phantom mage out with her sniper rifle. But that would mean leaving Alzack.

"I'll take that as a shoot," the Phantom mage said. Alzack's finger tightened on the trigger. Bisca screamed and flung herself at them. Alzack's gun went off.

The bullet whipped past Bisca's ear and exploded into high-pressurised mud. The Phantom mage swore. Bisca threw herself flat and skidded on the wet pavement, right between their legs. The Phantom mage recoiled away from Alzack. Bisca requipped her pump-action shotgun, cycled a round and fired upwards.

The Phantom mage was blasted off his feet, and the bone golems collapsed with a clatter as their master hit the ground, rolled and lay still. Alzack fell backwards. Bisca flung her shotgun back into her requip armoury and caught him. Alzack made a hurt, breathless noise and twisted his neck to look up at her.

"Are you all right?" Bisca said.

"Why did you do that?" Alzack croaked.

"I like you," Bisca said.

"But that was insane!"

"I _really_ like you!" Bisca said. Besides, they'd done madder things. Being unstoppably deranged was Fairy Tail's primary tactic in every situation. Why was he making a fuss about it now?She drew a pair of rifle-cleaning rods from her requip armoury and tugged her scarf from her neck. She could splint his arm with those. She just didn't want to hurt -

Alzack wasn't saying anything. Bisca mentally reviewed everything she'd just said.

Oh. Oops.

"Uh-" Quick! Say you misspoke! Say you only really like him in a platonic way! Explain that you don't actually want to marry him and have heavily-armed babies! Sadly, Bisca's entire face had stopped working, or doing anything at all except getting redder and redder.

"Um," Alzack said.

There was a moment of silence, interrupted by the Phantom mage groaning "Oh God, just shoot me now."

"Shut up," Bisca ordered. "You're a bad person. Bad people don't get favours." She turned back to Alzack. "Is... is that okay?"

"Um. Yeah," Alzack said. "That... is better than okay, actually. I could... live with that."

"That's interesting. Because it makes me want to die," said the Phantom mage.

"Shut up!" Bisca snapped at him. "Um.. so, what do we do now?"

Alzack only hesitated for a moment. "Do you want to... uh... see a movie or something?"

"Yeah," Bisca said, "but I meant right now."

"Oh." Alzack grimaced. "We'll find somewhere high up to shoot from."

"But your arm!" Bisca said.

"Oh, well," Alzack rasped. "I've got two."

* * *

Three Phantom Mages had been sent to guard each of the main roads that led out of Magnolia. The trio watching the western road stood on the roof of a bookshop, huddled together under an umbrella, and scanned the streets for fugitives. Civilians could be used as hostages, and no Fairy could be permitted to escape Master Jose's justice; their job was to prevent anyone from getting away, Fairy or not.

As a result of this, they weren't expecting to be attacked from outside the city.

"Fire Dragon's Roar!"

* * *

"There!" Devin yelled, and shattered the brick behind the Fairy girl's head with a volley of purple darts. She ducked and scampered away, holding her cat-eared hat on with one hand. The pale, insubstantial creatures perched on each shoulder bounced up and down with each step. They'd chased her through a dozen unfamiliar streets and still she'd managed to stay a step ahead with that same puzzled, half-asleep expression on her face. It made Calla want to slap her.

The Fairy girl darted down a side street, heading towards the lake shore, and ducked into a boathouse that looked like an old half-drowned stone barn. Calla and Devin raced around the corner just in time to see the door slam shut behind her.

A few seconds later Calla threw the door open and stalked in. Devin was close behind. Calla scanned the boathouse as Devin found the light switch and flicked it on.. Beyond the flat platform they stood on, steps led down to a walkway with water on either side. All kinds of boats – motor boats, SE-plug boats, punts, rowboats – were locked to their mooring posts on either side. At the far end of the boathouse were two sets of double doors, locked and bolted. Juvia Lockser's interminable rain pattered on the roof.

"Dead end. She's lurking in here somewhere," Calla said. She glanced quickly over her shoulder, and up to the rafters.

"I hate when the bitches hide," Devin grumbled.

Calla drew a sheet of paper from her sleeve and headed down the steps with a bored "Yeah, yeah... if you're going to shoot anything in here, do try to make sure it isn't me."

"Are you ever going to let that go?" he growled.

"When we get kicked back up to First, maybe," Calla retorted. Her fingers flickered, the paper twisted in her hands, and within a few moments a little origami crow perched on her fingertip. She pointed at a motorboat with a little cabin just big enough for an annoying Fairy to squeeze herself into. "Kamikaze Crow!" The impact shattered the hull just below the lake surface. Water gushed in. The boat listed to one side. Calla waited a moment to see if a panicked fairy scrambled out of the cabin, and the lights went out.

"Devin!"

He hit the light switch again, and cursed. "Nah – certain it's the electrics, not magic, but it's gone. Piece of crap."

Calla yanked a handful of origami stars from her pocket and flung them up. "Paper Lanterns!" The stars hung in the air, casting a sickly yellow glow over the rows of boats. Calla glanced back over her shoulder. She couldn't shake the feeling that someone was just behind her, watching her, a slow prickle down her spine.

Invisibility magic? She spun and brought up a hand, unfurling a handful of paper sheets that spun themselves into tight balls. "Paper Bullets!" The projectiles shot the length of the walkway and cratered the platform Devin was standing on.

"Oi! What was that for?"

"Checking," Calla said. The only way anyone could have dodged that would have been to jump into the water. She turned away and headed back down the walkway. A sailboat with its sails bundled loosely in the bottom of the boat, a dinghy with a cover, a pink- and orange-striped canoe Calla thought was just ugly; she holed the lot of them and moved on and, slowly, steadily, she reached the far end of the walkway.

Calla stopped with one hand on the wall. She looked back over her shoulder. Devin was a dark still figure leaning against the railing. Where had she missed? Where was – she looked down.

A faint grey light filtered through the dark water. There was a massive gap between the bottom of the locked doors and the bottom of the pool.

Calla swore and spun around. "Devin! She's snuck out into the lake!" Devin wasn't on the platform any more. "Devin? Hey!" Devin wasn't anywhere.

Calla tore back towards the platform. The walkway stretched out impossibly far before her. The darkness at the edges of the boathouse rippled like she was seeing it through a heat haze, but her breath came out as smoke. The air thickened as if she was running through deep water. Her hair drifted around her. Her breath came out in wisps of cloud. "Devin," she rasped. What the hell kind of magic was this?!

"I don't think he can hear you." Calla turned around. The Fairy mage was sitting on the edge of the walkway, eyes closed, boots peeled off, dangling her bare feet in the black water. She twiddled a strand of hair around her fingers. "Sorry."

"Where's Devin? Where did you come from?" Calla demanded. "What the hell is this?"

The Fairy mage opened her big dazed eyes and blinked at Calla. "One of my friends lives here," she said.

In the dim light of the paper stars, another shadow materialised beside Calla's. Something was standing behind her.

"Maybe _lives_ isn't the right word," Chico said.

* * *

Team Shadow Gear were heading towards the Phantom headquarters when the earth ruptured under them. Levy and Droy went sprawling on the street. Only Jet managed to stay standing, so when a Phantom mage burst out of the ground it was Jet he wound himself around. He beamed up at Jet, head upside-down, twiddling his moustache. "_Salut_!" Jet yelled in shock and disgust.

"Jet!" Levy shouted, and a solid-script 'jet' of water smashed into both of them. The Phantom mage bent like a spring, rebounded and disappeared back under the ground. Jet staggered dizzily backwards. "Where did he go?" Levy gasped.

"Levy! Behind you!" Droy shouted. Levy turned.

"_Bonjour, bonjour – _bonjour_, ma belle mademoiselle_!" The Phantom mage bowed almost double at the waist. He had green hair that stuck straight up, a monocle and, apparently, no bones. "I am Sol. You may call me Monsieur Sol." He swung his body back and forth like a pendulum and peered at them through his monocle.

"What a weirdo," Droy said.

"Don't let your guard down!" Levy warned them. "He's one of Phantom's Element – _Jet_!"

"Falcon Heavenward!" Jet launched himself at Sol, twisting in midair to hit the Element Four mage with a powerful kick.

"How rude!" Sol exclaimed, and vanished under ground before Jet could reach him. Jet crashed to the ground. His hat fell off. Sol popped up again, a little way away, and inquired sardonically, "Whom do I have the honour of addressing?" He tipped himself horizontal and twisted his monocle in his eye socket. "My monocle tells me information pertaining to all the significant mages of Fairy Tail, but you –_ hélas_ – of you three I know nothing."

"We're Team Shadow Gear!" Levy said, astonished.

"_L'Engrenage Ombragé_?" Sol twiddled his monocle faster. "_Non, non, non_. My monocle has heard nothing of you."

"We've been in Fairy Tail for years!" Levy said.

"We've won the twenty-four-hour endurance road race for the last five years in a row!" Jet snapped, retrieving his hat. "Well, I have, but they can share."

"We broke that curse on Iris Village that was turning everyone into fish!" Levy said.

"Hmmm?" Sol said, and twisted himself nearly upside down. "_Non_."

"Don't underestimate us, you bastard!" Droy yelled. "Knuckle Plant!" He flung a handful of seeds at Sol. Before they could take root, Sol swept both hands up like an overenthusiastic orchestra conductor.

"Roche Concerto!" The ground broke apart beneath their feet again. Massive chunks of rock were blasted into the air. Droy was flung away and rolled over and over on the cobbles. Jet whipped Levy off her feet and out of range.

Droy rolled over, snatching a bundle from one of the bandoliers across his chest. "We beat the lindwurm at Lierre Town!"

"Ah? Non!"

Droy flung the bundle at Sol. Seeds showered down around him. "Chain Plant!"

Vines burst up from the ground all around Sol. He threw up his hands in mock dismay - "_Oh lá lá_! _Non, non, non_!" - and then he vanished under the earth again. The vines fell limply to the ground. Droy scrambled to his feet. "Where's he-" Sol burst out of the ground under his feet and wound around him. "Augh!" Droy tried to pull Sol off, but he was locked tightly around his arm. The Phantom mage stretched but didn't loosen his grip. "Get off me, you creepy bastard!"

"It's terribly ambitious for three nobodies to pit themselves against one of Phantom Lord's Element Four,_ n'est-ce pas_?" Sol remarked, entirely ignoring Droy's efforts to dislodge him. "You should avoid attempting what you cannot achieve!"

"Do you want to see what we can achieve?" Jet shouted.

Levy jabbed both hands at Sol, first two fingers extended. "Bees!"

Droy and Sol both looked up in horror. The word in the air broke apart into a buzzing swarm. Sol untangled himself in a hurry, spun in the air and kicked Droy upside the head. Then, as the swarm descended, he dived back into the safety of the earth.

"Levy!" Droy wailed, scrambling away from the swarm.

"I'm not done!" Levy shouted. She cancelled the Bees spell and threw out both arms as wide as she could reach. "Permafrost!" The word appeared in front of her writ huge in ice-rimed earth and fell into the dirt exposed under the broken paving slabs. The groundwater froze solid.

There was a loud thud as the top of Sol's head collided with the layer of frozen soil.

"So clever, Levy!" Jet and Droy cheered, their eyes sparkling.

"Don't let your guard down! We haven't won yet!" Levy ordered.

"Right, Levy!" the two of them chorused, and watched her with big expectant eyes, waiting for her to come up with a plan.

Sol wasn't waiting. He bobbed back up beyond the boundaries of Levy's permafrost. "Platre Sonata!" The exposed earth and plaster from the walls of buildings swirled around and coalesced into a giant fist.

"Guard!" Levy threw her hands out and the word appeared in front of them in gleaming metallic letters. The fist smashed against the barrier. The barrier shattered, but so did the fist. Plaster dust rained down. Levy swiped a hand across her eyes and peered through the settling dust. Sol wasn't there.

"Look out!" Droy shouted, too late.

"Sable Dance!" A whirlwind of sand hit them from the other direction. Levy screwed her eyes shut and covered her head with her arms as the sand spun around her. There was a loud cracking noise underneath them as Sol began to demolish the permafrost. It wouldn't last much longer. Levy pressed both hands against her eyes and thought.

Sol had known exactly where to appear to wrap around Jet and Droy. How? By their feet on the ground?

"Droy!" Levy yelled, lifting her head, and pointed at one of the pubs along this street. "Jump!" Droy took a running jump at it and swung from the bar's hanging sign. "Droy!" she yelled again. He looked down, but she ignored it and swept her hands apart to produce a solid-script Droy; the name balanced atop a pair of legs in green checkered pants and with a hair-stem sprouting from the O. "Jet!" She reached out her arms to him. He snatched her off her feet and tore straight up the wall of a building.

Below, the permafrost broke. Sol exploded out of the ground and wound himself tight around the solid-script Droy. "You see how hopeless it was for you to – sacrebleu!"

Droy took one hand off the bar sign and flung a handful of seeds at Sol. "Chain Plant!" Sol couldn't disentangle himself in time. The vines locked around him and the decoy Droy both. At the very top of the wall, Jet catapulted himself and Levy back into the open air.

"Falcon Heavenward!"

Levy shrieked. Jet twisted as they fell. Sol looked up. His eyes widened. His monocle fell out and dangled at the end of its chain. Jet smashed into Sol boots-first. The binding vines snapped under the impact. Sol crashed into the ground. Jet staggered, with Levy still in his arms, and managed to stay upright.

Sol sprawled on the ground, groaning softly, eyes rolled back in his head. Droy dropped down from the bar sign. The three of them gathered around the fallen Phantom mage.

"We're Team Shadow Gear," Jet informed him breathlessly.

Levy grinned. "Levy, Jet and Droy!" She linked hands with the two of them.

"So don't forget it!" Droy said.

* * *

Gajeel sniffed the air. Nothing. He went back to where the entrance to the trash's guild hall had been – now a tangle of broken wood and bent girders – and took another deep sniff. Still nothing! Ashley hadn't been there at all! And where the hell was the Salamander? Gajeel was pretty keen on slamming that guy's face into a wall.

He stomped over to that busted-up carrot-top Fairy they'd dragged out of the hall before it went down, and kicked him in the gut. That woke the bastard up in a hurry.

"Where's Ashley?"

"Ashley?" the trash repeated weakly. He counted girls on his fingers. "Amabel, Carmen, Shiori, Sunilda, Ilyse-" He looked over and realised that one of Gajeel's boots was on his other hand.

"What the hell are you doing?" Gajeel growled. "Tell me where Lucy is!"

"I thought you were looking for Ashley," the asshole said. "Never heard of either of them. Wouldn't tell you if I had."

Gajeel ground his boot down on the trash's fingers, making him cry out in pain. "Fine. Then where's the Salamander?"

The asshole's eyes bugged out of his head. "What's with your_ taste_?" he demanded. "I wouldn't tell you where Natsu was, either!"

"He a friend of yours?" Gajeel said.

"Yes!"

Gajeel kicked the trash in the gut again, to knock the breath out of him, and hauled him to his knees by the back of his jacket. "Let's see if he comes to help you out, then!" He raised his other fist and transformed it into an iron bar, and then the trash hit him in the side of the knee.

"Regulus!" There was a flash of golden light. Gajeel's boot shot out from under him with a shriek of metal studs. For a moment he lurched, off-balance, and then gravity took over. Gajeel fell on his ass. The Fairy sprawled on the ground, gasping.

"Ooooh, bad idea," Sue said.

Gajeel scrabbled back to his feet, white with fury. "Who the hell do you think you are?" He booted the Fairy in the ribs so hard it lifted him off the ground. The Fairy wheezed, struggled to get up and slumped back down. "Is that all the fight you got, trash?" He parked one massive boot on the Fairy's head and ground down. "Where the hell is Lucy?"

Lucy was barely twenty feet away, peeking around the corner of a side street and wincing.

She knew Juvia had to be in the headquarters, because that was the centre of the steady rain. She was just trying to figure out how to get past Gajeel. She was fairly sure he didn't know she was there, partly because he'd always neglected his magical senses in favour of his sense of smell and the only breeze put her downwind of him, but also because every time he kicked the Fairy he yelled "Tell me where Ashley is!" Master Jose must have told Gajeel what had really happened. Maybe he would have edited out the part where she kicked him in the crotch. Lucy didn't even want to think about what would happen if they caught her.

The Fairy let out a thin, breathless cry of agony. Lucy flinched and turned her head away.

"Loke!" someone shouted.

Lucy looked up. Three Fairy mages were sprinting towards her. Two guys, and a girl with blue hair. She reached for her whip reflexively, but they ran straight by. The blue-haired one definitely saw her, a sideways flick of the eyes as she raced past to help her guildmate that left Lucy feeling... ashamed, somehow. Which was ridiculous, wasn't it? She had to look after herself. She couldn't expect anyone except Juvia to charge in and rescue _her_.

"Fire!" The Fairy girl spun and flung out both hands. The word 'fire' materialised in front of her in blazing foot-high letters, and she blasted it at Gajeel. One of the guys threw a handful of seeds at him.

"Chain Plant!"

Gajeel's skin rippled and turned to steel plating. The fire washed over him and went out. The seeds exploded into vines, roots shattering the paving stones. Gajeel grabbed a handful and yanked them out of the earth.

"Man, why are we even down here?" Bozo said.

"Because Titania and the rest of them escaped and Juvia's lost her mind," Sue said.

"Oh yeah," said Bozo. "Hey, wait!" Behind Gajeel the other member of the trio appeared in a blur and grabbed hold of the orange-haired Fairy.

Sue reached out and a glowing green magical seal appeared over their heads. She flipped her hand over. "Kaleidoscope!" A cage of mirrors appeared around the two of them. "I hope you both like looking at your own pathetic faces, because you're going to be in there a while!"

Gajeel transformed one of his arms into an iron bar and took a step forward. The vines snapped and tore free of the ground. "Did you think that'd hold me, trash?" He slammed the iron bar into the plant mage's stomach.

"Droy!" the blue-haired girl shrieked. She was casting another spell when Gajeel grabbed her by her wrists and hauled her off the ground. She kicked out at him. He ignored it.

"Where's Lucy?"

Crap. Lucy turned to run.

"I don't know!" the blunette yelled. "And I wouldn't tell you if I did!"

What?

How could she not have – She was lying? Right to Gajeel's face? She was_ lying_?

Gajeel looked her up and down and grinned nastily. "Bet I could convince you, shrimp!" He drew back his fist.

"Gajeel!" Lucy roared. "Put her down!"

Gajeel looked around, startled. "Ashley?" He scowled. "How long've you been running around? I've been looking for you, princess. You been wasting my time?" The blue-haired girl kicked out at him again. He held her further away.

Lucy realised, belatedly, that she was standing in the middle of the street where everyone could see her. That... had not been a good idea. She took a step forward and lifted her chin. "Don't pretend you came here to help me!"

"Who says I did? Figured I'd track you down as a favour to Lockser, is all. It's not like _I_ care," Gajeel growled, and folded his arms. Since he was still holding the Fairy mage by the wrists, this resulted in her being dragged across the ground and tethered to his side.

"Ow!" The Fairy mage yanked at her wrists. "Let me go!"

"Let her go!" Lucy said.

"Let her go? Okay!" Gajeel yanked the Fairy mage off her feet and flung her away. She hit the ground with a thud. "She's gone! Gihihihi!" The Fairy mage scrambled to her hands and knees and over to the the plant mage's side. "What are you so concerned about trash for?"

"Who should I be concerned about? The guild that tried to kidnap me?" Lucy demanded. "Master Jose was trying to sell me back to my father! He- those are _my keys_!"

Gajeel spun her keyring idly around one finger.

"Give them back! How did you get hold of them?"

"You forgot them in Master Jose's office, idiot," Gajeel said.

"No, I didn't!"

Gajeel glared at her. "You forgot your keys, you wandered off and you let the Fairy trash jump you."

"I didn't!" Lucy snapped again.

"We never tried to kidnap her," the blue-haired girl agreed. "Master would never have approved that!"

"You got a death wish, runt?" Gajeel demanded. "If your old man never approved it, how come your weakass Dragon Slayer tried to grab her in the first place?"

"Natsu does a lot of things Master doesn't approve of!" the blue-haired girl said.

"The only person who kidnapped me was Jose!" Lucy snapped. "He found out my father would pay to have me sent back, and when I didn't agree to trot back home by myself he knocked me out and locked me in the sky cells! I had to tackle him out the window to get away!"

There was a moment of silence. Gajeel scowled again. "What were you doing arguing with Master Jose?"

"What," Lucy said.

"He's the guild master! If he told you to toddle off home, you should have done it! What did you join up for if you weren't going to follow orders?"

Lucy went red. "I can't believe you're being such a jerk!" She stamped her foot. "What sort of idiot would want to follow orders from someone who'd try to kidnap them? That's not an efficient way of managing a guild!"

"Well, if that's what you think, then get out!" Gajeel snarled. "Phantom doesn't need weaklings who pitch a strop just because they got kidnapped a little! I'll throw you out myself!"

"You can't expel me! I quit!" Lucy yelled, flaring red with anger. "I tackled Jose out a window and kicked him in the nuts! That is my _official resignation_! Screw you, screw Jose, screw your entire stupid guild! - except Juvia and you guys and Ryos," she added to Sue and Bozo, who were staring blankly.

"...Ta. Appreciated," said Bozo.

"You'd _better_ not screw Ryos. He's like eight. It'd be wildly inappropriate," said Sue.

The blue-haired girl was just staring in horror.

Gajeel spluttered. "What are you, stupid? You can't leave! Where else are you gonna go? Get up there and apologise to Master Jose, right now!" He pointed at the headquarters.

He'd been bluffing? "No!" Lucy laughed hysterically. "No way!" Was Juvia going to react like this too? Juvia was just as devoted to Phantom as Gajeel was!

Gajeel's face twisted into a snarl. "Fine! Fuck off, then! Phantom Lord's the strongest guild in the country!" His arm transformed into an iron bar. Lucy took a step back. "We don't need you!" He lashed out.

Lucy dropped to the ground and the blow smashed into the wall above her head. Bricks shattered. Dust showered down. Lucy looked up. It would have missed by a mile even if she hadn't ducked. Gajeel yanked his arm back, and Lucy's keys fell jangling into her lap.

She stared at them. That couldn't be an accident, could it? He'd given her back her keys?

"Get out of here if you're that pathetic, then!" Gajeel spat. "Run and hide behind Lockser!" He jerked a thumb at the headquarters.

Lucy blinked at him.

"The teleporter link's behind that leg there. Bet you didn't know that, idiot," Gajeel sneered. "Well? Go! Get out of my sight!"

He was giving her back her keys and ordering her to go find Juvia? Was he trying to send her into a trap?

Lucy discounted that theory immediately. Gajeel was not that smart. But then, why-?

She remembered Gajeel standing on the roof, on her first mission, and greeting her after that disastrous job with Lee Annur and Rossa - "Want me to punch it out for you?" Realisation dawned.

Gajeel was her friend. He had been her friend this whole time.

Holy _shit_ Gajeel was bad at being friends.

"What the hell are you doing?" someone roared. Lucy looked up, startled. Gajeel turned around with a scowl. It was Fairy Tail's Dragon Slayer, furious, all teeth and fire.

"Natsu!" the blue-haired girl exclaimed.

"Isn't she your friend? Aren't you people from the same guild?" the Dragon Slayer demanded. "Is that how your guild works?"

Gajeel fixed the other Dragon Slayer with a menacing stare, which was completely wasted because the pink idiot just shouted, charged across the square and punched Gajeel in the face. Gajeel hit the ground so hard it cratered. Cracks radiated out across the paving stones in all directions. He clambered back to his feet, snarling.

"We need to get out of here!" the blue-haired girl said, trying to haul her plant mage teammate to his feet. "Droy, come on!"

Lucy decided to take the Fairy girl's advice and scrambled up. "Gajeel!" she hollered. "Kick his ass!"

"What the hell did you think I was gonna do, princess?" he yelled back. "Push off and quit distracting me!"

Lucy raced for the closest leg of the headquarters and saw to her surprise that Sue had released the other two Fairies from the mirror cage. The ginger one in the silly hat grabbed the ginger one not in a silly hat and got out of there in a hurry, just as a blast of flame scorched the ground where they had been standing.

"Fire can't hurt steel, Salamander!" Gajeel shouted, and lifted both hands to his mouth. "Iron Dragon's Roar!"

Sue yanked Lucy back behind the leg of the headquarters. "Get down, idiot!" A tornado of flying metal shards burst out of Gajeel's mouth. Shrapnel gouged holes in the paving stones.

"Flame Dragon's Roar!" The other Dragon Slayer countered with his own breath attack. A blast of fire smashed into the whirlwind of steel. The superheated air blew it apart. The rain

"Dragon fire isn't ordinary fire!" he yelled. "You'd better take me seriously, or I'll turn you to ashes!"

Lucy and Sue huddled close together. "He's got metal shards sticking right out of him. That's insane," Bozo said. He was peering around the edge.

"If you get shrapnel to the face I won't bother to visit you in the hospital," Sue told him.

"Why'd you let the Fairies out?" Lucy asked breathlessly.

"With two of them still locked up, the other two have a reason to stick around. Once I let them out, all four of them shoved off," Sue said. "And they're more limited if they have to look after two injured people instead of just leaving them locked up in a giant disco ball, so the next Phantoms they run into can take them out. Besides, it'd be a waste of my energy trying to maintain it with those two thrashing around out there."

"Oh, right," Lucy said.

"It's a pity you've defected, anyway," Sue said shortly, "because otherwise I would totally tell you that Juvia's staged a mutiny."

"What?" Lucy said, aghast. Juvia? Calm, professional, ice-cold Juvia?

"What do you mean, what? Obviously I can't just casually inform deserters that Juvia's completely flipped and beaten the tar out of the guys trying to fire Jupiter and trashed their control room and so far managed to evade Master Jose completely and someone should probably smack some sense into her," Sue said, and raked her hands through her short hair. "I could probably have told you that that's the warp activator up there, too. Man, just look at all that delicious info I could have given you if only you weren't a filthy traitor."

"Okay," Lucy said. "Thanks for... not giving me useful information."

"Don't mention it. Seriously, never mention it," Sue said.

Lucy stood on tiptoe. Over Sue's head, set into the twisted metalwork of the headquarters' leg, was a lacrima with a diagram next to it of a stick figure and an arrow pointing upwards. Lucy pressed her fingertips against it. Her guild mark tingled. There was one deeply unpleasant moment where she felt as if she was being stretched out like toffee, and then she was back in the hallways of the headquarters.

She was also completely surrounded.

* * *

A/N: Chapter edited because when I copy-pasted it the first time I kind of missed off the last sentence. Whoops.


	14. Fight Scenes, Yelling II

Lucy had just warped in to the Phantom headquarters and found herself totally surrounded by more than a dozen Phantom mages. They all looked up when she appeared on the plinth in the centre of the room, but before they had been sitting gloomily against the walls with their heads down or peeking out at the door. Were they hiding from something?

Lucy didn't recognise any of them. Were they from the third subdivision? Or were they the reinforcements that were supposed to show up?

"...Password," said one of the men by the door.

"What?" Lucy said. Password? To prove she wasn't a Fairy in disguise? What would that be, 'Phantom Lord is the best?' She had no idea!

So instead she lifted her chin and fixed him with withering contempt. "What do you mean, password? I've never seen you before. What division are you?"

"...third," he admitted.

Thank God for that. Subdivisioners she could intimidate. "I'm Lucy Ashley, first division. So I wasn't around for the password lecture, big deal – I'm not going to be chided about it by subdivision trash," Lucy sneered. "Let me through."

He hesitated.

Lucy spun her keys in her hand and snapped them onto her belt. "Open, Gate of the Chisel! Caelum, Sword Form!" Caelum settled into her hands. Lucy swung it onto her shoulder. "You got a death wish, trash?"

The subdivisioner pulled the door open. "Fine. Go out there if you want to."

Lucy jumped down from the platform. "That's more like it! Trash should know how to follow orders." She sauntered out of the door, wary for an attack from behind, but they let her go. The door slammed shut behind her.

Lucy headed down the corridor. It was very empty. And quiet. Maybe because Juvia was running riot? Lucy still couldn't really believe that Juvia would do something so extreme, though. Where would Juvia be? If Lucy had gone rogue and started destroying cannons, where would she be?

Well, that was easy. Lucy would be hiding.

The shadows shifted on the floor ahead of her.

Lucy tipped her head back. Ghostly figures were seeping out of the walls overhead. They were empty cloaks with long twig-skinny arms and twin burning red lights for eyes. Jose's Shades.

Lucy ran, screaming. "_Juviaaaa_!"

* * *

Erza and Gray dived in through an open window on the ground floor. Erza rolled and came back to her feet. She was requipping out of the Black Wing Armour and into the Heaven's Wheel Armour as she did, ready to face a hundred enemies. Gray leapt to his feet. There were no Phantom mages in the hallway.

"Which way is it to the cells?" Gray asked.

Erza thought about the window that she, Mira and Elfman had escaped through, and pointed. "The stairs are that way." She was pointing directly into the wall. She requipped her double-bladed axe again.

"Erza," Gray said.

Erza swung the axe. The blade bit deep into the wall, shearing through plaster into the brick. "It'll be quickest to go in a straight line."

"Erza!" Gray said. "Ice-Make: Lance!"

Erza whirled round. Almost a solid mass of ghostly cloaked soldiers were bearing down on them, too many to count. Gray's spears of ice tore through the tight-packed first line. Erza traded her axe for a dozen swords. "Blumenblatt!" She slashed through the horde of Shades with the twin swords in her hands, and as she broke through their ranks the other swords followed her. The storm of blades slashed the wraiths to ribbons of tattered cloth. Erza straightened up and looked over her shoulder, and then her eyes widened as the phantasms swirled and reformed.

"What the hell?" Gray demanded. "Ice Geyser!" A mountain of ice erupted from the floor, impaling the Shades on frozen spikes. They slipped away from it, and the gaping holes sealed over.

"This is Jose's Shade magic!" Erza said. "He can create wraiths to do his fighting for him."

"Wraiths.. so they're invulnerable?"

Erza's mouth set into a grim line. "We can destroy them if we hit them hard enough!" She raised her twin swords above her head and swung them down with enough force to shatter a skull. "Circle Sword!"

Gray threw himself flat to avoid the swords flying over his head. The guy who had been trying to sneak up behind them had to dive flat, too.

"Yow!"

Erza and Gray looked back as the flying swords shredded the wraiths. The Phantom mage on the floor behind them got hurriedly to his feet, brushed dust from his orange gi and pretended that he had meant to be on the floor, he had seen something interesting down there which merited closer inspection.

"You two are Fairy Tail mages, yes?"

"We are," Erza confirmed. "Who are you?"

The Phantom mage didn't answer. "Are you trying to rescue your master? I can't allow that."

"We didn't plan on anyone allowing us," Gray said, and thrust out both hands, palms outward. "Ice-Make: Lance!" A dozen ice lances erupted from his hands and shot towards the Phantom mage.

"Yellow Fire!" An arc of flames blossomed in front of the Phantom mage and engulfed the ice lances. Steam billowed up. "I am Totomaru of the Element Four, Phantom Lord's fire master. If you're just an ice mage, you shouldn't even try." He looked past Gray. "I'd be interested in sparring with you, Titania."

"...Erza, I'm taking this guy," Gray said. "You go get the old man." Erza nodded.

"Have you failed to understand me somehow? An ice mage is at a disadvantage against a fire mage," Totomaru spelt out.

"I've beaten better fire mages," Gray sneered.

Totomaru drew his sword as Erza passed him. "Hey!" Erza casually knocked his blade aside with an armoured hand and set off down the corridor at a run. The wraiths swirled and chased after her. Totomaru made to follow.

"I'm your opponent!" Gray shouted. "Ice-Make: Sword!"

* * *

"One, two..." Mira leant out a little further around the corner. "Three." She and Elfman were trying to take out the Phantom mages guarding the south road, so that the civilians would be able to get out if they had to.

Well, mainly Elfman. Mira couldn't do anything to help.

"Men don't care about their enemies' numbers," Elfman growled. "I'll defeat them alone!"

Mira smiled and opened her mouth to agree.

"Oh, hubris! The greatest of all sins! How can tragedy not follow close behind?"

"...that wasn't me!" Mira said, startled. They both spun around.

Aria extended one hand, palm towards them. "Zetsu!"

Elfman shoved Mira out of the way and took the brunt of the attack. The barrage of exploding air pockets flung him back across the street, and he landed with a crash that made the ground shake. The three Phantom grunts on the roof looked down in surprise. Elfman growled and clambered to his feet.

"Are you not the Strauss siblings, Elfman the Beast and Demon Mirajane?" Aria rumbled. He spread his hands out wide. "I am Aria, greatest of the Element Four. I have come to slay monsters."

"Elfman's not a monster!" Mira shouted, at the same moment that Elfman yelled "A man doesn't care who his opponent is! Beast Arm: Black Bull!" His right arm turned black and bulked up. When he clenched his fist his massive tendons stood out like iron cables.

Aria lifted one hand. "Zetsu!"

Elfman was blasted back off his feet and into the ground again.

"Elfman!" Mira shouted, both hands over her mouth.

"How sorrowful, that the two of you should both be handing over your lives to me!" Aria wailed.

Elfman scrambled back to his feet and roared "Don't get cocky!" He charged Aria and, right as Elfman's fist ploughed towards his face, Aria dissolved into mist. Elfman skidded to a stop and looked around wildly. "Where'd he go?"

Behind him, the air distorted. "Elfman!" Mira screamed, and Aria materialised behind him.

"This is over for you, Beast Arm Elfman! This is the same pain your master felt – Metsu!"

Elfman howled and doubled over. Golden light blazed up around him. "No! Stop it!" Mira shrieked, tears flooding down her cheeks. "Stop!" Elfman fell to the ground. The light died. His right arm shimmered and turned back to normal.

"Oh, the tragedy!" Aria lamented. "Will your sister have to see another little sibling stolen away before her very eyes?"

"No! Please, don't!" Mira screamed.

Aria extended one hand. "In such a weakened state, what can any man do but die? Zetsu!"

Die?

Mira's breath stopped in her throat. Die? She saw Lisanna's frail broken body, heard her last laboured gasps. Mira couldn't breathe, she couldn't speak, her hands hung limply at her sides but still she screamed, and in answer her magic burst free.

Aria turned. "What-"

Mira's magic gutted Aria's spell, a fragile thing, all delicacy and woven air; it shattered the stones beneath her feet; it tore at her hair and skirts. She burned like a supernova. Cracks crazed across her face. Her dress disintegrated. Her hands turned to razor-edged claws.

Aria smiled, and reached up to his blindfold. "If the Demon Mirajane has decided to take this seriously, then I will have to return the favour-" He was halfway through removing the blindfold when Mirajane punched him in the face. Aria was sent flying. He skidded in the mud. The blindfold fell from his hand. He threw out both hands towards her.

"Zetsu!"

Mirajane howled and tore at her hair, back arching. Wings erupted from her shoulderblades and catapulted her into the sky. The barrage exploded underneath her.

Mirajane brought both hands togetther, and a dark energy began to collect between them. "I am going to destroy you," she said. It was almost casual, a statement of fact, as if she had already watched the battle play out.

"Oh, hubris," Aria said. He opened his eyes. They glowed faintly. "How tragic, this rot that sets into the hearts of great mages, so that they sicken from within." He climbed to his feet. "There is always someone better than you, little demon. Zetsu!"

Mirajane rolled to one side, wings a blur, wheeling and sliding between the lethal airspaces like a dancer. The spell in her hands was done charging. "Demon Blast!" With an earsplitting roar, the beam of concentrated magic tore up the street and ploughed a deep channel in the earth. The rain hissed into steam. Aria dissolved into air as he saw the beam racing towards him, and reformed when it had passed, but it took him a few seconds to reassemble his body completely. In those few seconds, Mira slammed both her high-heeled boots into his face.

"Agh! Hitofuki!" There was no finesse to that spell, just brute force, an expanding airspace that hurled Mirajane back. She hit the ground, bounced, twisted like a cat in midair and landed on her feet.

What kind of monster -

Aria whipped up a whirlwind around himself. The air blackened as if it were filled with smoke. "This is the airspace of death, Zero! This airspace will steal the very breath from your lungs!" Mirajane retreated by a couple of great jumps, wings beating. He laughed. "Come at me, Demon Mirajane! Shall we see which of us is stronger?"

Mirajane snatched a street lamp that was listing at a crazy angle from the shattered earth. Aria was a tall, broad shadow within the darkness of the Zero airspace. Easy target. She screamed and flung the street lamp at him like a spear.

It lanced through the tangled winds and smashed into Aria. It hurled him backwards. The airspace of death broke apart. Mira didn't waste a second. She rushed in close as Aria reeled. Dark energy was already gathering between her hands, sucking in air and magic, as black as a hole cut out of the world. She shoved both hands under his chin. "Soul Extinction!"

Soul Extinction was a spell designed to strike enemies fifty feet or more away. At point-blank range, it blasted Aria into the sky.

Mirajane didn't look to see where he fell, or to watch the blast of purple magic dissipate. She ran back to Elfman, her Take-Over fading as she did, and when she dropped to her knees beside him her long skirts pooled all around her. Her magic settled just beneath her skin, as if it had never gone away.

"Elfman! Elfman, are you all right?"

"Mira-nee?" Elfman clasped her hand. "I'm so glad – you're back to how you're supposed to be-" He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry-"

"What? There's nothing you should be sorry for!" Mira said.

"I wasn't strong enough to protect you," Elfman said.

"That doesn't matter!" Mira said. "There are a lot of things more important than being the strongest." She knew that even at her best there were a lot of mages that were stronger than her. Erza, Laxus, the master, probably Mystogan and definitely Gildarts, to start with.

Aria just wasn't one of them.

* * *

Lucy caught sight of what she'd been looking for. "Caelum! Cannon Form!" The spirit changed form. Lucy clutched the awkward shape to her chest. "Charge!"

This was a narrow corridor, narrow enough that Lucy could have touched both walls with her arms outstretched, jammed in around the dining halls and the other massive rooms that took up most of the ground floor. Lucy tore down it and spun at the far end, as the Shades streamed after her, close-packed in the narrow hallway. "Fire!"

Caelum's energy blast carved a hole clear through the mass of Shades to the other side. Lucy staggered from the recoil.

"Great! Good job, Caelum!" Lucy still wasn't sure if Caelum was sentient enough to appreciate being thanked, but it didn't hurt.

And then the hole began to close over. The Shades' cloaks spun themselves back together. Lucy's elated smile faded. The Shades swirled and came after her again.

Lucy wailed and ran. "This isn't fair! Juviaaa! Where are you?" She sprinted down a hallway and crashed into the door at the far end. It burst open. Lucy tumbled through and landed on the floor.

"Ashley? The hell?"

Lucy looked up. A staff, a full black skirt, white blouse, a mane of dyed black hair, and a firebreathing demon leopard.

"Lee Annur?" Lucy scrambled to her feet.

Lee Annur sniffed irritably and slung her staff across her shoulders. "Have you seen Rossa?"

"No. Sorry," Lucy said. Lee Annur scowled. Lucy looked around quickly. This was the first-division dining hall; she could tell from the decorative wall panelling and because the Phantom Lord banners hanging from the roof beams looked new, even if some of them were on fire. Lee Annur had obviously been fighting. A set of stairs led up to a balcony. Shades wheeled around the ceiling, and more were flooding in. They weren't attacking, though.

"What's going on?"

Lee Annur was looking up, too. "Well, the reinforcements aren't coming, for starters. Can't even reach them," she said. "Cowards. The master'll punish them for that, later. Weren't you kidnapped at some point?"

"Yeah," Lucy said, because Sue had probably told her everything. She glanced up at the wheeling Shades again. "But I escaped! I'm not a Fairy in disguise or anything!"

"I know it's you, Ashley, you're making that annoying noise you make," Lee Annur said.

"Hey!"

Lee Annur rolled her eyes. Lucy decided she was just being difficult. "I mean with them!" Lucy pointed up at the Shades. Why aren't they attacking?"

Lee Annur looked up. "I guess they figure we'll fight it out," she said. "Why waste magic taking you out when I can do it?"

...that was just an example, right?

Lee Annur unshouldered her staff. "Eh. I've been wanting to kick your ass for a while."

Oh crap.

Lucy held Caelum tight to her chest. Its cannon began to charge. "I... I don't really think that's necessary, I just want to-"

"Flauros! Go!"

As Flauros leapt, Caelum fired. It missed. The bolt of green energy shot past Flauros's left ear and singed the end of its tail. The recoil tore Caelum out of Lucy's hands, flung her backwards and sent her skidding across the floor, away from Flauros and Lee Annur. When Caelum hit the floor, it melted away back to the stellar spirit world. Flauros charged at Lucy, mouth open. Lucy yanked her keys from her belt.

"Open, Gate of the-"

Oh crap. Crap. That wasn't Taurus's key.

But there wasn't time to reach for it. "-Great Bear! Ursa Major!"

Flauros leapt. Lucy screamed. Ursa Major materialised between them, a solid wall of muscle and fur, and slapped Flauros to the ground. Flames spewed out of its mouth. Ursa Major swung her head away and scowled as Flauros bounced back to its feet.

"Ashley. Sweetness. Baby girl," Ursa Major said. "Why in the everloving fuck are you bothering me? I got better things to do than smack a cat around for your amusement, you creepy pet abuser."

Lucy scrambled back. "It was an accident! I was trying to grab Taurus's key! And it's not a cat, it's a firebreathing demon leopard!"

"Leopards are a type of cat, Ashley," Lee Annur said. Flauros circled them, just out of Ursa Major's reach.

"Oh, hey, right," Ursa Major said, "because I'm a giant bear and he's a lech in a skirt? Easy mistake to make, if you're blind, and dumb, and the mass that was meant to be in your brain ended up in your top."

"What? Hey!" Lucy had been just about to call out Taurus and send Ursa Major back, but instead she brandished her keys at the giant bear. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Babe, you look like two watermelons taped to a stick. You need to get yourself some cake, stat."

"This is amazing," Lee Annur said.

"Shut up!" Lucy snapped. "Both of you! I am having a very stressful day today and I am not in the mood!"

"You think you're having a bad time? I was halfway through my dinner when suddenly this meebling blonde piece I'm not even contracted to demands I show up to participate in her rampant animal abuse," said Ursa Major. "Girl, you are broken in the head. After you get cake, you should get some therapy."

"I am not! This is serious!" Lucy said. "My guild master kidnapped me! I had to kick him in the crotch and jump out of a window to escape!"

"...Uh," said Ursa Major. "Huh?"

"Also, Fairy Tail, they tried too," Lucy said. "But it's my dad who's trying to kidnap me really."

"Is this all simultaneous?" Ursa Major said. "Are you in a scavenger hunt? As an item?"

"No, listen, I can explain," Lucy said. "I ran away from home a year ago, because after my mother died my father turned into a total jerk, and then he hired Fairy Tail to kidnap me for him, but their most ridiculous mage came to do it so we kicked his ass and told Master Jose what happened, and then he decided to sell me back to my father himself, and I had to jump out of a window to get away from him! And now he's trying to kill me with a giant robot, which I think is a massive overreaction!" After that she had to stop to breathe.

Lee Annur and Ursa Major both blinked at her. Lucy glared back at them.

"Oh, waaaah," said Lee Annur. "What were you expecting? Telling Master Jose he could swap you for money? How thick are you?"

At the same moment, Ursa Major said "You poor thing!"

"Uh. What?" said Lucy.

"Sit your ass down, Ashley, I'll deal with this," Ursa Major ordered, and spun around. "Get over here, you furry douchebag! I'm gonna bite your tail off and floss with it!"

She took off after Flauros with considerable speed considering she must weigh a ton. Lee Annur skittered away and Flauros dived under one of the heavy oak dining tables. Ursa Major thumped both heavy paws down on the table's edge. It skidded back a few feet. Flauros shot out from under the table and, before Ursa Major could smack it back down, clawed its way onto her back. Ursa Major roared and reared up. Flauros hung on and sunk its teeth into her shoulder. Smoke hissed between its jaws. Ursa Major bellowed, reared up and fell backwards. She and Flauros both crashed to the floor.

Flauros yowled and kicked and spat sparks. Ursa Major's fur caught and smouldered, sending up the acrid stink of burning hair. She rolled aside, snarling, and smothered the tiny flicker of flame against the floor. Flauros scrambled up and limped back towards Lee Annur as fast as it could. It was dragging one of its hind legs behind it. Lee Annur swiped her staff at Flauros's head.

"What are you hopping around for? Get back out there!" Before Flauros could obey, though, a yell rang out from upstairs.

"Ice-Make: Chandelier!"

Lucy, Lee Annur, Flauros and Ursa Major all looked up. A great shimmering chandelier of ice crystals appeared hanging from the roof beams, and Fairy Tail's underpants mage – fully dressed just at the moment - leapt for it from the railing of the balcony. He caught the very edge and swung out over the dining hall with a clashing and jangling of icicles on icicles.

Totomaru leapt up onto the railing after him. "Yellow Fire!" He blasted flames at the base of the chandelier. It crashed to the ground, but the underpants mage had already thrown himself clear. Totomaru jumped from the railing to the banister of the stairs and slid down it, still upright, sword pointed ahead of him. At the bottom he leapt off and somersaulted in midair.

The underpants mage clapped his hands together "Ice-Make: Twin Cutlasses!" Two frozen swords with wickedly curved blades appeared. The underpants mage caught one in his right hand and hurriedly put the other between his teeth.

"You look ridiculous!" Totomaru shouted, and closed with him.

"_Ooo_ ook ridikuwus!" the underpants mage retorted.

Swords clanging wildly, they fought across the dining hall. As they reached the first of the long tables, Totomaru leapt up onto it.

"It's over, Fullbuster! I have the higher ground!"

The underpants mage bit through the ice cutlass between his teeth. "You underestimate my power!" He leapt onto the tabletop after Totomaru. They battled dramatically down the length of the table.

"Avast, villain!" the underpants mage shouted.

"'Avast'? That's what pirates say, dumbass! You mean 'avaunt'!"

"I said what I meant!" The underpants mage flung off his jacket and shirt. Not to be outdone, Totomaru yanked off his own jacket. Since he had to untie his belt first, it took a little longer. Belt, jacket, skintight fishnet shirt- "Ow – fuck, where's the zip-" Totomaru stabbed his katana into the table and wriggled around.

The underpants mage waited coolly. Finally Totomaru managed to tug his shirt over his head and fling it aside. "Ha!" He hurriedly fixed his hair, retrieved his sword and lunged at the underpants mage, who parried the blow. The ice sword broke.

"Ice is no match for steel, fool!"

"I can make more swords!" the underpants mage shouted. He leapt back and brought both hands together, and then up as if he were shooting an imaginary bow. "Ice-Make: Sword Bazooka!" Ice whirled and coalesced into a massive cannon balanced on his shoulder. "Fire!" A fusillade of ice swords exploded from the barrel of the cannon. Totomaru blurred to one side and rolled under the table as the volley of swords pierced deep into the wood. The recoil threw the underpants mage back off his feet. Totomaru burst out from cover and closed the distance between them, swinging a two-handed overhead blow down at the underpants mage's head.

The underpants mage blocked it with the ice cannon and leapt back off the table. Totomaru followed him, and they fought out of the door and into the corridor outside. The sound of blades clanging together dramatically grew fainter in the distance.

Ursa Major was still sprawled on the floor. "What was I doing?" she said out loud, and looked around. "Oh, yeah! Violence!" She clambered up. "Come on, pussycat!"

Flauros hopped frantically away from Ursa Major.

Lee Annur exhaled angrily and swung her staff down. "Marchosias! Arise!" The wolf-demon appeared with a flash of light and a puff of sulphur, and stretched its wings. It glanced at Flauros, jerked its head to one side and then made a beeline for the stairs. Flauros fell back, and as it did its lower jaw seemed to unhinge entirely until its mouth was open wide enough to swallow Lucy's head. Flames flickered at the back of its throat. Marchosias reached the balcony overhead and bounded up onto the railing. A two-pronged attack? If Ursa Major went for Flauros, Marchosias would attack from above, and if she tried to go after Marchosias then Flauros would probably fireblast the stairs out from under her. Marchosias was apparently a lot better at tactics than its summoner was.

Ursa Major shifted her weight, glancing between the two opponents.

Wait. There weren't only two opponents, were there? Lee Annur was standing well back, behind both her demons.

"Ursa Major!" Lucy yelled, and pointed. Flauros skittered back to get between them and Lee Annur. Lucy ran forward and leapt onto Ursa Major's shoulders. Ursa Major reared up. Lucy was flung straight into Lee Annur.

And Lee Annur really wasn't a fighter, because as they both crashed to the ground she let go of her staff. As Lucy drew her fist back Lee Annur yowled and grabbed at her wrist, so Lucy headbutted her instead.

"Spirits-" whack! "- aren't-" whack! "- shields!" Whack! Lee Annur fell back onto the floor. The two demons vanished with pops and puffs of sulphur-smelling smoke.

Lucy rolled off her. "That was great, Ursa Major - owww!" She pressed both hands to her head. "How is her skull so thick?" She climbed to her feet. "Is my forehead all red?"

"Yeah. It looks stupid. Put a plaster on it," Ursa Major ordered. "You wrecked my plan, twerp. I was gonna beat one of them to bits with the other one and it was gonna be super badass."

"Thanks for helping, anyway," Lucy said. "Do you - uh-" What was the polite way to ask? She'd never had to before. "Do you want to make a contract now?"

"Nope," said Ursa Major. "Are you crazy? Have you got spaghetti for a brain? I only just got out of the last one."

"Oh," Lucy said. She pulled Ursa Major's key from the ring and held it out. "Do you want to take this, then?"

"Uh... I'll think about it," Ursa Major said. "You hang onto it for now. Temporarily. I don't want to have to carry it around. I guess if you summon me again and I feel like it I might help you out. Only if I feel like it, though."

"I see," Lucy said.

"Lucy?"

Lucy whirled around. "Juvia!" She clapped both hands to her mouth. Juvia looked awful! Her hat was gone and her hair was dishevelled. There were rips in her coat that she hadn't bothered to mend.

It occurred to Lucy that this was not the best moment to be standing over an unconscious Phantom mage. She backed away, hands raised. "Um, I need to tell you something, and I'd really like it if you didn't get mad-"

Juvia wailed and clutched at her hair.

"Uh. Juvia?"

Juvia swept one hand across in front of her. "Water Slicer!"


	15. Fight Scenes, Yelling III

Juvia swept one hand across in front of her. "Water Slicer!"

Lucy screamed, and Ursa Major threw herself between her and Juvia. The water arc slashed through thick fur into flesh. Ursa Major staggered, groaning, and then the other two hit. Ursa Major staggered sideways, and faded into starlight before she hit the ground.

"Ursa Major!" Lucy shrieked. "Juvia, what are you doing? Let me explain!"

"Lucy lied to Juvia!" Juvia wailed. "Juvia will never forgive Lucy!"

"Lie... what? Juvia, I haven't lied to you!" Lucy grabbed for her keys. "Open, Gate of the-"

"Water Cane!" The water whip lashed across Lucy's back. It knocked the air out of her lungs and threw her to the ground. She flung out her hands to catch herself. The impact jarred up to her shoulders. Her keys bit into her hands.

"Juvia, stop!" She scrabbled backwards. "Why are you-"

"Lucy is a liar!" Juvia screamed, at the top of her voice, loud enough that it must have torn at the inside of her throat. "Master Jose told Juvia that Lucy has been working for Fairy Tail all along!"

"Juvia, that's not true! That doesn't even make any _sense_!" Lucy shouted. She struggled to her knees and hung onto one of the benches bolted to the floor. "Jose tried to kidnap me! He locked me up and told everyone the Fairies did it!"

"Traitor!" Juvia screamed. "Double Wave!" Twin waves exploded from the floor on either side of Lucy. Water roared in her ears and the current dragged her off the ground. Her hair streamed out around her. Lucy clung desperately to the bench. Her lungs were bursting by the time the wave subsided. She lay across the bench, wheezing helplessly. Her thoughts whirled. What could she even do? She didn't want to hurt Juvia, and she couldn't if she tried. None of her spirits would be able to damage Juvia. She was made of water.

Water... Lucy's fist closed around her ice knuckleduster. Juvia had smashed into the walls to get at the pipes, and now she stood calf-deep in churning water, the same water Lucy was drenched in. If Lucy tried hard enough, even from here she might be able to - She lifted her head. The Shades wheeled high above like vultures.

Lee Annur's unconscious body was lying across one of the tables, one hand hanging down. Juvia had tossed her on to there so she wouldn't drown.

Lucy struggled to her feet. There had to be something better she could do.

"J-Juvia, please! I thought we were friends!"

Juvia's eyes went huge. White showed all around her irises. She screamed as if she were being ripped apart. "Lucy lied to Juvia! Lucy made Juvia think Lucy was her friend!"

"Juvia!" Lucy lurched forward into the table. "I am your friend! Why would I not be your friend?"

Juvia wailed and clutched at her hair. "Nobody else has wanted to be Juvia's friend!"

"That's not tr-" Lucy started reflexively, and stopped.

She'd never realised. She was so sorry.

"Juvia does not need friends!" Juvia screamed. "Juvia does not need Lucy! Juvia is a mage of Phantom Lord, she will not be lied to!" She slashed her hand down. "Water Cane!"

The blow flung Lucy back into the water. Her knuckleduster flew out of her hand. Lucy wheezed and spluttered. "Juvia! Stop!" She dragged herself to her feet.

Juvia brought both her hands together. The water began to spin in two columns, gearing up for a Water Nebula that would splatter Lucy over the far wall.

"Master Jose's the only one lying to you!" Lucy yelled. "The Fairies aren't going to send people to infiltrate other guilds! They are _not that smart_!"

Juvia hesitated. The spinning water columns drooped. Lucy staggered forward, lurched and fell into Juvia. She wrapped her arms around Juvia's waist.

"Juvia, listen to me! I'm your friend because you're kind and warm and usually not crazy! You're the nicest person in this guild! And if no-one else realised that then screw them because they didn't deserve you anyway!"

Her heart was hammering. Belatedly, Lucy remembered that Juvia could kill her in a second.

"Master Jose?" Juvia repeated.

Lucy nodded mutely.

Juvia locked her arms tightly around Lucy's shoulders, holding her in place. Her skin rippled. Lucy squeaked. "Juvia!"

Juvia drew more water into her body, and dissolved. She became a whirlwind of blades reaching up to the ceiling. Lucy cowered in the centre of the hurricane, arms over her head, and screamed. "_Juviaaaa_!"

Juvia annihilated the Shades. She sliced through the walls and ceiling and wraiths like they were all made of paper. She slashed the ghost soldiers into smaller and smaller pieces until there was nothing left, and then collapsed back into her real shape.

"Juvia is sorry," she said.

Lucy squealed with delight. "Juvia, you're back to normal!" She flung her arms around her friend. "What are you sorry about? It's not your fault!"

Juvia squeezed her eyes shut. Tears dripped down her cheeks. "Juvia is a bad friend. Juvia only makes people miserable, she should have trusted Lucy more and- oh? Oh no!" She flapped her hands at her face in distress. "Juvia is raining from her eyes!"

"That's... cute," Lucy said. "It's okay! Don't worry!" She stood on tiptoes to press her forehead against Juvia's. "It's not your fault! Let me explain-" Lucy hurriedly told Juvia how Jose had kidnapped her, how she'd escaped and come to Magnolia looking for her, how she'd been caught by the Fairies. With every word, Juvia's grip on Lucy's shoulder tightened and her eyes went almost black. "- and then the Fairies gave me back my weapons and let me go," Lucy finished. "I think they must just be really, really... _really_ stupid."

Juvia didn't answer. She was looking over Lucy's shoulder. Her expression had changed.

"Erza Scarlet's right behind me, isn't she," Lucy said. Juvia nodded. Lucy turned around.

Erza Scarlet had dropped into a defensive stance as soon as she came into the hall, as far as Lucy could tell. Her armour was gold, white and blue, with massive spiky shoulder guards, and she held a two-pointed spear in both hands. Her stare was focused on Juvia.

"Hello," Juvia said, and waved awkwardly. Erza Scarlet tightened her grip on her spear.

"I'm looking for Master Makarov," she said. "Will you tell me where the stairs to the cells went?"

"Oh!" Juvia covered her mouth with one hands. "That's right! The stairs to the cells wouldn't be in the same place, now that the headquarters has shifted into Jupiter configuration. We have drills on it every month! Well, the high-ranking members and the control team, at least... oh, Juvia supposes Miss Scarlet wasn't at the drills..." She trailed off and pressed her hands together anxiously.

The point of Erza's spear fell a little. She frowned. "Aren't you the same woman that I fought earlier?"

"Yes!" Juvia said. "I'm very sorry about that. It was a terrible misunderstanding! It was a terrible misunderstanding caused by Master Jose, who is a liar and a traitor and Juvia is going to kill him _kill him_ KILL HIM!"

Lucy blinked at Juvia, and said, "Um. Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"You mean to attack Jose directly?" Erza asked. Lucy blanched. Juvia nodded energetically. Erza considered it.

"That's a terrible idea," Lucy said, and was soundly ignored.

"Please, allow me to help," Erza said. "Defeating Jose would accomplish my aims just as well, and since you're challenging one of my guild's enemies, it would shame Fairy Tail if I didn't offer you my help."

Juvia clapped her hands. "Juvia would be delighted if Miss Scarlet would help her!"

"Is that what we're doing, then?" Lucy said. "Is there not an option where we don't do that?"

Erza swung her spear aside, crossed the hall and clasped hands with Juvia. "It'll be an honour to fight with you." She thought for a moment. "_Beside_ you. Do you know where Jose is?"

"I don't want to sound like a wimp. It's just that it's scary when they're evil dark-wizard Mage Saints," Lucy said, to the total disregard of all.

"He went to the audience chamber to make the announcement over the communications lacrima," Juvia said. Her eyes narrowed and her mouth set into a hard line. "Juvia thinks he will still be there."

Erza nodded grimly. "Let's go, then."

"Wait. Wait, wait!" Lucy said. "Can I make a suggestion?"

* * *

Fire roiled across the broken paving stones in front of the Fairies' ruined guild hall. The heat seared even through Gajeel's metal skin.

Fuck _that_.

"Iron Dragon's Club!" His left arm transformed into a steel bludgeon. He swung it up and brought it crashing down towards Natsu's head. Natsu dived out of the way and bounded back up onto his feet.

"Fire Dragon's Roar!" Flames burst from his mouth. Gajeel threw one arm up over his face and fell back a step as the flames washed over him. Natsu grabbed Gajeel's club arm and yanked, trying to pull him off balance. Gajeel staggered, and grinned.

"Iron Dragon's Blade!" Vicious steel spikes erupted from the edges of the club. Natsu recoiled with a shout. Gajeel whacked him square in the midsection and sent him rolling across the ground. "Gihihi! Is that the best the Fairy Butts can do, Salamander?"

"Fire Dragon's Claw!" Natsu catapulted himself to his feet and charged Gajeel, covering the space between them in barely a second, and before Gajeel could block or dodge Natsu spun in the air and slammed a blazing kick into Gajeel's midsection. Gajeel was flung into the rubble of the guild hall. A cloud of dust rose up.

"Don't you dare insult Fairy Tail!" Natsu shouted. "I won't forgive you for what you've done to our guild!"

"Take a good look at the thing you're fighting for, Salamander!" Gajeel gestured to the debris of the Fairies' hall, in the massive shadow of Phantom's headquarters. "Your guild's a rubbish heap!" He rolled to his feet and dragged a twisted steel joist out of the wreckage.

"Fairy Tail isn't a building! Fairy Tail is the mages in it!" Natsu snarled. "You can demolish the whole city and we'll still fight you!"

Gajeel tore the end off the joist with his teeth and swallowed.

"Hey!" Natsu bared his teeth and flailed. "How come you get to eat?"

"That's what you get for having a shitty element, Salamander," Gajeel jeered. "You ready for round two?"

Natsu swiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and scowled. "I'm done playing around with you, you scrap-metal bastard!" They clashed again with roars and heavy blows.

Sue peeked out around the edge of the headquarters' leg. The two Dragon Slayers were blurs of fists and bared teeth and rolling bursts of flame. She huddled closer behind the robot leg.

"...One of them's gonna die, right?"

"Not Gajeel," said Bozo. "Wait." He looked up. "Do you hear something?"

* * *

"White Fire!" The door to the roof blew off in a flash. Totomaru clattered up the stairs onto the roof.

"This is the most fucking atmospheric thing I ever saw," Totomaru said. The rain battered down on them. Overhead hung the barrel of the Jupiter cannon. "I can't believe I only just thought of this. Of course you never did, so clearly I still have the overwhelming advantage!" He spun and levelled his katana. "En garde, asshole!" Gray raced up the steps behind him. He was holding a massive claymore. Totomaru stared. "Where are your pants?"

Gray looked down, and then around. His pants were not in the immediate vicinity.

"In the eight seconds that I wasn't watching you, you misplaced your own pants? I suppose I should be grateful you're still wearing underwear," Totomaru said.

Gray shrugged. "When I win, I'm taking your pants."

"Are you some sort of deviant?"

"What? No!"

"You're a creepy clothes-stealing exhibitionist," Totomaru said. "Ugh, I wish I was fighting Erza Scarlet. I bet she's never been arrested for indecent exposure. You clearly have no idea what you're doing. You should Ice-Make yourself some pants and a pointy little dunce hat."

"How did we get into this, anyway?" Gray snapped.

"You did that fancy running-up-the-wall thing and then I did something cooler and you got competitive," Totomaru said.

"It was you that got competitive!" Gray snapped. Their blades clashed. They broke apart and circled each other warily. "This is stupid, anyway."

"Oh, so you want to give up? I suppose I can destroy you however you like," Totomaru said.

Gray scowled. "I'm a mage of Fairy Tail. We won't be beaten at anything!" He slashed at the blade of Totomaru's katana. The crash rang out and reverberated across the roof.

"Even though you're hopelessly overmatched? Well, I have to admire that sort of tenacity," Totomaru said.

"You talk too damn much," Gray said. Their blades clashed together. They both pushed against the clinch, trying to knock the other off-balance. "Take this seriously, you bastard! You've destroyed our guild hall!" He shoved hard, knocking Totomaru back.

"Destroyed your guild hall?" Totomaru repeated, and lashed out at Gray's side. Gray had to leap aside to avoid it. "You could easily have avoided that. All you had to do was not kidnap one of our mages."

"We never kidnapped any of your mages," Gray informed him, falling back and holding his claymore defensively. "Natsu's been an idiot, yeah, but after that your master grabbed the Heartfilia chick for her dad's money and pretended we stole her out of your own guild hall or some crap like that. Once she got away from him, she showed up here, we caught her and she told us about it."

Totomaru raised an eyebrow at him. "So as soon as she handily escaped she came to tell you all about it? And you didn't hand her over when Master Jose was threatening to fire Jupiter at you? That sounds rather implausible, doesn't it?" He tossed his katana absently from one hand to the other. "Not that I'm calling you a liar. I wouldn't say you were good enough at lying to be a liar."

"It's the truth," Gray snapped. "You think we'd try to nick someone off Phantom? Everyone knows how touchy you bastards are."

"You realise the girl in question is Juvia Lockser's partner? You're saying that Master Jose kidnapped one of his best mages' close friends. That's absurd," Totomaru said. His expression darkened. He lifted his katana. "You said you wanted me to take this more seriously, didn't you? Shall we start here?" He sliced his katana through the air ahead of him. "White Fire!"

An arc of eyesearing white flame erupted in the wake of the blade. The blast picked Gray up and flung him into the wall like a rag doll. It shattered one of the skylights, mixing glass shards with the rain.

Gray cried out and convulsed around the injury he'd got on Galuna Island. Blood ran down his face from his hairline. He fell forward, both hands pressed to the ground. "Ice-Make: Floor!" Ice rippled out from his hands and coated the roof, forming a thin slippery layer underfoot. Totomaru shifted his stance for greater stability, and laughed.

"You know my Yellow Fire can melt through this in a second, don't you?"

Gray wasn't about to give him that second. "Ice-Make: Lance!"

"White Fire!" Totomaru shouted again, but this time he gestured at the floor. The blast tossed him high into the air, over the lances, and shattered the ice floor. Totomaru twisted in midair and landed on his feet. Then he slipped on the shards of the ice sheet and fell on his ass. "Ow!" He flung out a hand. "Orange Fire!"

Gray slammed both fists together. "Ice-Make: Shield!"

The flame crashed against the icy wall and licked around it. Gray staggered back, gagging. "Eurgh! What is that?" He covered his face with both hands. "That's foul!"

"Haha! That's my shit-scent flame," Totomaru said, climbing back to his feet. "Enjoy reeking like diarrhoea for the rest of the day, assmunch!"

"Ugh. You're vulgar," Gray said.

"At least I'm wearing pants," Totomaru retorted.

"Is this a game to you?" Gray demanded. "Ice-Make: Hammer!" He caught the shaft of the massive sledgehammer in both hands and braced against its weight. "How do you think we'd ever lose to you? You're not fighting for anything!"

"Do you really think any of us are fighting to save this princess you stole?" Totomaru asked, astonished. "That's... quaint. Juvia might have been before she did her acrobatic flying flip off the handle, but I never even met the girl. This is to put you bastards back in your place. This is to punish you for daring to strike against Phantom." He grinned. "This is _pest control_."

Gray tightened his grip on the sledgehammer and swung it back. "I'm going to knock that smug expression off your face," he growled.

Totomaru laughed. "Try it, ice mage - wait." He tipped his head on one side. "Do you hear that?"

* * *

The door to the audience chamber blew off its hinges. Flashes of lightning and scraps of shredded wraith soldiers drifted around the doorframe as Juvia and Erza Scarlet stepped into the room. Lucy followed behind them.

Jose stood and advanced on them down the steps of his throne, past the communications lacrima. His eyes narrowed. His lips drew back to show his tombstone teeth. "What is the meaning of this? Have you turned traitor, Juvia?" The temperature fell. The shadows twisted in the corners of the room. Sickening fear slid down Lucy's spine.

"Master Jose betrayed Juvia first!" Juvia shouted. "He lied to Juvia! He stole her partner!"

"You kidnapped me for my father's money," Lucy said, speaking loudly and clearly, "and blamed it on the Fairies, and when I escaped you told my partner I'd defected so she would try to kill me for you. Didn't you?"

"I did," Jose confirmed, and smirked. "I can deal with my own mages as I like. If that troubles you, Miss Heartfilia, you should have left a long time ago."

Lucy exhaled. "How do you expect anyone to follow you when you just turn on them like that?"

"They should be honoured to be allowed into my guild," Jose said. "I created Phantom Lord! I named it for myself. I absorbed dozens of weak minor guilds and turned them into the subdivisions. I made Phantom Lord the strongest guild in Fiore. Our power was unsurpassed, our numbers were unsurpassed, our wealth was unsurpassed!" His eyes glittered, and then he scowled. "Weaklings like you should consider it an honour to be permitted to wear my mark."

"What? You've barely done anything!" Lucy said. "You didn't join in when they attacked the Fairy hall. You just let Gajeel and the Element Four tackle Makarov for you. You didn't go looking for me. You didn't even go look for Juvia yourself, you just used your Shades magic! You're like a summoner hiding behind their spirits. You've just been sitting around for hours!"

Jose smirked. "Why should I dirty my own hands on Fairy scum when there are trash willing to do it for me?"

"...what did you just call us?" Lucy said.

"Trash," Jose said, with undisguised pleasure. "Weak, whinging trash, too busy jockeying for position among other mewling trash to ever achieve anything. Easily led-" He stopped there, because Lucy was smiling.

He looked at her. Lucy's smile widened. Jose looked over his shoulder. The loudspeaker lacrima glowed faintly.

Lucy had been practising activating magical items from a distance for a while now.

"How dare you? You little bitch!" Jose wheeled around and blasted the lacrima. It exploded. Lucy ducked to avoid the flying shards. One pierced through Juvia's middle. Another glanced off Erza's breastplate.

The temperature plummeted. Juvia's breath coiled out as mist. The shadows writhed in the corners of the room. Lucy felt sick, almost like being back at Cypress Town when Eiry opened the summoning gate.

"Lucy, please get back! This is dangerous!" Juvia said. Lucy got out of there in a hurry.

* * *

Gajeel stared up at the headquarters. His mouth hung open.

"Your master's an asshole," Natsu said. He was swaying on his feet, feeling the effects of fighting too long without a recharge. Gajeel wheeled on him.

"Shut your fucking mouth!"

Natsu scowled. "He just said he set the whole thing up!"

"No, he didn't! It's your fault! You attacked us first!" Gajeel pointed at the wreckage of the Fairies' guild hall. "And look what you got for it, Salamander! That's your fault!"

"I was only trying to get you to come fight me!" Natsu snapped. "And then you showed up with all your friends in a giant robot! That's cheating!" He brandished a fist at Gajeel.

Gajeel laughed. "Any idiot knows you're not supposed to just jump other guilds' mages!" he said, ignoring the many, many occasions when he'd done just that. "What sort of operation is your master running here? Can't he keep a leash on you bastards?"

Natsu snarled. "Don't you dare insult our old man!"

That hit a nerve, huh?

"We grabbed your master a while back," Gajeel taunted him. "He tried to pull some heroic last stand bullshit and got his ass kicked for it." He grinned. "We're gonna kill the _crap_ out of the old man-"

Natsu roared and charged. "Fire Dragon's Iron Fist!" Gajeel's eyes widened. A white-hot inferno coalesced around Natsu's fist. Flames burst out from between the broken paving stones and trailed in his wake like the tail of a comet.

Gajeel jumped out of the way. Natsu missed, hit the ground so hard it cratered, and rolled over and over.

Shit. Wasn't the kid on the ropes a minute ago? That would have hurt.

If it had_ hit_.

Gajeel laughed like a hyena. "That the best you got, Salamander? You wouldn't last ten seconds in a real guild!"

Natsu dragged himself out of the crater, teeth bared. "A real guild?" He pointed up at the headquarters. "That's not a real guild!"

Gajeel's grin vanished. He kicked Natsu back into the crater. "You better stay down this time if you want out of this in one piece, trash!"

"_You're_ trash," Natsu rebutted wittily.

Gajeel beat the crap out of him. He knocked the other Dragon Slayer down, kicked him savagely in the chest and gut until he was wheezing and spitting blood, and then hauled him off the ground again by the neck of his jacket.

"Still feeling fucking cocky, Salamander?"

"Fairy Tail's a better guild than Phantom'd ever be," Natsu rasped.

Gajeel spiked him into the ground. Natsu cried out, jerked and stopped moving. Gajeel stood there for a second, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, then spat, turned and stomped away.

"Trash," Natsu said, behind him. Gajeel whirled around, shouting. Natsu was unconscious. He wasn't saying anything. Gajeel looked around. The scum – Fairy or Phantom, it didn't matter – were peeking around the corners of buildings and side streets, pale worried faces glowing like targets.

"What, you want to fight?" he demanded. "Come on, then!" He spread his hands wide. "Phantom Lord's Iron Dragon, at your service!"

They only stared.

Gajeel roared and slammed both iron fists into the ground. The stones broke apart. "Stop staring at me!"

* * *

Totomaru was sitting on the roof. His mouth opened and shut. He struggled to find words.

Gray rubbed the back of his own neck and said "Huh. What a douchebag."

"Such a douchebag!" Totomaru agreed fervently. Gray offered him a hand up.

"I'm sorry," Totomaru said, "my mother taught me not to touch strange men with no pants."

* * *

"Double Wave!" Juvia shouted, both hands raised to the ceiling. The twin walls of water that crashed down on Jose drenched him from head to foot but didn't knock him down. Erza spun her spear in her hands.

"Lightning Strike!" Electricity leapt from the point of the spear. Jose redirected it. It lanced through his wet clothes, but didn't touch him. Still limned in crackling yellow light, Jose lifted his hands.

"Shade Entangle!"

More ghost soldiers burst out of the floor and wrapped around Juvia and Erza. Erza fought, but the wraiths bound her arms too tightly and squeezed the air from her lungs. She couldn't get free. Juvia slid out of the tangle, her water body separating and reforming seamlessly as she passed through the wraiths, and slashed at the Shades imprisoning Erza. "Water Slicer!"

The shades came apart, and the arcs of pressurised water broke against Erza's greaves and breastplate. Erza requipped into a different armour, with lacquered black protective plating and two batlike wings extending from her shoulderblades, and as her wings snapped out wide they tore the rest of the Shades off her. She settled into a defensive stance, sword drawn, breathing heavily. "Thank you, Juvia."

"Miss Scarlet is welcome," Juvia said.

"Such admirable persistence," Jose said. His smile widened until it looked as if it would split his head in two. His eyes had gone black from edge to edge, and they glittered with bloodlust. "Yes. You're both women worth killing... Dark Explosion!" He swiped one hand across in front of him, triggering a chain of explosions. The blast caught Erza's wings and flung her high into the air. Juvia was splattered back against the wall. Erza twisted in midair and dived, sword out. She flashed past Jose just as Juvia dragged her body back together and cast Water Slicer.

Jose's Shades wrapped around him like a shield and took the force of the attacks.

Jose took a step back. That was all.

Erza staggered from the momentum and shoved her sweat-damp hair out of her eyes. They weren't making a scratch on him? If she hadn't already lost that fight to Juvia...

Jose brought both hands together. "Shade: Jellyfish!" The wraiths whirling around the audience chamber merged themselves together into a massive amorphous shape with dozens of reaching hands. It grabbed at Juvia. It wound its arms around her legs, her waist, her shoulders. It locked around her like an anaconda. She was barely visible under the mass. There was no space left for her to pour herself through. Juvia shrieked, and the scream was abruptly cut off as the Shade's tendrils closed over her face.

"Juvia!" Erza shouted, and shot past Jose to hack at the massive Shade.

"Dark Explosion!"

The chain of detonations tossed Erza off her feet. She hit the floor and rolled. Her wings crumpled up.

"I must thank you for providing me with so much entertainment," Jose said. He was breathing hard. Blocking their attacks had required more of his power than he had expected. He couldn't stand that one of his most valuable mages would turn on him like that! He couldn't stand that a mage of Erza Scarlet's potential existed in Makarov's guild! "But I've had my fill of you now." He brought one hand back. Dark energy swirled around it. "Dead Wave!" A flood of Shades rushed towards Erza and Juvia.

"Form Mirror!"

A collection of mirrors materialised in front of Juvia and Erza and swallowed up the dark magic. Then it shattered. The dark energy burst free. It shattered the windows, knocked Jose's throne down and tore the plaster from the walls. Jose himself was knocked to the ground.

Sue's eyes rolled back in her head, and she fell. Bozo caught her.

Erza climbed to her feet. Juvia slashed herself free of the jellyfish from inside and shouted "Sue and Bozo must leave! This is a dangerous-"

She looked past them. It wasn't just Bozo and Sue.

Juvia ducked.

The mages of Phantom Lord attacked all at once. Jose threw up a shield of swirling wraiths. Purple needles of energy and bullets that splashed into magical seals as they hit crashed against the shield. It cracked.

"Concrete-Make: Hammer!" one of the Phantom mages shouted, conjuring up a massive warhammer which slammed into Jose's shield. It fractured.

"You wish to die?" Jose roared. "I am your _master_-" The air swirled behind him as a wind mage who had turned her own body into air transformed back. "Wind Blade!"

The attack hit Jose square in the back. His forehead rebounded off his own shield. The shield shattered. He whirled about and blasted the wind mage out of the broken windows.

"How dare you? HOW DARE YOU?"

"Sierra!" Juvia's body boiled. She struck Jose in a raging torrent, rebounded off the wall and hit him again. He was knocked off his feet. His hair was askew and his cape was falling off. He bared his teeth in a snarl. "Juvia, you treacherous-"

There was a blur and Erza appeared beside him, a momentary glimpse of a cheetah-patterned top before that armour dissolved and was replaced by black plate, spikes and a massive spiked club. She swung the club into Jose's stomach, two-handed, and whacked him across the room like she was playing cricket.

"Lucy! Now!"

Jose scrambled to his feet, ashen with fury, face contorted into an animalistic snarl, and Lucy smiled. She was leaning on Caelum in its cannon form. A green light glowed at the end of its barrel. "Caelum! Come on!"

The cannon fired. Jose was blasted with green light. He roared with rage as the energy blast shredded his hasty shield and tore at his defences.

He was the master of Phantom Lord! He was one of the Ten Mage Saints! These upstart children could not be permitted to-

Jose blasted a hole in the floor, and fell.

He fell deep into the bowels of the castle. His Shades whirled around him, trying to break his fall, but it was too late. He hit the floor three storeys down and hauled himself slowly, laboriously to his feet.

His teeth were bared. His eyes were narrowed to slits. Unspeakable. Unforgiveable. He reached for the medallion at his collar that marked him as one of the Ten Mage Saints. He would show them all his power, he would-

The medallion fell to the floor and rolled away, jingling. The clasp had snapped in the fall. Jose scrabbled after it and snatched it up in both hands.

Those ungrateful traitorous filth! How dare they? How dare they? He snarled. He would not tolerate being disrespected like this. He would purge the entire guild of all the traitors, all the uppity weaklings, all the worthless dross. He would destroy all the enemies of his guild.

He would start with Makarov. That would punish the Fairy trash for their insolence. That would show the rest of them that he wouldn't abide this humiliation. Jose limped hurriedly through the corridors towards the prison cells. There would be little time to savour it.

That little _bitch_. She was cheating him of his vengeance. He would kill her slowly for that.

He went down the steps into the dungeon, and stopped. The dozen guards he had set there were all lying on the floor.

No!

He half-ran past the guards. The door to Makarov's cell was still locked and barred -but it was empty. Jose stared through the grille of the door in horror. Someone had taken the old man away and then tidily closed the door behind them. Who had done this? How had the guards allowed this to happen?

The guards weren't dead. They were all only sleeping.

Jose would make them wish they were dead! He blasted them all with dark energy. They jerked and skidded away across the floor.

Above, someone shouted. "Listen! You hear that?"

"The cells!" someone else called back.

Jose looked up. Phantom mages were gathering at the top of the steps, more and more every second, blocking out the light.

Jose's lips skinned back to show all his teeth.

"You treacherous filth," he breathed. "Come on!"

* * *

Some time later, Lucy and Juvia were running through the hallways. Well, walking quickly. Juvia wasn't running anywhere in those heels.

"Does Lucy think Gajeel will be very upset?" Juvia asked worriedly.

"No! Noooo," Lucy lied.

Juvia touched her lower lip. "Then why is Lucy so insistent that Juvia come?"

"We're ganging up on him. I can't be a gang by myself!" Lucy said.

The warp to the ground was still working. When Lucy and Juvia got down there, they stepped out of the shadow of the headquarters, shielded their eyes against the sunset, and saw Gajeel spectacularly flipping out.

"Get out here, trash! What, are you scared to fight me?" he yelled, and swore, and yanked a sharp piece of metal out of the wreckage of the guild hall like he was going to eat it but instead flung it away across the ground. The edges sparked as it skidded over the stone. "Come on!"

Lucy couldn't actually see who he was yelling at. It looked like everyone had sensibly gone far away from the maniac. She couldn't see anyone else around except for Fairy Tail's Dragon Slayer, lying in a heap at the bottom of a crater. Jeez. Was he okay? When she'd told Gajeel to kick his ass, she hadn't meant 'keep kicking after he's passed out'! Now she almost felt bad for him.

"Gajeel!" she called. "Hi!"

Gajeel made a rude gesture at her. "Fuck off!"

"Oi! Is that any way to talk to someone?" Lucy hollered back. "Isn't Jose a jerk?"

"Hey! Shut up!" Gajeel yelled.

"Everybody else thinks so," Lucy said. "They all showed up to kick his ass. Sue, Bozo, everyone."

"Who gives a crap about Sue and Bozo?" Gajeel said, folded his arms and glowered. "What do you mean, everybody?"

"Oh, everybody," Lucy said, and looked at Juvia. "Like, everybody in First Division. It was pretty much unanimous."

"At least thirty-four people. Juvia does not think the medics have finished treating the wounded yet, though," Juvia said. "And Juvia, too! Juvia has decided Master Jose was not a good guild master. HE WAS A LIAR AND JUVIA HOPES THAT HE WILL DIE. Juvia does not want to follow him any more!"

Lucy had leant sharply away and twisted to look at Juvia. Now she raised her hands in a magician's _voila!_ gesture. "Juvia feels very strongly about it! I expect everyone else does too!"

"Well, that's your fault," Gajeel growled.

"Nuh-uh!" Lucy said. "Right, Juvia?"

"Juvia agrees. It was Master Jose's fault!"

Gajeel looked between the two of them. He screwed up his face.

Gajeel was a scary cranky asshole in a guild full of scary cranky assholes. He'd always been louder and angrier and quicker to throw a punch than anyone.

Lucy was taking a gamble, based completely on something Juvia had told her once - _"Juvia worries about Gajeel. She thinks he seems lonely."_

Gajeel took a step towards them, and said "Fuck Jose, then. Who needs him?" He said it carefully, like he was testing it out, and watched them through narrowed eyes for their response.

Lucy exhaled. "Nobody does! Did we tell you he ran straight down to the dungeons? Stupid, right?" She laughed. Juvia chuckled politely, one hand over her mouth. Gajeel forced out a laugh and took another step towards them. Lucy moved aside to make a space between her and Juvia, and Gajeel stomped over to fill it.

"You know, it's been a rubbish day," Lucy said. "Anyone want to go find a drink?"

* * *

A dot appeared over the rooftops of Magnolia and grew larger until it resolved into a blue flying cat. It spiralled down out of the sky and fell onto Fairy Tail's Dragon Slayer. "Natsuuu!"

Natsu cracked one eye open. "I want a rematch," he said.

"Natsu, you can't fight again now!" Happy protested. "Stay here! I'll get you a fish!"

Natsu rolled over and hauled himself up the slope of the crater. Happy grabbed his scarf and tried to drag him back down. Natsu heaved himself over the lip of the crater, looked forward and saw Erza Scarlet's boots. He looked up. Erza Scarlet stared down at him.

Natsu very slowly slid back down into the bottom of the crater. Happy tried to flee. Erza Scarlet's hand flashed out and caught him by the tail.

"Natsu," she said.

Natsu wibbled.

"Erza!" someone called. "Erza!"

Erza's expression changed. She looked up, eyebrows raised, and then tore across the street. "Master! Where did you find him?"

"A man in a hat threw him at me and ran away," Mira said. "It was very odd. But I don't like to complain!"

Makarov was sitting in Elfman's arms, looking comfortable enough although still grey in the face. Most of Fairy Tail were trailing after Elfman and Mira like ducklings. Makarov pointed. "Take me over there!" Elfman obeyed immediately. "Heh, heh. I could get to like this," Makarov said to Erza over one of Elfman's massive shoulders as Elfman carried him towards the ruin of the guild hall. Erza waited tensely. Elfman set Makarov down in front of the wreckage and hovered, because Men didn't let their guild masters fall over on their face. Makarov looked the destruction over.

"So they wrecked our shitty bar? So what," he said. "Cana. Did you get everyone out?"

"Nearly," Cana said, and hung her head. "We left Loke behind by mistake. He's been taken to the hospital now. Alzack, Macao, Wang Chan-Ji and Laki, too, from the fighting after."

"Those brats? They're like roaches. They'll be fine," Makarov said. "You did well, Cana." Cana looked surprised. Makarov lifted his head. "Natsu..."

Natsu scrambled up. Makarov didn't turn around, or say anything. He just sighed and dropped his head. Natsu looked at his back for a moment, and then clambered out of the crater and limped hurriedly into a corner. He locked his hands behind his back and stared at the wall.

"We got pummelled, huh?" Makarov said, and turned around. "That's fine. Human beings are weak by nature, and if we try to pretend that we're not, it makes us even weaker. It's when we accept our weakness, reach out to others, and press on despite all setbacks, that we can become strong. So it doesn't matter if they trashed our shitty bar-" The guild hall Mavis built a hundred years ago and passed onto Purehito, who handed it on to him. Hah, Makarov was just surprised it wasn't one of his own damn kids who did for it. "- because we'll work together to build a better one, and go on living strong together. That's what it means to be a Fairy Tail mage!"

He thrust one hand up to the sky, index finger pointed, and, with a wordless reverberating shout, everyone in Fairy Tail did the same.

Lucy stared down at them. "Did you see that?" She looked sideways at Gajeel and Juvia. They were looking down with the same wide-eyed astonished faces. "They're like a cult!"

"Juvia thinks they look happy," Juvia said, toying with her drink. They were all perched on the edge of the castle's foundation, watching the crowd almost directly underneath them. The bar inside the castle was being thoroughly looted, but Juvia and Gajeel had still managed to acquire a beer, a glass of juice and a sugary pink cocktail with an umbrella in by dint of being Juvia and Gajeel.

"They're mental," Gajeel growled.

"It sounds nice," Lucy said, "but it's way too idealistic! Even though they're like a hundredth the size of Phantom, there's still too many of them for anyone to know everybody else." The Fairies could yell about friendship and team-building exercises all they wanted. Lucy wouldn't trust any of them to actually mean it. How had Fairy Tail managed to last so long if they all made themselves so vulnerable?

"That, and they're mental," Gajeel said.

Juvia looked at Gajeel and Lucy and said "Actually yes Juvia agrees it is a flawed system."

Then a voice boomed out, magically amplified until the ground shook. "Nobody move!" The Fairies looked around, puzzled.

"We are the Magic Council's Enforcement and Investigation Squad! Lay down any weapons in your possession! Anyone who tries to cast a spell will be incapacitated with extreme prejudice!" The street flooded with blue-cloaked, spear-toting Rune Knights, showing up immediately after the nick of time. The Fairies yelled and made to flee on reflex.

"Wait! We've barely done anything wrong this time!" Cana yelled, as their master collapsed into a little puddle of woe.

"Oh," Lucy said. "Maybe instead of getting drinks we should have run away."


	16. Aftermath I

The maid bounced anxiously on her toes. "Are you _sure_ you want to go in dressed like-"

"It's fine. Don't worry," Lucy said. She was wearing her red Heart Kreuz tee and black miniskirt. It felt great to be out of those awful baggy trousers, but her stomach was still doing flips.

She knocked on the door.

"Come in," her father said.

Lucy took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped inside. "Good morning, Father." The study hadn't changed. It had the same heaviness to it: the solid dark wood of the desk, the close-packed books on the bookshelves, the thick velvet curtains, the still air that swallowed her voice.

Her father had been looking out of the window, a black outline against the sunlight, but as Lucy crossed the room to stand in front of his desk he turned around. His eyes widened.

"What's the meaning of this? How dare you bring that sort of people into this house?"

"Water Slicer!" The arc of pressurised water split his desk in half. Lucy's father leapt backwards as the two pieces fell apart. "Juvia will not tolerate such insults!"

Gajeel scowled at Juvia. "What was that? What, you never trashed someone's place before, Lockser? You're meant to pretend it's accidental!"

Ryos nodded agreement. He was halfway through a plate of cookies the catering staff had given him for being small and adorable. There were crumbs all around his mouth.

"Accidental?" Juvia repeated, taken aback. "I see..." She turned back to Lucy's father and wrung her hands. "Juvia is so sorry! Please, allow Juvia to pay for the damage!"

"What? No!" Gajeel said. "Like this, watch!" He scooped up an ornate pen-holder from the desk. "Nice desk-thing you got here, old man. Shame if anything happened to it-" He flung it into the nearest column. The elegant filigree shattered. "Oops! Gihihihi!"

Lucy's father stared, mouth hanging open. "This – Lucy, this is unforgivable! I will summon the Rune Knights if you can't control-"

"What for?" Lucy said. "You wanted me to come home. I've come home. Aren't you pleased to see me?"

"You're behaving like a child," her father snapped. "If you wish to be allowed back into this house, you had best be prepared to grow up, and you can begin by dismissing those thugs and apologising for running away like a petulant infant!"

Juvia raised one hand to cast another Water Slicer. Lucy gestured, and Juvia went still. Gajeel grinned.

"Don't misunderstand me," Lucy said. "I realise that I shouldn't have run away without saying anything, and I am sorry about that, because apparently that wasn't clear enough for you. I'm not staying here."

Her father gaped.

"I don't care about your money, and I'm not interested in being Heartfilia's Lucky Lucy any more. I'm going to walk my own path, and I won't let anyone – not you, not Master Jose – decide what I should do!" She had to stop there to take a deep breath. Gajeel was grinning ear to ear. "If you hadn't tried to have me kidnapped, we could have been more civil," Lucy said. "But it's too late for that. If you ever bother me again, I'm going to take it as a declaration of _war_, and I'll raze every station of Heartfilia Railways and every factory you own to the ground!"

Juvia and Ryos nodded grim approval. Gajeel cackled maniacally.

"I'm holding off now, for Mother's sake, and the sake of all the people who live here," Lucy said, "but I'm sure that if – if Mother were still alive, she would tell me to follow my heart. So this is it. I'm done with you now." She turned towards the door. "Goodbye, Father." She opened the study door and walked away. Juvia stepped back, nodded, said "Mr Heartfilia," and left.

Gajeel held up both middle fingers, and then stomped after them.

Ryos offered Mr Heartfilia the last cookie, to be polite.

"No, thank you," Mr Heartfilia said, so Ryos polished it off, put the empty plate neatly on one of the halves of the desk and scampered after the others.

They left the house and headed down a long broad path away from the house.

"Where are you going? Train station's that way," Gajeel said, and pointed.

"I want to visit my mother's grave," Lucy said.

"Do we have time for that?" Gajeel said. "We're meant to run along to the Judicial Palace by tomorrow morning."

"Gajeel," Juvia said.

Gajeel pulled a face that pretty obviously meant 'what? Her mum isn't getting any deader' but shut up.

Lucy stood quietly in front of the tomb. Gajeel and Juvia hung back. The stone angel with her mother's face smiled down at her blankly. When would she be able to visit her mother's grave again? When her father was buried next to her? Lucy closed her eyes. Leaving the first time had been hard enough...

Sneakers squeaked on the paving slabs as Ryos sidled up beside her. He shot her a sidelong look.

"When people die, do they have to stay wherever you leave their body?" he said eventually, quietly enough that Gajeel and Juvia wouldn't hear. "If they're anywhere, they have to be everywhere. So you wouldn't ever have to be in a special place to mourn them."

Lucy thought about that, and smiled. She reached over and ruffled his hair. "You're cute, Ryos."

Ryos yelped and flattened down his hair again.

"Okay," Lucy said, and breathed in deep. "Should we go?"

"Finally!" Gajeel said. "We got the whole estate to trek across still."

"Oh, this isn't the whole estate, this is just the garden," Lucy said. She pointed. "My father owns all the land up to those mountains."

Juvia, Gajeel and Ryos looked at mile after mile of rolling green fields and forests.

"...Juvia is speechless," Juvia said.

Ryos considered it and then said "Is that practical? When you've got so much, you can't do enough with what you have to justify owning it," because sometimes Ryos thought too much.

IIf the princess's dad comes after her again," Gajeel said, "we should put disguises on and just hand her over. Dibs on a fake beard."

"...Gajeel," Juvia said.

"What? You'd look like crap in a beard, Lockser."

"Gajeel!"

"What?" Gajeel made an annoyed gesture. "She'd just escape again, and we'd have his money!"

Juvia made an exasperated face. Lucy laughed. "Should we go, then?"

They had to go to the Judicial Palace because the Rune Knights hadn't been impressed by anyone's version of what happened, particularly since the Phantom Lord mages hadn't had time to work out if they should lie or not. "So... Fairy Tail kidnapped a Phantom mage, and then Phantom kidnapped a Fairy mage – what, it was the same girl? They kidnapped her back? So where did the giant robot headquarters come in? Also, since when was your headquarters a giant robot? … you know what, you're all guilty of something, we're hauling you all in."

So, basically, everyone with any significant involvement had been smacked with an official summons to court so that the Council could decide what they'd done and how to punish them for it. This meant that they'd had to hire rooms in the Palace, at the price of seven thousand jewels a night. Lucy decided this was a scam.

Jose had been the first one called up to testify, since Makarov was still sick. As another witness, Lucy hadn't been allowed anywhere near the courtroom, but she'd sent her stellar spirit Musca down to perch on the lintel over the door and listen in. Jose ranted and raved about the traitors and the punishments he would inflict on them and held stubbornly on to the lie that Lucy'd wandered out of the Oak Town branch and been kidnapped by the Fairies.

"Eighty percent of witness statements say that you broadcast a confession to the kidnapping across the whole of Magnolia," one of the older councillors said. "How do you explain that?"

"Lies!" Jose said. "They're lying, and they will suffer for it!"

Lucy shivered. She was due to be questioned that afternoon. Over the lunch hour, she went walking outside on the great balcony that ran all around the outside of the upper palace. She was trying to get her thoughts in order, and worrying that as soon as they started asking her questions she would forget everything and lose the ability to speak and probably dribble on her top. She was wearing her blue miniskirt, a white sweater and her pink blouse; serious but also super-cute. Maybe _too_ cute?

Lucy was chewing over that when she realised that there were other people outside, as well. Lucy stopped dead when she saw them. Erza Scarlet and Councillor Siegrain were standing close to the railing and closer to each other. She stood perfectly still. He was mesmerised by a lock of her red hair wound between his fingers, but his other hand was locked tight around one of her wrists.

Lucy's first response was to back away slowly and quietly, but sadly that was exactly when Councillor Siegrain clocked her. He started. Erza whirled around.

"I'm sorry!" Lucy said, backing away. "I didn't know you were-"

"We're not friends," Erza cut in.

Lucy was about to say that yeah 'friends' didn't look like what was going on there, but then she realised that would be suicide.

"We have people in common, that's all," Siegrain said lightly. Erza's mouth set into a hard line. "You'll have to forgive Erza for interrupting; she wasn't raised in a household that valued manners." He was still holding onto her wrist. "You're Lucy Heartfilia, right?"

"Um, yes," Lucy said, "but I prefer Lucy Ashley now."

"And you can legally change that once you're eighteen!" Siegrain said brightly. "Are you worried about your testimony? You shouldn't be. You're in no danger. The old fucks are trying to pin as much blame on Fairy Tail as possible. That's why they've called this trial in such a rush, when Makarov's still at home in a blanket cocoon." He smiled. "Erza, you're going to owe Yajima ten tons of ramen if he can get you out of this one." Erza didn't say anything. She was looking at Siegrain with an expression of absolute loathing, but she didn't even move.

"Erza didn't do anything wrong," Lucy said.

"Of course she didn't!" Siegrain agreed, looking astonished by the very notion. "Erza's a _slave_ to her conscience-"

Erza yanked her wrist from Siegrain's grip and swung her hand back as if she was going to slap him, and he smiled. He just smiled, because of course he would only be a thought projection and there was nothing she could do to him.

Erza dropped her hand back to her side, spun on her heel and marched away.

Lucy took a careful step backwards, trying not to look like she was backing up. Something about this was sending prickles all up and down her spine. Siegrain switched his attention back to her. "Anyway, like I said – it'll be fine! See you later, Miss Heartfilia!"

And then the utter, utter _bastard_ munched popcorn all through her testimony. Lucy mentally crossed him off her Guys To Ever Consider Dating list, four times, thick black mental lines, and scribbled NO all over his picture. Then she went to the bar.

The bar had been totally colonised by Fairies. Maybe Fairy Tail's tiny cult leader maintained his power by exploiting his mages' crushing dependency on booze? Well, she was only going to grab a lemonade, go back to the room she was sharing with Juvia, and pick over the trial until they both fell asleep. She wasn't going to be intimidated out of that by fairy butts.

As she leant over the bar, waiting to get the barman's attention, a young orange-haired man wearing a green jacket and sunglasses indoors slid up beside her.

"Wow, you're beautiful," he said. "Would you let me buy you a drink?"

Lucy didn't pass up free stuff from cute guys, but something was bugging her about this cute guy in particular. She had seen him before. Where had she seen him before?

Oh. He was Loke, _Weekly Sorceror_'s Official Most Eligible Bachelor, and he was also the Fairy Tail mage that Gajeel had beaten like a piñata.

_Awkward._

He realised at the same time. "Oops – you're the Iron Dragon's girlfriend, right?" He stepped away, hands raised. "Forget I said anything!"

"No! No no no! Noooo!" Lucy said. "Nooooo. No. Why does everyone assume I'm dating Gajeel? I'd rather date a troll!" A troll would have better table manners.

"Maybe," Loke said, "it's just too hard to believe that love wouldn't come to such a beautiful girl." Lucy stared at him. "You're so radiant, it's lucky I'm wearing sunglasses. If I tried to look at you without them, I might be struck blind," Loke told her earnestly.

"...Right," Lucy said, and then Erza shouted "What did you say?"

For a moment Lucy thought Erza was criticising Loke's pick-up lines, but when she turned she saw that Erza was standing over a big guy with spiky yellow hair.

"Who's that idiot?" she said under her breath. "Someone should shut him up and teach him how to wear a coat." Seriously, his coat was just draped over his shoulders, it looked like it would blow off in a high wind.

"That's Laxus," Loke said. Oh. Crap.

"Didn't you hear me?" Laxus said. "Listen harder – this guild doesn't need weak shits!" He turned and looked at Loke. "Getting your ass kicked by Phantom – how embarassing. Are you good for anything except posing for magazines and screwing around in bars?"

"Laxus, stop it!" Mirajane said. She was sitting cross-legged on the bar. The barman didn't seem pleased about it. "You didn't participate and it's settled now."

Laxus laughed. "Of course it doesn't concern me, but if I'd been there I wouldn't have been used as a football – what's the old man thinking? Recruiting weaklings and Eisenwald cast-offs? Must be the old age getting to him-"

"Laxus!" Natsu roared, and attacked, fists blazing. Laxus grinned. Erza moved faster. She punched Natsu in the gut and grabbed his head tight under her arm.

"Natsu, stop it! Laxus, the acting master told you to be quiet. Be quiet!"

"What?" Laxus scrunched up his face. "Mira got neutered. She can't be 'acting master' of shit."

"She reawakened Satan Soul during the war and the master put her in charge while he's ill," Erza said shortly. Mirajane reached down behind her and produced a short staff with a smiley face at one end. Laxus gaped. Lucy could only assume that was Fairy Tail's official sceptre of office.

What the hell was wrong with all of them?

"I don't care!" Laxus exploded. "I'm not following anyone weaker than me, and I'm not giving up my position to anyone – not Mira, not Erza, not Mystogan or the old geezer!" Natsu was going crazy trying to attack someone in the actual bar of the Magic Council's Judicial Palace. Erza knocked him flat and put a knee on his back.

"Mystogan took out their subdivisions and got the master back," Cana snapped. "The only one who didn't help was you!"

"I don't care!" Laxus yelled loudly. "And if that bastard ever grows the balls to fight me then I will put him in his fucking place!"

Lucy raised a hand. "Excuse me, I have a question," she said. "Where's Mystogan's place?"

Everyone looked at her. "What?" Laxus said.

"Mystogan's place. Where's that located? Geographically?"

"_Under me_!" Laxus snapped.

There was a moment of silence. Lucy very slowly cranked up one eyebrow. The Fairies let out a startled peal of laughter. Laxus realised what he'd said, and an angry red flush flared across his cheekbones. The white scar over his eye stood out starkly.

"Run," Loke said.

"He can't attack me," Lucy pointed out. "I'm technically a civilian, and we're _in_ the-" The air smelled of ozone and the hair on the back of her neck was standing up.

"Run!" Loke shouted, and yanked her off her stool. They ran for it. Lightning crashed behind them. The barman dived for cover. The bar shattered and there was a volley of loud cracks as the bottles behind it exploded.

"Laxus!" Erza shouted. She leapt off Natsu and flung herself between Laxus and Lucy and Loke to clear their escape. Lucy and Loke shot out of the bar and tore through a labyrinth of identical corridors.

"In here!" He pulled her into a broom cupboard and slammed the door behind them. Lucy stumbled over a bucket. It fell to the floor with a clang. Lucy yelped and covered her head. They stood silently in the dark, listening.

"Why are we hiding?" Lucy whispered. She was trembling. "Is he going to come after us?" What a psycho! What a total psycho!

"Probably?" Loke said. "It might not help. I'm pretty sure Laxus can track people he doesn't like by smell. Like a bloodhound."

Lucy made another mental addition to her list of People Not To Date Ever and said "...so why did you pull me in here?"

"Oh no, you caught me. I just like to get pretty girls into cupboards," Loke said.

Lucy didn't think there was enough space for her to elbow him in the ribs. She shifted experimentally and a broom fell down. It clattered loudly against the bucket she'd tripped on earlier. They both froze until they were sure nobody would fling the door open and fry them both with lightning.

Loke was stooping so his head wouldn't knock on the ceiling and Lucy was almost jammed into his chest. She could feel his ribs rise and fall with every breath. This was a really awkward situation.

"I'm sorry about Gajeel," she said, and then cursed herself for it because it wasn't like she was Gajeel's babysitter.

"Don't worry about that," Loke said, and chuckled. It was an odd sound, without any mirth in it. Lucy frowned. "It was my own fault, anyway. I'm not well."

"That's not your fault," Lucy said. She peered up at him. In the dim light seeping around the edges of the door, he was ghastly pale and the shadows under his eyes looked like bruises. Lucy tried to edge away subtly, in case it was contagious, but was hampered by being stuck in a broom cupboard. "If you're that sick, why are you here? Shouldn't you be at home?"

"It wouldn't matter," Loke said bleakly. "I haven't got long left, whatever I do."

Lucy looked up at him, aghast. He couldn't possibly mean...? Her voice quavered. "You're _dying_?"

Loke burst out laughing. "Oh, man. You fell for that?"

Lucy stared.

"It's a trick I use on girls to get sympathy cuddles," Loke said. "Surprised?"

"I hate that sort of joke!" Lucy shouted, and clawed herself free of the cupboard. She didn't even care if Laxus showed up. If he did, she'd bite his head off! She spun in the corridor and snatched her keys from her belt.

"You're a stellar spirit mage?" Loke said. "Oh." Now he looked worried. "I didn't see your keys under your jumper." He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and looked for an escape route. "I don't do well with stellar spirit mages..."

"You're about to do worse," Lucy snapped. "Open, Gate of the Bull! Taurus!"

Taurus materialised in a burst of starlight and with a shout of "Miss Lucy's rack is the-" And then he stopped.

"Taurus! Hit him!" Taurus hesitated. Why? Because he wasn't armed? Taurus was looking down at Loke, whose mouth had fallen open. "He's a total jerk!" Lucy said. "Taurus!"

"Taurus," Loke said coldly, "do as your master tells you."

Taurus smacked him into the wall. He slid down it and landed in a heap at the bottom.

"Thanks, Taurus!" Lucy said. Taurus didn't say anything. She frowned. "Are you okay?" He nodded. Lucy spun her keys in her hand. "Taurus, go back!"

He vanished.

Ugh. He was being a jerk, wasn't he? He was asking for a slap, and Lucy couldn't slap hard enough by herself.

Also, Lucy had never even got that drink. She was going to find Juvia.

* * *

Early the next morning, Sue and Bozo showed up at Lucy and Juvia's door with the day's schedule. (Bozo had a terrible weakness for organising.) Lucy leant in the doorway and yawned as she flicked through it. They wanted Gajeel and Juvia that day. Gajeel's testimony would be... interesting. She was so going to send Musca to watch that. Lucy turned the page. "Who are Charles and Susandrea van der Bozenstein? Poor them!"

"Are you saying we have stupid names?" Bozo said.

"Because you would be right. We do have stupid names," said Sue.

"Oh. You know, you can change that when you're eighteen," Lucy said.

"...I'm twenty-seven," said Bozo.

"Oh man, I'm gonna!" Sue said. "Susannah von der Murderface, that'll be me." Lucy giggled.

"Hey!" someone yelled. All three of them looked around.

There was a Fairy storming towards them down the corridor. Bikini top, long brown hair - "Cana!" Lucy said. The one who was in charge when there weren't any better options. "What does she want?"

"There aren't any Fairies on this corridor, are there?" Sue said.

"It's actually standard policy to put people who have recently been trying to kill each other on opposite sides of the building. Funny, that," Bozo said, and then he and Sue took a step back as the angry Fairy reached them. She was glaring at Lucy.

"What do you want?" Lucy said.

"What did you do with Loke?"

Lucy shifted and put her hand on her keys. "He was rude, so I asked one of my spirits to give him a smack. That's it."

"He ran off with you, came back this morning and announced that he was leaving the guild!" Cana snapped. "Why'd he do that?"

"How am I supposed to know that?" Lucy demanded. "Why don't you ask him?"

Cana threw her hands out wide. "Because he's vanished!"

"So you think I – what? Seduced him into quitting?" Lucy demanded. Killed him and stashed the body? She reached for her whip.

"Yeek!" Sue and Bozo dived back out of the way as Lucy lashed out. Cana leapt backwards, and the whip cracked in air instead of against her calves. Cana reached into her bag.

"Shuriken Cards!" She flung the handful of cards at Lucy. Lucy ducked. Most lanced over her head, but two opened up long slices across her shoulder and hip. "Ow!" She shook it off and drrew her whip back for another strike. It cracked against the ceiling. There wasn't enough space to swing it, or Caelum. Lucy dropped the whip and reached for her keys. "Open, Gate of the Crab! Cancer!"

Cancer appeared in a flash of starlight, scissors raised. He glanced at Cana. "_Another_ fight?"

"Yeah!" Lucy said, and pointed at Cana. "Give her a stupid haircut!"

Cana drew another three cards from her bag. "Sexy Lady Card!" She threw them at Cancer. The cards exploded into beautiful women not wearing very many clothes at all, who locked their arms tight around Cancer.

"Form an orderly line if you all want your hair done today, -ebi," Cancer said, and vanished under a tide of gorgeous women.

Lucy wailed. "Cancer, go back!" The pile of women collapsed inwards. This wasn't working! Why was she being accused of doing something to Loke anyway? Was he framing her? She needed to find out what was going on, not brawl with people in the middle of the Judicial Palace!

"Lucy!" Juvia appeared in the doorway, still in her frilly nightgown. "Is something wrong?"

"She's saying I did something to that Loke guy!" Lucy shouted. "So I'm going to find him and kill him until he says I didn't!"

Juvia gasped, and then nodded. "Then please, go! Juvia will deal with this!"

Lucy raced past Juvia back into their rented room. There was a great plate-glass window above the couch, looking out on a six-story drop to bare rock.

"Open, Gate of the Chisel, Caelum! Sword Form!" Lucy smashed the glass out with Caelum and leapt through the window. Caelum transformed instantly into its Flight Form and, as Lucy began to fall, brought her up with a jerk that nearly tore her hands off Caelum's ring. Caelum buzzed off towards the train station, with Lucy still swinging underneath. Lucy looked at the rocky ground passing fifty feet below and called "Can we go down a bit lower, please?"

Upstairs, Juvia swiped a hand through the air. "Water Slicer!"

Cana dropped flat and the razor-edged arcs passed over her head. She fumbled a trio of cards from her bag and brandished them in front of her. "Icicle!" A volley of ice bullets erupted from the cards and lanced towards Juvia. They passed harmlessly through Juvia's body and shattered against the shield behind her.

Juvia blinked and turned to look behind her.

"Stop this immediately! Fighting in the Judicial Palace will _not be tolerated_!"

"...Yes. Juvia will surrender," Juvia said.

Cana scowled at the Rune Knight lieutenant and his two subordinates. "This isn't anything to do with you!"

"This building is the property of the Magic Council. That makes it our concern," the lieutenant said. "What happened here?" He looked at Juvia. Juvia briefly forgot how to speak. Oh no! Was she somehow ill? This pitter-pattering in her chest- oh no! Why was she still wearing her nightgown? Juvia clutched at the hem of her nightdress and tried to pull it down further. Oh no! He would think she was some sort of scarlet woman!

"Our friend Loke quit the guild and ran off suddenly," Cana snapped. "Lucy Heartfilia was the last person who talked to him, so I came to find out what she'd done and they both jumped me!" She made an expansive exasperated gesture.

The lieutenant shot her a suspicious look. "Are you inebriated?" he said, as Juvia hurriedly changed into her normal outfit.

"No, ossifer!" Cana said. "... okay, I might be drunk now, but tomorrow-" She raised a finger. "-tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a dickhead cop."

"...caution her. Public intoxication," the lieutenant said over his shoulder to his subordinates. They moved in. Juvia nearly swooned. So authoritative! Juvia's heart was not ready for this!

"Where is Miss Heartfilia now?" the lieutenant asked her.

"Lucy has not done anything!" Juvia squeaked, between her fingers. "Lucy is not at all a murderous person!" This ringing endorsement did not seem to impress anyone.

"...no charges of murder have been brought against Miss Heartfilia," the lieutenant said. "It's merely to clarify the situation."

"Um... Juvia is not sure." Juvia poked the tips of her fingers together. "Juvia thinks that Lucy meant to find the man who has left Fairy Tail and politely discuss the situation with him, but she doesn't know where Lucy went after she jumped out of the window."

The lieutenant did a double-take. "Jumped out of the-" He took a couple of steps forward and looked over Juvia's shoulder. The curtains billowed in the breeze through the broken window. His expression changed. Oh no! His employers' building had been damaged! What should Juvia do?

"Juvia is very sorry! She will pay for the damage!"

"Thank you very much," the lieutenant said, with an air of fatality, and turned away. "This disappearance will have to be followed up."

Juvia clasped her hands together. "Juvia would like very much to come with you!"

The lieutenant hesitated, searching for a polite way to refuse. "That would be highly irregular-" Did he not want Juvia to come because he was inviting another woman?

"Please! Lucy is Juvia's very dear friend and she is sure that Lucy has done nothing wrong. She will not allow anyone to accuse Lucy falsely!"

"Do you have any business in connection with the trial today?"

Juvia didn't think so. Wasn't her testimony tomorrow? The lieutenant's deep violet eyes were very distracting. "No," she said.

The lieutenant sighed a little. "I suppose you could be helpful. If you promise not to interfere."

Juvia clapped her hands. "Juvia will be on her best behaviour! Juvia is very happy to work with-" She trailed off. The lieutenant extended a hand.

"Lahar, Fourth Custody Enforcement Squad. It's a pleasure."

* * *

Ryos slid back under the door and shifted out of his shadow form. Gajeel was still asleep, having apparently not noticed the noisy battle going on outside.

"Boss?"

Gajeel cracked an eye open. "What?"

Ryos hung back, ready to duck. "Someone accused Lucy of murdering someone and Juvia's gone to investigate it with a Rune Knight."

"So? Heartfilia hasn't murdered crap," Gajeel said, rolled back over and covered his head with a pillow.

* * *

"Open, Gate of the Lure! Andromeda!"

Andromeda materialised as a short, plump woman, rosy-cheeked and soft around the edges. She turned towards the ticket office. "Madou? Madou!" Her voice rose to a roar. "_Get out here_!"

The ticketseller poked his head out around the door. "Sayra, my love, is that you?"

"Don't you 'my love' me!" Andromeda shouted. "Get over here!"

The ticketseller hurriedly obeyed. "Whatever it is, I'm very sorry-"

As soon as his back was turned, Lucy darted out of hiding and slid through the window into the ticket office. The train station for the Judicial Palace kept records of everyone who arrived and departed that wasn't actually employed by the Council; Lucy knew that because they had all had to sign it when they arrived. The logbook, a huge tome bound in red leather, was lying on the desk. Lucy licked her fingers and flicked through to the last page. Loke was the last person to leave.

_Loke (no last name given, 'no last name needed' he says, pretentious twerp), mage of Fairy Tail, departed 7.42 a.m. for Marigold Town._

Marigold? Lucy knew that one, because it wasn't far from Oak Town. It was where Blue Pegasus were based. Blue Pegasus would be the exact perfect guild for a good-looking womaniser, Lucy thought sourly.

She dropped the book, hurriedly printed herself out a ticket and clambered back out of the window. Andromeda was screaming something about the ticketseller not respecting her.

"I respect you! I respect you so much," he said. "Please stop shouting at me!"

"Gate of the Lure, close," Lucy said. Andromeda melted. The ticketseller yelped. Lucy scrambled onto a bench, onto a bin and hauled herself onto the roof of the waiting room a moment before he came back into the station. The ticketseller realised pretty quickly that someone had played a trick on him, and hunted around for them, but being obviously a straightforward young man without much imagination, he didn't check the roof. Lucy waited until the next train came in and a horde of Palace employees poured out. As soon as the ticketseller was distracted checking IDs, she scrambled down and hopped onto the train as quickly as possible. She crouched under the window as the train pulled out.

Was Loke really just dumping Fairy Tail – Lucy remembered what Siegrain had said, 'those old geezers are trying to pin as much blame on Fairy Tail as they can' – and trying to get into another guild? But why now? Why not wait until the trial was over? Was it to get away from Laxus? He seemed like the type who bore grudges. But if it was that, wouldn't the other Fairies know? And the Fairies were so clannish, of course they would back Loke up if Laxus was trying to get rid of him.

Was it something to do with his weird thing about stellar spirit mages? Was it something to do with her?

Lucy scowled and flopped into a seat. She reached for her keys. "Open, Gate of the Bull! Taurus!"

* * *

The official lobby of the Judicial Palace was a great hall, filled with swarming people. Rune Knights, coming in to start the day shift or dragging themselves home after a long night; administrators in smart suits; brightly-coloured amphibians and the cleaning staff in drab grey uniforms. Nearly two thousand people worked in the Judicial Palace every day.

Most of them hopped aside as Lahar strode towards the doorman. Employees would check in and out with special lacrima-tagged IDs. Anyone else who went out or came in had to be recorded in the book. The Judicial Palace's bureaucracy was like a spider's web; it was impossible to go anywhere without touching a thread. Every movement within the palace was tracked.

"Loke, previously of Fairy Tail. Did he go out this morning?"

"Let me check," the doorman said, and reached for his notebook. "Hmm. Yes. Loke of Fairy Tail, left at twenty past seven this morning. Said he was going out for a cigarette. Hasn't come back yet."

"Why did you not report it?" Lahar said sharply.

The doorman shrugged. "Maybe he had a lot of cigarettes to get through. Maybe he's admiring the scenery? It's nine in the morning, lieutenant, relax a little."

"The security of the Judicial Palace is a serious matter," Lahar snapped. "Regardless of the time of day, it's your responsibility to keep track of visitors and report suspicious activity! Either do your job, or be court-martialled!"

The doorman blanched.

"So strict!" Juvia gasped, and swooned onto the floor, hearts bursting from her eyes.

Lahar looked around, and then down. "Ms Lockser?" He frowned. "Are you all right?"

"Juvia tripped," Juvia said. Lahar helped her to her feet.

"Lucy was definitely not doing anything evil at twenty past seven! We were eating breakfast," Juvia said. "It was toast and melon."

"Can anyone else verify that? Miss Heartfilia's presence, not the menu."

Juvia thought. "Lucy's spirit Serpens?"

"Excluding Miss Heartfilia's own property," Lahar said.

Juvia thought harder, and brightened up. "Oh! The man who brought the room service!"

"That should do," Lahar said.

Juvia clasped her hands together. "So Lucy is not guilty of murder?"

"Miss Heartfilia was never actually charged with murder," Lahar said, which Juvia took as a yes. Hurray! "The most reasonable assumption, then, would be that Mr Loke is merely jumping ship. Still, it is not permitted to leave a trial for which you are a witness without proper authorisation!"

"What an awful thing to do!" Juvia agreed fervently.

"Mr Loke will have to be tracked down," Lahar said.

"Yes! Arrest him!" Juvia said, and clapped her hands. "Send him to prison forever! May Juvia still help?"

* * *

Someone rapped on Gajeel's door. He hauled himself out of bed, grabbed the mug of coffee (with a sprinkle of iron filings) that Ryos had left on the nightstand, drained it and slouched to the door. Ryos had his nose in a book, as usual. Weird little brat. _His_ weird little brat, though.

When Gajeel opened the door, there was a pair of Rune Knights on the other side.

"Gajeel Redfox? You're wanted for testimony," one of them said. "You can get dressed first, if you like."

Whatever, he had pants on, and he could knock this testimony crap out in ten minutes. He reached to shut the door behind him, and stopped.

Wait. Lockser'd eloped with a Rune Knight or something. And Ashley'd killed someone? Gajeel didn't really remember anything he heard before ten in the morning. Good for Ashley, anyway. But Lockser probably wasn't gonna be back to testify any time soon, and she'd be in trouble if they showed up to take her to her thing and she wasn't there.

He'd have to stall.

"Nooo," he said. "Nope. I'm going for a drink instead."

* * *

"Open, Gate of the Bull! Taurus!"

Taurus appeared, sitting opposite Lucy, and wriggled until his axe wasn't digging into his back. His horns scraped the ceiling. "Miss Lucy! Your body just gets more and more incredible every-"

"I know," Lucy cut him off. Taurus looked at her face. He shut up. "You know that guy, don't you? I can't believe I didn't realise!"

"No!" Taurus said. "I never saw him before in my life! Never! Loke? Loke who?"

"How do you know his name, then?" Lucy said.

Taurus made an 'oops' face.

"What's his thing about stellar spirit mages?" Lucy said. If he was setting her up, that would have to be why.

"I can't just tell you what happened. It would be _moo_st rude!" Taurus said. "_Moo_de!"

"Taurus, I have been chased out of the Judicial Palace, I have had to jump out of a window, this guy might be framing me for his murder," Lucy said. "Tell me anything you can. Please."

Taurus mooed plaintively. "The stellar spirit mage who caused the trouble was Karen... Lily-something. From Blue Pegasus." He brightened up and added "_Great_ body..."

Karen Lilica? Lucy knew about her, she'd been a famous mage who died on a mission a few years ago. She'd never held Taurus's key, though. Lucy had seen a record of his owners going back fifty years. He'd never belonged to anyone from Blue Pegasus. How could Taurus have met Loke?

"You can't tell me how you met Loke?"

Taurus shook his head.

Lucy wriggled deeper into her seat, and thought. Who would a zodiac key really get to-

Light dawned. Her mouth opened and closed again. "Okay. I got it," she said. "Is he really dying?"

Taurus nodded.

"Are you upset about that? All of you, I mean?"

Taurus nodded, but more slowly.

"So what can I do about it?" Lucy said.

"You can't," Taurus said.

* * *

A/N: I'm considering extending this fic up to the end of the Oracion Seis arc, because I think there may still be some minor differences between those arcs in canon and how they would work out in this AU. But emphasis on 'considering', because it would take a bajillion years to get written. Like a bajiiilllliiooonn years.


	17. Aftermath II

"Excuse Juvia!"

The ticketseller looked up and frowned. "What does that even mean?"

"We are looking for a mage who has recently left the Judicial Palace. His name is Loke. He has orange hair and bad manners," Juvia said. "Immediately consult your logbook and tell us where he has gone!"

The ticketseller looked past her and spotted Lahar, standing back and watching Juvia with sudden surprised interest. He got his logbook. "Loke? Fairy Tail mage? Left at seven-forty-two for Marigold Town."

"Did anyone leave after him?"

"Nobody without an ID. A couple legal secretaries came in to visit the library."

So Lucy had not been there? Or Lucy had gone on the train without buying a ticket. Oh dear. Juvia hoped very much Lieutenant Lahar would not find out about that!

"Did Mr Loke show you his authorisation papers when you sold him his ticket?" Lahar asked.

The ticketseller looked at Lahar, considered lying and then realised Lahar already knew the answer. "...no?" He rallied. "He already got out the main doors! How would he do that without the right papers?"

Lahar turned away and pinched the bridge of his nose. None of his colleagues were meeting his own neurotically high standards today.

"You are terrible," Juvia said sternly to the ticketseller, "and you should be court-martialled." The ticketseller wilted like a sad flower. Juvia looked hopefully at Lahar to see if that cheered him up. It did, a little. He sighed and switched his attention back to the ticketseller.

"Have you seen anything of interest this morning?"

"No! Nothing suspicious has occurred," the ticketseller said. "Everything has been fine and normal. Dandy, even."

"Good," Lahar said. "We will be travelling to Marigold Town. Please arrange this."

'We?' That included Juvia! Juvia did a happy little dance, and then stopped quickly when Lahar turned to her. "Is there anyone you would like to notify before leaving? A spouse, a non-gender-specific romantic partner?"

"No, Juvia does not have those things," Juvia said, and poked her fingers together. Why was he asking? Was it because he secretly despised her and planned to kill them to make her unhappy?! Juvia drooped.

* * *

There was a loud scuffling from outside. The nine councillors looked up. Belno put away her crossword and Leiji stashed his newspaper under his seat. Siegrain and Ultear continued playing Hangman. The others regarded them with stern disdain. This had no effect whatsoever.

The huge double doors of the court room slammed back and Gajeel was shoved in by a dozen Rune Knights. They had him trapped in a containment sphere, and however much he yelled and hit out, the bubble bent but didn't break. The Rune Knights pushed him into the witness box and hurriedly activated the wards. Walls of dim green light stretched from the floor to the ceiling all around the witness box.

He didn't stand a chance. Siegrain and Ultear had spent long enough playing around with the dock, and it took both of _them_ a little over two minutes to escape. Bloody kids, always poking around trying to find holes in their defenses.

"I had a beer!" Gajeel shouted after the departing Rune Knights. "Where's my beer?" He spun around and glared at the Council. "What do you lot want?"

"Thank you for coming," Org said. The irony sailed gracefully over Gajeel's head. "It is the request of this court that you describe the events of the war between Phantom Lord and Fairy Tail in your own words."

"What do you mean, my own words?" Gajeel demanded. "Do you expect me to make up a language to talk about it in?"

Org's left eyelid twitched. "No, that means without copying what someone else has said. The court has heard accounts of the conflict from several witnesses already. We would like to hear your own version of events."

"Right," Gajeel said, and scratched the back of his neck. "Well, Lockser told me the Fairies'd grabbed Ashley on Tuesday night. Tuesday morning I got up, I ate some toast and a chunk of I-beam, I brushed my teeth-"

The councillors stared.

"Wait, maybe I brushed my teeth before I ate breakfast," Gajeel said.

* * *

"Good afternoon, Master Bob," Lahar said. "We're looking for a mage named Loke and have reason to think he may have come here. Have you seen him?"

Juvia hung back and looked around. This was a very... polished guild hall. Showy. Shiny parquet floor, shiny hardwood surfaces, vases of flowers and leather sofas with skinny stylish mages lounging on them. Master Bob, in contrast, was a plump old bald man in pink shorts, cleaning out a glass behind the bar. "Loke? Hmmm... no, he's visited here before, but not recently. Sorry I can't be more help. Shall I tell him you were here, if he comes by?"

"That won't be necessary," Lahar said.

"Huh? Wouldn't Loke have gone to Karen's grave? That's where he usually goes," someone said. Lahar and Juvia both looked around. A brown-skinned girl with huge sky-blue eyes and star patterns all over her kimono had flopped down over the bar. "Master, can I get a glass of water? My throat's all dry from singing."

"Who was Karen?" said Lahar.

"Karen Lilica, of course," the girl said, and frowned. "She died a few years ago. There was an investigation and everything."

"Urania, honey, drink your water," Master Bob said, and shoved a glass at her face.

"Where is her grave located?" Juvia said.

"Oh, dear! That's completely slipped my mind," Master Bob said.

"It's on the sticky-out bit by the waterfall, Master," Urania said, bemused. "If you go left out of the door, and down the street with the cars in, then you'll start seeing signs for the waterfall. Or you could ask anyone. Everyone knows where the waterfall is!"

"Thank you very much," Lahar said.

"Maybe Loke killed Miss Lilica, and now he's gone to her grave to kill himself in repentance," Juvia said.

"That's theoretically possible," Lahar said politely, and they left.

Once the door had closed behind them, Master Bob shot Urania a look. She yelped and fell backwards off her stool.

"Really," he said, exasperated. "Let the poor boy go in peace."

* * *

Lucy had to ask half a dozen people for directions to Karen Lilica's grave before she found someone who said "Oh, that's by the waterfall! Don't you know where the waterfall is?"

"No. Point me at the waterfall," Lucy said. It would have been easier if she could have summoned Misha and Boo to track him out of the station, but she was tired already (she shouldn't have spent so long arguing with Taurus) and she didn't know what she was getting into. She didn't really expect to find Loke standing griefstruck in front of Karen Lilica's grave, but if there was some sort of clue -

He was totally standing griefstruck in front of Karen Lilica's grave. Before him, a vast sheet of water crashed to the rocks below. The wind flung fine spray into Lucy's face.

"Leo!" Lucy shouted, and the Lion of the Zodiac looked around. His eyes went huge and alarmed when he saw her, but after a moment he remembered he was dead already. He smiled wryly.

"You're something, to be able to figure out my secret."

"I'm a stellar spirit mage who's made many contracts with all sorts of spirits. Also, it was an anagram, you aren't all that subtle," Lucy said. "Karen Lilica was your summoner, wasn't she?"

"She was my master," Loke confirmed sadly.

"Then what went wrong?" Lucy said. "When a summoner dies, it breaks all their contracts and their spirits go back to the stellar spirit world. Karen's dead. Why are you still here when it's _killing you_? Spirits can't survive that long in the human world!"

Loke's faint wry smile hadn't faded. "I've lasted three years. That's better than I expected."

"Three years! I wouldn't have believed anyone could last one!"

"Are you impressed?" The shadow of a grin flickered across his face. "But I'm done now. I can't hold up any longer."

"Why are you being so casual about this?" Lucy demanded. "Don't you care that you're dying? The rest of my spirits are mourning for you, you know!"

Loke winced. "I'm sorry about that. Really I am. I never meant to hurt any of them. But there's nothing that can be done about it."

"Why not?"

"I've been exiled. Forever," Loke said. "I broke the sacred bond between a summoner and their spirits." He lifted his chin. "It was me who killed Karen."

For a moment, Lucy thought she hadn't heard him right, over the thunder of the waterfall. "_You_ killed her?"

"A spirit who kills their summoner can't ever be allowed back into the spirit world," Loke said. He turned back to the grave. "So I'll just fade away, right here."

"No," Lucy said. "I don't believe you. I don't believe you killed her."

Loke looked around. "You don't?"

"No! I don't think my spirits would be so upset about you dying if you'd bludgeoned your summoner to death with a spade," Lucy said. "What happened?"

Loke turned back to the grave. "It was three years ago. Karen was one of Blue Pegasus's best mages, and she'd modelled for Weekly Sorceror; she had a pretty big fanclub. She held Aries's key as well as mine, and when she got tired of the guys following her around all the time, she'd call Aries out to entertain them instead. Or she'd summon Aries to make her clean her flat, or, or to use as a shield in a fight. Master Bob reprimanded her, and Karen blamed Aries for it. She meant to punish Aries by making her stay in the human world for a week."

Lucy gasped. Loke carried on.

"So I came out and took Aries's place." He sighed. "I was much stronger back then, and I could handle Karen's tantrums, but I was worried about Aries. I told Karen that I wanted her to give up Aries' key and mine, and that I was going to stay there until she did. She couldn't summon any other spirits with me drawing on her magic, but I used my own power to keep myself in the human world after her magic was exhausted. So I went to some ruins outside of Marigold Town and stayed there."

Lucy would have sat herself down in Blue Pegasus's bar, drunk lemonade and told everyone nasty things about Karen. Or hit her. Was Loke just too _nice_?

"After ten days, Karen came and told me I was being stupid and I couldn't survive much longer. After a few weeks, she tried to convince me that she would stop hurting Aries if I gave up, but I didn't believe her, so she threw another tantrum and left." He swallowed. "She didn't come back after that. After another couple of months, I decided to give her another chance – I thought she must have learned her lesson by then, and I thought that if she kept mistreating Aries then I could just step in again. That was when I went back into town, and heard that Karen had been killed. Supposedly, it was on a mission."

Lucy stared at him, speechless.

"Because of me, Karen wasn't able to call out any other spirits," Loke said. "And in that state she went out on a mission, and she was killed-" He slipped to his knees. He was panting for breath now, struggling to pull air into his lungs. Was his story true? It had to be, right? Her spirits were mourning him, and he had no reason to lie when he was already dying. "I killed her, or as good as killed her."

"No, you didn't!" Lucy snapped. "She killed herself! She didn't have to take that mission! She died because she was too pigheaded to give up your keys!"

"No, it was my fault! She was my master, I should never have disobeyed her in the first place," Loke said. "Lucy, stop! Just stop! I'm ready to-" He broke off and wheezed for air.

"If you're so ready to die, then why are you still trying so hard to breathe?" Lucy demanded. She fell down on her knees next to him, caught hold of his shoulders and felt him shaking through his thick coat. "This can't happen! It isn't fair! I won't let you die!"

"You can't do anything," Loke said.

"That's what Taurus told me," Lucy said. "I don't like to be told I can't do things! If you can go back to the spirit world, you can recover your life force, right?"

"I can't go back to the spirit world," Loke said. "I killed my-"

"Blah, blah, blah," Lucy snapped. "Gate of the Lion, open!" She slammed power into the command, reaching out for the gate. It wasn't there. There was nothing to grab hold of.

She would just have to try harder.

"Lucy, stop!" Loke said. Lucy ignored the moron and yelled louder.

"Gate of the Lion! Open!" Nothing happened.

"Why are you doing this?" Loke shouted. "Why are you even trying?"

"Because my spirits are sad!" Lucy screamed. "That's it! That's the only reason I need!" She dragged on her power again. Golden light flared up all around her. It felt as if she was on fire, her skin scorching with the heat of raw magic, burning up from the inside. "Gate of the Lion, open!"

Nothing. Nothing!

"Lucy, stop! You'll die if you keep doing this!" Loke shouted. His voice rose to a tortured howl. "Don't add to my sin!"

"What sin? I won't accept that as a sin!" Lucy yelled. "If that's the rule in the spirit world, then that's wrong and I'll change it!" Her shout fell into silence. Everything stopped. The air went chokingly still around them as if they had stepped into the eye of a hurricane. For a moment, the waterfall hung frozen. Every drop of spray gleamed like a jewel in the light of the stars wheeling in the sudden darkness of the sky.

Lucy clutched on to Loke. "What's happening?"

"It can't be," Loke said. "There's no way!"

The waterfall roared up into the air and coalesced into a massive figure high above them.

Its shoulders blocked out the sky. Its cloak was made from the blackness of space and the glitter of far-off stars. Supernova eyes glowed in the shadow of its helmet. Its moustache was titanic.

"Who the hell is that?" Lucy gasped. It felt almost like the Outer God in Cypress Town, the same sense of a presence too old and vast to understand, only speaking through a human-shaped doll, as cold and faraway as starlight.

"It's the Stellar Spirit King," Loke breathed. "I can't believe he's here..."

"Old friend," the King boomed. "It is forbidden for we who have pledged ourselves to humans to kill the ones who bear our keys. It matters not whether it was direct or indirect. Leo the Lion, you are forbidden to return to the spirit world."

Lucy clambered to her feet, leaning on Loke's shoulders for support. "Hey! That's not fair!"

"Don't, Lucy!" Loke protested.

"Old friend. Human girl," the King said. "The law shall not be changed."

Shall not? 'Shall not' wasn't 'cannot'.

"It's a stupid law!" Lucy said. "Loke didn't do anything wrong. Karen killed herself! Loke never made her go out on a mission! He just didn't want her to be his master any more!"

"Stellar spirits are sworn to loyal service," the King said.

"If you can't quit, that's not service! That's slavery!" Lucy yelled. "Don't try to dress it up with talking about loyalty! Some people don't deserve loyalty!" The King looked down on her impassively. "It's been three years! That's enough!"

"I am pained by my old friend's suffering," the King said, "but-"

"'Old friend'?" Lucy cut in. "He's not your 'old friend'! He's your friend, right there!" She gestured sharply to where Loke was still kneeling on the ground. "And you're the only one killing him, so either stop doing it or stop pretending that you care!"

"Lucy, stop!" Loke said. "I don't want to be forgiven! I want to repent for my sins!" His voice broke. "I just want to disappear!"

"You can't!" Lucy yelled at him. "What good would that do? You disappearing wouldn't bring Karen back! It'll only make other people miserable!" She half-turned, one hand toward Loke and the other towards the stellar spirit king. "Look! Look!"

She dragged on all the power she had left, the very last vestiges of her strength, the residual magic seeped into her flesh and bones, and reached out for her spirits. They answered her. Taurus and Cancer, and Aquarius scowling at the back; Andromeda, a brown-skinned girl in a white tunic, manacles on her wrists and Serpens wound loosely around her neck; Lyra, Crux and Horologium, Caelum, the Canes Venatici, even Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, all as solid at her back as a wall, or an army.

Lucy could only hold them for a second. She fell forward onto the ground.

"Lucy, what were you thinking? You could have died!" Loke said, clutching at her. "Are you all right?"

Lucy ignored that. She pushed herself up onto her knees and screamed at the King.

"If you're a spirit too, then you should understand!"

There was a long moment of silence.

"If so many of my friends would stand with you, perhaps the law is in error," the King said. "Hmmm. Since you broke the law for the sake of your companion Aries, I will break the law for you. Leo, you are permitted to return to the stellar spirit world."

Lucy whooped. "Yes! You aren't so bad, moustache man!" A brief bright gleam in the King's face could have been a smile, or a shooting star.

"But... I was ready to die," Loke said weakly. The king was fading away. Normality was seeping back into the world. The last words the King spoke reverberated for a moment in the empty sky: "If you still want to repent for your sin, I order you to serve your new master faithfully, and live on."

"I told you I could do it!" Lucy said, and flung both arms around Loke's neck.

"This doesn't absolve me," Loke said, and for a moment Lucy thought how much more yelling will I have to do to convince this guy? before his arms tightened around her. "But... I feel like I can move forwards, now... Thank you, Lu-"

"Both of you, lay down your weapons and cease any magical workings!"

"Lucy! Lucy, are you all right? Have you been murdered?"

Lucy and Loke both looked up. Two people were hurrying towards them. She recognised Juvia. The other-

"Oh, crap, it's a Rune Knight!"

"Nothing's wrong!" Lucy said, waving her hands wildly, as Juvia reached her. "I didn't kill anyone!"

"We do appreciate that you haven't committed any murders, as far as we know," the Rune Knight said. "However, you both left the Judicial Palace while on trial without authorisation, and you, Miss Heartfilia, are further guilty of brawling in the Palace, smashing a window and, since you're here and not in the records book at the Palace station, travelling on the railways without a valid ticket."

"My father does own most of the railways," Lucy said. "Shouldn't there be some payoff for having to be related to him?"

"...I have to go now," Loke said, and melted.

"And fleeing custody," the lieutenant said, sounding intensely fed up.

"That wasn't intentional! He just had to go back to the spirit world," Lucy said. "I can explain!" She explained. Juvia gasped and oooohed at all the appropriate moments.

"The investigation of Karen Lilica's death proved that her killer was another stellar spirit mage already known to the Rune Knights. There is no legal reason for anyone else to be considered responsible for her death," the lieutenant said.

"That's what I told him!" Lucy said. Another stellar spirit mage? Wow. All summoners were bitches except her and her mother, Lucy decided. Then she thought again. All summoners were bitches, except for her mother.

"Still, as the Lion's owner, you are therefore responsible in law for his actions as well as your own," the lieutenant said. Lucy blanched.

"I- I am?"

"You will therefore need to fill out two copies of form B-17, for leaving the Judicial Palace without authorisation while on trial, as well as one copy of F-9 for brawling on Council property, and one copy of F-24 for damaging council property. A fine can be levied for each of those misdemeanors, and you will need to fill out copies of B-26 and H-9 and write a formal letter of apology for each fine you wish to appeal."

"...can you write that down for me, please?" Lucy said. The lieutenant obligingly produced a notebook and pen.

"Thank you very much for finding Lucy, Lieutenant," Juvia said. "Juvia is very grateful, and Lucy is very sorry for distracting you from your work!" Juvia was practically glowing with adoration.

"Yes. Very sorry," Lucy said.

"It's not a problem. My shift finished at nine," the lieutenant said.

"... are you saying you spent your free time chasing us halfway across Fiore?" Lucy said, in total disbelief.

"Yes," he said, and glanced at her over the tops of his glasses like he didn't quite see the issue. "It needed to be done, but it wasn't important enough to justify pulling anyone off the day shift when the Palace is hosting two guilds which have recently tried to destroy each other." He went back to writing.

Lahar was obviously... very dedicated to... his work...

Juvia gasped and clapped both hands to her mouth. A_ love rival_?

While the lieutenant was distracted, Lucy beckoned Juvia over. "Juvia. Juvia, get over here."

Juvia got over there. "What is it?"

Lucy beckoned her down closer and spoke quietly, so Lahar wouldn't hear. "Did you know that you were supposed to testify today?"

There was a momentary pause.

"No. Juvia did not know that."

* * *

"Shooby-do-bop!" Gajeel sang (for a given value of 'sang') and strummed the guitar. "Skibbedy-do-bop!"

The councillors stared. Siegrain had propped his chin in his hands and was watching intently.

"These iron, iron blues," Gajeel sang, "listen to my song, but it's not like I want you to listen to it, shooby-dooby-do-bop-"

"Okay," Siegrain said to Ultear over Yajima's head, "I give up. I have no idea where he got the suit. Or the guitar. Or the hat."

Ultear just very slowly slumped over.

* * *

The awkward bit, it turned out, was explaining to the Fairies that you sort of owned one of their friends now.

"You're a stellar spirit?" Natsu said.

"Yup!"

"You don't look like a spirit," Natsu said.

"I never noticed. Really," the underpants mage said.

"Shouldn't you be glowier?" Natsu poked Loke in the middle. "Or squishier?"

"You're thinking of ghosts," Lucy said. The Dragon Slayer was so loud. It was like his volume was accidentally set twice as high as most people's. Natsu perked up suddenly.

"Happy! Aren't stars made of fire? Loke, can I try eating you?"

"No!" Lucy and Erza said simultaneously.

"Loke's the Lion stellar spirit, Leo," Lucy said, to change the subject from whether or not he was delicious.

"A lion?" the cat says. "That's like a grown-up cat, isn't it?"

Loke squatted down and grinned at him. "That's right!"

"It's really not," Lucy says.

"So what are you going to do now?" the underpants mage asked, with a sidelong glance at Lucy. "Can't you just carry on like you were?"

"I'm afraid those days are over now that Lucy's my master," Loke said. He got up and went to stand behind Lucy, arms around her shoulders, chin on the top of her head."I'll just show up gallantly whenever she's in trouble, like a knight in shining armour."

"Lucky," Natsu said. "I want a stellar spirit!"

"What stellar spirit?"

"A dragon, of course!"

Lucy touched a finger to her lower lip. "There is a dragon constellation, actually. Draco. They're silver keys."

"Awesome!" Natsu said. "I want to get five! And I'll fight them all that once!" He punched the air.

"Are you a monster?!" Lucy said. "You can't summon five spirits at once just to have a free-for-all!"

"If you had five of me, we would have to fight each other for your love," Loke told her seriously, and nuzzled into Lucy's cheek.

Lucy put a hand on his face and shoved him away. "Down. Bad kitty."

Loke lurched a little. "All right. I'll go back home-" He grinned widely. "None of you be cruel to my pretty new summoner while I'm gone, all right?" He melted into starlight.

The Fairy Tail mages smiled and waved as Loke disappeared, and then rounded on Lucy.

"Aren't you best friends with the guy that put Loke in the hospital like a week ago?" said the underpants mage.

"Well, Loke likes her," Natsu said. "Where is Gajeel, anyway? I've been looking for him."

"What are your intentions with Loke?" Erza demanded.

"I was planning to summon him when I need his help?" Lucy said. "My intentions are entirely honourable!" That sounded like she was asking permission to court him. "I don't care what else you think of me, but I'm not unkind to my spirits. I'll call any one you want out right now and you can ask them! … well the ones that can talk, anyway." The Titania did not look remotely reassured. Lucy dug in her handbag. "Look, Loke gave me these-" She held up four tickets. "They're tickets to a hotel on the coast. He bought them a while ago for his girlfriends, but then the whole dying thing – anyway, he gave them to me, so do you want to come?" She offered two of the tickets to Erza. "Bring a friend! We can go swimming and ride the rollercoasters and you can decide whether or not to kill me in the night and steal my keys!" It was a really ritzy hotel. Maybe that would cheer Erza up about Councillor Siegrain's creepy thing for her hair.

Erza took the tickets and looked at them. Her eyes widened a little. Natsu and the underpants mage looked over her shoulders, and goggled.

"Holy crap!"

"That place is so fancy!"

Erza looked up. "All right. Let's go."

"... I think maybe we should wait until after the trial," Lucy said.

* * *

The verdict was to be announced a few days later. The councillors had been deliberating on it for a whole day – actually, Lucy expected they would have decided within ten minutes and then bunked off for coffee, but they had waited a day to declare it. If they meant to disband a guild, and they thought there might be resistance, it would give them time for Rune Knights to occupy the guild hall and surround the judicial palace.

The Fairies and a good chunk of Phantom Lord's First Division were loitering in the hall in front of the great court room, split almost exactly down the middle. Lucy was hurrying to join the crowd, hopping down the gallery above them while trying to straighten her socks and fix an adorable barrette straight in her hair. It was hard work being so cute.

She looked up, and saw that Rune Knight that Juvia liked. She yelped and ducked behind a column. Lahar was standing by the railing of the gallery, posture ramrod-straight, hands clasped behind his back. He didn't stir. Lucy peeked out a little further around the side of the column. He continued to not move. Lucy considered the possibility that he was an illusion set up to keep the Fairies in line.

"It's his lunch break, you know," Councillor Siegrain murmured in her ear. Lucy screamed and leapt backwards eight feet, straight through Siegrain's thought projection, which flickered at the edges. Lahar looked up sharply.

" I think he might have spotted us," Siegrain said. "Stay still! Rune Knights are like dinosaurs in a lot of ways. They can't see you if you don't move." Lucy dived back behind the column instead. Lahar stared at them for a moment in disbelief and irritation, then schooled his expression into a calm mask and turned back to scrutinising the Fairies below.

"You see?" Siegrain said. "We're completely invisible."

"I think he's just ignoring us, actually!" Lucy seethed. "Are you being ridiculous on purpose?"

"Excuse me?" Siegrain said. "I happen to be a member of the Magic Council, held in high esteem by most people who are not also members of the Magic Council. I resent your allegations."

"Okay. Whatever," Lucy said. "Why is it important that it's Lahar's lunch break?"

"What you are looking at here," Siegrain informed her, "is a man who has chosen to spend his free time glaring at troublemakers. It's very good of him. My esteemed co-councillors and I feel very reassured knowing that should Fairy Tail suddenly blow up the entire building then Lahar will be there to tut at them disapprovingly. All I'm saying is, should you be eyeing Lieutenant Lahar with romantic interest, consider not doing so. Instead, could I suggest therapy?"

"It's not for me!" Lucy snapped, and then she could have kicked herself.

Siegrain cocked his head inquisitively on one side. "Who is it, then? - Oh! Juvia Lockser!"

"What? How did you know that?!"

"I was guessing," Siegrain said. "That's very handy, isn't it?" That sounded like genuine approval. "When they get married she can keep all her old monogrammed handkerchiefs."

"Seriously? Those are your priorities?" Lucy said.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Siegrain asked. His expression was still totally serious. "It would be an honour to assist in the flourishing of young love. Also, I can't think of any way that we wouldn't all benefit from Lahar getting laid."

"Oh, no," Lucy said, and started looking for an escape route. Siegrain was blocking her path one way, Lahar the other.

"I have an idea," Siegrain said. Lucy started looking for an escape route _harder_. She could jump over the railing. It wasn't that far a drop. Only thirty feet or so. Siegrain breezed past her and greeted Lahar with a cheery wave. "Good morning, lieutenant! Are you single currently?"

Lucy settled instead for ducking back behind the pillar and pretending that she wasn't there.

"I'm not currently in a relationship, no," Lahar said. "Thank you for asking." That was the tone of a man praying this conversation wouldn't take long.

"And are you gay? …I'm not asking for myself, don't make that face." Siegrain folded his arms and added petulantly, "You'd be lucky. Well?"

"I'm not gay," Lahar said, now in the tones of a man praying for death.

"Oh, that's convenient," Siegrain said. He leant over the railing and pointed. "I'd like to draw your attention to one of the young women down there. Do you see the one with the blue hair? Not the one the Iron Dragon is talking to, the one who just went red and looked away? She wants to jump your bones like they were a sexy trampoline." Lucy peeked out a little further. Lahar was making the most unamused face in the history of the world. Siegrain steepled his fingers and inquired with scientific interest, "So. Why are you not hitting that?"

"Her guild master is currently on trial and, by extension, so is she. It would be _highly_ unprofessional," Lahar said.

"...All right. I give up," Siegrain said, and went back to Lucy. "I'm sorry," he told her gravely. "There's nothing that can be done. He's terminally boring." He patted Lucy's hand in the manner of a doctor consoling a bereaved patient and departed.

Lucy looked at Lahar. Lahar looked at Lucy.

"I am so, so sorry," Lucy said, and ran away.

There was a brief pause. Lucy reappeared. "So... after the trial, you might consider-"

"Please go away," Lahar said.

Lucy obliged.

The doors downstairs were opened and the crowd allowed to flood into the gallery. Jose, and Mirajane Strauss representing Master Makarov, both stood in the dock. An unobtrusive magical barrier gleamed between them and around the dock. Lucy still wriggled back closer to Juvia, and Juvia slipped her hand through Lucy's arm. Jose was still and silent, mouth slightly open, pupils dwindled down to pinpricks. He looked as if he'd been hit point-blank with a blast of magic. Mirajane waved happily up at the rest of the Fairies.

The councillors filed in and took their seats. Lucy noticed that Siegrain looked straight up at the gallery. Looking for Erza?

"The court has deliberated and will now pronounce its verdict," one of the small froglike officials announced. Councillor Org stood.

"Under the law, guild masters are permitted to imprison their mages for disciplinary, though not exceeding three hours without food and water or seventy-two hours with food and water, subject to further restrictions on temperature, access to facilities, acceptable noise levels, et cetera," he said.

There was an aghast "They are?" from a nearby Fairy. "That's inhuman!"

"However, for a guild master to imprison one of their mages until said mage's parents pay for their release still constitutes kidnapping, and is generally frowned upon."

"Yesss," Lucy hissed to Juvia.

"Moreover, imprisoning Fairy Tail's diplomatic delegation and attacking Magnolia with a giant robot-" He shook his head.

"That was childish behaviour," said Belno.

"Extremely foolhardy," Yajima said.

"And _completely awesome_," said Siegrain. "Why do we not have a giant robot?"

"Will you be quiet, Sieg!" Org snapped. Siegrain grinned. Ultear concealed a smile behind the sleeve of her robe. Org huffed and went on. "This court considers that you have shown reckless disregard for the laws governing interguild relations and, more importantly, the lives of civilians. Jose Porla, this court therefore finds you guilty of four counts of kidnapping, precipitation of interguild warfare, transforming your guild headquarters into a giant robot without planning permission and gross public endangerment. The sentence of this court is twelve years' imprisonment, the revocation of your place among the Ten Mage Saints and the total disbandment of your guild." Jose jerked like he'd been electrocuted. Rune Knights were already closing in for containment. There was a faint ripple of glee through the Phantom mages – the ex-Phantom mages – at the sentence, but no dismay at hearing the guild would have to disband. How could it have lasted now, anyway? There was no saving some things.

"Let's get out of here," Lucy murmured to Juvia. She didn't want to be there if Jose exploded. Rune Knights were already moving in for containment.

"It is also the judgement of this court," Org said, speaking as if every word was bitter poison in his mouth, "that on the charges of attempted kidnapping and precipiting interguild warfare Makarov Dreyar is innocent." His tone said very clearly that he knew Makarov was guilty of other charges, and that he wouldn't rest until he bloody well found out what they were. Still, the Fairies burst into wild cheering. Mira clapped her hands with delight.

"However!" Org had to shout to be heard over the general exultation. Lucy stopped and looked back. "Regarding the actions of the Fairy Tail mage Natsu Dragneel-"

The Fairies were startled into silence.

"-this court finds him guilty of attempted kidnapping against a mage of another legal guild, and sentences him to three months' imprisonment."

The Fairies gasped. In the dock, Mirajane's hands flew to her mouth. Lucy blinked. Huh. So they were teaching the Fairies a lesson after all. Somewhere, Laxus burst out laughing. Lucy looked around sharply and drew closer to Juvia, but she couldn't see the yellow-haired psycho anywhere. She couldn't see Fairy Tail's Dragon Slayer anywhere, either.

"Poor Natsu!" someone said, close by.

"That's so unfair!" Lucy thought that was Mickey Chickentiger.

"He might be out in time for the Fantasia, with good behaviour," said the blue-haired Fairy girl.

"Good behaviour?" said the underpants mage. "We're never going to see him again."

Lucy caught Juvia's eye and jerked her head towards the door. They slid out. Gajeel stomped after them, with Ryos trailing behind like a baby duckling.

"I'm glad that's over," Lucy said.

"Juvia concurs."

"What do you think everyone will do now?" Lucy asked. "Even if they hadn't just disbanded Phantom, the guild couldn't have survived that." Another guild might have – a smaller guild, one where everyone could be at least acquainted with everyone else, and Lucy expected that the Fairies would just have pointed at the ceiling and appointed a new master by pulling a name out of a hat – but Phantom was just too big to hold together.

"Juvia has heard that some subdivisions will go back to being individual guilds themselves, and that some mages of the First Division mean to gather together and form a guild of their own. Juvia wishes them good luck."

"What do you want to do?" Lucy said.

Juvia looked down at her feet and said "Juvia is not sure she wants to join another guild."

"Me neither," Lucy said. They said you had to be in a guild to be a full-fledged mage. Well, anyone who said that to Lucy now could eat a running chainsaw. "What about you, Gajeel?"

"Don't care," Gajeel said. "What are you guys doing? Didn't you elope with some guy, Lockser?"

Juvia poked the tips of her fingers together. "No, Juvia has not eloped with anyone-"

"What is going on there, anyway?" Lucy asked. "Is that a thing? Is that gonna be a thing?"

Juvia poked the tips of her fingers together some more. "Juvia is not sure that there will be a thing..."

"They agreed to get coffee this afternoon if she wasn't in prison," Ryos said.

"Ryos!" Juvia went bright red. "Juvia was trying to keep that a secret!"

"Well, that's good, isn't it?" Gajeel said. "Getting coffee - like, getting coffee with another person - that's - God, I can't believe I'm having this conversation."

"Juvia is still not sure there can be a thing! Lahar is very lawful, and she has done so many unlawful things!" Juvia said. "How could a flower of love bloom between an officer of the law and a criminal? It could never happen! We were doomed before we even began!"

"You got away with running off before your trial," Lucy said.

"Juvia has done so many wicked things besides that! Wicked, illegal things. If Lieutenant Lahar found out he would want to punish Juvia terribly," Juvia said. She didn't actually sound too upset about that.

"You know, if you bang him hard enough he'll probably stop caring," Gajeel said.

"Do you guys ever feel like we're terrible role models for Ryos?" Lucy asked.

"It's okay," Ryos said. "I don't think of any of you as role models."

"Oi!" someone hollered. "Oiii! Gajeel!"

They all looked around. Natsu Dragneel had managed to evade the Rune Knights and was haring towards them.

"Gajeel! I've been looking for you!" he yelled. The blue cat fluttered onto his shoulder.

"How hard were you looking, Salamander? I've been right here!" Gajeel gestured irritably at the hall.

"What, you've been sitting in this room for a week? Boring!"

"No, dumbass!" Gajeel shouted.

"He's really noisy. I'm not sure how you kept missing him," Lucy said.

"It's not like I was avoiding you. Assbrain," said Gajeel.

"Whatever!" said Natsu. "Where'd you learn your Dragon Slayer magic?"

"Same way everyone learns Dragon Slayer magic, Salamander! Off of a dragon!"

"Wait. Why would dragons teach people that?" Lucy said aside to Juvia.

Juvia pursed her lips and said "Dragon Slayers do not seem to be very... sensible. Juvia wonders if that could be inherited." Ryos was watching Gajeel and Natsu intently.

"What dragon?" Natsu demanded.

"Metalicana. The steel dragon," Gajeel said.

"How is he?"

Gajeel scowled. "I dunno."

"Hey! I said, how is he?" Natsu shoved his face into Gajeel's. Gajeel did the same, with a snarl. Their foreheads clunked together.

"Ow! I said I dunno, trash!" Gajeel straightened up and rubbed his forehead. "He just shoved off one day! Didn't say anything."

Natsu started.

"He was an asshole anyway. It's not like I'd miss him," Gajeel said.

"Was that July seventh, seven years ago?"

Gajeel looked up, shock written all over his face. "How'd you know that? Do you know where Metalicana is?"

"How would I know that, stupid? I'm looking for Igneel! The fire dragon!" So all Dragon Slayers were raised by giant deadbeat lizards? That explained a lot. Natsu was thinking. It looked like hard work. "Hey, why are there so many sevens?"

"How would I know? I'm not a mathematician!" Gajeel snapped.

There was a yell from upstairs. "There he is! Move in!" Juvia and Lucy took several hurried steps away from the fugitive from justice. Ryos didn't move. Lucy pulled him away by the collar.

"Oh, man," Natsu said, like being sent to prison was a minor inconvenience, and pointed at Gajeel. "You better tell me if you hear anything about Igneel! And I want a rematch when I get out of jail!"

"Who needs a rematch?" Gajeel demanded. "We settled it. You suck, Salamander!"

"No way!" Natsu objected. "I'm gonna bulk up in prison and get crazy muscles! That's what you do in prison, right Happy?" The blue cat was clinging to Natsu's neck and wailing. "And I can get a tattoo and learn how to make a shank!" Natsu said. "Don't worry, Happy! You heard the old man, right? We messed up, so we gotta fix it!"

The Rune Knights descended and hauled him away.

"Happy! Stay with Levy!" Natsu yelled over his shoulder. "And Gajeel, I'm gonna kick your ass next time! That's a promise!"

A faint involuntary smile crept over Lucy's face. Honestly. They were all crazy.

She turned away and linked hands with Juvia. "Okay, here's the plan."

They all looked at her.

"First Juvia's getting coffee, and then we're going on holiday. Gajeel, are you coming? You'll have to get yourself a ticket."

"I've got nothing else to do," Gajeel grunted.

"Good. That's settled, then," Lucy said. She was looking forward to it. A nice relaxing holiday where nothing went wrong.

After that... maybe they could track down whoever killed Karen Lilica, get Aries's key back and collect the bounty. Juvia's lieutenant had said it was another stellar spirit mage. That meant Lucy had bait. If she was sort-of in-laws with the Fairies now she might have to drop in on them occasionally, but she would just have to deal with that.

Being an independent mage sounded nice. It sounded... free. There would be nobody to decide her path for her. It sounded just like what she'd always wanted.

* * *

A/N: Currently planning the Tower of Heaven arc. It might be a while before anything appears of it. Has anyone else noticed that nothing Simon does makes any sense whatsoever? "I don't want Erza to be sacrificed to Zeref. I will therefore kidnap her and take her straight to the guy who wants to sacrifice her to Zeref." "I want Erza's friends to help me fight evil. I'm going to punch them in the head and run away." "I want Erza to escape from this cell. I'm going to leave her tied up in it and walk away."

Okay, that last one works. But, in all seriousness, I think that blast to the head did something to his brain.


	18. Dredging Up Old Drama

Lucy rapped on the door. "Erza? Hey, Erza! Are you awake?"

The lock clicked and the door swung open. Erza Scarlet stood on the other side, dressed in her regular full armour. Lucy'd thought she'd gone to bask in the last of the evening sunshine. In full armour? Fairies were weird.

"We found a casino in the basement. Want to come check it out?"

"I'm not really fond of gambling," Erza said.

Was that a no? Was that a 'shove off'? "Gray's already down there playing," Lucy said.

"Hmm," Erza said, and then took a step back and spun. Her armour glowed and vaporised, replaced by a long rose-patterned dress cut to the thigh on one side, and long white gloves like a star in an old black-and-white movie. Her hair was swept up loosely, leaving two long locks to frame her face. Erza touched her fingers to her hair and smiled faintly. "This should do, right?"

"...if you're trying to completely overshadow the rest of us, sure!" Lucy said, and laughed. "Dressing casual would have been fine!"

"Since I'm coming, it would be an insult to the casino if I wasn't playing to win," Erza said.

"Yeah, yeah! Let's go!" They headed for the steps.

It had been a good day. They'd hung out on the beach, and played volleyball guyys versus girls, which - after the girls had beaten them - the guys agreed was deeply unfair because Ryos should only count as half a guy.

Lucy and Juvia hadn't been aware that Ryos was coming. Gajeel had shown up at the station with a massive wheeled suitcase, so Gray and Lucy had immediately both made jokes about the size of his wardrobe. Gajeel had made rude gestures at them and tossed the suitcase into the overhead luggage rack. It wasn't until they'd checked in and gone to their rooms that Gajeel had unzipped his suitcase and hauled Ryos out by the scruff of the neck.

"...Gajeel," said Juvia.

"What? Saved buying him a ticket," Gajeel said.

"Has he been in there the whole time?" Lucy said.

Gajeel made an annoyed gesture like, did you see me stick him in there?

"Honestly, Gajeel!" Lucy said. "You could have just made him climb in the suitcase when we got to the resort!"

"...oh yeah, that'd have worked," Gajeel said.

"Ryos's parents are going to sue you one day and I'm not going to testify in your favour," Lucy told him.

"Ryos's parents are corpses, they aren't suing crap," Gajeel said, as Ryos disappeared into the bathroom to fix his hair.

"Oh. Dammit," Lucy said. "Well, stop smuggling orphans anyway! Or at least do it better!"

Where the hotel rooms were neat and sophisticated, deep purple fabrics and wood panelling, the casino was all noise and glitter; neon stars on the ceiling, the flashing lights and jangling of the slot machines, shrieking from the amusement park next door. Glitter showered the gamblers at random from overhead pipes, and there were howls of laughter as people ran to get either out of the spray or under it. The brilliant lights seemed to create a perpetual noon; it didn't seem like that much later when Lucy asked absently "Hey, what time is it?" and the dealer answered "Three in the morning."

"Oh," Lucy said. Juvia and Erza both looked over at her. "Oh well." Lucy said. "I've got nothing to get up for tomorrow!" Erza was raking in the winnings. They could wait until her luck turned, right? Gajeel was loitering by the bar, with Ryos trailing after him as usual. Ryos was yawning and propping himself up on a barstool. Gray was playing the slots. The first wheel stopped on a seven, and then the second – Gray clenched his fists as the last wheel spun. "Come on!"

"Hey, boy," someone drawled. "You bet the shirt off your back?"

Gray looked down and realised that he'd lost his shirt, just as the last wheel clicked to a stop on a lemon. He scowled.

"What's it to you?" He swivelled on his seat, and his eyes widened. "Are you a Lego man?"

"Don't you know that the clothes maketh the man?" the square guy asked. He was sitting opposite, smoking a cigar. "Dandy men keep all their clothes on at all times. _At all times_."

"Are you security, or what?" Gray demanded. "What do you want?"

"I want to give you some advice, boy," the square guy said. He kicked off from the floor so that his seat spun around, so that he became a blur with a whipping scarf. "There are two paths a man can take," the blur said.

"What the hell?" Gray growled.

"He can live in a dandy fashion, or-" The square guy bounded off the chair and lunged. Gray was taken by surprise, and they both crashed to the floor. Gray was pinned down by the square guy's weight. "What the hell! Ice-Make-"

The square guy shoved a gun into Gray's mouth.

"-or he can just lay down and die," the square man finished.

Around them, people scattered, shouting in panic. "Look out! He's got a gun!"

Over by the bar, Gajeel didn't hear the shouting. He was doing some shouting of his own.

"He's old enough to be in a casino, right? Give him a beer!"

"No. There is no way that kid's over fifteen," the bartender said. "_You_ can have a beer. _You_ can buy all the beer you want. The kid, no."

"Can I just have a juice?" Ryos said.

"No! Juice is for girls and sissies," Gajeel said, and banged one fist on the bar. "Give him one of those drinks that's on fire!"

"Excuse me," someone said. A bouncer? Gajeel wheeled about, snarling. A massive man loomed behind them, wearing a turban and a prosthetic metal jaw. He was built like an ogre, hands as big as Aria's and with shoulders so broad he'd have a hell of time fitting through doorways. Gajeel wasn't bothered.

"What the hell do you want?"

"You're with Erza Scarlet, yes?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Where is she?"

Gajeel scowled. "Who wants to know?"

"An old friend," the asshole said. "Where is she?"

"How should I know?" Gajeel said. "She's not exactly hard to spot. Go look for her!"

The line of the asshole's metal jaw shifted. Gajeel spread his hands in a challenge.

"You want a fight, plate-face? Come on!"

Instead, the plate-face just touched two fingers to his head. "Ah. You've found her?"

A minute earlier, everything had still been going great.

"Wow, Erza!" Lucy said, as Erza scooped another pile of chips towards herself. Juvia was saucer-eyed. A group of men who'd gathered around to admire Erza in her rose-patterned dress were staring in awe.

"I feel lucky today," Erza said, with a pleased flick of her hair, as the dealer stepped away and another one took his place. "I don't think I'll lose, no matter who I'm up against."

"Is that so?" the new dealer said, and fanned out his pack of cards. "Why don't we play a special game, then? But not for chips-"

He flicked out five cards onto the table in front of Erza, and she looked down in interest and surprise. The cards were all lettered. D-E-A-T-H.

"Let's bet our lives," said the dealer. "Erza. _Sis_."

Erza looked up. Her eyes went huge. "...Sho." The colour drained out of her face.

What? The dealer – a young guy, brown skin, spiky blonde hair – just grinned like a loon. One eye drooped almost closed and the other opened so wide the white showed all around the iris. Lucy looked at Juvia and mouthed _do you know who_-

Juvia shook her head.

"It's been a long time, right, sis?"

What the hell was going on?

Erza smiled like she had just realised she ought to be smiling. "You were... safe?"

"Safe?" the whackjob repeated, raising an eyebrow. Erza flinched back.

"Oh – no, no, I-"

First Siegrain, now this guy – Sho? Lucy decided that Erza just attracted weirdos.

Meanwhile, the massive guy by the bar was still talking to himself.

"He a nutter?" Gajeel said.

"I think it's telepathy," said Ryos.

"Then, do you mind if I tidy things up on my end?" the massive guy asked. Gajeel looked around.

"What's he gonna tidy up?" The place looked pretty spotless.

"Us," Ryos said, just as the plate-face cast a spell.

"Dark Moment!"

Everything was swallowed up in blackness. All the neon lights and slot machines went out. People began to scream. Gajeel swore. "Ryos, get down!" He lashed out wildly with his metal bars and hit nothing. "Get back here, you piece of trash!" He could still smell the guy; he had to be around here somewhere! He whirled around and hit out. Bottles shattered. The wood of the bar splintered. "Where are you?"

Two fingers jabbed into the back of his head. "Dark Burst!"

Gray heard the explosion and yelled around the gun barrel jabbed into his mouth. "Nighty-night, boy," the square guy said, and pulled the trigger.

Lucy had shrieked when the lights went out, and then Juvia had hauled her bodily off her seat and pulled her away from the table where Sho stood. They all heard the blast and the gunshot. "What was that?" Lucy gasped. "What's going on?"

The lights came back on. Everybody was gone. The people playing the slot machines, the dealer at the other table, the men who had been watching Erza play. Everyone.

"Sho?" Erza looked around. He was standing behind them. He spread out his hands, and cards fluttered to the floor. On them, little figures moved.

"Are those people in the cards?" Juvia said, and Lucy goggled.

"He's trapped people inside cards?" The tiny struggling figures cried out in thin whispering voices that blurred together – 'what is this?' 'what happened?' and 'someone please help us!' Lucy clutched Juvia's arm tighter and put her hand to the pouch on her belt that held her keys.

Erza hadn't drawn a sword, though. Wouldn't Erza arm herself if they were in danger? What was going on? Was this a joke of some kind?

Erza's voice was small and wavering. "Sho, what are you-"

"Erza, who is this man?" Juvia asked, and took a step forward. "Juvia and Lucy would like to know what is-"

"Meow!" Something whipped around Lucy and Juvia. It sliced smoothly through Juvia's water body and locked tight around Lucy.

"Juvia!"

Juvia whirled round as Lucy was dragged backwards and yanked up onto her tiptoes. She couldn't see who had her. The cord was tight around her throat and ribcage. She could barely breathe.

"Millianna!" Erza said, startled, and Juvia screamed like a banshee.

"Let Lucy go! Water Slicer!"

"Juvia, no!" Erza shouted, and whoever was holding Lucy shoved Lucy in front of themselves like a shield. Lucy screamed. Juvia managed to cancel the spell just in time, so when the water arcs crashed into Lucy and her attacker they didn't have the razor edges that would have cut them both in half.

They still hit hard, though. Lucy was flung backwards into the card table, and her attacker tumbled back off it with a squawk. Juvia grabbed Lucy, slashed the bindings away and pushed Lucy behind her. She was ready for a fight.

"Juvia, stop! They're my friends!" Erza said. She still wasn't doing anything. Why wasn't she doing anything? If they were in danger, surely Erza wouldn't just stand there?

"If they are Erza's friends, Erza should tell them that if they try to attack Lucy again then Juvia will_ cut them into little pieces_!"

"She will. Seriously," Lucy said.

"Your friends, sis?" Sho demanded. "Are we your friends? We thought we were your friends, until you betrayed us!"

Erza flinched back again and raised both hands as if she was trying to shield herself.

Betrayed? Oh. This was some old drama of Erza's, wasn't it? Some stupid melodramatic bullshit. Lucy was actually angry, now, that they'd just got dragged into Erza's interpersonal drama.

Actually, were they other Fairies? Lucy didn't remember seeing them before, but... inconveniencing everyone, causing explosions in public places, yelling about friendship? Yeah. Definitely Fairies.

She stood up. "Juvia, we should get out of here."

"Lucy, please don't go," Erza said. Lucy stopped, and looked around. Erza hadn't turned her head. She was watching Sho, with her arms wrapped tightly around herself and her hands clenched so hard her knuckles were white.

"Meow," someone said quietly. The girl who'd attacked Lucy had poked her head up over the top of the card table. She had cat ears. Erza's gaze flicked towards her, and she turned a little as if she didn't want to take her eyes off either of them.

Was she afraid?

That couldn't be right. She was Erza Titania. She was like, Gajeel's level. How could she possibly be scared of them? One of them was a catgirl! And if she was afraid, why didn't she just draw a sword?

"Don't ruffle her feathers too much, Sho," someone else said. "Dandy men know how to maintain their composure." A polygonal man materialised next to the catgirl. "You certainly turned into a looker, Erza!"

"Wally?" Erza said. "Is that you?"

The square guy tipped his hat to her. "Not that it would matter if you hadn't recognised me. Compared to the Mad Dog Wally from the old days, I'm much more _well-rounded_ now."

"All of you – you can all use magic?" Erza said.

Huh. Not Fairies, then.

"Don't be surprised," another voice said. How many of them were there? A massive guy in a turban appeared out of nowhere, crouching down, one shovel-sized hand flat to the floor. "Anyone would be able to use magic, if that guy got his hands on them."

What were they talking about? What was going on? Should they jump in? Erza still wasn't doing anything. Did they want to fight the Titania's battles for her?

"Erza, who are these guys?"

"They're old friends of mine," Erza said. "From before I joined Fairy Tail." She'd clearly just gone from one pack of loons to the next, then. "What are you all doing here?"

"We came to bring you back," said the square guy.

"Meow!" the catgirl agreed cheerfully.

"We're all going home, sis," Sho said.

The one in the turban just stared like a creeper.

"No," Erza said. She shook her head jerkily. "No. I don't want to-"

Three of her old friends exchanged exasperated looks. The guy in the turban continued staring like a creeper. Lucy waited. Erza would draw a sword, any second now, if they were seriously trying to kidnap her then _of course_ she would-

"We figured you'd be pigheaded about it," the square guy said, and then he shot Erza in the back. Erza jerked, and fell.

"Erza!" Lucy shouted in horror. "Juvia, we have to-" And then something hit her on the side of the head, and everything went black.

* * *

Lucy woke up with a pounding headache and Juvia pouring water onto her face. She coughed and sputtered. "Wha'? Wha' happened?"

"The polygonal man shot Lucy," Juvia said. "And then the big man cast his darkness magic, and they escaped with Erza." She clasped her hands together. "Juvia was so worried about Lucy!"

"You let them take Erza!" Gray snarled. "You let them walk out with Erza!"

"Juvia was protecting her friend!" Juvia snapped. "Juvia cannot protect Gray's friends as well! Perhaps _Gray_ should do that!"

"Fuckin' told, Fullbuster," Gajeel said. Gray bristled.

"Stop it! Stop!" Lucy said. Her three all shut up and looked at her. Gray opened his mouth to snap something else. "Seriously, stop," Lucy said, rolled over and buried her head in her arms. "I don't believe this."

Who would want to kidnap Erza? Who would risk kidnapping _Erza_? The only thing Lucy could think of was that Councillor Creepy Hair-Fondler had stolen her away to be his evil queen, and that suggested that Juvia's imagination was contagious.

"We need to go get her back," she said.

"Juvia does not think so. Juvia believes that Erza is capable of rescuing herself, if she chooses to."

"I think all we're _obliged_ to do is call law enforcement," Ryos said.

"Yeah," Gajeel agreed, glancing at the other two. "It's Scarlet's problem. Scarlet can deal."

"For all we know they're taking her to a surprise party," Ryos said.

"Surprise! We shot you in the back!" said Lucy. She sat up and turned to Juvia. "I'm trying to get the Fairies to trust me with one of their mages already. I can't let another one get kidnapped from right under my nose! Plus, foiling kidnap attempts is probably really impressive specifically to people who work in law enforcement. And have names that start with L."

"How is that relevant?" Gray said. Juvia covered her mouth with both hands. She could have been wavering or, alternatively, the mention of Lieutenant Lahar had sent her into a lovestruck funk.

Lucy turned to Gajeel. "Seriously, they grabbed her when we were standing right there! We can't let them get away with that! Are you telling me you don't want to get even?"

Gajeel glanced at Juvia. "Wouldn't mind kicking that turban bastard's head in," he said slowly.

"Plus, there might be a reward," Lucy said.

"Okay. I'm in," said Gajeel.

"Juvia agrees that it is actually a good idea," said Juvia.

"Good," Lucy said, and clambered to her feet. The room spun around her. She leant on the blackjack table for support and looked at Gray.

"We're going to go get Erza. Are you coming?"

Gray's mouth dropped open. He stared at her.

"If you're not, can you make sure they don't hire our rooms out to anyone else while we're gone? Loke spent a lot on them."

"Of course I'm coming!" Gray exploded. "I'd go by myself if I had to!"

"Oh. Okay," Lucy said. Wow. Touchy. She settled the pouch with her keys in on her hip and reached out. "Juvia?" The resort didn't like guests to carry weapons around openly, so Lucy had asked Juvia to hang on to her whip for her. Juvia pulled the whip out of her torso and handed it over.

"Uh," Gray said. Lucy shook the whip off and hung it on her belt.

"Do we know where they're going?"

"They said something about a Tower of Heaven, but Juvia has not heard of it before."

"I can smell them. They headed that way," Gajeel said, and pointed. "Towards the harbour."

"You sure?" Gray asked.

"Does your Dragon Slayer have crap for a nose or something? I can smell them, Fullbuster," Gajeel growled.

"Fine," Lucy said. She looked around at the cards on the floor and the people still struggling to get out of them. "Ryos, go tell the receptionist what happened and this Tower of Heaven thing. The rest of us are going to the harbour."

* * *

Erza drifted slowly back to consciousness, and cracked her eyes open. The sunlight hurt. She was in a wooden cabin, stacked with crates and barrels, and her wrists were tied behind her back around a support column. She groaned. "Where am I?" Her mouth was desert dry; the words came out as a croak.

"We're on a boat, sis!" Sho came down the steps. He'd changed into a long purple coat. "Heading back to the Tower of Heaven."

"Is that right?" Erza looked down. "Can you release me? I swear I won't fight." There was no point in fighting. She always knew Jellal would want her back eventually. She always knew she was going to die at the Tower.

"No can do," Sho said. "Sorry, sis. You're a traitor, remember?"

Erza dropped her gaze again. Her wrists were aching. She tugged at the cords, trying to get more comfortable, and couldn't.

"It's no use," Sho said. "Millianna's ropes seal magic. 'Fraid not even you can get out of them, sis."

"I understand," Erza said, struggling to keep her breathing even. She drew her knees up towards her chest. "At least... at least let me put my armour on. I'm scared to go back to that place, Sho, I need my armour or I can't..." Her dress was so thin, it clung to her body and let in every gust of wind off the sea. She was so exposed. She shouldn't have dressed up, she knew she was safest in armour. "I need my armour," she said.

"That dress suits you too," Sho said, and then as Erza shivered he was suddenly on his knees, his arms around her neck. Erza started.

"Sho!"

"I didn't want to do this to you," he said. "I wanted to see you again so bad, sis, we all did-" His back shook. He was sobbing into her shoulder. "Why did you betray us?" Before Erza could answer him, he reared back. His eyes were white all around the edges, his pupils shrunk to pinpricks, his face distorted with rage. "Why did you _betray Jellal_?"

Erza closed her eyes.

She remembered she'd been so scared, trying that last escape plan, because she knew what would happen if they failed like she knew now what would happen when they got back to the tower.

"It'll be okay," Jellal had said. "Don't be afraid." And she believed him. She remembered how clear his eyes were, and his smile.

* * *

"Are you telling me that remnants of the R-system still survive?" Org yelled.

"The R-System is a complex magical device which a black magic cult spent a great deal of time and effort trying to complete, eight years ago," Yajima explained, for the benefit of the younger councillors. "It was designed to raise the dead." Ultear looked appropriately shocked. Siegrain yawned. "Of course, there's debate over whether it could ever work..."

"There were seven towers," another councillor said. "All of them were destroyed. There shouldn't be one brick left atop another brick!"

"There was an eighth tower," Belno said. "It's on an island off the coast of Caelum."

Org leant his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. "Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately, when it comes to a sense of humour, our recon teams are sadly lacking," Belno said.

"And the device has been completed?" Ultear asked.

"As far as we can tell," Belno said.

Org harrumphed.

"Of all the times for the R-System to reappear," Michello groaned.

"The Tower of Heaven," Siegrain corrected, because he had read every book in the Council's library and was insufferable. "Its proper name is the Tower of Heaven."

"Yes, that was the traditional term," Michello said.

"Don't quibble about terminology, Sieg, it doesn't matter what we call it," Org snapped. "The R-system is taboo magic! It'd create havoc! We have to dispatch the military as soon as we can!"

"We know nothing about our opponents, though," Yajima said.

"Nothing? But it was just stated that-"

"The recon team's surveillance suggests that the group now occupying the tower is not affiliated with the cult we dealt with before," Belno said. "It seems to be under the control of a man named Jellal."

"I've never heard of anyone by that name," Michello said, and judging by the irritable silence, neither had anybody else.

"Other than his name, we have no information on him," Leiji said. He was leaning over to look at Belno's papers.

"The man is positively _shrouded_ in mystery," Belno agreed wearily.

There was a moment of silence while the councillors thought, interrupted by a knock on the door. One of the amphibious administrators stuck her head in. "Councillors? We have a report from the south coast-"

"This is an important meeting," Org said.

"We need a 'do not disturb' sign on the door," Sieg said. "Painted in frog blood."

"Sieg. Zip it," said Org.

"It concerns Fairy Tail and an attack on civilians," the administrator said. "You said you should be told immediately if anything happened involving-"

"I know what we said! Listen to what we're saying now-"

"Does it involve the Tower of Heaven?" Sieg asked flippantly.

The administrator looked down at the papers in her hand. "Yes."

Sieg looked surprised. "Really? Huh."

"The administrators don't have much of a sense of humour either," Belno said. "What happened?"

"The Titania, the Iron Dragon, Juvia Lockser and another two mages were staying at the Akane Resort on the south coast. They were in the casino when four other mages invaded it, imprisoned the civilian guests inside playing cards-"

"The invaders, or the Fairies?"

"The invaders," said the administrator. "They subsequently abducted Erza Scarlet and escaped by ship. They were heard saying that they were returning to a 'Tower of Heaven' and that someone named Jellal would be pleased to see them back. The other mages in the Titania's group have gone after her."

Ultear glanced at Sieg, who said "Do you think Erza's bought an Armour of Kidnap Victim lately?"

Org beckoned. The admistrator crossed the room quietly and set the documents in front of him.

"Have the civilians been released?"

"A squad of spellbreakers is working on it as we speak," the administrator said.

"Good. Thank you. You may leave." The administrator withdrew.

"Why would Miss Scarlet's presence be required?" Ultear asked, brow creased.

"The Tower requires a sacrifice," Sieg said. "Any powerful mage. The Titania would do nicely."

"So," Belno said. "Whatever they mean to do, they will do it soon. This needs to be dealt with quickly."

* * *

Gray was standing up in the boat, rocking slightly with the waves. "Where the hell are we?"

"We have been drifting aimlessly for some time," Juvia said.

"What are you doing?" Gray said, to Gajeel.

Gajeel showed Gray both his middle fingers. "It's around here, Fullbuster."

Gray was fuming. He would probably have been pacing the length of the boat, if it hadn't been for Juvia, Gajeel and Lucy blocking him one way and Ryos curled up in the bottom the other way. (Ryos had come hurtling down the pier and leapt into the boat just as Juvia cast off. Lucy was hoping he wouldn't get in the way. Sure, he was a mage of some sort – she wasn't sure what exactly – but on the other hand, he was six years old. Twelve? Whatever.)

"Damn it!" Gray kicked the side of the boat. "I can't believe they just took Erza away while I was unconscious! How pathetic is that?"

"That's an accurate assessment," Juvia said.

"Seriously, they kicked the Titania's ass? Fuck me," said Gajeel. He was standing up as well, which made the boat tip forwards a little towards the front.

"Juvia would rather not," said Juvia. Lucy stifled a snort with her hand.

Gray turned on Gajeel. "There's no way they beat Erza! You don't know the first thing about her!"

"Miss Erza didn't fight them," Juvia said sharply. "Juvia is quite sure that Miss Erza could have defeated them all, had she wanted to. She did not fight back."

"So... we can't assume that Erza's going to help us rescue her," Lucy said. "She said they were old friends of hers, from before she joined Fairy Tail." She looked at Gray. "Do you know anything about that?"

He looked down, and made a noise like _tch_.

Hah. Who didn't know anything about Erza, again?

"Oh, well," she said. "We know who we're dealing with now, and I don't think they can match us when they can't take us by surprise. This'll be easy!" If it didn't involve summoning eldritch abominations or fighting one of the ten Wizard Saints, Lucy wasn't going to worry about it.

"Oi," Gajeel said, and pointed. "Tower!"

* * *

A/N: Thanks for waiting, everyone!

A lot of this arc will probably be identical to canon, just because the people on Murdercult Island have no reason to care about anything Lucy's done up until now. That means a lot of basically novelising manga scenes. Sorry if that bores anyone; I figured it was better not to skim over them because this crap was like four years and a timeskip ago and who even remembers that far back? The differences in the Fantasia and Oracion Seis arcs will be much more substantial, to the point that I'm still working out what exactly happens in them.

A minor change has been made to chapter fourteen, for the sake of showing off a new summon I'd foolishly not shown off before. Yay for retcons!


	19. The Tower of Heaven

Erza craned her head back. The tower loomed over her. Towards the top, the mismatched levels blurred together and turned black against the sun. Her eyes watered from the light. She blinked it away.

"You really did complete it."

"It's been eight years," Sho said. "It wasn't hard, because we had the plans. Really, we only put the finishing touches on the place."

"Move," Simon said, and shoved her forward.

"Eight years," Erza said. "You guys, you've all changed-"

They said nothing. It was a ridiculous statement. Had she thought they would just stop without her, freeze like flies in amber until Jellal brought her back?

They took her down under the ground and locked her in one of the old cells. They chained her arms over her head. She let them, and closed her eyes like she was sleeping. It was as cold as a mortuary down there.

"Should we go tell Jellal we got Erza back?" Millianna asked Wally.

"He knows, Millianna," Wally says. "That guy, he doesn't miss a thing in this tower."

"Jellal says he's gonna do the ceremony tomorrow, at midday," Sho said. "These'll be your quarters until then, sis."

The ceremony?

Wait. He was actually trying to activate the R-System? Erza's eyes opened wide. Sho was still talking.

"No hard feelings, right? You're the traitor, you dug your own grave. Jellal's pretty mad at you."

"He decided to let you be the sacrifice, though," Millianna said. "It's sad we won't see you again, but that's an honour!" She leant against the doorframe and scuffed a toe through the dust. "I think you were always his favourite a little bit, Erza!"

"No, Jellal doesn't have a favourite!" Sho snapped. "Why would Erza be favourite, anyway? She left!"

"Me-_ow_," Millianna said, and mimed zipping her mouth shut.

"Dandy men don't lose their cool, Sho," Wally said, as Simon turned and walked away. Sho made a face at them all.

Erza's hands were clenched into fists, and shaking. Millianna noticed first. She butted her head against Wally's arm and flicked her eyes towards them.

"It's not dandy to tremble, Erza," Wally said.

Sho looked at her in surprise. "Are you scared?"

Erza said nothing.

"Does being the sacrifice frighten you?" Sho asked. "Or is it this old place bringing up some nostalgia?" He gestured around at the old cell with studied disinterest.

She was scared. She wanted to huddle on the floor with her arms over her head, just like the last time – almost the last time – she was down there.

"We'll settle for one of you, today," the guard had said. She didn't remember which one. They'd all been the same. "Who was the genius behind this botched escape? Tell us who it was that led you little darlings astray, and you'll get off with a slap on the wrist." He laughed. "Are we merciful, or what?"

She'd glanced sideways. Sho was sobbing with terror, tears and snot dripping down his face. He was the youngest of them, so skinny, there wasn't enough of him to take any punishment. For a stupid selfish moment, she almost hated him for being so weak. She cleared her throat. "I-"

Jellal cut her off. "It was me. I planned it and told them what to do." He was standing up, feet apart, braced for a blow. The guard looked him over, and grinned.

"Bullshit. It was this girl, wasn't it?" He grabbed Erza by the neck of her tunic and hauled her off the ground.

"What?" Jellal demanded, and Simon let out a wordless shout.

"Take her," the guard

Erza had seen them take people away before. Sometimes they went quietly, and sometimes they screamed and struggled until the guards beat them to the ground. She couldn't scream. She couldn't speak at all.

"No! It was me, I did it!" Jellal shouted.

"It wasn't Erza!" Simon yelled.

"D-don't worry," she'd said. "It'll be fine. It's not scary at all-" People didn't go quietly because they weren't afraid. It was because there were people they didn't want to remember them crying. Jellal fought to get to her, and one of the guards picked him up, shook him like a doll and slammed him into the ground. He howled. "Erza!"

"Sorry, sis," Sho said, breaking her reverie. She looked up. Simon had stomped off. Millianna and Wally were standing in the doorway, and Sho was right there. It was just that for a moment, she thought she had seen other people in their place. People with whips and hounds. Sho was looking down at his feet. "I should have admitted to it, back then, that it was my plan, but I was only worried about saving my own hide."

Erza remembered being terrified, sick with fear, but she couldn't care about it any more. It was nothing compared to what came after, anyway.

"That's long in the past," she said. "Do you understand what'll happen if you try to raise the dead using the R-System?"

Sho lifted his head. "You know what it's for? I'm impressed."

"Erza does her homework!" Millianna chirped.

"The Revival System: in exchange for one living sacrifice, one person can be brought back from the dead," Erza rattled off. "It's forbidden magic, completely divorced from humanity."

"Ehn? When did magic have anything to do with humanity?" Millianna said.

"Magic is how we_ surpass_ humanity," Sho said.

"You sound just like those cultists!" Erza said. "Just like them. How did you guys turn into them?"

"That's hardly fair," Wally said. "Those were the least dandy men I ever saw."

"They didn't get it!" Millianna said cheerfully. "They thought the Tower was just a boring 'anti-soul restoration device'." She pronounced the words carefully. "It would have been a waste to leave it to them!"

"They didn't have Jellal's foresight," Sho said. "He's going to create a paradise for us, Erza!"

"A paradise," Erza said flatly.

"When Jellal's resurrected Zeref, it'll remake the whole world," Sho said. "And it'll be ours!" He laughed breathlessly. "All the remnants of the cult that stole our lives, the morons on the council who didn't do anything, all your new friends you like better than us-" His voice was rising. "All the ignorant people enjoying their lives – we'll make them all suffer! We'll make them suffer like we suffered!" Millianna was smiling, Wally was nodding. Sho was shouting now, alight with religious fervour, face twisted with hate. "We'll be the rulers of the-"

Erza kneed him in the chin. Sho was flung backwards. Blood spurted from his mouth. Millianna shrieked.

"Nekosoku Tube!"

Erza swept one leg across in front of her so that the tube wrapped around her calf, then pulled her knee in close to her chest, and Millianna was yanked towards her, squealing. Erza slammed her forehead into hers. Millianna stumbled backwards, gasping, and Erza kicked her in the stomach. Millianna folded up.

Wally had been delayed for a split second. He couldn't have shot through Millianna.

"Simon!" he hollered. "Dandy men don't call for help!" Erza kicked off one of her stiletto heels, caught the strap between her toes and whipped it at him. He yelped and ducked. Erza jumped, sank her teeth into the binding around her wrists and tore. It came loose – loose enough, thought she ripped layers of skin from her wrists in pulling them free. She summoned a sword and dived forward as Wally fired. The bullet sang over her head and cracked against the stone wall. Erza rolled, catapulted back to her feet and drove the point of the sword into Wally's throat. He gagged and fell to the ground, eyes rolled back into his head.

He would be fine. It was only a wooden bokken.

"Jellal, you bastard, what did you do to my friends?" The pretty dress vaporised. Brilliant light whirled around her and solidified into her regular armour. Her mouth was set with iron determination. "I can't let this go unpunished!"

* * *

Jellal threw back his head and laughed like a madman.

"What is it?" Vidaldus asked. Vidaldus was not an advisor. Vidaldus liked to think he was an advisor, but he was actually just a giant meddler.

"Isn't Erza incredible?" Jellal said. "Really, don't you think she's incredible?" Vidaldus offered no opinion on Erza's incredibility.

The two men were both at the top of the tower, in the throne room. This was a great airy hall with a high ceiling and no side walls, only decorated columns and vast apertures opening onto a balcony. At this altitude, the wind whistled through the hall and tugged at Jellal's coat, and only the immense quantity of hair gel Vidaldus used kept it from blowing his long black hair out of all control.

Jellal got up, descended the steps of his throne and went to his board. He flicked over the pieces representing Sho, Millianna and Wally. "Isn't this interesting, Vidaldus? Are you wondering which of us will win?"

There was a brief pause while Vidaldus decided to ignore everything Jellal'd just said. "I was concerned with the actions of the Council-"

Jellal gestured for him to hush and waited expectantly, one finger on top of Simon's piece.

* * *

Simon's heavy footsteps thudded outside the door to the cell. "Wally? Is something-" Then he saw Wally, Sho and Millianna lying on the floor, and the empty hook where they had hung Erza up. He groaned, and came forward into the cell. He had to stoop to get under the lintel.

Erza was crouching on top of the lintel, and as Simon stepped forward, she struck downwards right onto the bolt where his prosthetic jaw was fixed into his skull. He staggered. Erza threw herself off the lintel. Both boots slammed into the back of Simon's neck. He crashed to the floor with a shout. "Erza!"

She hit him again, and then again because he had always been the strongest of them. The bokken snapped. Erza gasped and dropped to one knee to make sure he was okay. Simon was unconscious, but still breathing. She didn't really want to hurt any of them. She just needed them not to be in the way. And she didn't want to hear more of Jellal's insanity coming out of her friends' mouths.

She stood and left the cell. She locked the door behind her.

* * *

Jellal knocked over Simon's token. "All four of them at a time," he said. He thought it over. "Good. That's how it should be. There's nothing more boring than a one-sided game, and those guys are nothing; I'd be disappointed if Erza couldn't beat them."

"Jellal," Vidaldus said. "We should recapture Erza quickly and hold the ceremony before the Council can act. This isn't the time to be playing around."

"If that's what you think, why don't you go down and catch her yourselves?"

Vidaldus tilted his head to one side. "Are you sure?"

Jellal reached for his three spare pieces and set them down on the board. The guitar, the owl, the little doll in kimono. "She's had her go, hasn't she?"

Vidaldus grinned wildly, and then thrust both arms down, crossed at the wrists. As he lifted his hands, all six feet of his hair streamed upwards, light flared up all around him and the air hummed like a vibrating guitar string. When he dropped his hands, his skin had turned bleach white, black makeup ringed his eyes, and two people stood beside him.

"Death's Head Caucus Raiding Squadron, Trinity Raven," Jellal said. "It's your turn now."

"Hell!" Vidaldus shouted, exultant, insane. "I'll drag all you bitches down to hell!"

"Whoo-whoo," said Fukuro, and tipped his head on one side.

"Life and love alike / shall be scattered to the wind," Ikaruga said. "Tonight, we rejoice."

* * *

"That's a lot of guards," Gray said.

"They've got spears and swords," Ryos said.

"So? They look tasty," Gajeel said. Lucy hoped he was talking about the swords and spears and not the guards themselves.

"So they're not likely to be mages," Ryos said.

"Let's plough through them, then!"

Lucy reached out, grabbed the top of Gajeel's head and shoved him back down.

"Oi!"

Four of them were crouched behind boulders at the very edge of the island, looking up at the great staircase that led to the base of the tower. There were smaller towers dotted around at the base, like a little village, but the streets between them were empty and all the windows were shuttered. Little boats had been hauled up the beach and overturned. Lucy didn't think there was a single person around, except for the guards.

There were an awful lot of guards, though.

"They've got Erza, remember?" she said. "If we just charge in blindly, we could put her in danger."

"Lucy!" Lucy turned around. Juvia emerged out of the sea just behind them. "Juvia has found a way into the basement through the water!"

Lucy punched the air. "Nice one!"

"Yeah, good job," Gray said. Juvia shot him a glare, because once Juvia had decided she disliked someone, it was very difficult to change her mind.

"It's a journey of about ten minutes, but it won't be a problem to hold your breath for that long, will it?"

"Nope. Easy-peasy," said Gray and Gajeel.

"Juvia, nobody can do that," said Lucy and Ryos.

"I see," Juvia said, and considered it. "Then, please, put these spheres on your heads. They are formed of super-oxygenated water, so you should be able to breathe."

Gajeel grabbed on and popped it over his head. For a moment his face looked misshapen, like he had his head in a fishbowl, and then his hair rose up and drifted around his head like seaweed. Gajeel was rapidly ensnared in a floating black tangle. He waved his hands in front of his face and made muffled angry noises. Bubbles popped on the outside of the sphere.

"That's actually a lot better. Can we keep him like that?" Lucy asked.

* * *

Erza was ascending the steps out of the cellars, with a falchion in each hand, when she heard it. A faint low buzzing vibrated through the walls and hummed under her feet. She stopped. Red mouths opened up all over the walls. "Muah, manamana," they sang, staticky and distorted, and then Jellal's voice rang out loud and clear.

"Erza! Long time no see! Do you want to play a game?"

Erza backed into a corner with both swords raised, realised that she was backing into another mouth and leapt away.

"Shush, shush," Jellal murmured. Was he watching her? She forced her hands down to her sides, trying to look calm. She couldn't show weakness in front of him.

"Much better," he said. He was definitely watching her. Sweat trickled down the back of Erza's neck. Her muscles ached with the effort of not moving. "It's called the Paradise Game. The rules are that if I sacrifice you to resurrect Zeref, then I win. If you can stop me, you win! But that would be too simple, so I have three extra players here."

Erza frowned.

"Erza, you're not going to guess who they are," Jellal said. "You're going to have to get past them to reach me at the top of the tower." There was a moment of silence, and then he finished abruptly, "That's all. Have fun!" The mouths on the walls vanished.

Erza lifted her chin and raised her falchions. Jellal was at the top of the tower. The obstacles didn't matter.

* * *

Back in Era, the council members were arguing. This was not unusual.

"The R-System is the darkest kind of magic," Org snapped. "It can't be permitted to work on principle! Breaking the law of life and death – it'd cause chaos!"

"We don't know the intentions of the people occupying the tower-"

"Whoever Jellal is, whatever he plans to do, we have to consider him an enemy! We need to dispatch the army immediately!"

"Pathetic," Siegrain said, and repeated himself louder when nobody listened. "Pathetic!"

"What?" said Michello.

Belno glared. "Sieg, how dare you?"

"Just dispatching the army? What kind of weak response is that? Have you failed to realise how dangerous the situation is?" Siegrain shouted. "There's only one way to deal with this!" He met all their angry stares, eyes narrowed, a deep line carved between his eyebrows. "_Satellite Square's Etherion_."

"The destruction magic that transcends space-time?" Michello gasped.

"Sieg, have you gone out of your mind?"

"Do you realise the damage that could cause? That magic has enough power to wipe out a whole country!"

"It's the most powerful weapon we possess! It's far more dangerous than R-system!"

Yajima just sighed, because of course Siegrain wanted to fire Etherion at it. He was a teenaged boy.

"But Satellite Square can target everything on the surface from a distance," Siegrain said. "It's a massive tower! If we want to destroy it, Etherion is the only choice!"

Ultear had been sitting quietly, watching the senior council members debate, but now she raised her hand. "I agree with Sieg."

"Ultear, not you as well!" Org said, exasperated. Sieg had always been a terrible influence on Ultear.

"There are nine of us, with the Chairman ill," Michello said. "If three more people agree, we'll fire Etherion."

The council members looked at each other.

"We don't have time to squabble over this!" Sieg said. "We absolutely can't allow the R-System to be used!"

* * *

Jellal returned to his throne as Trinity Raven swept downstairs, and glanced back at the board. Oh. Erza's friends were coming in through the old flooded quarry. Good. He had been starting to wonder if they'd gotten lost.

Should he repeat himself? ...No. They would work it out. Or they would lose. Either way -

Involuntarily, he glanced upwards. The decision hadn't even been made yet. There was still more than an hour to go. Watching Erza's friends flop around and die would be a nice distraction.

* * *

Juvia led the other four through a rock-carved underwater tunnel so long that no light filtered in at all and they had to feel their way along the walls. When Lucy saw the first dim twilight glow as the tunnel curved back up towards the air, she made a beeline for it.

"Lucy! Stop!" Juvia gasped, but not in time to stop Lucy from colliding headfirst with a metal grille.

"Owww..." Lucy pressed both hands to her head and very slowly floated away. Juvia sliced through the metal and pulled her through. On the other side, they found a deep rocky sunlit pool where fish slid away as they swam past. They clambered out of the water, into a large room criss-crossed by walkways, and shook themselves off.

Lucy pulled her water sphere off with a pop.

Gajeel did the same, and stuck one of the bars Juvia had cut from the grille into his mouth. "It's salty," he said with a scowl, but didn't stop eating.

"That worked well. Nice one," Gray said to Juvia.

"Juvia thinks Gray did very well too, even after I made his sphere smaller than the others," Juvia replied pleasantly.

"Juvia, you're so mean," Lucy whispered, and smothered a giggle behind her hand. "Okay, Erza'll be here somewhere. Maybe close by." She held her arms out to the sides so Juvia could draw the water out of her clothes. Prisons were usually underground, right? Where the rats and dripping pipes were. Ugh. "We just need to be stealthy, and avoid attracting attention for as long as-"

"Who the hell are you guys?"

Lucy goggled upwards. Suddenly, the walkways above them were full of guards. "Oh, no! How did they know we were here?"

"Who cares? Let's kick their asses!"

None of the guards were mages. They were only armed with spears, and their spears skidded off Gajeel's iron scales and slid harmlessly through Juvia. One guardswoman drove her spear into Juvia's chest and out the other side, and was surprised as hell when Juvia blasted her with high-pressure water.

Gray raced up the stairs to the first walkway and somersaulted backwards off the railing, directly over a mob of guards. "Ice-Make: Hammer!" The massive sledgehammer crashed down into the crowd. Those that hadn't been directly under it were sprayed with shrapnel as it shattered.

Lucy flung out a hand, two keys between her fingers. "Open, Gates of the Crab and the Chisel!" Caelum dropped into her hands. Cancer slashed through the onrushing guards in a blur of steel and a cloud of flying hair. A few tried to slip around behind Lucy, but she spun and bludgeoned them into unconsciousness with Caelum.

Ryos stayed back, behind Gajeel.

"Good job, Cancer! And you guys too," Lucy said. Cancer vanished back to the stellar spirit world. Lucy looked around. "Where's the way out of here?"

Gray pointed. "That trapdoor up there."

They all looked up. At the highest point of the walkways, a ladder led up to a trapdoor. It was shut, and only narrow enough for one person to get through at a time.

"You know what's going to happen if we go through there, right?" Lucy said. "We climb up there and then the guy waiting upstairs with a big club bashes our skulls in one by one. Well, not Juvia's."

"I'll go first, then, if you lot are all so worried about being tapped on the head," said Gajeel.

"Yeah, there's nothing in his head that he uses," Gray agreed.

"Oi!"

"Both of you, quit it!" Lucy said. "I've got a better idea. Caelum, Cannon Form!" The chisel transformed, and Lucy set it down. Caelum could take out the trapdoor and anyone lurking behind it in one shot. "Aim!" The barrel rotated to point at the trapdoor. "Charge!"

The trapdoor swung open.

"Uh. Wow. I never intimidated a trapdoor before," Lucy said.

"Are they telling us to come up?" Gray said.

"That's bound to be a trap," Ryos said.

"A trap door!" Gajeel agreed, nodding.

So, after a moment of consideration, Lucy blasted it anyway. After the dust had settled and they'd blinked the afterimages out of their eyes, what was left was a big hole in the ceiling and another big hole where there used to be a walkway.

"Ice-Make: Stairs!" Gray thrust out one hand, and a set of frozen steps burst out of the ground and stretched up towards the ceiling. Fog rolled off it. "Let's go!"

Gray, Gajeel and Juvia raced up the steps with ease. Lucy and Ryos got halfway up, slipped over and fell down shrieking.

The trapdoor opened into an empty dining room. There were no guards around. No charbroiled men with big clubs. "There are no enemies?" Juvia said, and was interrupted by a high-pitched yowl from below.

"Help!"

Lucy and Ryos had fallen over again.

"Ice-Make: Handrail," Gray said.

He couldn't have done that from the start? Lucy and Ryos hauled themselves up, and Lucy looked around.

"Where is everyone? Shouldn't there be people trying to kill us? Not that I'm complaining," she added hurriedly.

"Juvia thinks the trapdoor may have opened by itself," Juvia said.

Oh God. Ghosts. "This tower's _haunted_?!"

"Or it may have been triggered remotely," Juvia said.

"Oh yeah," said Lucy. "So... they know where we are, and they don't want their tower blown up?" She looked around. They were standing in a big room with a balcony running all around it and a high coffered ceiling. A long dining table held flowers in vases. She couldn't see any sign of a surveillance system, so whatever it was, it was well hidden. Everything was covered in a fine layer of dust, but that wasn't from lack of use. That was from the explosion.

Caelum had blown a hole in one wall, as well. Whoops. Lucy peeked through it and saw-

-a classroom? There was a blackboard, the times-tables painted on a wall, a big mural of the tower and a happy smiling sun. The blackboard was scrubbed clean, the tables and benches were pushed against the walls and there were darker patches showing where the pictures had been taken down.

"It's not the right time for a school holiday, is it?" she said, but before anyone could answer there was a yell.

"There they are! It's the intruders!"

"Oh no! Again?" Lucy said, as more guards rushed in. Gray and Juvia fired off Ice Lances and Water Slicers into the mob. Some fell and rolled under the other guards' boots, shrieking, but then the guards were on them.

Gajeel transformed one arm into an iron bar as a spear skidded off his chest. Gray ducked under a spear-swing and pressed both hands to the floor. "Ice-Make: Geyser!" A tower of spiky ice erupted from the ground, sending guards flying, and shattered as Gajeel swung his arm through it.

"What are you doing, you tool?" Gray yelled at him. "Look where you're aiming!"

"Keep out of my way!" Gajeel yelled back. Juvia was firing off bullets of high-pressure water that sent the guards flying backwards, blood spurting from their mouths, and cratered the walls whenever they missed. She didn't miss often.

Gajeel and Gray were still yelling at each other and flailing around; ice lances and iron bars slashed through Juvia's body, but she ignored them and coolly launched another Water Slicer into the mob. Lucy backed up against the far wall, Caelum held defensively in front of her. The walls and floor were shaking. Chunks of plaster fell from the ceiling. Lucy swung Caelum up to block one, and a spear was thrust at her midsection. She shrieked, but before it could hit Gajeel flattened her by accident. Lucy sprawled wheezing on the floor.

Then everything went black.

Lucy panicked for a moment, thinking that she'd been knocked unconscious and would probably wake up wearing a metal bikini in a dungeon, but then realised she was still awake. She scrabbled backwards. Loud thuds and cries rang out of the darkness. "Juvia? Gajeel?"

"It's the bastard with the metal face!" Gajeel snarled. "Filthy cheater!"

* * *

"Owww..."

"Hey, Sho. Get up. That's too sharp an outfit to be lying in the dirt in."

Sho opened his eyes.

"What happened?"

"Erza's escaped!" Millianna said, and pressed both hands to her cheeks and smiled. "That brings back memories!"

"She grew into one troublesome dame," Wally agreed.

Sho scrambled to his feet. "Oh no! This is bad! This is really bad!" He clutched at his hair. "Goddamn it! What are we gonna _do_? What are we gonna-"

"Sho, you got to be more dandy," Wally advised. "Nobody gets away from this island. Millianna, Erza escaping isn't a good thing."

"Oh, right!" said Millianna.

"We're going to be thrown off a cliff!" Sho said. "She'll ruin everything! Jellal's gonna be so mad!"

"Sho, breathe," Wally said. "We're Jellal's best friends. None of us are going to be taking a saltwater nap."

"Where's Simon?" Sho looked around.

"Oh no! What if she ate Simon?" Millianna said.

"Oh my God, she ate Simon!" said Sho.

This was the opposite of dandy. "Both of you, shut your yaps up," Wally said. They shut up. Wally looked around. The door had been locked, and then pulled off its hinges. "That looks like the big man's handiwork. Simon blew this joint already. He'll be going after Erza. We gotta get after them."

"Do you think she'll go after Jellal?" Sho said. "She doesn't know where he is, right?"

"Erza's a smart cookie. She'll have worked it out," Wally said. "When you got a massive tower like this one, there's no place for a dandy man to be but right at the top of it."

* * *

The lights came back on. Lucy scrambled to her feet.

"What happened?" Ryos was crouched at her side. He must have had a hell of a time getting over to her in the pitch blackness. She swung Caelum up to cover both of them.

The big guy in the turban was standing in the middle of a field of unconscious, battered guards.

"This _asshole_ took all the action," Gajeel snarled.

Juvia looked as if she was wondering whether attacking the guy would be polite. Gray had no such compunctions.

"Ice Lancer!"

Frozen spears burst from Gray's hands and arced towards Turban Guy. He sidestepped, snatched the other two out of the air, and crushed them in his massive hands.

"Don't attack," he said. "I'm on your side!"

There was a long pause while they all looked at each other.

"Bullshit," said Gajeel.

"Uh, what?" Lucy said. "You tried to kill us! You blew Gajeel up!"

"Not like I'm bothered, I've been blown up better," Gajeel said.

"It was rude, though," Lucy said. "Is that how people say hello on Abduction Island? Exploding each other in the face?"

"If you died that easily, you wouldn't have been of any use to begin with," said Metalface.

"Died? What? Try 'got murdered'!" Lucy said.

"Yeah, _dickface_," Gajeel agreed.

"Let me explain," Metalface said. Lucy folded her arms. This had better be really, really good. "My name is Simon. This entire building is part of a magical device called the R-System. Years ago, Erza, our friends and I were among those kidnapped and enslaved in order to build it."

Somewhere at the back of Lucy's mind, she heard a voice say, _You'll have to forgive Erza; she wasn't raised in a household that valued manners. An absolute_ slave_ to her conscience..._

"Our leader was a boy named Jellal; he was idealistic and reckless, but charismatic, and my friends were all devoted to him. He led an escape attempt which ended in disaster; to be fair, he did try to hand himself in as the ringleader, but the guards didn't believe him and took Erza away instead."

"Took her where?" Gray demanded.

"The punishment room," Simon said simply. Gray scowled. "Jellal tried to rescue her and only succeeded in taking her place. Erza led a revolution to save him, and in exchange he threw her off the island, blew up the ships we meant to escape on, and claimed that Erza had done it. He trapped us all on the island and convinced the rest of them to continue where the cultists who had enslaved us left off."

"Uh-huh," Lucy said. "And you tried to kill us at the casino because?"

"I didn't plan on killing you then. It was only to fool Sho and the others. They were all completely taken in by Jellal. I pretended to believe him as well, and waited for the right time."

"So you actually didn't want Erza to be kidnapped?" Lucy said.

"Of course not!"

Gray folded his arms. He was scowling. "Then how come you kidnapped her?"

"That does sound counterproductive," Juvia agreed.

"It was so that Jellal wouldn't realise," Simon said.

"That guy wasn't even at the kidnapping!" Lucy said. "Why didn't you just punch your evil buddies in the back of the head when they weren't looking-"

"I don't think you can punch people in the back of the head when they are looking," Ryos said.

"Whatever - and then go find Erza and tell her 'hey, I want your help to fight an evil jellybean, bring all your swords and your friends and your friends' swords'?" She spread her hands. "I just thought of that right now and I'm not even good at planning!"

"You're suggesting I just attack my own friends?"

"He didn't seem to mind attacking Erza," Ryos said to Juvia. "Which implies that Erza isn't his friend."

Simon spread his hands wide in frustration. "What do I have to do to convince you?"

"Not attacking us would have been a good start!" Lucy said. "Why did any of you want to kidnap Erza anyway?"

"I told you, this tower is a black magic device called the R-System. It's designed to resurrect the dead, but it requires a sacrifice. Jellal means for Erza to be the sacrifice so that he can raise Zeref."

There was a long silence. "... the black mage, Zeref?" Juvia asked eventually, for clarification.

"How many Zerefs are there?" Gray said. "Who's going to name their kid Zeref?"

"Oh my God," Lucy said. "First you attack us and kidnap Erza, then you say you were really on our side the whole time, and now suddenly this is all a big plot to resurrect Zeref?" She turned to the others. "Do any of you think we should trust this guy? I don't!"

"Nor does Juvia."

"No," said Ryos.

"Hello no," said Gajeel. "What, do you think we're stupid?"

"This guy's stalling us," Gray said. "He's stopping us finding Erza. Let's kick his ass and go!"

"Sounds good," Gajeel growled.

Simon sighed, and Lucy realised what he was about to do a moment before he cast the spell. "Dark Moment!"

Everything vanished. Lucy shrieked. "Juvia! Water Slicer!" Juvia shot off a volley of water arcs right where Simon had been standing, but there was no answering cry of pain. When the darkness cleared, Simon had disappeared.

"You're not getting away again! I can track you by smelling your stupid face!" Gajeel roared, and took off after him at a run.

(At his gameboard at the top of the tower, Jellal laughed so hard he had to sit down.)

"Um," Lucy said, as the noise of Gajeel's pounding footsteps disappeared into the distance. "Is anyone else concerned about what he was saying?"

"What, do you believe him now?" said Gray.

"Of course I don't think he's really on our side! It's the rest of it. When we were at the Judicial Palace, I ran into Erza talking to Councillor Siegrain, and he made a couple weird comments about Erza being _a slave to her conscience_ – I think the first part could be true."

Gray nodded slowly. Lucy could see him putting it together with things he already knew, but he didn't share them. Or maybe he was just mentally adding Siegrain onto his to-punch list.

"And the village is empty, that classroom's been packed up and we've seen nobody but guards and the kidnapping squad. It's like they've evacuated. There must be something big happening. Do you think he was telling the truth about resurrecting Zeref?"

Gray's face went cold and closed off. "Nobody would do that. That's insane."

"I met a woman one time who tried to feed everyone she knew to chthonians. People are crazy," Lucy said. They really shouldn't have let Ryos come. Well, he was there now. They would just have to look after him."There's something about to happen. I just don't know what-" She ducked through the hole in the classroom wall and looked around.

"Do you really think anyone would try to restore Zeref to power?" Juvia asked.

Lucy turned around. On the wall that Caelum had blasted through, half-reduced to dust, was a fingerpainting of a big purple swirly monster. Next to it were painted three words. OUR LORD ZEREF.

"They're totally trying to resurrect Zeref! That's completely what they're doing!" Lucy said. "Oh my God!"

"Then we need to find Erza faster and kick these guys' asses," Gray snapped, as Lucy scrambled out of the classroom. "Come on!"

"What are you talking about, kicking their asses?" Lucy said. Gajeel had just run off and they had Ryos to look after. "We should find Erza and get out!" They couldn't go through with the plan without Erza. "The Council can deal with the cultists."

"What?" Gray scrunched up his face. "The Magic Council? Why?"

"Well, they already know about it! And they have an army, we don't?" Lucy said. "Majorly psychotic cults are their problem! I just want to find Erza and get the hell out of here!"

"That's a waste of time. What's the Council done? They'd just meddle and screw it up!" Gray said. "I'm going to find Erza." He turned and stomped away.

"Bye! Won't miss you," Lucy said under her breath.

Where would she find a communications lacrima? Would it even be possible to communicate with people off the island? Probably not. She would have to try something else.

"Open, Gate of the Crab! Cancer!"

Cancer materialised, scissors raised, and looked around. "It's not a fight, -ebi?" He brightened up. A hopeful glow radiated from behind his sunglasses. "Do you want your hair cut?"

"No," Lucy said. Cancer wilted. Even the crab legs extending from his back drooped towards the floor. "I need a message delivered... but if you help I'll find you so many people who actually want their hair cut. And tickets to the ice hockey!"

Cancer wavered, but was ultimately unable to resist the lure of haircuts and ice-based ultraviolence. "Deal, -ebi."

* * *

"If we want to prevent the R-System from being used, there's no other option. Etherion is the only way," Sieg said.

"This type of black magic has been forbidden since ancient times, and for good reason," Ultear agreed.

"If we use Etherion, it will destroy everything!" Org banged his fist on the table. "Innocents could be killed! We already know that the Titania is probably in the tower."

"Erza's escaped already. I expect," Sieg said dismissively. Belno rolled her eyes a little. Ultear looked sharply at Sieg, who ignored her. She kicked him under the table. He wriggled further away. "How many innocents would you expect to find on Abduction Island, anyway? Belno, did the recon team see any evidence that they were using slaves?"

"None," Belno said. "They managed to capture two inhabitants who were out on a fishing boat. One leapt overboard in chains, the other was foolishly left alone and managed to take a suicide pill. All that the recon team managed to get out of them is that they had overthrown the original builders – which seemed to be a point of pride – and the name of their leader, which the first one screamed as he jumped off the ship." Sieg rolled his eyes. "The evidence suggests fanatical loyalty."

"Good," Sieg said. "What? Loyalty is an admirable trait." His eyes narrowed a little. "It's irritating that they didn't tell you who they were trying to raise. Still, do they sound like innocents to you? I don't believe there are any, and even if there are, sacrifices have to be made in the interests of preserving order."

"Sieg's correct," Leiji said, with a sigh. "None of us would have got where we are now if it weren't for the sacrifices of others. That's evident throughout history. Nothing comes for free. I'll support the use of Etherion."

"But Leiji!" Councillor Renka appealed to the older man, not the two young hotheads. "If we attack Caelum's soil without warning, it'll leave a permanent black mark on our record as Councillors! It'll establish a dangerous precedent! The diplomatic ramifications-"

"The diplomatic ramifications will have to be dealt with," Belno said. "The dead cannot be returned to life. These are idealistic brats. They need to understand reality. I vote for firing Etherion."

"Belno!" Org said. He sounded scandalised, as if she'd just spat on the table.

"One more, then," Siegrain said quietly.

"The island is nearly forty miles off Caelum's coast," Ultear said. "And they've clearly not missed it, if a gang of dark mages could build a colossal tower there without their navy ever noticing. It's not as though we're firing on their capital. There may be no Caelite citizens on the island at all."

Michello looked down, and lifted one hand a little.

"Caelum's touchy," Org said. Michello put both hands down flat on the table.

* * *

Cancer melted away into starlight. "Okay," Lucy said, and pushed a few strands of still-damp hair out of her eyes. "Now we have to find Erza." She reached for her keys. "Open, Gate of the Hunting Hounds! Canes Venatici!"

The Hounds appeared in a flash, and Lucy had to bend over for a minute with her hands on her knees – she'd summoned too many spirits too fast. Misha tried to lick her face. Boo sat quietly, tail wrapped around his paws. Ryos reached out and tentatively petted one of his ears.

Lucy straightened up. "We're looking for a girl in armour who uses strawberry shampoo. Can you help?"

The Hounds split up. Boo trotted to the corridor Simon and Gajeel had taken, while Misha tore around the room like a maniac searching for other paths. Boo picked up Erza's scent first. He barked. Misha shot back to him, yelping, and then they both broke into a run. They hared off down the corridor.

"She's gone that way! Come on!" Lucy, Juvia and Ryos followed the Hounds.

* * *

A/N: Simon's plan was, seriously, the worst plan.


	20. Trinity Raven

"On the matter of firing Etherion against the Tower of Heaven, the vote is four in support, and five against," Org said. "Etherion will not be fired."

"This is a mistake," Sieg said irritably. "If-"

"Sieg, don't argue, the debate has gone on quite long enough!" Org snapped.

Sieg threw up both hands, slouched down in his chair and said nothing. Ultear kicked him subtly under the table. Sieg wriggled further away.

"Then we'll send in the Rune Knights," Org said. "The Third and Fourth Legions are barracked at Gladiolus Town. That would be closest."

"Do you think two legions will be sufficient?" Belno asked.

"It's a small island. I don't think more than two would fit," said Leiji.

Ultear kicked Sieg under the table, much less subtly. Sieg scrunched up as far away from her as he could get.

"It'll take them two hours to reach the island. If we send for them to mobilise and prepare for a fortress assault, the details can be worked out while they're en route-"

There was a knock on the door, and one of the amphibious administrators stuck his head in. "We've received a message," he said. "It concerns the Tower of Heaven." His voice was thin.

"Go for it," Sieg said. The frog didn't read it out. He hurried across the room and set the sheet of paper in front of Org. When Org glanced over the message, his face went white.

"What is it?" Belno said.

"It's from the ex-Phantom mages who followed Erza. They know who Jellal means to resurrect," Org said. "Zeref. They mean to revive Zeref."

Leiji let out a little squawk of alarm. Belno's eyes widened. Yajima sighed and rubbed his forehead. Ultear covered her mouth with her sleeve.

"And they say that Sieg already knows all about it," Org said. He looked up. "Sieg? Is that true?" Everyone turned to look at Sieg.

Sieg slouched down further in his chair and said, "Oh, man. Awkward."

"If you have any information you're withholding-" Belno started, her voice taut with fury.

Sieg sighed, raised both hands in surrender and said, "Jellal is my twin brother."

"...what?" said Yajima.

"Oh, God," said Leiji.

"How?" Org rasped.

"You see, when a man's sperm fertilises a woman's egg, that makes something called a _zygote_, and that zygote can split into two, which means you get – Shouldn't your parents have covered this?"

"Sieg, you utter tool," Belno said. "I suggest we reconsider firing Etherion. One of them is bad enough."

"Sieg, explain yourself, _now_," Yajima said.

Sieg shoved his hands into his pockets. "You already know from the other seven sites that a lot of people were abducted and enslaved to build the towers. Jellal was one of them. I assumed that he had died until I met Erza, shortly after my appointment. She mistook me for him and tried to kill me. It was adorable. Apparently there was some sort of revolt on the eighth site, some years ago; the slaves took over and Erza, another victim, was expelled for not wanting to take over their enslavers' plans to revive Zeref." He took a deep breath. "Of course, I assumed their plan would fail due to lack of resources and that the group would self-destruct, as cults do tend to. It certainly sounded like a chaotic shambles. No organisation whatsoever. Mentioning it would just have been acutely embarassing and resulted in unneccessary carnage; from what Erza told me, any assault would only have ended in the new cultists killing as many Rune Knights as possible before committing mass suicide. Particularly if Jellal is in charge now."

The other councillors nodded slowly. Mass slaughter followed by suicidal pique sounded like exactly what Sieg would do in that situation. They were all well aware of the amount of damage Sieg could inflict, too.

"I'm surprised they've managed to complete the tower at all. That can't have been cheap," Sieg said.

"Then you think they may have had outside help?"

Sieg shrugged. "Possibly? There can't be many people who would want to see Zeref revived, but that's not the cult's true aim. They want to..." He waved a hand vaguely. "...cause chaos, destabilise the world, destroy the existing order. A sort of mania for revolution. Zeref is a means to an end. If Jellal succeeds – and he must be certain he'll succeed, to take these risks – then the consequences will be terrible. If he fails, he'll just move on to a different plan."

There was a long silence.

"Sieg, when this is finished, you are going to be in a lot of trouble," Org said. Sieg just shrugged. They weren't about to put him on trial or fire him. That would be scandalous.

"You've been advocating firing Etherion at your own _brother_," Yajima said, aghast.

"He's hardly my brother," Sieg said. "I haven't seen him since we were five and, more to the point, he'd happily kill all of us and is trying to resurrect Zeref."

"Agreed," Belno said. "I suggest we reconsider firing Etherion. If there's even the slightest chance of Zeref's revival, we can't afford to do anything else. Eliminating a Sieg is just the cherry on the cake."

"Okay, ow," Sieg said.

"Agreed," said Leiji.

"Erza Scarlet and the mages who went to rescue her could still be in the tower," Yajima said. "You can't seriously mean to fire Etherion before knowing that they've escaped!"

Sieg kicked Ultear under the table.

"They'll have realised there's a chance that the tower will be targeted with Etherion," she said. "If they're capable of sending messages, they're capable of leaving. They know the risk they're taking. I support firing Etherion."

"So do I," Michello said.

"Likewise," said Sieg. Five against four. A faint savage smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"It's a hard decision," Org said. "But... there are two separate threats here, and either one could justify the use of Etherion. In this situation, there's no alternative."

The other two councillors agreed, briefly, their faces drawn.

Yajima shook his head. "This is a mistake. I can't support it."

"The vote is eight for and one against. The use of Etherion is hereby approved," Org said.

Yajima slid down from the table and walked away, suddenly feeling every one of his eighty-nine years. Sieg followed him.

"Yajima, even though you don't agree with the method," he said, "surely you agree that we can't allow Zeref's revival?"

"At this point, it's not my place to argue," Yajima said shortly. "I hope you're willing to accept the consequences of this action."

"Absolutely. I'll take full responsibility," Sieg said.

"We are talking about human _lives_ here, Sieg! Erza Scarlet, those ex-Phantom kids, the ex-slaves, your own _brother_! What would your parents say?"

"Right now?" Sieg thought about that for a long moment, hands in his pockets, brow furrowed, before he hazarded "'Oh shit, we're stuck in these coffins'?"

Yajima exploded. "Sieg, this is serious! All the lives that are about to be lost will be on your hands! Can you live with that?"

"Etherion will be fired in one hour!" Org shouted, behind them. "Make the preparations!"

"Let's find out," Sieg said, and turned away.

* * *

On the north side of the tower, on the fifth floor, there was a hall with three tiers of windows, a vaulted ceiling, doors opening onto a sunlight balcony and polished wooden floors. Gajeel's hobnailed boots scored deep scratches into the wood as he chased Simon through the hall.

"Oi! Metalface! Get back here!" He lashed out, arm transforming into a metal bar mid-punch. Simon turned around and caught it. Gajeel yanked his arm back, but only managed to drag Simon forward a few steps.

"I don't want to fight you!" Simon snapped.

"Fair enough. I wouldn't want to fight me either," Gajeel said.

"This is a waste of time! We need to-"

"Who's that 'we'?" Gajeel interrupted. "Damn, you're persistent, trying to pretend you're on our side." Spikes erupted from his metal arm, knocking Simon back and pinning him to the ground. "We don't need trash on our side!"

"What?" Simon yelled back. He hadn't heard Gajeel, because someone was suddenly murdering a guitar.

"I said WE DON'T NEED TRASH ON OUR SIDE!"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID WE DON'T NEED - OI!" Gajeel roared, lifting his head. "KNOCK IT OFF!"

A man appeared through the archway at the end of the hall. He was swinging and jerking his head so that his hair whipped all the way around in a perfect circle with every step, and playing a guitar at the same time. The fingers of his left hand were a blur on the fretboard, and the sound must have been magically amplified somehow because the onslaught of noise rattled the windowpanes.

"Who's this douchebag?" Gajeel said.

A few last ear-splitting notes, and the douchebag flung his head back. "Ayaow! Asssassins' guild, the Death's Head Caucus! Hey, we're the Skulls! Cool name, ain't it?" He played another couple of screeching notes and then dropped the pitch fast with the tremolo arm to make a noise like a bomb falling. "Vidaldus Taka of Trinity Raven! Welcome to my concert of hell, you bastards!"

"Trinity Raven?" Simon gasped. "They're the Death's Head Caucus's strongest team! They assassinated all the officers of the Western Army in the Cabria War!"

At the same moment, Gajeel said "Concert of hell sounds right! What do you think you're doing to that guitar? Is that supposed to be music?"

"The music of the damned in hell!" Vidaldus shrieked. "I'll show you music! Dischord!" He swung his hair back and around - "Is this a death metal shampoo advert?" Gajeel said, looking around for cameramen - and played a loud, atonal riff. The floors and walls shook. The air distorted. The windows shattered. Simon clapped his hands over his ears. Gajeel braced his feet apart, turned his skin to iron scales and sneered as Vidaldus lifted his hands from the strings.

"That's not music, that's just noise!" He looked down at Simon. "This asshole's just thrashing about on a guitar, right?"

"I honestly don't care much about guitars," Simon said.

Gajeel and Vidaldus both stared at him. Gajeel retracted his arm, and pointed. "Go stand over there."

Simon obeyed, though not from docility so much as self-preservation instincts. Gajeel produced his own guitar.

"...where were you keeping that?" Simon said. Gajeel ignored him.

"Listen, you bastard," he growled. "_This_ is music!"

* * *

Over the patter of the Hounds' paws and their own running footfalls, Lucy heard a noise. It sounded like 'whoo-whoo!'

"Did anyone else hear a train?" Ryos asked, and Juvia shouted "Get down!"

They all threw themselves flat. Something shot past overhead. It was moving too fast for Lucy to make out any details – a brown blur, a trail of fire.

"Gate of the Hounds, close!" she screamed, because they weren't combat spirits. Their attacker landed on a rafter where he could look down at them.

"I am Fukuro, a warrior of justice! Whoo-whoo!"

"It's an owl!" Lucy said. "An owl talking about justice and stuff! An owl with a rocket pack!" Actually, why would an owl need a rocket pack?

"That guy wasn't at the hotel," Ryos said. "Who is he?"

"I am Fukuro, a warrior of justice! Whoo-whoo!" Fukuro repeated, a little louder. His head tipped ninety degrees to one side. "I am familiar with all of you. You committed the basest treachery, turning against your own teacher and master. Some evils cannot be permitted to exist in this world."

"What?" Ryos gasped.

"Jose, Ryos, he means Jose," Lucy said.

"Oh yeah," Ryos said, and relaxed.

"Well done, you read the paper," Lucy said. "Jose was a jerk, and this is what jerks get. Juvia!"

"Water Slicer!"

The attack slashed through the rafter, but Fukuro had already stepped backwards off it, landed on the floor and taken off again. Juvia spun and sent another volley of water arcs flying after him. Fukuro dodged and wove skilfully between them, right up until he wasn't fast enough. The last slicer cut through one of his rockets. It sputtered and went out. The other rocket spun him over and over until he crashed into the floor.

"Great job, Juvia!" Lucy shouted. That was how you got to be one of the Element Four!

It didn't stop Fukuro, though. As he rolled to his feet, he jettisoned the damaged rocket. It rolled away across the floor, and he stooped so that the other rocket was aimed directly at Juvia. "Missile Hoo Hoo Hoo!" Lucy and Ryos dived out of the way. Juvia didn't bother to move. The rocket blasted through her and exploded into a cloud of grey dust.

Lucy scrambled backwards, spitting out gritty particles. "Juvia! Ryos!" Her eyes were watering. As the dust settled, she could make out Juvia, still standing where she had been. Her face was grey and dull and frozen in a look of surprise. The hole the rocket had made in her chest hadn't closed over. She raised one hand, excruciatingly slowly. Grey gloop dripped from the ends of her fingers and splattered on the floor.

No way! What was that?

("Oh, the instant concrete! Clever," Jellal observed, leaning against his gameboard. "I wondered what he wanted that for.")

"Your weaknesses were all known before you arrived here," Fukuro said. "Now it's time to bring the hammer of justice swinging down on you! Whoo-whoo!"

Juvia's palm opened slowly. Her lips moved with a rasp of grit on grit. "Water Sli-"

Fukuro shot down the hall, energy charging around his fist. "Judgement Hoo!" Then he punched Juvia through the wall. The outside wall. For a moment Juvia was silhouetted against the low evening sun, in a cloud of brick and plaster fragments, and then she was gone. Lucy screamed.

* * *

"When your heart and body rust," Gajeel sang, "shooby shooby-do-bop! The good flavour, it just doesn't come out-"

"Woah! I never heard such crazy lyrics!" Vidaldus yelled. "And not crazy in a good way! They sound like they were written by the damned in heeeeelllll!" His tongue lolled out of his mouth. "Heeeellll! Ayaowww!" He strummed his guitar.

"Shut up about hell!" Gajeel shouted back. "Hell hell hell – don't you have anything else to sing about? If you can call that singing! You're just yelling near a guitar!"

("And the Iron Dragon and Vidaldus Taka are having a sing-off! It's highly irregular, but just for today, we're going to let it slide," Jellal said.)

By this point, Simon had quietly left. Neither of them had noticed.

"Your singing sounds like a chainsaw in a woodchipper," Vidaldus informed him, and strummed wildly on his guitar. "Oh yeah! That's a sick burn! A sick burn to stoke the fires of hell!"

"I like chainsaws!" Gajeel retorted. "What sort of wimp doesn't like chainsaws? And quit making that godawful noise! You're not playing music, you're just showing off techniques – there's _no_ soul in it!" He glared at Vidaldus.

Vidaldus narrowed his eyes. "You think I need a new soul? How about I take _yours_-"

Then Juvia landed on the balcony outside, and went splat. Drops of wet concrete spattered Gajeel's face and tunic. He stopped dead, and slowly raised one hand to wipe a spot away.

Vidaldus burst out laughing. "Judgement from above, sent by the devil himself!"

Juvia was struggling to pull herself back together. Half-formed, grey-faced, still a puddle below the waist, she pushed herself up on dissolving hands. Her eyes opened.

"Lockser, what the fuck-" Gajeel started. Juvia's head ground around to look past him. In the far wall, a pipe exploded. A torrent of water burst through the wall and splashed across the floor. Juvia reached out and dragged it towards her.

"Lockser – ugh, that's disgusting," Gajeel said. "You're getting water on my boots! Ugh!" He tried to kick the water away. That didn't work.

Juvia had finished renewing her water body. She stood and stormed away from the heap of wet concrete. She walked straight past Gajeel, who grabbed at her shoulder. "Oi! You splatted me in bits of your gross soggy ass, Lockser! Are you going to apologise for that?"

Juvia slid out of his grip. "No! Juvia is going to help Lucy and Ryos!"

Vidaldus blocked her path as she headed for the archway. "Hey, water girl, where you going? Keep your fine self down here with us-"

"Water Lock!"

"Rock?" Bubbles erupted from his mouth. "Girl, are you a rocker too?" Juvia shoved the bubble out of the way and moved on.

"Ayaow! That's harsh!" The rocker's voice was loud and raucous and unmuffled. Juvia spun around. The Water Lock had disappeared. He was standing there, arms out, hair draped across his face.

"Who are you? How did you do that?"

"Vidaldus Taka, Trinity Raven! We're the Skulls' biggest band, yeah!" He flipped all six feet of his hair. "A bit of water's the best thing for the hair, bright eyes! If you wash it out with shampoo every day, you strip out the natural oils, you get me?"

"Juvia does not care! How did you destroy Juvia's Water Lock?"

"It's the hair, babe," he said. "It absorbs any liquid – but no alcohol or oil, yeah? That'd be bad."

"Water isn't effective?" Juvia gasped.

"I really think I saw this guy in a shampoo advert one time," Gajeel said. Gajeel was not being helpful.

Juvia's water started to boil. She would just have to overwhelm him! "Sierra!" She rushed Vidaldus, meaning to blast straight past him. Vidaldus's hair whipped out and drove itself through Juvia's body like spears.

"Ugh!" It was so gross, feeling his hair absorbing her water! Juvia slid aside, trying to free herself, but there was too much of it coiling around and through her like seaweed. She couldn't get away! Juvia shrieked and threw herself backwards, scrambling to get free of Vidaldus's hair. Massive chunks of her body were gone. The rest was linked only by thin strands of water. Juvia hurriedly drew more water into herself and rebuilt her body again. "Gajeel, kill him, Juvia needs to get back to Lucy!"

"Oi, don't be bossy," Gajeel said. "Ashley'll be fine."

"_Gajeel_!"

Vidaldus was seething. Literally. His face had gone lobster red, and steam drifted in great clouds from his hair. "You bitch! Don't you know never to wash in boiling water? It damages the roots!" He brought both hands down on the strings of his guitar. "That's the cardinal sin of haircare! Rock of Incubus!"

The high screeching notes felt like they were splitting Juvia's head open. Gajeel howled.

"Grragh! Stop it, you bastard!"

"What's wrong?" Juvia gasped. Gajeel doubled over, clutching at his head. "Gajeel! What is it?" She reached for his arm. He knocked her back.

"No! Fuck off!"

Juvia retreated. What was happening? The shrill sound hurt her ears. The walls and floor hummed, and it was unpleasant feeling the soundwaves ripple through her, but it wasn't _that_ painful. Did Gajeel just really hate this sort of music?

Gajeel straightened up. "Hey, water bitch!" A psychotic grin stretched across his face. "I'm going to kick you down into the depths of hell!"

"Gajeel!" Juvia nearly stamped her feet. "This is not the-" Realisation dawned. "Oh, no!" Gajeel was being mind-controlled! What should she do? She couldn't escape past Vidaldus – she would just end up absorbed into his hair and still unable to help Lucy, and that was too horrible to even think about. Even if she could find a way to escape, Gajeel could be compelled to follow her and attack Lucy and Ryos, or even to harm himself.

She had to find a way to put both of them down, quickly.

"Water Slicer!"

* * *

"That's sensible," Jellal said aloud. The Dragon Slayer posed more of a threat to Vidaldus, and it was practical to let the water-woman wear herself down against her companion. It was a better decision than he would have expected from the rocker, at least. "Well, that's it for the Dragon Slayer." He flicked over the steel-grey dragon token. The water-woman was in a tricky situation, but she could still extricate herself. That would be interesting.

Lucy Ashley and the kid versus Fukuro – Lucy had shown some intelligence in that guild war debacle, but he doubted she could think herself out of that one. The ice mage had just run into Sho, Millianna and Wally - "Where's Erza, you bastards?!" "That's so weird! We were just about to ask you that!" said Millianna - but stepping over their frozen corpses wouldn't slow him down that much. Simon was still bumbling about as the world's least efficient traitor. And Erza...

Erza was climbing the stairs to the eighteenth floor, four storeys below. Both her falchions were raised, ready to ward off an attack. At the top of the steps, she looked around, brow furrowed. Where were the enemies?

Jellal looked to see where Ikaruga was, and smiled suddenly. He activated the tannoy system on the eighteenth floor. As the mouths opened on the walls Erza jumped and spun around on the spot, both swords held high.

"Erza, they don't bite," he said. "Your allies are in trouble, you know. The ice mage, the Dragon Slayer, the water woman and the summoner."

Erza's eyes went wide. "Why are they here? What did you do?"

"It's nothing to do with me," he said. "They came of their own accord. Did you not realise they would try to rescue you?" He watched the rapid rise and fall of her breastplate and her knuckles whitening on the hilts of her swords. "They've run into my obstacles. Bad luck for them, they're not quite up to scratch. If Lucy Ashley and that little boy survive the next five minutes, I'll be astonished. Still, they brought it on themselves, right, Erza? You didn't ask them to come and if they get themselves killed trying to help you, that's hardly your fault."

Erza said nothing.

"I'm just curious. What are you going to do?" Jellal said. "Will you come and try to kill me, or will you go to save your friends? Because that worked _so_ well last time."

"You're lying. They're not here," she said.

"That's possible," Jellal agreed. His smile widened. "Are you going to risk it?"

There was a long moment of silence. Then Erza cursed. Her voice cracked. "Jellal, you bastard!" She spun around and clattered back down the stairs. She was running down a corridor on the seventeenth floor, where the light of the setting sun dyed her armour blood-red and the wind through the broad windows whipped her hair about her face, when she saw someone standing in her way. She skidded to a stop.

"Who are you?"

The woman blocking Erza's path lifted her head. She wore layers of kimono – black, red and white, patterned with skulls – and a faint inscrutable porcelain-doll smile, and she was holding a sword as long as she was tall. Cherry blossom swirled around her, caught in a perpetual wind.

"Greetings. I hope that you were not in a hurry to move on."

Jellal grinned.

* * *

"Ice-Make: Shield!"

Sho's card projectiles exploded against the ice wall blocking the hallway. Cracks spread across its shiny surface. Gray was already sliding into the next stance. Hands at his hip, fist against one open palm, bringing both hands forward and down to the ground. "Ice-Make: Geys-"

It was lucky that he was stooping down. A blast struck the ice wall just above his head. It came from behind him. Gray whirled around as Wally materialised behind him, gun first. Another fusillade of explosions echoed from behind the ice wall as Sho began to blast through it.

"Polygon Sphere!" From the chest down, Wally came apart into blocks which closed tight around Gray's arms and slammed him against the wall. Gray kicked out, but couldn't reach him. Wally took aim.

"Ice-Make: Gauntlet!" The ice expanding around Gray's forearms forced the polygon spheres open, and he dropped to the ground. He closed the distance between them and knocked the gun barrel aside just as Wally fired. The bullet hit the ice wall just under the ceiling, knocking a massive chunk free. Ice shards rained down on them. As Wally's body reformed, Gray punched him right in the jaw. Wally staggered back. "Ice-Make: Saucer!" Gray created a disc of ice, set it spinning like the blade of a buzzsaw and launched it at Wally.

Wally dissolved into blocks again. The disc flashed through the space where he had been, bit a slice out of the stone floor, and shattered into razor-sharp shrapnel.

"32 Frames Per Second Attack!"

The barrage of blocks knocked Gray down and sent him skidding across the floor until he slammed into the bottom of his own ice wall.

Wally reformed and aimed his gun at Gray, then stopped. He lowered his gun. Gray looked up just in time to see Millianna slide through the gap at the top of the shield. "Hi, Wally!" And then she jumped. "Whee!" She landed squarely on Gray.

Gray's eyes bugged out of his head. He wheezed and thrashed and managed to yank one arm free from under Millianna's weight.

"Ice-Make: Spray Bottle!" Made one-handed, it was weak and flimsy, with a bottle like blown glass. There wasn't time to worry about it. Gray aimed it squarely at Millianna's face and pulled the trigger. A fine cloud of ice crystals spurted out.

"Yow!" Millianna scrambled back and hid behind Wally. Gray threw the spray bottle aside and rolled to his feet just as the ice shield finally collapsed. On the other side, Sho fanned out another dozen cards. Gray spun and set his back against the wall, facing off with all three of them.

"I don't care how brainwashed you guys are!" he shouted, and slammed his fist against his open palm, ready to cast another spell. "I won't hold back against anyone trying to hurt my friends!"

* * *

This woman in the kimono must be one of Jellal's three extra players. "I have no business with you. Leave," Erza said.

"Oh, my. How brusque," she said. "I am called Ikaruga." She drew her sword a few inches out of the scabbard. Erza saw the sunset gleam on the blade, and then her armour crumbled into pieces. Erza cried out in shock. Her swords fell apart, leaving her gripping nothing but the bare hilts. The pieces rained down around her feet. "That was by way of a greeting. Let me guess – you didn't see me move?" Erza stared at her, eyes wide. So fast... She was startled, strangely, by how cold it was, this high up. "You were so concerned with reaching Jellal, you didn't see the blade flashing all around you. A ghost passed by me / A breath of wind, a whisper / And went unnoticed... I am no mere passerby on the road."

"Understood," Erza said. Her eyes narrowed. "You're an enemy." She requipped into the Heaven's Wheel armour. The hilts of her twin swords settled into her hands.

Ikaruga smiled faintly. "That's much better. Here I come!"

Their blades clashed. It was a relief tobe fighting, instead of thinking; if you had to think about a sword fight, you were already dead. There was only slash against parry, the crash of their swords meeting jarring up to her shoulders, a momentary glimpse of Ikaruga's faint porcelain-doll smile. Ikaruga made a thrust, throwing her whole body behind it, arm extended and scabbard held out behind as a counterbalance. Erza somersaulted over her blade. "Circle Sword!" A ring of swords materialised between them and scythed down towards Ikaruga.

"Mugetsu Ryu! Yaksha's Empty Flash!" Ikaruga leapt high and spun in the air. Her blade flashed. Erza's swords shattered. Fragments spiked into the floor all around Ikaruga. Erza gasped, and then a line of fire opened up across her shoulder. She cried out. The Heaven's Wheel armour tumbled down in pieces. It was if a wind just tore it away. Ikaruga sliced upwards, cutting the air. "Mugetsu Ryu: Garuda Flames!" A onrushing wall of fire erupted in the wake of her blade.

"Flame Empress!" Erza caught the firestorm on her crossed gauntlets, but the heat seared her face and the concussive force flung her back and sent her skidding on the floor. She staggered to her feet.

"A flame-resistant armour? I'm impressed that you managed to requip it quickly enough to defend yourself," Ikaruga said. The Flame Empress armour fell apart. "A pity it isn't more durable. Come now-" Her smile widened a little. "You won't last using such flimsy armours."

There was nothing else she could do. Erza requipped into her most powerful armour. She felt it drag on her magic immediately, the power required to maintain its defensive fields and just to move easily under the weight of the thick black plates. Spikes ranged across the breastplate and along the greaves and gauntlets. Erza gripped the handle of the massive club that came with it. Red light blazed in her eyes. "Nobody has seen this armour before and lived. Witness it and despair: the Purgatory Armour!"

Three seconds later the Purgatory Armour was dust. Erza tumbled to the floor. Ikaruga looked back over her shoulder.

"You understand now, yes? No matter how much power you sink into your silly armours, they can't stand up to my blade."

Erza lay on the floor, in the shattered remnants of her strongest armour, and gasped for breath. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. "How disappointing," Ikaruga said. "You would be wise to surrender."

With a surge of acid humiliation, Erza realised that Jellal must be watching this. He would be so amused. Panic flooded through her. She didn't know what to do! There wasn't anything she _could_ do!

"Lightning Empress," she rasped, and the armour formed around her. Erza climbed to her feet, leaning on the spear. Ikaruga lifted her sword. She was still smiling. Erza shifted her weight and brought her spear down. It was sliced to pieces even as the electricity burst from its twin points and zeroed in on Ikaruga's raised blade. Her sword flashed again and the lightning fell away, but by then Erza was already throwing herself out of the window.

* * *

A/N: I've discovered the annoying thing about writing AUs. It's very hard to _surprise_ people. Guys, the arc after this is going to involve Laxus throwing the most phenomenal strop. It will literally encompass the entirety of Magnolia Town. This tantrum will be visible from space. Anyone surprised? Anyone mad about spoilers? NOPE.


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